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Overwhelmed  Mar 2014
mantra
Overwhelmed Mar 2014
1 (alseep)

now tell me: how are you?
******

why is that?
I’m ******

how do you know this?
I can see myself
I am but a tower of ****
that walks like a man

how do you know this?
I can see

what other proof have you?
my life

what of it?
it has **** all over it

that says nothing about you
how so?

the bed is not a blanket
because the former
is smothered
in the latter.

there is no
choice.

but there is.

to be good enough.

then chose
become something new
one that is good enough for you

let’s begin,
repeat after me:

2 (dreams)

good enough
good enough
good enough
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3 (back to bed)**

now tell me,
how have you been
doing?

good enough

say it again
good enough

again
good enough

again
good enough

again!
good enough!

again!
good enough!

once more
good enough

and again
good enough!

again
good enough

I don’t believe you!
good enough!

you are a liar!
no!

you are here to cheat me!
no!

you are here to cheat yourself
no!

you said no lies! no tricks!
there are no lies! no tricks!

liar!
no!

so tell me again!
good enough!

again!
good enough!

AGAIN!
GOOD ENOUGH!

liar! you’re pathetic!
me? you’re pathetic!

how?
you lie!

how?
you told me this would help!

how does that make me a liar!
I still feel like ****!

ah! but do you?
what?

do you still hate yourself?
what?

do you feel worthless?
what?

do you feel like a waste?
what?

for you have just told me
three-hundred and seventy-eight times
that you are not
so how are you?

good enough?
good enough.

good, now again.
“You’re just not good enough.”
The voices said to me.

“You are so small,
And weak,
And sickly…
I wish I had a stronger son,
A taller boy,
Healthier and happier.
I wish I didn’t have to rush over to the hospital with you every other week…”

“Her boy is taller than you,
A handsome boy, a good boy!
You’re always asking so many questions…
I wish you were more like your friend,
He listens to his parents…
So please, be quiet.”

I have to wake up and go to school.

“You are so chubby,
So fat…
why can’t you be skinny
Like the other kids?”

“The teachers told me you don’t talk,
Not to the other kids,
Not to them,
Unless you have to,
Unless they grade you for it.

Your grades are so average,
That little girl is better than you…
I wish you were more like her.
She’s a good kid.
She talks a lot,
Has many friends
And grades of just one shape.
She’s best in class
And you’re just…
An embarrassment…
You’re just not good enough, my son.”

“You’re taller now,
And skinny…
Guess all the baby fat turn into height…
You’ve got some friends,
But they’re just the wrong kind…”

They like me more than she does.

“Your grades are better,
But you’re still sick and
Your friend’s strong and fast.
You look unremarkable
Compared to me…
must get that from your father…
I wish you’d be a handsome boy, and strong, and smart, and happy.
Why can’t you be happy?”

But how can I be happy?

“I like this boy,
Is he your friend?
He is so nice and handsome.
He is polite
And
Of a good family.
He is so charming!
He even has a girlfriend…
But you, my son, do not.
Because you’re never going to be good enough for anyone.”

He’s not my friend…
and he’s not nice.

“What do you mean he is a bully?
What do you mean he’s not your friend?
What do you mean he’s never nice, or polite to those of your age?
What do you mean?
He is an angel!
You’re just jealous because you’re ugly.
No one likes you, my son!
Of course he’s not your friend.
You are not good enough.”

I’m just not good enough.

“You’re older now.
You’re best in class.
You have good friends…
And that boy was not an angel.
He spat in the face of a teacher…
You should have never been his friend.
What do you mean you never was?
Of course he bullied you…
You’re not good enough to stand up to a bully.”

I’m such a pathetic boy!

“YOU stood up for a girl that what being bullied?
Out of all the kids in your class, YOU were the only one to speak up?
I don’t believe you.
You probably wanted to impress that girl…
To make her your girlfriend…
But you are not good enough for her.
You are just not good enough.”

Someone had to stand up for her…
No one else would, so I did it.
I wish someone would do the same for me…

“You’re almost a man now.
It’s time to think about the future,
About what you want to become…”

I know what I want to be.

