The sun rose out among verdant still hills.
High peaks, forests and earth stole their eyes away from this charade.
Strands of light refuse to illuminate me.
As the the play proceeds with divine authority.

Each bird is standing on its feet and spreading its wings.
Tigers brandish guns at their young, unaware of the anguish hungrily stalking behind.
And the men with hearts of black gold walk away with their heads down.
As we are all eaten away by ignorance.

The hands of fate stitch together a torn garment of time.
Embroidering its history of suffering.
But the answer to your questions won't be found in gods clothes.
There's a lot more suffocating water in this ocean than treasure.

But your heart withstood the weight of it all.
And its callouses grew over their shadows left behind.
But when it beats, I can still hear the screams
Of your abandonment.

At my worst, you taught me
how to feel again,
brought me places I thought
had already ceased to exist,
now I miss them.
I miss them all the time.

Without my compass, my guide
all I have are these thoughts.
Eyes aimlessly searching for trails
in undergrown forests,
hopelessly lost.

You could have left me
the way you found me:

a screen door that only knows how to open,
a playground swing causing accidents,
a walking precaution,
a sink hole trying to grow a heart,
something inherently broken,
something with missing parts.

But, you didn't.

You mended the hinges,
you took down the warning signs,
grew an entire meadow of wildflowers—
you patched me up with your love.

My cup is brimming,
and I no longer know
where else to pour.

all the years of longing
all the tears and wronging
all your suffering girl
all your strength girl

you haven't been sure
it hasn't been easy:
dial his number and call him?
ignore your deepest fears

mom told you not to (not to!)
bro told you not to (not to!)
everybody said so (said so!)
you weren't listen (you weren't!)

he didn't pick up the phone
should you try it again?
you're a keen and focussed girl
so you did (so you did!)

a female's voice on the other line
"he ain't there now try again in..."
a man's voice in the background yelling
"no way to talk to your father, girl"

no surrender! never give up!
life is like push-ups feel me?
life is fighting nothing else feel me?
never give up! call him again!

finally you made it: he picked up
shivering sentences spoken
a long talk of fear and longing
he wouldn't ask you anything

dad made clear you're no daughter of his
he remained distant no smile no joy
you remain distant no smile no joy
you're no daughter of his (of his!)

I awoke to the crashing sound of thunder,
outside my window, I stared, placed with wonder.
The day was umbral and stormy, with no light in sight.
Cold sensations in the air, something didn’t feel right.
I searched the house, to find my Mom slumped on the floor.
She was crying and she swore that Dad left for that *****.
Emptiness filled me, and my eyes darkened with detest.
My “father” cleaved her heart beating from her chest.

When he left, he abducted something from me.
He robbed my sister’s opportunity at having a good father.
For that, I love him no longer
and hope that when he is dying no one bothers.
He robbed my mother’s peace and love
and left her doubting the realness of above.
I hate such a coward and wish that he could die a thousand deaths;
I pray that his existence would collapse as he loses his last breath.
He ruined our lives and set them in disarray,
fraying our world as soon as he left our driveway.
However, when he departed, he also replaced.
He left my mother with destabilizing depression,
he left my sister with a skepticism of man’s impression,
he left myself with a lack of self, with no exception.

For the one who takes, loses in turn.
For his life, I wish to burn and burn.