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Nomkhumbulwa Aug 2018
How could you be so evil?
For there is no other way to describe
Your whole sense of being,
You are rotten inside.

Disgusting and disgraceful,
How can you be so cruel?
I hate you, everything about you,
Just like when you were at school.

There are no words to express
The evil you have inside,
The pain you are inflicting,
You’ve even caused suicide.

How can you do this?
To a society stretched at the seams?
You are a waste of time and money
And your dreams – are they really dreams?

How can you be trusted?
For you are diagnosed a liar;
You are not welcome in society
Nobody welcomes a liar.

What if none of it happened?
What if it wasn't true?
What if you made up the ****?
The only criminal here is you.

You have hurt so many people,
Your family and so many more,
You deserve all the punishment given
For your actions they simply deplore

What if the nightmares aren't real?
The fear and panic all fake?
What if none of it happened?
How much of a mess could you make?

You are a disgusting creature,
I hate, I despise, I deplore;
It is categorically impossible
To forget or try to ignore.

You are a black mark on society,
You do not belong in this world,
You don't deserve any friends,
You deserve no place in this world.

Where do your memories come from?
Why do you invent ones not real?
Do you not have any empathy
For how people really feel?

You are hated by all and everyone,
Yourself included if not more;
Nobody wants to know you,
You stay right behind that door.

Don't you dare show your face,
For you are not welcome;
Stay away from everyone,
You will only do them more harm.

You have a sick mind, how could you?
How could you cause so much distress?
Your spitefulness has shown no limits,
And you couldn't care any less.

You are a diagnosed a liar,
A deceitful, sadistic disgrace,
Nobody is ever going to believe you,
Such liars should not show their face.

There is no help for evil like you,
Services are there to help others;
Not to be wasted and drained and abused,
And how can you keep blaming your mother?

They do not have time for your fake memories,
Your fake life events and horrors;
There are people dying every single day
Nobody cares of your night terrors.

You need to sit in a hole and stay there,
For the safety of everyone else,
Just stay there, do not come out,
For we must protect everyone else.

Nobody is here to beat you,
So you must do it yourself,
Keep cutting and bleeding and bleeding,
Cut deeper to forget yourself.

Watch the blood as it runs
Keep cutting, don't let it stop,
This blade will pierce your evil soul,
Its painful, don't let it stop.

I am going to keep punishing you,
More and more and more...
This blade will pierce your body,
As you lie in a heap on the floor.

For there is no other way out,
You MUST feel this pain,
For this is for what you have done to others,
Over and over again.  

This is all you deserve,
Feel the blade pierce your skin and then bleed;
For your blood is the source of your evil,
The evil on which you make others feed.

This pain will last forever,
I will never be done with you,
I just want to keep making you hurt –
Until you know what is true.

Now cut.....
All I can say is I am so sorry for the graphic nature...
b Aug 2018
i will spend the week
in hourglass torture.
listening to seconds
go bye.
i cant save them
they live as quickly
as they die.

there is no tragedy
in seconds.
no funeral procession
for time lost.
just memories and
blank space.
the bitter blade
of nostalgia just
sharp enough to
pierce weak skin.

there is no excuse
for lost time.
just a .44 pointed
straight at a mirror.
one victim.
one criminal.
i am as guilty
as i am innocent.
so i am really nothing.

just a quarter
in a crisis.

the king of
neglect.
Amanda Kay Burke Jul 2018
If I could remove
Knives you put in my back I'd
Still leave you unharmed
Forgiveness is taking the knife out of your own back and not using it on someone else no matter how bad they hurt you.
Sunflower Jun 2018
The first time you put the blade
To your beautifully clean unscarred skin
You'll be too sad to feel the pain
Like your mental pain will outweigh the physical
You'll bleed
But all you'll feel is a wave of calm
Then you'll go to sleep
On a tear-soaked pillow and blood-soaked bed
The next day at school
You'll get the
‘are you okay?’
And you'll repeat
‘I'm fine.’
But when you get home
You'll mark your now
Beautifully marked and scarred skin again
But this time you'll feel nothing
And wont be satisfied until
You're covered in crimson red ink
Please stay strong no matter what the issue.
jai Jun 2018
you can’t tell me that i don’t hate myself
when i’m upset and the only image in my mind is that of hurting myself
when the constant thought running through my head is me dragging a razor blade over every surface of my body
i feel as though peace will come once i’m covered in a thick dark sticky layer of red
i get intense flashes of self hate
for no reason
anything triggers it honestly
There is no point in living this life unless you find someone or something to love. A person who you would want to spend the rest of your life with or an occupation that you are passionate about.