”What do you mean you want to be a writer?
NO!
You’re going to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or an architect!
You need to be something useful.
A writer is just not good enough.”

“You have to start thinking about YOUR future.
You’re good with a pencil,
You studied art for so long…
I wanted you to be a musician,
A concert pianist…
But you’re just not good enough…”

“You need to start thinking about becoming an architect.
A writer just wouldn’t do!
I don’t care what you want.
Your plan is just not good enough.”

So I grew tall and somewhat fit.
I had good grades, among the best in class…
And I knew what I wanted to be
When I grew up.
I wanted to be far, far away from her…
And a writer.
But I’m still a child.
So I’m stuck…

“You’re just not good enough, son.”
She kept on saying.
“You’ll never be good enough, not to anyone.
No woman would want YOU!”

And for a time,
She was right.
No one wanted to be my girlfriend…
But I had many friends,
And that was nice.

I had one thing she didn’t,
Friends.

“They will leave you when you need them…
They will figure it out for themselves…
They will see that you’re not worth their time,
Not good enough.”

I have good grades,
I have good friends,
I have good manners
And I treat people well…
But,
I’m afraid my mother’s right…
I’m just not good enough to be alive.
So I decided to do what had to be done.

To end it all.

“What do you mean you walked through a blizzard all the way to the lake?”
The school psychologist asked me.
“What do you mean you wanted to end your life?
Why didn’t you?”

Could I tell her that the wind was so strong that I believed it to be sent by God?
Could I tell her that I was stopped myself from jumping into the frozen lake because of divine intervention?
Could I tell her my mother is abusive?
I can. I did.

“I’m sorry… but this isn’t good enough to have you removed from your mother’s care.
You’re still a child… and this isn’t bad enough… you stopped before you could hurt yourself… and she there are no clear signs of abuse… that’s good enough for me.”

If she wouldn’t believe me, maybe my father would…

“What do you mean your mother is abusing you?
Stop making things up!
She is a good woman,
A respected teacher at one of the best high schools in this city…
And she is your MOTHER!
Show some respect!
You’re not a good person if you talk this way about your mother.”

But I was telling him the truth.

“If you were good enough, she wouldn’t say these things to you.
Be better.”

But, what about the other thing?

“Don’t make things up about your mother. She would never do the other thing. You’re just upset because she doesn’t let you hang out with your vagabond friends anymore. She would never do that. No mother would do that. Stop lying.”

I’m not lying, dad.

“You’re terrible person for LYING like this. So stop it. I don’t EVER want to hear you say such filthy things about your mother ever again. She is a good woman. She was good enough for me the day I married her, she is good enough for me now. You… are just a bad boy and a liar.”

What would you know about what she is, dad? You’re never home… even when you are…

“Your dad is sailing on the African Coast again.
You are the man of the house now.
Get. Things. Done.”

As always, I got them done.
The cleaning.
The cooking.
The laundry.

It was good to keep myself busy.
It made me feel like I was good enough for this, at least.
Good enough to be ‘a modern day Cinderella’.

I wish my princess would come and save me…
But I’m not good enough for a princess.

“Your teachers tell me you are first in your class again this year…
Did you cheat?
I KNOW you’re not good enough!”

I did not cheat, mother.
I never cheat…
I’m not ‘good’ enough to cheat.
I’m good enough not to cheat.

“Then they must’ve given you good marks because of me,
Because they are my colleagues.
You’re definitely not good enough to achieve this on your own!”

I am good enough, mother.
I really am! (So **** it! You didn’t break me!)
“Wait until you get to the University.
They will not give you top marks there!
You’re not good enough!”

And she was right about that.
I wasn’t good enough for the University that I studied at.
I wasn’t good enough for my own mother… why would I be good enough for them…

“Told you! Told you you’re not good enough!”

I did get top grades when  the teacher frowned upon bribes and cheating.
I did get top grades when  the teacher didn’t sell grades for euros…
I did get top grades at three of my fifteen classes.
I was mediocre at the rest.

“If everyone is paying for good grades, then so should you!”
No, dad. I will not!
“But everyone else is doing it. This is Romania, for God’s sake!”
No, dad.
“I have the money. Just pay the teachers like everyone else.”
That’s not good enough for me, dad.

