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Petrichor Apr 2020
I am not meant for this world
The most striking insight i ever had
I am not capable of living
Not to insinuate i do not want to
WRONG - I crave it so dearly it hurts
But ordinary tasks overwhelm me
Other humans compute differently
Tending to my own needs does not come easily
And in the end of the day
I perch underneath the sequoia in my garden
Watch my silhouette fade in the diminishing light
And cry
Tears of sorrow
This might not be very poetic,rather thoughts I have regularly.Maybe you can identify with my feelings,anyway thank u for reading.
Overflowing tears fill her eyes,
as doubt fills inside her mind.
She is overwhelmed and confused,
she is exhausted and tired of being bruised.
However, one things for sure.
She will no longer let her demons get the best of her.
She will no longer stand for a life full of misery and torment.
For she’s now had a taste of pure freedom and forgiveness.
As she is now following her dreams.
Everything is falling into place,
and once again;
she does not want to lose how beautiful her life has become.
No one Apr 2020
We've all heard of the story

a young boy and a young girl

falling in love in autumn.

The leaves falling as they twirl.



But we didn't hear the story

of the same boy who would go out every night

to the parties and pick on the boy he liked

because instead of admitting his fear, he'd rather pick a fight.



We've all heard the story

of the two girls who are best friends,

the two that never stop holding hands.

The two that always share their paper and pens.



We don't hear the story

of the two best friends who are in love, but afraid of that kind of thing

because they don't understand why they feel that way

so instead of talking about it, they have inside jokes and sing.



We've all heard the story

of the girl with too many friends and a big smile

The one who loved her body and was kind

The girl who always followed the latest trend and style.



We don't hear the story

of the boy who fights the battle of a mental disorder

The one that is filled with obsession, numbers; the one

that is too thin, but it's the only way to feel like his life is in order.



We've all heard the story

of the kid who was left out 

who was picked on for being a nerd

but who grew up to be successful, despite people's doubt.



We don't hear the story

of a young girl who got picked on one too many times

who was called a ****, an attention seeker. So she gave up,

but when she killed herself everyone blamed it on her "crimes."



We've all heard the story

of magical prom nights, and joyful graduation

and all the successful teenagers 

who after high school, had this revelation.



We don't hear the story

of the boy whose family can't afford college

the one who is stuck with 12 hour shifts everyday

who is called a *****-up, even though he longs for knowledge.
So make it known.
Eleanor Apr 2020
"Even today, I have a lot of trouble figuring out if I’m hungry or not. I often can’t tell until I’m starving. I don’t trust those little inklings of hunger I have before the starving stage, since anything outside of mealtime is supposed to be quelled by a ******* piece of fruit.

Over time, [I was taught] that I should decide what to eat with my brain, not my stomach. So eventually, my stomach just gave up."
Read full article at: https://everydayfeminism.com/2016/09/parents-taught-disordered-eating/
OJ Mar 2020
It started one night at a sleepover
My friend called her friend and he took interest in me immediately

A guy interested in me!
I couldn't believe it

It started off nice
Discussion on anime and memes

November 30th 2017
I was at a film festival for a short film I made

He kept calling me
Saying it was unacceptable that I not respond immediately

It's stupid now
But not then

We started dating
A few bags of chips later

I was suddenly fat
But I wasn't

He demanded at least 3 pictures every day
I was scared

So I sent them

I was 13 I didn't know better
But he did

He was 15 and smarter than me
And he knew that

2 years

Of this on repeat

And I finally broke free
Ellie Grace Mar 2020
The hopelessness
                 the sadness
is a weight that became to heavy for me to carry

So I was forced to shed
                           my own substance
                                        to make room
Asominate Mar 2020
Looking at your body
I catch feels
It must be so nice
To feel real
“I’m beautiful just as I am”
You figure
Telling me things like these
Get me triggered

Setting goals for myself
In front of the mirror
Seeing my reflection
Checking out my figure
Under 110lbs
Yes to less, no to bigger
Remembering things like these
Always get me triggered
Anorexia.
I lie here awake at night.
Thinking.
Dreaming.
Believing.

I will never be the same person I once was.
But I can only hope, that I will become the person I want to be.
The person I’m meant to be.
For I have escaped.

And what’s that you ask?
What have I escaped?
You will only know through the truths I’ve encountered.
For I, will no longer give in.

I fear lies.
entitlements,
and envy.

For I don’t want to mistake your promises for prophecies that will never exist.
You destroyed me.
Your destruction compelled me into believing that there was better.
And that the pain would end.
But it didn’t.
It grew stronger.
And so, I grew stronger too.

But I did from you.
I ran so fast, that I no longer allowed your lies to fool me.
You couldn’t keep up.
And you kept trying to take me away from everything I built.
From the new person I became.
And the new bond I had created within myself.

But it hurt at the same time.
And it wasn’t easy to destroy the walls I had built around everyone else.
For you were the only one I let in for months on end.

And eventually, they came tumbling down.
Because I had so much fight in me, that I believed I could escape you.

And for a minute, just a moment, I second guessed everything.
But I knew it was you drowning me, because you swallowed me whole.
For years.
And this was my year to thrive.
All my own
Ella Grace Mar 2020
Why aren’t your bones showing?
I don’t see a gap between your thighs
You shouldn’t wear that top
That shirt isn't flattering

Calories, calories, calories
Better start watching them
I think you’ve gained a few
Do your clothes even fit you?

Push past your limits
Watching what you eat is a good thing
Its fine to skip a meal
…Or two

What do I want to look like?
Well, I want my ribs to start showing
My thighs to start thinning
and don’t even get me started on my double chin

I hate myself
I hate my body
I just want to look like her
Why do I have to look like this?

Look in the mirror and tell me what you see
Be careful about the food you eat
Cover your body, nobody wants to see that
Just be skinny!
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