blood rushes under my skin
as you leave me in a panic
my eyes blur at the sight of you leaving me
alone, again
stuck in this heat.
I could do without the teasing
but I see it has no meaning

It is familiar but new
like visiting an old park
where you are my new swing
and I am sitting where I always sit
wrapped around another finger

but even at this desk we are too close together
you say little and I fear I say too much
you study stats as I study the way you sigh,
how you look away when you talk,
and how tired you look right now.

I will stay because  
I feel something strange when we embrace
These funny feelings
I chase them down and try to label
but all I can do it stare
and wonder.

In my world
Your absence is an offensive crime
As my heart is under arrest
And only your presence can bail me out

Lost and lonely I drift

Wandering through hazy days

Looking for the chubby little fingers

That used to tug me around with laughter

Attachment tear you from inside,
Leaves your heart nowhere to hide.
Introverted, deeply twisted within,
Lonely yet fine, a world kept thin.

Used by people, trusted in vain,
Sadness flows, but not like pain.
Loneliness, a silent, constant friend,
Attachment breaks what time won’t mend.

It cuts you deep, it takes so long,
To heal, to move, to feel strong.
One person can turn your world to gray,
Their absence, a shadow that won’t stray.

You think of them, though they don’t care,
Their indifference more than you can bear.
Trying and trying, you seek to let go,
Yet thoughts of them forever flow.

Why obsess when the future’s bleak?
Their apathy shows the truth you seek.
I wish to be cold, unfeeling, free,
Yet attachment keeps imprisoning me.

Yet in this pain, a truth I find,
To love myself, to clear my mind.
Attachment tears you from inside,
But healing mends what’s pushed aside.

I'm happy on green grass and blue sky above me, peace.
Remembering the day I cried, to day I crawled, day I walked it's all imagination.
Imagination is option when I know I did it but I can't remember but my attachments remember.
Every phase has attachment which is unbothered and undefined yet there.
When sky above me tells how free it is and grass below me tells me how lively it is, I understood it not just me but people around me makes me what I am.
The simple smile to heartfelt cry
To be cautious yet cheerful
Clumsiness and acceptance coming handy.
It's all attachments around me giving me.
I'm alone yet the memories starts the talk.
Someday the attachments may get to rigid.
To be ready for, that feeling is also important.
To confine the self-respect above all and everything even if it's special attachment.
So, the attachments are below me and self-respect is sky high.

Seeing something so nice
Finally, I’m not meeting something as cold as ice
I feel like I can finally breathe
Without having to seethe
The feeling so warm and nice
It feels so great
As if I were eight
Being treated decently as if I were a human and not a alien
Finally getting asked “How have you been?”
As if I am a human with decency
As if I weren’t a simple flea
As if I weren’t a pest
As if I were the best

Peacefully explaining things I don’t understand
Explaining things that I thought I couldn’t comprehend
Accepting my clingy nature
Never thinking that it’s something major
Waiting for you everyday to text me
I’m a bit too scared to ignite a conversation, you see?
Letting me hold your hands every chance I get
You’re as perfect as a complete tea cup set
You don’t like physical affection
Yet, you let me display all my physical affection
Onto you
You let me do whatever I want to do
To you (with some boundaries of course)
I will protect you, no matter the price
Rolling the dice
And hoping for the high
I will try

You always manage to make me break out in laughter when we talk
Whenever we walk
Everything may look like obsession
But I simply just want your undivided attention!
That’s one of the consequences you may have to face when you’re really nice to me

Breaks come along
The wait seems so long
Until I can see your pretty face again
But I’ll have to wait until then…