Why should I bribe the teacher to get a 10 when I get an 8 on my own?
“Because people that pay don’t need to write more than their name on that paper.”
My colleagues said.
“We all do it. It’s the way it is. Are you too good for this?”
I’m not too good for this… it’s just not right.
“If you’re too good for this, study abroad!”
I’m not good enough to study abroad.
“Then stop complaining!”

“What’s this garbage you’re writing?
Who would read this?
Why bother anyway? People don’t read!”

Thanks, aunty.

“You should be a banker, like my daughter…
Or a system’s analyst, like my son.
But you’re probably not smart enough…
You are your mother’s son…
She was a dreamer, just like you…
And she’s just a teacher…
Not like me. I’m a hard worker!”

Ok, aunty.

“When are you going to get married?
Or did she leave you already? Seen what a loser you are?”

I don’t know, uncle. When we feel like it, I guess.

“So she’s still with you?
That’s not going to last… you want to be a writer…
And that’s just not good enough!”

She actually likes the fact that I write…
She reads the things I write.
She doesn’t automatically assume that what I write isn’t good enough.

“Well, I don’t care much for reading…”

But you can decide that what I’m writing isn’t good enough… and that I’m a loser.
*******!

“You too need to get married now.”

We’ll get married when I can pay for my own wedding, dad.

“You’re not good enough to be able to pay for your own wedding!”

We’ll get married when I can pay for it myself… when we can pay for it ourselves.

“When’s that? When I’m dead? Your grandmother hasn’t got long, you know…”

Fine. We’ll get married in the summer.

“It’s not about the two of you, it’s about the family.”

The family I’m not good enough for?

“What a beautiful wedding! Who was the planner?”

We planned it ourselves.

“Well, we all loved it. It was wonderful!”

Thanks!
Did you hear that, mom? Everyone had a great time.
It wasn’t good enough for her.

“Your cousin’s wedding was so much better than your.
Her husband paid for all of it! Unlike you… your father had to pay for yours”
And that’s why I didn’t want to do it before I had an income, money to call my own…
That’s why WE wanted to get married when we could afford the wedding ourselves.

“No one forced you into it!”
Said my mother.
“I did. I forced them into it by saying my mother would die before she could see them wed.”
My dad NEVER said.

“This is just like that time when you made your father buy you an apartment so that you could live apart from me!”

I never asked him to do that, mom.
He said he bought the apartment because it was a ‘smart’ way to save money.
I asked him to turn you over to the police for trying to **** me, mom…
An apartment was the ‘next best thing’…
And telling me that I’m imagining it… and that I should forget about it…

“You must’ve dreamt it! Your mother wouldn’t do that. She’s a decent person.”

He called me a liar, a horrible person, and a little monster.
He said I should never speak of this to anyone…
So I had to bury it in my mind…
Deep down in the subconscious, where I would never, ever look.
I forced myself to forget.
I compartmentalized my own life story…

Too bad it came spewing out the moment I felt safe again.
Too bad it reached the surface of my mind when I was beginning to believe that I was good enough.

“You are good enough. You are great!”
My wife would say to me.
“Don’t let your mother, or your aunts and uncles bring you down with the lies they told you.
You are amazing,
And kind,
And a good person.
You are a great writer and a better husband.
And I’m not just saying that because I’m your wife.
You are awesome, mister!”

And I started to believe her…
Until the memory came back…
Until I remembered what it was like growing up…
Not being good enough,
Not being strong enough,
Not being brave enough…
To stop her from calling me worthless, stupid, fat…
To stop her from hitting me…

At least I was quick enough to prevent her from ****** me.
At least I was smart enough to open up Mumble and have an elderly brit ask me about my day as she put her hands on me and started to say things that made my stomach turn inside out…

“Your father left you the man of the house.
It’s your duty to take care of me…
And I don’t mean ‘do the laundry’ because I’m too busy…
I don’t mean ‘cook, clean and help your brother and sister with their homework’…
I mean for you to take care of me like your father would…
I have needs, you know… every woman has needs…”

We were home alone that evening.
My brother was sleeping over at a friend’s house,
My sister was still outside, playing in the park.
There was no one there to hear what you were saying to me.
No one to see you touch me like no mother should touch her son…
There was no one else there to stop you,
Until there was.

