I heard your voice for the
First time in a long time,
And it didn’t sound right.
No, it didn’t feel right.

I spoke your name for the
First time in a long time,
And it didn’t taste right
Rolling off my tongue.

I heard you cry for the
First time in a while,
And it still tore my
Soul from my body.

I heard you laugh, and
****, it was still comforting.
It’s been a while, but
It made me laugh, too.

And ******* it, I’m
So sorry for what I did to you,
And the things I didn’t do;
The emotion I kept from you.

I visit often, though
This isn’t my happy place.
A homemade solitary confinement;
I cradle myself in the arms of
An oak while ivy brushes
My cheeks. Golden rays,
Golden buds, and golden wings
Flutter around my vision
Like twinkling treasure chests.

Lonely whispers of the wind
Interrupt the mockingbird’s call
Like a siren screaming in
The night. It is chilling, yet
Comforting. Petrichor seeps
Into my pores and my
Melancholy blues fade to
A golden dream. I’m free to
Leave, but not before opening my eyes.

Your hands
Braided with mine,
Like Lady Fate and
Father Time
Begged the Creator
To let us be.
Tangible connection,
Like you could
See the wires
Drawing me into
You.

You, the piece
Of the puzzle
That makes me
See the bigger picture.
You, the eye-
Opener that I do
Desperately needed to
Believe again.
You, the hand-
Picked violets I swoon
Over nightly.

Charming and
Breathtaking;
I am in
Awe of you,
Sweet baby blue.
The heavens crafted
You for the world,
And instead you
Picked me.
How lucky I am
To love you.

(1)
There are inner battles that
Are waging within my soul.
Insecurity strikes with
Swiftness of the snake.

(2)
Awaken, rejuvenate.
Life is far too short to waste
Precious breath on tired souls.
Awaken your peace.

(3)
I was so used to reading
Others emotions like it
Was biblical scripture.
You make me humble.

(4)
I stopped feeling the need to
Read into everything when
You showed me an open book.
It's such a relief.

I am hard again.
There is concrete and it traps me.
There is a numbness and I can feel it.

I am not well, in dream state;
Unconscious and heavy
With guilt.

I am changing,
    And it is chaos.
I am changing,
     And it is destruction.

I’m soft again.
There is a river and it fills me.
There is feeling again, and how I feel it.

I’m awake and alive,
Full and bursting
With love.

I am changing,
     And it hurts.
I am changing,
     And I love it.

I’ve been feeling down lately;
Shrinking into a lowly position.
I’ve been sinking lately;
Falling deep into the Earth.
A sacrificial burial, my roots are
The crypt descending into dirt.

Face to the sun every morning,
My circadian rhythm
Reminds me of my daily rebirth.
Like the sunflower, the light
Is my compass, these feet are my
Anchors, these arms reaching branches.

In the way that
Perfume smells different
On the skin
Than it does
In the bottle,
You are different on me.

You came to me
Swirling with chaos
And confusion,
And a brooding rage;
Like storm clouds
Provoking the tidal wave.

Your skin on mine
Smells like the calm
Before the storm;
Like morning coffee
And French vanilla
Goodbye kisses.

Like fresh picked lavender,
And a pinch of mint
Mixed with calming vanilla;
One inhale and I
Am transported to
A place that is home.

Home is where the
Heart is, and my heart
Is honeysuckle
And feathers,
And your touch.
And you, always you.

The morning bleeds hues of
Vibrant violet and rose
Over a peaceful world.
Feathers fluttering, leaves whispering
About the day to come.
The sun, like eyes opening for
The first time, shines like
Jewels lying in the creek bed.
Godless night washed away
With watercolor wildflowers.
Without such beauty,
The alarm clock chirping
Would surely be my enemy.

The shadows are a
Newfound emptiness.
Winter collapses on my
Blooming form;
The aching is like a
Rose in a withering bind.

Show winter goodbye
Without a velvet kiss,
Your lips intricate like
Candlelight flooding darkness.

The whispers are a
Newfound romance;
A deep melody
Burning a quiet
Softness into me.

Show softness a warm
Welcome, with wide, open
Doored arms.
Your delicate fingers like
Raindrops to seed.

You sound like pen on
Paper, and to you, I sound
Like wind chimes tinkling
In the breeze on our journey.
You and I, we’re made for this

(I) Three cups raised skyward
To God in celebration.
Gather sisters, in
The gardens and scream with
The golden rays of sunshine.

(II) The strain of this weight
On my bony shoulder blades
Is overbearing.
I am exhausted and frail;
When can I drop this burden?

(III) A knight in shining
Armor; wielding attractive
Charisma as his
Weapon of choice, rushing
To save the world, or the girl.

Buried to my neck in blues,
Melancholy threatens to swallow
Me whole like a whale
Out in the deep, blue sea.

Apathy waits on the porch,
Holding a mask that looks
Like a reflection. I’m too
Afraid to answer the door.

I wake in the breezy winter,
Emotion strong but rhythmic.

I hear my flame in blue;
The chill too deep,
Tickling uncertain skin.

I perceive you as a siren,
Using song to draw me in.
Brilliant, but aching,
Your favorite melody
Engulfing the sea;
Breaking glass through lonely love.

Bitter as bleach, the
Words roll off your velvet
Tongue and past acidic
Lips. You’re a hypnotist
Disguised as a broken heart
With a guitar.

Your fingers corrode the
Walls I’ve built, my
Stability in shambles.
I succumb to your song
And follow it to the waters edge,
Eager to die hearing your voice.

I haven’t seen you in so many days.

Gnashing teeth unintentionally
Bite at bare, vulnerable skin
Like a cornered animal.

Lash out with the quickness
Of the cobra and strike
At anyone on your path.

I haven’t seen you in so many days.

Someone so sweet can
Become so sour with the
Flip of the mood.

Sharp tongue and bared teeth,
Darling, you are
Unexpectedly dangerous.

Back and forth, like a
Pendulum we swing.
Skating a fine line between
Love and hate,
Hoax and fate.

Up and down, like a
Staircase, we climb;
A loving little loop-de-loop.
Your love changes hue;
Vibrant red to melancholy blue.

Forever and always,
I’ll love you more; at each
Other’s throats, you’re still everything:
My heart and soul,
The piece that made me whole.

Pain that is root- deep
(Growth has never been comfortable)
But not pistol height;
On a journey for the map
To metamorphosis.