i had a set of rules once,
i don’t know if they still apply —
especially after breaking
a quite significant one tonight:
thing is, on the first date
you shouldn’t kiss anyone.

i don’t know why i’m bothered by it
when we specifically agreed
it wasn’t going to be one.

we got drunk on pálinka,
that tasted like cheap nail polish
as the day drifted into sleep,
watching mismatched friends
in their twenties
dancing in a garden,
barefoot, and dizzy,
writing silly poems
in each other's hoodies.

i kept thinking about that
horse we brought to life
the whole bus ride home.
wondering
if i really had been on the bus,
or taken a long walk.

i recognised our house,
but the way upstairs was tricky.
thinking it was mine,
i crashed into my housemate's door -
maybe not accidentally.
the more the blur fades,
the more it becomes clear,
i just thought he was cute.

so i folded myself into sleep
before the truth arrived
and made it all too real.

i told my friend,
it wasn’t like that.
we said — agreed —
this still wasn’t a date.

then you sat down
with a coffee,
making me forget
every careful phrase,
every non-confession
i’d whispered to my mind.

we wandered the city
until sundown,
as if we didn’t know
every corner of it.
and when the night
started to settle,
i offered you an out —
you had plans.
you just smiled,
waving them away.

neither of us knew
what we then began.

because i told my friend
it wasn’t like that.
but now i’m not sure
what i was trying to defend.

I desired you
Naked
Playfully tugged the towel
tucked around your waist
revealing to my hungry eyes
all of you
Too late I knew
at least for the briefest moment
annoyance crossed your face
I hope my eyes bespoke
the adoration in my heart
I hope you forgave that boundary crossed
I wanted to see you
Naked
I still do
Naked body
Naked soul
Every part of you
your naked whole
always I adore

My cheeks are rosy,
You're making me blush,
This flirty little game
Is a heavenly rush.

Everything feels lovely
When it’s all brand new,
Overthinking tomorrow?
I’m really trying not to.

So tell me I’m pretty again,
I’ll reward you with a smile,
Maybe we won’t get married,
But I could enjoy this awhile.

You brush hair from my face,
Soft touch, sweet and shy,
Little moments like this
Are reasons I sigh.

Your laugh makes my chest ache,
It’s light, it’s carefree,
I tuck it away safely
As a secret just for me.

Dance with me in the street
While we're still young and free,
Whimsically fall in love
Until you start to resent me.

Her eyes—so magical, so beautiful,
her soul shines through.
No matter how, it just does:
a perfect human, with a glance
that claims.

She doesn’t take the stage—
she owns it, she lives it.
Every blink makes the world flicker—
a soft fire burning
without permission.

I can’t tell if I’m falling in love
or just living in awe of a being so perfect.
She’s sitting across from me,
and it’s unbearable—

the way her fingers trace the rim of her glass,
like it’s the most intimate thing in the room.
She shifts slightly, and so does the gravity in my chest.
I haven’t said anything.
Probably for the best.

Because my hands tremble beneath the table—
not from fear,
but from the ache of holding back everything I’d say
if I believed I deserved to be heard.

Her eyes—still rimmed in that inky black—
don’t glance, they lock.
She sees something—maybe me,
or maybe she’s just letting me believe it.

Her lips look like velvet left out in moonlight—
soft, secret, poetic.
Like every word she’d speak writes itself.
I reach for the strength to stay fated,
holding the silence like it’s sacred.

She doesn’t talk much.
She doesn’t need to.
Her silence hums louder than a crowded room,
and I’m starstruck by her presence.

Her laugh fills the room with a kind of passion—
too alive to ignore.
It makes me unravel.
And I’m not sure if I want to run
or lean closer
and ask her to say my name.

sometimes i wake
from a fever-dream
spent with a mystery being –
evaporating too quickly
to savour
leftover feelings,
and hidden benefits
of a midnight affair
with someone
that doesn't exist.

when the day
is half gone,
i'm still lovesick,
incapable of
stopping my mind
from hoping
there’s a button somewhere
to hit re-wind.

help me smother
these chaotic sparks
you’ve fed, fuelled
and let grow
whilst gasping for air,
my bleeding heart
submits quietly
to your soul.

This phrase, so often repeated as if it were a bluff
And I used to think these words were worn
But now I see that it can’t be said enough
Even if I repeated it since the day that I was born

I would move a mountain just for you to see me
I would crater this world as I start shrieking
How much I love the energy you bring
Every word I hear
Is like music to my ears

And as the ground crumbles below you
I would rip my own heart out if it meant that I could show you
That I would do anything to ensure that I could know you

You may never read this and perhaps it is our destiny
But that feeling in my heart, never to subside
I’d tear through fate itself
Just to call you mine

Take me back to the South?
I rubbed a puppy but you made it live,
I held your hand and ego as a ghost rode *****,
I tasted your mouth
Your deep addictive kisses were salty ripe with hidden tears, expectations and confessions of fears,
You pressed me for affirmation with one foot out the door,
My supposition acquiesced to passion
Then, you disappeared

Now you’re here
Pressing me,
Asking me what do I want?
I need consistency, presence, commitment, and time.

What do I feel?
What I feel is
Soul mate attraction,
Unconfined by silence,
Driven, diving, biding
Ineffable, inexplicable, unconstrainable
Uncontainable love and lust
Intertwined and unbound
How do you feel?

Do you have clarity?
For me, it’s taking its sweet time
Dragging and compartmentalizing
The inner unraveling of the unforgiven knot of the unacknowledged
The unpolished
And unabolished.

What do I want?
Excuse me as I try to unpack the dusty boxes,
On my neglected shelves.
I’m not a stranger to love or lust,
But, I’m not a friend either.
I’m not an enchantress,
No siren here my friend.
Nor, am I an open book,
My closest companions are the choir of thoughts,
Who sing songs of loyalty, doubts and declarations,
I’ve wandered but
I want a true partner to walk hand in hand the path of a life mundane,
Stealing moments of hungry happiness, exquisite.

You break down my defenses
Despite all logic and suppression,
Fingers press into mind’s flesh,
Nails rake down your neck.
My heart pounds and my mouth rounds,
Warm wet worship,
Down the base of your inspiring ****.
Your groaning and growing elicit my complete attention,
And, focus my irreverent intentions
To unraveling the bead formed on the cusp of your tip,
Your palms trace the strands of my hair,
Your pleasure drives sated completion
Is it plans or preoccupations of hands?
Are you practicing yet?

For now, as you lament love lost
I’ll sit quasi patient,
Outwardly immobile and facetiously engaged
Damp wanting but waiting,
Quietly watching the two flames in my candle
As they melt and burn the wax around its’ wicks,
Hot but constrained
Destructive but contained.

I’ll be externally reverent for the life carefully molded,
Grateful for familial serenity
But, ever mindful of the calling,
Forged by sound, touch and taste
To an internal dereliction sung by our blue flame.