That Englishman’s booming voice made you realize we were not alone.
He asked me, in his deep bear-like baritone:
“Hey, Alex! How are you? Ready to raid with us tonight?”

“What’s that? Are they talking to you?”
She asked, after I replied.
“Can they hear you?”
They can.
“Can they understand you?”
Yes.
“Can they see you?”
They could, if I wanted to. I could just turn on the camera.
I’m going to play World of Warcraft now, mom.
Please, go away.

“I’m going to leave. I can’t talk to you if they are listening.”

To them, I was good enough.
To them, I mattered.
To them, I was important.
I was a DPS.
I was a guildie.

To them I am good enough…
To my wife I am good enough.
To my friends I am good enough.

To my family I’m not good enough…

But, what is family?
Is it not the people you are good enough to?
Ignatius Hosiana Mar 2016
I'm brave enough to fear, deaf enough to hear
blind enough to see, I'm a soul in ecstasy
I'm weak enough to fight, in the dark of light
crippled enough to stand, insane enough to understand
that I'm eternal enough to die, truth enough to lie
perpetual enough to end and straight enough to bend
I'm hard enough to bruise and triumphantly lose
I'm desperate enough to believe, happy enough to grieve
afloat enough to drown and smiled enough to frown
I'm treasured enough to be thrown,a dusk enough to dawn
a man enough to cry,I'm mindful enough to pry
I'm question enough to answer, goat enough to panther
I'm block enough to bridge, free enough to siege
I'm lone enough to clique, wake enough to sleep
love enough to hate, I'm free willed to fate
I'm chain enough to freedom, unknown for my stardom
pleasure enough for pain,I'm sunshine trapped in rain
I'm wrecked enough to intact and powerless enough to impact
probability enough to certain,I'm God enough to Satan
I'm peace enough to war,ignorant enough to know
less enough to more, I'm Yes enough to No
I'm stuffed enough to hunger, silence enough to thunder
obvious enough to wonder, I'm builder enough to plunder.
Big Virge May 2015
MAN … !!!
I've had … " ENOUGH " … !!!
of … Lies that … Run …
from … " Fork-Tongued " … mouths …
Who … Act like … " Clowns " … ?!!!? …

" Enough " …
of their … " smiles " …
and … CLEAR … " Denial " …
of … TRUTH … They REFUSE …. !!!!! .…
to … Accept … as … " TRUE " … ??!?? …

What's with … THESE FOOLS … ?!?
who … " think " … They're Cool …
when … ALL THEY DO …
is act like …. " Tools " …. !!!!! …

NOT … The ones … !!!
that are … put to …
… GOOD USE … !!!

More like … " The Guns " …
That … Policemen Shoot … !!!!!

I've had …
ENOUGH … of … " Them " … !!!!!
and … " Criminals " … TOO … !!!!!!

who cause … PROBLEMS …
when they … LOSE … Their Heads … !!!
and cause … " Bloodshed " … !!!

BLOOD … that runs …
like … " My Pen " … Now does …
" When My Thoughts "… Transcend …
Into …. " Written Poems " ….

Have I written … " Enough " … ???
of this …. " Poetic Stuff " …. ?!?

for me to … Get Respect …
and those … Fat Cheques … !!!!!
from … " Corporate Heads " …
Who … SET … " The Trends " …

I've had … ENOUGH … of them !!!
and … Who They … " Select " …
to ….. " Represent " …..
THIS … Art Forms … BEST …

When … Who They Select …
…… CLEARLY ……
Seem to … Care Less … !!!
about … " What " … They Present …  

I've NOW …
Had … ENOUGH … !!!
of … So Called … " Friends " … !!!

….. Who …..
" Run Their Gums " … !!!

"V, you haven't made it,
because your words,
aren't good enough !"

… and they're …
MY FRIENDS … !!!!!

