She covers me like frost when it sets in fresh,
I've been barely breathing since the day she almost left.
I've been at a stand still in quicksand; sinking fast,
I wish I could take a pill to let go of the past.

The blame game, has got it's newest saint,
forever in denial of all mistakes.
The blame game, always takes on my name,
forever in debt for all heartbreaks.

My visible breath spills secrets of another life,
a person you've never met but call your wife.
Brokenhearted and destined to be a knotch on a long, long belt,
Dearly departed with distance and it's the closest you've ever felt.

The blame game, has gained it's newest saint,
forever forgetting the dealt pain.
The blame game, takes on none the same,
forever drowning in the falling rain.

She paints me solid in the blackest of tar,
I fell for all of it but fell down too far.
There is something left but just too small to ever grasp,
I won't be the one to confess, with my dying rasp.

By the way, I'm
Feeling sad, alone, depressed, anxious,
Frantic, and seeking medication.
But you wouldn't know, you've
Forgotten me. Lost in your domestic bliss.
Friends get out of sync sometimes.
But I'm not blaming you.
Friends
Forever

Right?

It's easy to forget
Who you truly are
When you're trying to be someone you're not

It's easy to live
A life with no worry
When you choose not to care

It's easy to pretend
Like you have no problems
When you don't solve any

It's easy to blame others
For life's woes and worries
When you look away from the mirror

It's hard to love yourself
And the life you live
When you don't know who you are

Lighter, flames,
Another ounce of nicotine in me,
And you're the one to blame,
For the way my heart feels,

And I crave for more of it,
The way it burns in my lung,
I won't care of the demise I'll meet,
Its the one thing I understand,

See you're just like nicotine,
Both **** the life out of me,
But at least with a cigarette I'll be,
High for a while and stress free,

It kills I know,
But so is the milk from which you could choke,
I'll die, yes I know,
At least I'll know its my fault,

I confess to everything,
To all the lies I've told,
Pain I've caused
And happiness I stole,

I confess to everything,
All the stolen nights,
Memories ruined,
And all the good byes,

I confess to all of it,
And wasted time,
I'll take all the blame,
If it'll once again make you mine,

There is a war
     waging inside me
    tearing me
to pieces.
Do I grovel for forgiveness
    fight for this
or run...
        like I've always done?

I don't know how it works
trying to be
a part of something
       bigger than
                    me.

I feel complete blindness and
     terrifying uncertainty.
                   Is it me?
    Am I ruining whatever this is?
Or are you to blame too?

Don't you see
      I've never done this before.
           Everything is new to me
       and I'm trying my best
but I fear I keep faltering...
                                     failing....
                                           falling.
I've only ever looked out for myself
    and yet
         here I am dancing
     on my tippy toes
trying to please you.
No ones ever wanted me
          around constantly
        so instinctively
I pull back.
I'm not sure I'll ever get this right
            especially
if you don't understand my
         doubt and
               hesitation.

Is this love
    or agony?

I didn't know it was possible
      to confuse the two.
Some days I feel
    oh so high and happy
that's when it's easy to be with you.
     But there are days like this where
          it appears
I've messed up
                     again.
Now there's
simply radio
    silence.

I'm struggling daily.
If it's all me
      if all these mistakes
          are only mine to make
     do I continue trying?
There's no promise
     I'll get better.
I worry in time
you'll get sick
            of my constant shortcomings.

But if I give up
    run like I've done
what's the cost?
I've lost
       you
for good this time.
      I'm at a c
                    r
                    o
                   ­ s
            roads
        
Is this love or
       agony?

Please just tell me.
Should I fight or flee?
Do you still want
        me?

The sun stole the daylight from her eyes
He blinded her to reality
Drove her to insanity

His brilliance was meant to protect
To heal to cure
To banish ills
To drive out demons that roamed the earth

The Sun in all his glory
Did that to her?

Blinded by his sheer magnificence
She stumbled in to darkness,
His was a light so bright
That it left her without sight

Is it so ? They mocked her!
Is it so, she asked herself
Can something that is meant to protect
Also take your life?
or drive you blind?

Who would believe her?
Who could she take her plea to?
They'd call her insane
And counter blame.

You are stupid! They'd say
To play with fire
To fly too close to the sun
Which fool did inspire?

So she went back into her cocoon
Her shelter, never to return, never to falter
She was scathed, her soul a cinder
Her heart a hole, her mind a blender.