My heart weeps at the thought of sunshine.
While April creeps around,
my soul begins to thaw,
for rays of light cause the frozen to abate.  

This winter I thought you were my only sunshine,
But it turns out,
You weren't.

antlers
fourteen points
cernunnos stirs
while the daffodils
reach their thirties
orderly routines
-
stones start skipping
replete potholes, puddle-filled
paving the way
capsizing axles
-
sipping steam from fog clouds low-hanging
not really minding that my shirt is wet from the concrete

June will kiss you and tell you that you’re beautiful,
July will ******* senseless and leave you with a bleeding heart,
August will try to put your broken pieces back together only to get cut and leave you still broken,
September will bruise you and ask you why you’re still crying on the floor,
January  will snap  you in half and  later kiss your scars but only ends up cutting you deeper,
February will be an ocean of self destruction, washing over you and gently cradling you in it’s arms,
March is broken records all over your apartment floor and driving to the liquor store at 4 am,
April is blood in the sink, crying yourself to sleep, shaky hands and breaking down every time you hear his name,
May is a storm forming in your eyes when you realize that you need to save yourself and when you stopped loving yourself, they stopped loving you too, when they tell you that wounds will heal, you know that you’re never going to forget.
All you wanted was to hear the words ‘i’m never going to leave you’

I don't want to be your hero, nor your ******
Because they provide instantaneous relief but neither are free
The cost, your life, surrendered to addiction
And hero's are a work of fiction
And I want you to love me with no dependency
With out missed calls leading to withdrawals
9.2million are addicted to ******
And I want only you to be free from addiction and love me
Do me a favor and don't make me just be your savior
You're disillusioned into thinking I'm Jesus
When I just satisfy your companionship lust
You say I make you feel better
But when I'm not around
It seems I make things worse
You say I don't of course
To trick me to stay
But you love me in a completely different way
You need to fix yourself from the source
Because I'm worn so thin
And all your healing
has to come
from within

They say every man is created equal but I say they're full of ****
because
If they were I could replace you easily.
If they were you wouldn't take up a majority of my thoughts
Or maybe they were and I just value you more than you're worth.

The worst kind of suffering is the kind that is silent
Where you're left wondering where your voice went
Did it retreat?
Your words and their ears will never meet
Like a curse
You can't scream out for a nurse
And you can't ask if it'll keep getting worse
The water. Your lungs it'll immerse
The only communication is on your face and called remorse
It never ends
It never mends
You just give it an inner home
and accommodate for it to stay

Colt 45
Magnum 45
Dead at 45

My hand longs for your touch
I just want to cuddle, I don't ask for much
With you, I'd never kick or punch
Just know that I love you a bunch
And for you I care
I wouldn't think of being with some one else, even on a dare
But into your eyes I just want to stare
Being without you I can't bare
It just isn't fair
How in her bed is her, but I can't sleep thur
You make me happy like how yarn makes a cat purr
It's impossible not to fall for your allure
Sick without a cure,
But it's nice
Like sugar & spice
How you're cute as a bunch of baby mice
Eating little pieces of rice
Let me give myself some advice,
And that is to hold onto you
For you're the cat to my meow and I'm the cow to your moo
And the day I let you go, forever I will rue
Because without you I'm nothing
A heart is just something
That pumps out your blood, but with you it's more like thud, thud, thud
Without you I'm a car trapped in mud
And grime
Stealing your heart would be the perfect crime
But around you I lose my breath like a mime
And your personality is hot as currey thyme
I'm in no hurry this time
Because I can wait without worry that prime time won't attract you you'll stay humble
And without you it's a daily struggle
For you're as cute as a lady buggle
And hopefully after this, next time I see you we can maybe snuggle?
on a final note, when we get back together I'll quit liquor and pills since you're my natural high
And to you I'll never tell a lie
if I didn't have you and I tried that I wouldn't be able to get by
As I hope you couldn't if you had another guy
When I hear your voice I smile and say hi
Even if it's just on the phone
Just hearing your voice puts me on a throne
And I melt like I didn't have a single bone
You can have my heart forever, it doesn't have to be a loan
You keep me grounded to Earth like a stone
But you keep me out of this world like a space rova
Because you're a supernova
And  I just wanna hold ya
I love you, I already told ya
And you already stole the Show
thank God I got to sit in the front row
You're so graceful like you're a pro
And I want our relationship to grow
Well I guess it will, but it's going so slow
But I again, I can wait.

Where dark and devastated loners,
Eat black painted noodles.

Sorry sad singles,
Lonely people!

Who dream of dark things, nightshade and purple;

Dressed in black,
Black nail polish,
Black accessories, black shoes.

Marking the time, but no looking back;

Drowning sorrows,
With little green bottles,
Never love a tear.
Kiss seldom, like a cold rainy holiday,

The small girl nowhere views the black dressed drunk in the mirror.

Missing love on this blackest of days...  


© 2014 Ronald J Chapman All Rights Reserved.