I've had … ENOUGH … of them … !!!!!
and Their … Disrespect …
for … My Poems …

… when they …
DO NOT … take the time …

… to … Ingest …
These words … I Rhyme …

because …
The Stars … THEY LIKE …
Don't Shine … Up In … " The Sky " … ?!?

They're ones … whose art …
comes out …. " Their **** " …. !!!!!
and thus … are on … PRIMETIME … !!!!!

and of course … !!!
Their views … online …
are … Enough to … " Ensure " …
that they'll be … " Liked " …
Long After ...............
They Have … " DIED " … !!!!!!!!!!

But …..
ENOUGH … About Death … !!!!!
and …. " Killing Trends " ….

How About … ??!??
More Lines …
of … " This Here Type " … !!!

"Oh, you've had, enough !
Here's the deal man, TOUGH !"

Man ….
ENOUGH with … dismissing …
Wordplay … that breeds …
……….  THINKING ……… !!!!!!!!!

Humanity's … "SINking" … !!!!!
Just …… "Check" …...  
How We're Living … !!!!!!! …

ENOUGH … !!!
with … " The Net " … !!!
and … FAKE … " Online Friends " …

It's … ALL …
A … "Pretence" …
That … Doesn't make …
…… " Sense " …… ?!? …...

Haven't you … had …
……. " Enough " …….
of … messages from …

People … who … SEE YOU
but … Don't  … " REALLY " …
…… " See You " …….. ??!?? …….

The Pretense … is … SO ...
….. SEE THROUGH ….. !!! …..

ENOUGH … !!!
with these … " People " …
Who … "click" … to be … " Friends "
But … QUICKLY … Get Upset … !!!?!!!

when things that … you post …
start … " Rocking " … Their Boat … !!!

ENOUGH … !!!
About … " Boats " …
with … " Coc " … Up Their Nose … !!!!!

It seems that … " Nigella " … ?!?
Does deals with … " Coc' Sellers " … !?!?!

I'm meaning … ******* … !!!
ENOUGH … for … Her Brain …
for … Charles Saatchi .. to say … !!!

" Some ads',
can bring pain !
from which I refrain !"

ENOUGH with …
" Campaigns " … !!!

Do you get … ?
what i'm … Saying … ?!?

ENOUGH … advertisers … !!!!!
should now be … " Retired " … !!!
just like …. " Marketeers " …. !!! ….

Whose plans are to … " Steer " …
what's … " Between Your Ears " …

to …
" Material Planes " …
where you … DON'T …
Use … " Your Brain " … !!!

ENOUGH … of … " The Games "
These **'s … Like to play … !!! …

ENOUGH of … " Racism " … !!!
" Sexism " ….. ALL Ism's ..… !!!!!

ENOUGH … of the vision … !!!
of Blacks … "FILLING PRISONS" … !!!!!

ENOUGH of … " Conditions " …
That … Poor People … LIVE IN … !!!!!
That … ARE NOT … Forgiving … !!!!!!!!

While … Rich Folk … COMPLAIN … ?!?
about stuff that's …. " INSANE " … !!!!!
because things have changed …
to the point where ... they're saying ...

that ....

"Pressure's engaged in
touching their gauge !"

and … ANGER …
They … " CLAIM " … !!!

cos' their ……
" Golf Time's " … RESTRAINED …  ??!??

Enough of … This … POKING … !?!
and Racist Folks … " Joking " … ?!?

About … EVERYTHING … !!!
from our … Lips …
to our … Skin … !!!!!

As if that's … The Way …
for them to … " Maintain " …
PROOF … that their … " Status " …
Isn't That … of … " Race Haters " … !?!

Man … ENOUGH … !!!
cos' it's … BLATANT … !!!

that their … brain space …
is …         Vacant           …  
cos' it's on a … " Hiatus " … !!!!!

Enough with these … " Fakers " … !!!
I Won't … " Waste The Paper " … !!!!!!!

So …..
What about …. " Work " …. ?!?

Haven't you had … ENOUGH … !?! …
of … working with … " JERKS " … !!! …  
whose gums always … " Run " … !!! …
" Until " … The Boss … comes … !!! …

Up In … Their … " MOUTHS " … !!!!!

