The ground?
The ground is gone. Im floating past sunsets and sunrises
Im floating through hellos and goodbyes
Im floating below the heavens
And just above the singe of hell's fires
I'm floating with my debts
I'm floating with my pains
I'm floating with my future and my past
I'm there
Suspended
The air is thin
My breaths are small
But just enough
And I see it all
I feel it all
But numb to consequence
I've kept my drive
I'll hold my loves
But I float amidst the cares
They graze my skin and float away
The ground?
The ground is gone and I feel its gone forever

Folded ripped and unfolded
You see the symmetry and its beautiful
But when you take a step closer you see the emptiness in the tears.
You see the valleys left behind in each crease of every fold
The rugged edges of the rip
Fingerprints left from a sweaty hold
Yes, upon closer inspection I am but the sum of my parts
And often all my parts appear to be disasters
And often they are
I trot around like a work of art
But few see what it took to get that way
How I was folded ripped and unfolded
Few can't see past what it took
They see the holes left in me but not the pretty shapes
And some see the shapes and I wish they'd acknowledge the holes
Still even fewer can comprehend the resulting work
And frankly, Sometimes I'm not sure I do
But I manage
A crippled work of art made beautiful by how neatly she was torn apart
I struggle to hold my new form in the wind and amongst viewers
Try to look like something relatable
And not like life spent too long on me
Worked till it got weary and persisted when really it should have rested its eyes
I try
To uphold my form as though every overworked corner and tear isn't centimeters away from destruction
As though the slightest snag or tug won't leave me hanging
Noticeably Deformed and mishapen
But I stretch and I retract with grace
Perhaps this is how I dance now
my life a pas de deux of trying to hold it all together
Just folded, ripped, and unfolded.

Ill go Stacey Dash on you
Blastin you
Actin like my daddy ain't black
Attackin You
With these alternative facts
Hate the "fake news"
So I can fool wypipo into havin ME on they team
Low self esteem has made me green with envy for the machine
There's no in between
I don't support you
I hate your black support groups
Why don't you just pull YOURself up
By YOUR bootstraps while I deport you
Cause I'll resort to a white face
And paint my own race
As lame
My claim to fame
Clueless
To the truth
I Maintain this
Self-hate
My lips stay lyin' through my tooths
I don't mind being their puppet
Long as they keep my noose loose

"As If" -Sharde' Fultz 3.2.17

Im not gon' write a poem about you.
Uh uh.
I'm not about to allow you to make me FEEL
And allow you to fill
Me up
In such a way that my subconscious has to throw you up and onto a page
Nope
I'm not about to write a poem for you
Nooo siree, you see I've made that mistake
Prior.

When I was young and silly and hopeful.

I went and bought a fancy pen
The kind that writes so smoothly and makes my cursive extra pretty, but you know it bleeds?

I thought the ink that dripped from MY pen once it soaked through
It would sort of seal  us in the paper
Like I said, I was mistaken so
No.

I'm not about to write a poem for you TOO

And just leave myself exposed?
I mean who knows
if I replace those little tiny "o"s for hearts over my "i"s when I dot em that soon you could care less
For the stress on my esteem after you're mean leaving the apples of my cheeks with salty tears streaming down them
So naw'l
I refuse to tell the world how you made me blush when your lips found them.
Or how we had so much in common
It was raining but we just kept walking
You made me laugh until I was coughin'
I ain't gonna do it
I've learned its better to not let you soften-

my heart

But instead I mold bricks
cause it seems noone wants to actually bring any GOOD to it.
Seems 9 times out of ten all they want to DO
Is to do IT
when all I want is you to put
my hand in yours and stare into my eyes and search my heart and not my thighs
I'm not gonna try

And make this something more than what is was.

Just because of what I felt the warm and fuzz of flirty words spoken over Patty melts?
It was nice.
But I dont think that warrant's you a poem.

Not an admonition of my humanness
Not another proclamation of my foolishness

for allowing myself to think,
dare  I say hope
that those two hours of my precious life were 2 not wasted?
And Not worth the energy for me to store the memory
in the best way made for me to preserve it?
A poem?
How am I supposed to know that you deserve it?

But how can I resist within that moment?

After reflectin' on my day I find my mind keeps
pressing replay
on those two hours in Ferndale
And how we talked until nightfell.
Forgot to feed the meter cause what is time?
Hell I was frozen by you, guy.
I digged my nose into your life and just kept goin.
  
You had the audacity to inquire about my dreams and all my passions
and what makes me get up outta bed every morning

So I HAD to ask you back

And I listened
And I enjoyed what you said
And as we parted ways I had to immediately LIE
and document it in my head
Under "non-important"

It was nice

But don't let yourself get excited

Felt like I was on cloud 9 but gotta hide it
Come off the high
Cause what if in the end it's unrequited?

and I'm upset with you
Regretting you
No.
HATING you for letting me feel slighted
Yeah you tried it.

I mean YOU didn't.

At least not yet...

I just don't wanna write another poem that I'll want to forget.

I decided I'm goin in.
Yall dun' slipped up and left me with a pen.
It seems lately I been under-drinkin'
Over-sober over-contemplating what's been really happening.

I'm usually a lot more subtle.

