I listened to Ed
Down a path I was led

A path of self destruction.

Oh no that won't work.
He's just a ****.

Time to get back on track.

Weight restored.
Mind is torn.

How can I possibly cope?

I can't go back
Down that dangerous path.

No matter what my mind says.

I will fight for recovery
Challenge my thoughts
Disobey those inclinations
Until that voice rots
It only tells me lies
I don't care about my size.
I want to be free
To truly be me.

There is a battle raging as we sit right now
An interior war with forces unseen
Heaven and Hell fight for control somehow
And by the blood of the Lamb I am redeemed
In this war for the heart of man
I am to fight, but I grow weary and I don’t think I can
But my commander believes and he gives me his strength
To press on and move forward to great lengths
He loves me and he has a plan a vision that I don’t see
That the war will be won and I will be free
In the war for the heart there is no greater goal
Than the very direction and life of my soul
The battlefield is everywhere and bodies lie all around
There is crying and mourning but it is without sound
I look out and see all the damage it has done
And on a fateful Friday the commander sent his only son
To turn the tide of this Holy war
A sacrifice so overwhelming it could not be ignored
When darkness seems so close
And I’m so heavy I cannot stand
A ray of light comes shining through
And he reaches out to take my hand
He bids me to get up and rise once more
I am given peace and rest and life is restored
I am not alone in this battle but surrounded by
A host of saints and angels and comrades sound the battle cry
I do not fight this war alone
But with strength beyond mere flesh and bone
Arm myself with the truth of Christ the rosary a shield
Wrapped in love and holy prayer I march onto the field
My mother watches over me leading me home
I cling to her for help I can’t do it on my own
Michael and the angels lead the charge and fight with holy fire
Endlessly they fight every day and through each night
And still by the commander’s hand they they never tire
In the battle for the heart we all must do our part
To live a life of purity and grace
And one day enter in to a perfect peaceful place
Still every morning the battle begins anew
In the war for the heart my hope and trust is in You

We may be on different boats,
However, we are on same ocean.
Each fighting battles,
Same battles
Different battles.

My battles?
It is my family!
It is my father,
The man I don't want to be.
It is my mother,
The woman I don't want to get acquainted with, save some things.
It is my siblings,
The person I want them to be.
It is myself,
The man I want and don't want to be.

It is my thoughts...

I try to fight "mine" battles,
I try to win my own wars.
Alas, how do I win this war when my thought is my enemies,
And my foes are my own self?

Simple isn't the same as easy.

Waiting isn't the same as staying
 awake
Hearing isn't the same as heeding
 commands
Walking isn't the same as staying
 dry
Shooting isn't the same as hitting
 your target
Advancing and isn't the same as dodging
 the bullets
Fighting isn't the same as killing
 men.

Simple isn't the same as easy.
Living isn't the same as living
 with your memories.
Dog, Easy, Fox;
an uneasy company of brothers.

I am afraid.

My inner demons are taking control like never before.

I feel how the darkness makes me rot from inside.

The stench from my walking corpse.

I am so afraid.

I feel how they're winning the last battle.

The person I was is dying, beyond saving.

There's no turning back, I'm a living dead.

I sit in the chair, gazing.
Was it stars? Was it the moon?
What was the sight that took my being away from the present?
It was not a vision, rather a feeling.
To escape
Escape can be easy but is not always the safest path.
A fork in the journey requires a decision.
One way is full of kindness,
The other of pain
What would you decide?
The kindness brings numbness with it
While the pain brings fear
Fear which is beyond your comprehension.
Fear which creates the pain
Pain so intense it is felt in every inch of the physical body.
So you choose kindness?
The kind type of numbness that is as beautiful as a drug
Yet as ugly as the comedown
Take a step back and watch it play out
No pain, no fear
However the emptiness is haunting
The sound distorted and lingering
The prompts to face the pain and fear become louder
Stronger
More persistent
Snap
The focus shifts back to reality
No more fading
Just now a reality which has a little more emptiness ingrained within it

Thou ***** a minute of adversity,
stumping on the rival with two eyes;
As if an innundation overwhelms the ground
As thou hush the gore splattered
Arid as the utopic vision of the crowds
Everyone has accepted death
Noone bears the sound of the knell:
Thou shall still be petrified by the dark!
Shall miss a moment of ironic cleft:
Where thou tackle on mundanity and self bereft
Condolences to whomever has passed:
Away from a madness that clenches a crowd of no tomorrow, without a promise of longevity,
For they have given in to a visionary of death.

You called me out so I came here to fight
Now I watch you turn to your left to your right
I didn't know we had come here to dance 
So I laugh out loud as I watch you prance

You raise your fists like you think I am a boxer
Didn't you know that I am more of a mobster 
You throw a punch I turn back with a grin
That means to me that it's time to begin 

A bee I am but butterfly nope I don't float
I am more of the style that I go for the throat 
I don't mind the pain it in fact makes me stronger 
So punch away it's your time you squander 

Punch after punch I stand waiting my turn 
Do you yet realise how harsh a lesson you'll learn
When I fight back you are in for a fright
Remember you were warned I've got one hell of a bite


© One man

the artists of words know
its 2a.m. when the words come retching out
after an hour of damp papers
they weren't supposed to come out
not today
no, you can't tell your friends
because only a poet knows
the ****** battle
you are fighting
inside your
head.