What's wrong with … ?
These … CLOWNS … !!!

I'm talking bout' … " Colleagues "
who run round like … " Collies " … !?!

But … ENOUGH …
about … " Them " … !!!

because … This Poem …
has now reached … It's End …

So …..
If you're like … ME … ?
and see … what i'm seeing …
in …. how most are being …
and …. " Society " ….

If you see … How Tough …
Life's … CLEARLY … become …

Do you ever … " Sit back " …
and say to … yourself …

Enough is …..

……. " Enough " ……. !!!
Will the Uk have had enough of Cameron & Clegg ??? Black folks in the U.S. would seem to have had enough of Police Brutality and Charles Saatchi seems to have, only recently, had enough of Nigella Lawson, daughter of Ex MP Nigel Lawsons', ******* deals !!! So, here's some other things i've had ENOUGH of ... what about you ???
L Smida  Jan 2012
*Crazy Enough
L Smida Jan 2012
I am crazy enough to want to be with you.
The craving is cruelly immense.
I am crazy enough to love only you.
The feeling is truly intense.

I am crazy enough to perfectly see you.
The flaws are secluded.
I am crazy enough to not see the lie of you.
The pain you cause is excluded.

I am crazy enough that no pain hurts me deeply.
The wound is convinced to never be shown.
I am crazy enough to forgive you for whatever reason.
The issue is decided all on her own.

I am crazy enough to trust your every word.
The persuasive tone defeats all doubt.
I am crazy enough to think you don’t do it on purpose.
The subliminal actions are pointed out.

I am crazy enough to say they're not real.
The truth is something I refuse to believe.
I am crazy enough to not care about myself.
The heart continues to be worn on my sleeve.

I am crazy enough to do anything.
The one you once loved will always be here.
I am crazy enough to admit that person is me.
The instant you call, I'll immediately appear.

I am crazy enough to drop everything to get to you.
The things I’d do are unthinkable.
I am crazy enough to save you from any danger
The effort inside of me is unsinkable.

I am crazy enough to let you use me.
The hope helps me think otherwise.
I am crazy enough to give you everything I have.
The hurt, I know, will oversize.

I am crazy enough to not care what happens to me.
As long as you are happy.
I am crazy for you and the joy you bring.
I hope this doesn’t sound too sappy.

I am crazy enough to keep on trying.
The damage can be somewhat repaired.
I am crazy enough to risk failure.
At least I showed you that I cared.

I am crazy enough to walk in the pouring rain.
The coldness of the weather won't stop me.
I am crazy enough to think I'm invincible.
The pieces that are left wish to agree.

I am crazy enough to prove to you how strongly I feel.
The energy inside is a fresh supply.
I am crazy enough to face the deepest darkness.
I can save you in a blink of an eye.

I am crazy enough to put myself out there to protect you.
The shield of my body won't let anything through.
I am crazy enough to wash away all your fear.
The touch of our fingers is the cue.

I am crazy enough to want to be crazy forever.
The comfort of your company is top of the line.
I am crazy enough to be crazy for you.
The way I am, is the master's design.
ylruceiram  Jan 2016
Enough okay?
ylruceiram Jan 2016
I was not enough
Still not enough
And will never be enough.

I was not good enough
Still not good enough
And will never be good enough

But I am useless enough
Careless enough
Frustrated enough
Clueless enough
Lonely enough
Mad enough
Ugly enough
Stupid enough
Lacking enough
Furious enough
Scared enough
Insecure enough
Dumb enough
Afraid enough
Monster enough
Sad enough

Does that count?
Am I already enough?

P.S. This list is not even half of my original list.
lol still not enough i know
Devin Ortiz  Dec 2016
Enough
Devin Ortiz Dec 2016
That word. Enough.
It rings with impatience.
Enough. What is Enough.

For me. Enough. Is too much.
Enough. Is a spectrum. Of opposing sides.
On one end. Those who have had Enough.
On the other. Those who haven't had Enough.
On one end. Those who die because of Enough.
On the other. Those who live because of Enough.

