This one is for the girls
For the girls who wake up at the crack of dawn
To stare down the standards of beauty built by a society
Who says that your bones are more beautiful than your curves
That your ****** has more value than your words
This one is for the girls who go through their day
Expected to only to smile
Only to say happy words
Even if their world inside is crashing around them.
This one is for the girls
Who endure the side glances,
Because they don't fit into the cookie cutter
that has been so strategically built
By the media
To break down the strong mind of girls and to leave in them in a heap on the side of the road
So that the only time they feel beautiful
Is when they hear catcalls of the passers byers
Leaving them starving
Starving their body
starving their mind
Little by little killing the spirit that was once so strong inside them
And yet all concerns seem to be silenced
This one is for the girls who
Cut open the cookie cutter that has been created
To cut the independent woman down to size
Who carve out a door way in this cookie cutter
As a light to shine at the end of the tunnel
This one is for the girls
Who never lose hope
For the girls who refuse to allow their ****** to hold their entire self worth
This is for the girls who
Refuse to allow the mass media to tell them that they are not beautiful
For the girls who have become the shining star
For the girls who are still discovering their own strength as their wound heal
This is for the girls searching for hope in a dark place
Hoping to find stars in the sky that are close enough they can touch
This one is for the girls
Keep on going
Don't lose yourself in this world
Hold your head up high

And show them the strength of a woman.

I sit in silence
Reading the words printed in this book
Reading the words printed on the pages that are suppose to direct my life
I speak politely to you when time is sufficient
I sit in silence
Waiting for an answer
for a sign that you heard what I was saying
For a sign to show me that what I'm reading in this dusty old book
is real
No reply
As my insides begin to boil with frustration
No longer reading your words
letting out the anger I hold inside of me
I yell and scream at you
All around me
Since you are so omnipotent
Maybe you can hear me now
Maybe you didn't hear me because I was being so polite
When the anger of my voice reaches you
Won't you just show me the wrath that you have ever so described
on these dusty pages
Throw the book across the room
With anger searing through my veins
You said you loved me
You said you loved everyone
So where are you?
you said you would guide all who loved you
So why haven't I heard from you
it's worse than never getting a reply to a text message
Yet your omnipotent
Your inside my head
Supposedly
So why don't you make your presence known
I've studied the words you left in this book
I've sung the songs that you have inspired
Yet I sit in silence
Expectantly
Waiting for the answer.

I'm doing only enough to get by
day by day
I force myself to get out of bed each morning
because of the pain of knowing that I will never be able to wrap my arm around you in a hug
And I will never be able to her your giggle as we exchange admiration  over boys  that we will never have the chance to hold
Each of us searching for our own sense of belonging but somehow
knowing that we belonged together
like peanut butter and jelly
like mashed potatoes and gravy
like you and I
an inexplicable bond we had
people look at us in as we giggle in confusion
but we only stop to catch our breathe
We had the type of friendship that
distance never mattered
time never matter
The bond only grew stronger
Laughter only grew louder
our memories only grew greater
our dreams grew grander
As we fed each other every ounce of strength we could muster when times were hard
We held each other close when the dams behind our eyes flooded over and we couldn't stop them
But now what am I supposed to do
When my mind is on an hamster wheel
Spinning spinning spinning
So fast that I don't know if I can stop it
When the dams that I've built up behind my eyes begin to overflow
When I am suffocating and have forgotten how to breathe
I wonder
Will I desperately call your number just to hear your voice mail again
Will I scroll through all your old photographs to remind myself
that you can't answer my messages anymore
Will I yell at you for leaving me so prematurely that I didn't have time to prepare my last good bye for you.

Why does everyone around me keep dying?
They say that your loved ones gone on to a better place
That they are no longer suffering
But as my heart continues to ache
I can't help but to wonder about those who
carressed their loved ones heart
or the ones who created this being out of pure love and joy
taking the time to teach them and love them with everything they had
as the sun sets on another day
with angels that have walked this earth
and angels that have brought light to this world
begin to fade
The lost of a child holds so much pain that it is compared to being stabbed in the heart
The loss of a friend is felt as if a boulder was dropped into a calm body of water
The ripple effect spreading further and further out
And you begin to wonder if they really saw how much they meant to this world
Would they still have died?
So many theories of where they all go after they go
No one really knows though
But they are certain that it is better than here with all of their loved ones
But my aching heart wonders
Why did you have to go so soon?

Let my words dance into your mind
let them paint a picture of pain yet beauty
let my words help mend your broken heart as you travel through time
let my words remind you of the love that this life offers to you
let them dance
let them bring you peace when you feel as if you can't breathe any longer
let the words dance from my vocal chords be an inspiration and motivation as you
hear them
feel them
write them on your heart for a rainy day
because my friend we all need to hear that we are loved
So don't ever let the rain, rain on your parade
Don't let that boy steal your spirit when he walks away
don't let the silence over power your song and you move through this world
don't let this world take away that beat
because with out it you just might lose yourself
so my friend
let my words be printed on your heart fro a rainy day
because we all need to remember we are loved.

I've been on this path for a while now
Sometimes straying away from the straight and narrow
but in time always finding my way back
Waking up in the mornings thanking the powers that be
that I'm still breathing this air around me
Taking all this wisdom that I have found for granted
And all in one breathe it is shaking
The earth beneath me begins to shake
as my knees begin to quake
And in that moment
Every mistake
Every moment of question
Every right decision
Flashes before your eyes
Like the shortest sweetest documentary you've ever watched
you realize that this is where the path splits
Veer to the left and you head back down the trail
Veer to the right you head up the rest of this mountain
Make the decision wisely

one grain of sand
inside one clam
The clam spends time with this grain of sand
it is nurtured
it is protected
it is valued
it is loved
it is seen as an important part of the clams life
it then becomes a pearl

Why are you so clammed up?
I'm clammed up because I am making a pearl
I am making myself my own pearl
creating my own beauty
Shining my imperfections as if they were weaknesses
I am loving myself
And protecting myself from the toxic environment the world around me can be
I am learning the value of myself
Nurturing myself
The pearl is my own sense of self.
That is my pearl