I just want to delicately cull my favorite blossoms from your mind
Until I've traveled the neural networks so,
That you might later allow my feral traipsing.
I just want to throw our backpacks in the backseat
And take a careless adventure
Wild. Jovial. Unbridled.
I just want to take you out from this fencing
To see you in new surroundings once more
To abandon labels, structure, and facades.
I just want to admire your strengths and your work
That you have shaped with your hands,
your will,
your individual cut.
I just want to take you out
To the open road
To see what you would shout,
how reckless you would be,
what abandon you could inspire in me.
I just want to do human things with you.
I want to enjoy pure moments of our nature.
I want to feel the Earth move with you.

I used to believe in an empty sunrise,
I used to believe I was what you wanted,
I used to believe we’d see the new dawn together,
Now I believe in choices taken, in lessons learnt.

I can’t shake this feeling,
I can’t stop wondering in what could have been,
I can’t stop wondering in what might yet be,
I’m trying to shape this new day by what could be again.

I write with wreakless abandon,
I write with no fears of secrets lost,
I write as my soul searches out for you still,
Hoping somehow some words might get through.

I must write about my saddest day ever!

The day you left me over and over!

I      
                  where has this happened before?
                    leave your shoes on at the door.

at the beginning
my lips were cold,
smothered down by an impending hold.
too scared to sing a song,
wouldn’t dream to sing along.
come dress up with me
take me outside
and dangle me over
your favorite waterfall.
i will drink from its rays
until they freeze up my pipes
and you fix them for me
without being asked.

                                                behind the sky
                                                 is your house
                         and you invite me every day

II

but i will never visit you
because you are not really here
and your soggy smile
gets me upset.
by coincidence we made a bet
that was intangible for you.
although i should confess, Father,
even before the time capsule
cell eroded to the surface
and laid the past out as a hostage.

                                         i never felt for you.
                                          i never liked you.
                                          i hate to admit it,
                                        i always lied to you.
                                        get away from you.
                                         get away from me.
                                           don’t come back
                                       until i can come back.
                                     i know it’s ******* you
                                  but it’s crushing me whole
                                 and now i’m blowing away
                                              and the holes
                                                   in the net
                                      are too big to catch me.

III

some days we can make it a game.
some days we microscope our pain.
wrap it up like bday presents
show it off like the pretty pheasants.

no that's a peacock
the boys are pretty
will i be pretty?

even though
it feels ******

i want to move somewhere woodsy
but i can’t go alone, oh
turn up the boom box
        so it drowns out the
SCREAM
                 ING

Flee the scene;
Mind, take cover - No!
We must abandon ship.

The battle is lost,
Cover will not save you now;
You must let go.

As the depths rust the ship,
Its living moments reorder and recast;
Transmute and alter.

Its iron-cast reality dissolves away;
It is no longer your ship,
It is no longer your memory.

Now you may float once more,
Undburdended, unhindered - unknowing,
Until the next screaming vessel

Meanders by...

i thought i caught you
and instead you caught me
but you're loosening your grip
and i'm slipping down
but i can't grab onto you
because you're purposely letting me go
and i can't tell you to bring me back
because you're not ready for me
and you'll never catch me again

you cannot
create
something

and then just
abandon
it

because
I will
not
walk a
one-way street

and if you think
planting kisses
on my
lips
will keep this alive

then you are
pathetic

because
I am
not
a love machine

that you
can fill up
with
spare change

just to
empty
your pockets