People claim that All Lives Matter.
But they haven't mattered Enough.
Black Lives Matter. But they haven't Enough.
On that spectrum of skin from Black to White.
This country's decided where Enough is.
Right on the line where you matter
Just not Enough for change.
Not Enough
Not Enough
Not Enough

So when. Is Enough. When is that.
When will Enough. Actually be Enough.

These people surely have had Enough.
But clearly not Enough for you.
A-McIntyre  May 2018
Enough
A-McIntyre May 2018
We never had enough when we were young.
We never needed much, but the exact amount was unknown.
We never got enough; toys food or clothes.
We didn't need that much, so "barely" was the most.

We never got enough of your time.
We didn't understand, the eldest not yet nine.
We didn't get enough, affection or warmth.
We never took for granted, but your time spent was short.

We didn't want more than enough, somehow understanding all you had.
We never asked for much: to play or share or cuddle.
We never got that, you liked to stay in your bubble.
We didn't ask for this, to be born, or brought into your life.

We didn't choose the love, or the lack thereof.
We didn't need the money, you hid away from us.
We had enough for us four, your greed was just because.
We had enough, We had enough, We had enough.

We had enough time, to learn proper affection.
We had enough vocabulary for simple conversation.
We had enough feelings, to know you didn't care.
We were not selfish, so why didn't you share?

Was it that we weren't enough, you needed a new man?
Was it that we weren't calm enough, it got out of hand?
Was it that you didn't have enough, of the finer things in life?
Was it that you didn't think enough, before becoming an underage wife?

Now we live out our lives, believing we aren't enough.
Now we live out our lives, always trying to be more, never being enough.
Now we live out our lives, working hard at enough.
Now we live out our lives, still not understanding the problem wasn't us.
the song of my existance.
Irate Watcher Jan 2015
I don’t know you well enough
or I’d read you this poem.
I don’t know you well enough,
though your quite handsome.

I don’t know you well enough
for you to care about my interests,
I don’t know you well enough —
we haven’t reached that level yet.

I don’t know you well enough,
but if I did I wouldn’t want to.
I don’t know you well enough,
please keep playing elusive.

I like your life, but
I don’t know you well enough
to like your instagrams —
it could seem stalker-ish.

We’ve talked about dinner,
but I don’t know when
or if we’ll actually go.
I don’t know you well enough.

I don’t know you well enough,
but text you regardless,
you invite me backhanded
to your friends' plans.

I don’t know you well enough,
to hold your glance,
you buy me a beer,
my hands fold between my legs.

I don’t know you well enough,
but I know when your drunk.
Your friends leave
and I give you a ride home.

I don’t know you well enough,
but you invite me in,
your cat treats me like
a familiar friend.

I don’t you well enough,
but I know when we share spit,
it just lubricates comments
on our horniness.

I don’t know you well enough,
but I know your apartment —
your couch is too squishy
and your bed is too close.

I don’t know you well enough.
I ask if *** will ruin this,
but don't know what this is.

I don’t know you well enough,
but I sleep in your bed.
Your rolling-over motion
was disappointing,
but not unexpected.

I STILL don’t know you well enough,
but I know three unanswered texts
means your not interested
in telling me.

Or perhaps,
I don’t know you well enough.

I don’t know you well enough,
but I’m getting to know me
and I know that naiive
isn’t who I want to be.
Descartian Damsel in Distress
cherelyn Oct 2018
A piece of you..IS ENOUGH..

My dearest,it's a privilege for me to have known your heart.
It's been an honor to have heard your past,your thoughts and even the normal to chaotic things that's happening in your life but best of all it's been a blessing to have loved you.

I am not asking much of you my dearest..
Only this moment to make you feel loved by me. I have no expectations..
The fact that you have love me in return is ENOUGH.
Enough to say to myself,****,i am lucky..because i have loved and love a person who had given me more.
Do you know what you gave me dearest?
Not just the gift to be loved back..BUT YOU GAVE ME one thing that i lost so many years ago..MYSELF.
Time and again i have said thank you to you,many times i have shown you my gratitude because i am truly and entirely grateful to you.You gave me back my life and even changed me..

