the noodles
sit in the warm,
steamy water
they've turned
soft and mushy

left in too long
why? well,
you see,
this person who
wanted to eat them

suddenly had an
intrusive thought;
this caused this person
to get anxious
about eating

so the noodles
were abandoned
in the starchy water
left there
to drown

A luxurious oil lamp
An antique beautiful piece
Made up of glass, gold, and silver
Enlightens my path at moonless nights.

It accompanies me at every journey
Provides guidance at my darkest nights
I would choose my trusty lamp any day
Over modern that is young but fragile.

So I polish it every day,
It might be aged but it is truly bright
Sadly, I need to accept the fact.
That one day, it will ran out of light.

Such thing cannot be replaced
It can't always accompany me
The day will come in my life
I'll need to navigate without any guide.

Certainly, I will never forget
How it kept the demons at bay.
There is nothing I can ever compare
To the best thing I ever had.

It really pains me to the core
I can never have another one.
I cherish it more than my very breathe.
Because its alone in my existence.

It’s always a battle with you
I try to stand up, and you’re always there to kick me down again
You beat me down and I just lie there and take it
A right swing to my body image, an uppercut to my confidence

I’m never allowed to be happy
And God forbid I feel beautiful for once
You make me out to be this obnoxious person that nobody can stand
But I don’t see you with any friends, and no one’s coming to your defense

You tell me that I annoy all my friends and they’ll all betray me
Yet you never fail to be first in line for taking a swing at me
Always whispering in my ear and telling me that nobody has ever really liked me
But you have always been the first to bash me for being who I am

Maybe I’m really not all that bad
Maybe I’m really ******* fantastic
And maybe you’re just scared that I’ll figure it out and you’ll be forgotten
Because you’re nothing but an irrelevant voice constantly fighting to keep itself heard

You are the voice of my anxiety
You exist because I do
And without me, you are nothing
But without you, I can be happy

I am all you have
I give your voice life and I give it meaning
You are nothing but what I allow you to be
You say I’m nothing, but you are nothing without me

Mother is not home
She is more than two hours late
Mum is never home.

My arm is healed now.
Thats a good thing right?
There are no more angry red lines
There is no more itching
There aren't even traces of the scars.
I can wear short sleeves again.  

I swore it was a one time thing.
"Never again, you have my word",
I promised to the loved ones i had shown.

So why do i feel like
I want to paint my skin in red stripes once more?

I feel lonely often.
I feel like the tide pulling back,
on every single day,
that I don't get
a minute to myself.
I feel like the white rabbit,
the clock is always ticking
and my heart beats fast
tap
tap
tap
to the rhythm of aging.
The breathing of the anxious beast
holds me close to it's lungs
like chains on a captive.

“AHHHH!”
It softly responds, “No need to yell.”