Ironically, the famous song of Bon Jovi is also true --- too much love will **** you. But maybe, this should be seen from a love recipient's perspective.

We all want to feel loved. Especially when everything else hates you --- like Math, music, or your very own biological family who you live with under one small **** roof --- finding love is really just a lucky event. However, it will soon overwhelm you.

You would think that you do not deserve the joy and happiness that you feel when you are with this person. Soon, you will think that he is too good for you. You might also think, "Why would he even want to spend more time with me when I am such a mentally unstable, emotionally broken, and pitifully toxic *****?"

Be careful what you wish for. One might not be ready to receive the love that is being given to us. It feels as if it's ******* life and love from this dearest person and you have nothing to give. This person is so full of love and you are full of filth (well, at least you are not nothing). And it feels you with guilt that you can never make the person feel the same. Soon, you would think that he would walk away --- the best person with the kindest heart, the best love of your life, the ******* best --- because you have ****** and licked clean his jar of love and you gave nothing in return. Funny thing is that you don't even ask for him to love you. He just does. And that becomes more painful than ever.

Having that thought in mind makes you just want to leave to prevent the heartache and the burn out which the love of your life will suffer from. But you do not have the strength to break up with him because that kind of blow would be too hard that you would painfully hurt him. It seems as if having him burned out is the better way to "break up" with him because at least you think that it would be his decision to leave. It gives you this sick comfort that he left and you have confirmed your filthy self-concept. You have confirmed how undeserving you are and proved that you are the worst person to be with him.

But, he still stays. He still stays despite all your filth being thrown at his clean self. You have shown most of your darkest thoughts and he still chooses to stay. And it hurts you more because it would now be too hard to break up with him and hurt him because now you care more and this person has become the person who is preventing you to quit life. He is a hindrance between your wrist and that small, sharp blade that will surely deliver what you think you deserve. You clearly still do not have the strength to let him go that quickly (sick selfish wimp).

Now, you are stuck with a dilemma and all you can do is cry your eyes out. It's the only cathartic way that will allow you live another day for him until the day he gives up. It seems chaotic now. Everything else is falling apart this one man stands in the midst --- all clean and smiling --- offering you a nicer future. You are not sure whether to take the hand or the blade.

But, tonight, you take the hand yet you keep the blade in your pocket. Now, you carry it around while you walk with him hand in hand. And now, you just made your situation almost impossible to solve.
"You're slowly killing me."
I whispered before you leave,
But you didn't hear.

Everything was just as it should be-
You and me,
A relationship full of glee.

***** little secrets,
Late night conversations,
Questions that come in randomly.

Everything was going well.
No fights, no lies.
No hurts, no broken promises.

But you failed to notice,
Time has been an issue,
You're too busy for me.

"Hey"
"Sorry I got busy, good night"
"Night"

Suddenly we seldom talk
You got tired.
I got tired.

You got tired of me,
I got tired of you,
But why are we still together?

Is it because we're scared of being alone?
Is it because all of our efforts will be put to waste?
Is it because we don't want to see each other with someone new?

Or is it just me?
I know I'm feeling a bit empty,
I know I'm too hard to handle.

Broken.
Sad.
Mad.

I think you're slowly killing me.
Everytime you forget to talk to me.
Everytime you let me wait alone.

You're slowly killing me.
I felt insecure.
I felt like I don't deserve you.

You're slowly but surely killing me.
And for I fact I know.
Soon it'll end.

I am emotionally unstable,
And you know.
But why can't you notice now?

I need you,
You're the reason why I'm still here,
But you're also the reason why I want to die.

"What are you talking about?"
You asked me as I said all those things.
Then you left.

Leaving me broken,
With a blade,
Alone.
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