I am like an old house,renovated completely by you.
Everyday,you had fixed me.Every broken window of my soul,every cracks in the walls of my heart and holes in the ceilings of my life,you change it and fixed it.
In return,i am slowly rebuilding myself..and will never stop rebuilding myself till the windows of my soul is completely open to invite fresh air of adventures inside my life.I will never stop cementing the cracks of my heart till its clear enough to let something wonderful inside it forever and i will never stop repairing the ceilings of my life till its good enough to withstand the strongest storms and winds that will come.

You gave my life a GO..and i am pushing forward to be better.I am not asking much my dearest.
A piece of you is enough.A piece of you is enough NOW.
To have you in my life now is whats important to me.I am here,even if you lash out hurtful words or give me the sourest mood because you had given me yourself in the time i am totally ******* up and when everyone in my life had whipped me painfully and wiped me out of their lives.

You have stood by me and taught me well..
Yes you had given me the hardest tasks,i cried several times when you get mad at me for failing your instructions..You pushed me so hard and break me..But in the end,You gave me another thing back and that is my voice..My voice which can now speak bravely what's in my mind and what's in my heart..

A piece of you is enough..a piece of your time is enough..Enough to make me smile the whole day like a fool..a piece of you is enough to make me happy.You make me happy.I hold every little piece of you and your time here in my heart everyday like a rare diamond.

You might say i am thinking only through my heart but whats the use of thinking with your mind?a mind can deceive a thought spoken but a heart does not.So here i am speaking to you,with my heart on my hand with only three words on my lips..I LOVE YOU..I love you and i love you enough to tell you,your past doesn't matter to me..I love you and you and whoever close to you matters to me.YOUR HAPPINESS MATTERS TO ME.

Forgive me my dearest if i tell you my silly dreams.Dreams and wishes that one day,someday,i got to be where you are,make silly plans for me and you.Silly dreams that i can take care of you or make you pancakes in the morning..Hold you close at night to ease your mind,kiss your forehead when things hurt you so much and squeeze your hand just because i want you to feel my strength beside you..Just to say "baby,things are gonna be okay..in the meantime can i buy you an ice cream just to take your pain away?"

Those are silly dreams my dearest from someone who loves you dearly.I am not expecting it to happen..those are just dreams,nice and sweet thoughts to let you know that somewhere someone wishes for you..someone cares for you.

I can't offer you much,just this dreams and my heart.Yes,those are dreams my dearest,dreams and plans are two different things..I do want to make plans with you but we definitely don't know where life,our lives are heading too..

Sorry my dearest,if i scared you with my plan to go to where you are..But like i said..With or without you..Please be glad that i am moving forward.I don't expect much,i don't expect anything at all..To love you now and have this moment with you now is ENOUGH..

You need not to worry if you're going to hurt me,because you're not going to hurt me.And if you may hurt me,that's okay my dearest..Only words bleeds..nothing more..People come and go in our lives..But what matters is..they came.What matters to me is that YOU CAME..

A piece of you is enough..I don't know what happens in the future,you don't know that too..A piece of you now is enough..a piece of you that i love.Love enough to say my future is bright..i don't know what the future will bring but i am pretty sure now that its going to be wonderful.I will be better..I will fulfill my dreams.I sure want you to be by my side and hold your hand..And say "baby,look at me,i did well" but if not..Like you said awhile ago,if i bumped into you and you have someone new,I'll just smile and say "hi.i did well and guess what,i tasted the best fries here in Amsterdam because of you."

You need not to worry if you will hurt me I LOVE YOU.I AM NOT LIKE THE OTHERS IN YOUR PAST.always remember one thing..You and i are FRIENDS..we started that way.REAL FRIENDS DON'T HURT ONE ANOTHER.If one changes..the other UNDERSTANDS.i will always understand..Even when you said a while ago that you will cut me off entirely,i will still understand..because loving is understanding and loving is wishing only happiness for one another..The wind may blow in different direction but i want you to know A PIECE OF YOU IS ENOUGH AND A WHOLE OF ME WILL ALWAYS BE HERE,HERE TO WISH YOU NOTHING MORE THAN TO BE HAPPY..ALWAYS..

I love you,a piece of you is enough..knowing you is enough..you are enough.

— The End —