I ran away
To better days

     Don’t stop singing for me

So far away
And almost gone

     Don’t stop dreaming

I ran away
To seek better days

     Keep me in mind and on your heart

I hope you’re sorry
For turning things around

     Don’t stop thinking of me

Maybe someday
I’ll come back around

     Don’t stop fighting through

Maybe I’ll come home to your sweet sound
And I hope you’re listening for sweeter sounds

The price to be paid for seeking residual gain
Is the lost ones never come back the same

I ran away
And I got lost and hurt

     Don’t stop

The problem is you want a sensation
You're searching for sensations like they're the only reason to be alive
You need to lift your head up to something that is greater than you can imagine
You choose to wonder about a mystery that you will never solve rather than cherishing the mystery that is inside you

I don't have the power anymore to hope
Everyday i'm hoping that you're going to understand that i can be your sensation
I am a mermaid that was sent to guard you for the rest of your life and everyone can't help it but listen to my songs except you
I can't look you in the eye anymore while knowing that you're throwing away the greatest gift you ever received

Someday you're going to realize that a sensation is nothing but the shadow of a door crack
You're going to turn around and expect me to be more than that
but your mind has already turned me into something that you can use to outrun your fear of being alone

These are some of my
Almost-midnight thoughts,
Lurking under dimly-lit surroundings,
Trailing behind as if shadows.

These are the thoughts
That resurface from the pitch-black bottom,
Much like how bubbles make their way
Up to the sea from the depths of the oceanfloor.

These are the thoughts,
The ones I've been struggling to put down,
Much like a crazy person flailing about
While the doctors and nurses try to restrain him.

Almost.
I almost ended it.
Almost.
But then again, here I am.

Trying to make things work.

i tilt the glass so
the water creeps to the edge
of the glass rim

I count my I love you’s in the stars I see in the night sky
In my hometown on a clear winter night
Not in the city
You’ve only heard the bright ones, the ones that light up the sky, the ones that people have names for, that they build stories around
(It’s a shame that they’re all just stories now)
But I like the soft ones, dimmer but no less beautiful
The I love you’s you can hear on the breeze as you wrap your arm around me when we’re hiking
(It makes it hard to walk but I don’t push away too fast)
The I love you’s that were shot across dining rooms full of people
(I’m sure I had it written all over my face)
The I love you’s in white wine close to grape juice
(Even though I know that’s not what you prefer)
The I love you’s in every almost we could’ve had, the ones I never got the chance to say that I whisper to myself still
(In the shower, on my walks home, as I fall asleep)
Count them
I know you see them too
I love you

“Stay.”

She wasn’t able to give any response. She remained silent and he started to move his hand to hold hers while the other one was holding the steering wheel.

“Stay, will you?”

She smiled widely as she let out a soft giggle. All he did was asking her to stay but it was pain that she felt. That was the only thing he asked and she did not think he’d understand a thing.

                                                       I can’t.

“Don’t go anywhere, stay.”

He did not understand anything. His hand stayed there, holding hers tight. She looked away as she slowly took a deep breath. That night, she knew exactly the meaning of ‘temporary’.

                 I can’t. With your hand on mine, like this, I can’t.

“Please stay. Because with you, it is enough. This is enough.”

This is enough. You are enough. She could’ve said yes to that but she hated the idea of hurting someone else, and no matter how much she wanted to stay, no matter how much she cared for him, she knew it wasn’t right.
                                                 But I have to go.

                                         Because I am temporary,

                                       and she is your permanent.

I hibernated for almost 4 days
Stressed to a breakdown
Reminders of what people want
Money lost
What a taunt
Defeat and anger
you wish to show your weakness
Curling into a ball
Dreams flow
Of what you want and miss in your life
You feel as if you lost
the battle of succeeding in your life
Bleeding from the cuts of debt and your artistic words remaining uncounted
Hemorrhaging  to the almost death of your talents was your cost
You try to resurrect your skills and expression to the world
these "bloodsucker" leaches hit you once, again
The fight that's left inside of you
is all that's left to keep this life source from dying out
Now, I'll give back to you what you gave
I refuse to let my love of expression be buried in any grave.

After seconds of cranium rehearsal,
I think I know how I will say what I want,
Until it happens far from how I planned to say it.
****, it sounded so much better in my head.