Ripped emotions grip tight
On a roller-coaster riding
Show you my ups and downs
Darker side not hiding

Sometimes drops are slight
When my disposition is sweet
But don't dare to push the wrong button
Or I'll have you flying out of your seat

Although I may appear normal
Never doubt what is underneath skin
Past my grinning surface chaos is clear
Throughout thoughts is perversity prowling within

Put me into a locked padded cell
To completely lose my mind
Uncontrollable mood swings are not what I choose
Sanity snaps leaving reality behind

Nearly 5 AM in the Morning...
and I hate the night, but love it's true colors of darkness within a light so surreal you can truly feel.

The moon gather's within the stars as company to shine you.
Sometimes the clouds will cover the moon, like a blanket as he lays his head to rest, that's why he's called the man on the moon, not for the person who claims to have walked it, but for the face engraved into the bright shadows and creviced surfaces surrounding the molded, circular not so perfect Moon.

Thank you Moon for keeping us company...
But why do I hate the night, because your time goes faster than day. When your lover is with you and it's time to say goodnight, those are the times I despite.

The beauty of the night, is very real and wish...sometimes...could be longer. The only moment where I get to feel free.
Now is time for me to try and sleep, only if I can..
some nights, my thoughts race like a mustang in the distance of a field of golden wheat grass.
So I come here, to vent out...to only read my poems back at myself.
I will try to sleep.
Goodnight.

I tell my friend that I’m a night owl
And by that, I mean, if given the choice, I would sleep at 5am only to wake promptly 8 hours later with the sun half past up
She asks me why
I tell her it’s quiet
The only life found at intersections are traffic lights changing from green to yellow to red to back to green
The sky does not house two winged visitors with propellers louder than my ceiling fan
The birds don’t sing their songs of judgment and jealousy for those who scream misguided lyrics
The sun doesn’t radiate with resentment as her light exposes what should never be seen
My phone is not begging to be checked every 5 minutes as if there is a new unwanted notification
No one demands anything of me, no one worries about me, and no one disappoints me
And as the sun and moon keep spinning, although my mind is spinning faster and louder than ever, at least everything else is quiet

You said you aren't tickly
It's all inside the mind
I took it as a challenge
But my heart quickly declined

You took my hand
And sapped my nerve
All at the same time
Invoking me
Imploring me
Our fingers intertwined

You've got me hook and sinker
But it's such a fragile line
Feel it snap
When I'm with you
I get a tickly state of mind

257 days.
For the first time,
I don't want to shower him off my skin.

No need to scrub;
Your lips leaving delicate traces,
Your hands entangled in my hair,

No need to rinse
Feeling you,
Sending shocks down my spine
Fingers brushing against skin
Electric impulses

No need to wash the memories of;
Bodies intwined
Kissing shoulders and sternums
(whatever has been left exposed)

Waking up suddenly, too early,
It is dark and only 5AM,
But I know that there is no hope,
Of drifting to sleep again.

Thinking keeps me from dreams,
Heaven in my mind,
Night drags on and on,
Without peace to find.

There is a space inside my head,
Where a filter should clearly be,
Instead I relive the hurt,
Remembering with alarming clarity.

I close aching eyes once more,
And wait for sleepy scenes to start,
No relief will come tonight,
To ease hunger of this heart.

5 am and my mind is running wild
Since a youth I've felt like a demon child
Never really understood how life worked
But I know pain and how bad it can hurt
11 hour days at my job
She mad at me because I get no days off
She's feels neglected
This is unexpected
I'm working to fix myself
But I keep her out when she wants to help
I remember 15 years old selling drugs
My past memories beginning to bug
But I can't seem to let them go
Where I'm going in life I just don't know
But I do know I'm not where I once was
Miles away but people I still don't trust
If I could I'd give you the world
Please just wait, I'll let you in, be my girl
I put up a front at the start
Because I was afraid to let you see my heart
I'm just trying to figure out who I am
I'm just trying to figure out where I stand
Because in this life you'll get lost
And people will forget you and you'll get tossed
I never had someone to believe in me
So I was blind to the different opportunities
But girl believe me you're the only one I see
**** these other girls, you're the one I want it to be
But tell me am I just convenient to you?
Am I just a toy for you?
What do you feel for me? I want to hear what's true
I feel like your just playing
But what you really feel you're not saying
And if you don't talk I'm not staying
Don't worry you won't see me crying
I'm losing my mind
I need some kind of sign
I know you're worth it
But I feel like we ain't workin