I give the benefit of the doubt like I'm a Catholic priest absolving ******' sins.
Confusing my honesty for reckless abandon-in
To your chagrin, just hecause you're unable to comprehend.

You don't move through this world in the shoes I'm in.

I bet no ones ever called you a sub-human.

Did that election make YOU question all your caucasian friends? Their motives, their thoughts, biases,
Lookin for Microaggressions?
Now those relationships are withered at the ends and it depends on larger hearts and open minds to try and mend and re-begin?
Because someone you love insulted ALL your kin.
Supporting someone who blatantly hates them.
Tunnel vision.Could only see what they wanted Sanctity of life only applies to babies aborted
Christians were thwarted!
How someone with a thumbs up from the Ku Klux have anything to do with what the Lord did?!

Granted, the deed is done and hey the truth is out!
They were wolves in sheep's clothes till the Pres. Came out
in broad daylight
He basically made it awright
to grossly generalize a race AND do so in plain sight
Now ALL the racist crazy folk are poppin  at the mouth.
On social media like the 50's in the segregated south,
Spewing hate behind a screename sittin' on they mama's couch
'cept we millenials are rowdy and we'll roll up at yo house.
How's it 2017 and we still schoolin' folk?
Gotta tell you Black  lives matter cause you actin like we dont.
In retrospect, it was for the best cause now we ALL woke!

HIStory So White  
I'm so sick and tired of hearing about HIStory and its butchery.
It's like every time I go online I'm clicking on what reveals another lie.
Another untold fact.
Another white-washed tale.
Another brother or sister's story to which they said, "What the hell, it's just another *****. Who they go'n tell?"
But that's not what they teach us "******" today
Or the rest of the world
And they smile in our face like its all okay.
History so white, man.
HIS story SO white!
But it simply doesn't add up when we all know this nation was built off the Black man's  plight.
By virtue of the blood sweat and tears we poured into this land we took what we were given and molded it into minds of business and healing and growth.
But HIStory wouldn't let you know.
They saw our creativity and ingenuity and either claimed it as their own
Or conveniently failed to mention us for so long
Not giving credit where it's due until you and your whole family's dead and gone
It's 2017 and we still don't know what REALLY went on.
So no, I can't trust this place.
Not with me and my people.
This U.S.of A. That's supposed to be breaking race
Boundaries
But it seems to me we take a step forward and two steps back
Why are our prisons filled to the rim with Blacks?
I wanna trust you, America. I really do.
But you aren't giving me much to work with.
I know there are worse places to be.
Honestly.
But I don't always feel like THIS place is for me.
Like, its not always also MY land of the free.
28 days of hollow black reverence doesn't do me much of a service
Besides a reminder of how much you deserted US and OUR histories.
Cause HIStory SO white.

Genetically. Modified. Organism.
We do a lot o'talkin
And a lotta ppl mad at that name.
But I got dipped in the water to proclaim,
Im a GMO.
The fall of man didnt hold the power to tie me down no mo
My descension simultaneously displayed the ascension of my soul
My eyes glow with the reflection of my heavenly father who transcended from ***** feet with blistered soles
Ive been genetically modified to not see the world as which we know
We're living in the fog worshipping the money that we grow
We dont follow the narrow road
We dont love ourselves no mo.
Spent too much time bein broke
Caught a break, bought a whip
Bought some jays, bought some rims
But gettin towed
Whole house repoed
Iced out, chrome.
gold.
Investments? zero
We need new heroes

Drank the lies that ***** whipped into our minds while we were bleedin on his ***
Breaking earth and pulling weeds
We gluin weaves like, dawg. Where my edges go?
Now you tryna train yo naps cause everybody goin au natural
But you STILL mad cause yo curl pattern dont show that 2 percent of Navajo.
Changed yo hair but didnt change yo thinkin tho
Too long that permed subconscious sinkin through yo follicles
Mother earth dun been pulled harder than those edges
Act like you got some self-respect, go outside and clip those hedges
But her roots dug up
The seeds we sew
Aint enough to feed the whole
The rich, THEY bite the hand that feeds
But their stomachs; still on swole?
People like to get online and fuss,
Stop the GMOs!
Following the likes and living in fear sgonna leave the po--
HUNGRY. ..and po
I mean, what is science, fo?!
With climate change, and the persistent depletion of arable land, where yo seed gone go?
How yo plants gone grow?
Hopefully that won't have to be the case but I get the feelin
Mama nature's feelinnn
So'...

Shoot, Seasons dont know which way to flow
Cause we're walkin down the street throwin trash all on her flo
Like we aint neva been to anybody house befo.
Fillin it up wit smoke blottin out the sunlight
Making her plants choke.
Now the clouds broke.
Cryin acid rain and now your drinkin waters soaked

Im not tryna throw shade.
Im not half as deep as the aformentioned might denote
I aint gon lie
I dont
STAY.

woke .
I dont do my research on every clever quote
That I post
Hey, Im the FIRST one to let you know that I dont know.
But when I DO know
Aaaand I know fasho
And I hear somebody like, yeah this and that and so and so...talkin OUTside they ear. HOLE?!
I be like,
bro...
smh




-*sorry, I'm sleepy and have not proofread