You let me live
when i should've died.
That wasn't as kind as you probably thought it was.

Imaginary blood
still drips from
this imaginary knife wound to the gut.
It's staining my psyche
with the uneasy remembrance
of you
letting me live
on a whim.  

Those eyes,
that mouth that spat those twisted lies
and dubbed them truth
just to make me feel better,
made me feel the complete opposite.
The acknowledgment
of being alive
not because your succeeding in life
but
because your doing so poor
that others can do nothing but pity you
is one of the worst feelings in the world.
How dare you give me such charity.

Next time
go through with it.
Don't stop midway in transit,
inches away from impact.
Even though the knife didn't touch
it's sharp presence still cut me.

Wanting her
more than air.
Seeing her picture,
you pause and stare...

Time stands still.

In that moment
you become filled
with heartache and sorrow
because many tomorrows
lie between now and then,
until you get to see her again.

Eternity exist
in every second
your away from her bliss.

in a flash everything changes
it happens so fast, it's a little outrageous
life, slow and steady
becomes life, fast and ready
what you have, is there, then gone
lost in a fritz, wondering why, what went wrong
you wish you could rewind, go back and change the past
cause right now your in a bind, you were kicked out on your ***
that shelter of anger and confusion won't keep you warm and safe
you have to find a new home, stick it out, and just be brave
adversity constantly presenting itself to you
forced to answer the question of - Now what will you do?
through it all just try to remember
things might get worse, but they're bound to get better
life seems like hell right now, but it won't last forever
keep moving forward no matter what

Lay me down in a pile of snow
Freeze my heart until I eventually let go
Freeze me numb until I'm no longer hung
up on the empty promises that she sung

Leave my body frozen and empty
Let winter's kiss be the only warmth within me
Her chilled breath so cold and stills
my heart numb, emotions no longer spill

Don't falsely warm and fill my being
Don't give out words you have no intention of keeping
You love old habits more than you love me
therefore
**Freeze me til I feel no more

You left
to find yourself
of which you found

I'm thankful
your world's
a little less upside down

Got yourself together
your life
you rearranged

But now im not in it
and am left feeling
strange

You said you’d always be my friend
but didn’t stick with me til the end.
You told me I completed you
that you’d love me forever,
yet here I am, by myself, alone
you and I no longer together.
Don’t cry, your not life’s only lie.
Society filled my head with so many misconceptions
pulling me back and forth in all these different directions.
Get a job, make lots of money, you’ll be real happy.
Yet here I am, busting my ***, feeling **** ******.
Go get educated at some fancy institution
then your life will be better, that’s the real solution.
Doesn’t sound half bad, I’ll take you up on that bet.
4 years pass, still busting my ***, forty grand in debt…
In a life full of lies
death seems to be the only thing certain.
I know it would never hide the truth from me
behind some ******* curtain.
When it comes, I won’t be seeking solace.
I’ll be smiling, saying “Thank you for keeping your promise.”

A let go and release,
a subtle masterpiece.

The moment's true treasure
nothing comes close when measured.
There, everything's beautiful
even the painful and the sorrowful.
The realized sensation of life happening
lost in the nature of true being,
every cell in the body tingles
all sensations perceived twinkle.
Spoken of as the 'here and now'.
I can almost only express it as 'Oh my, wow'.

Alive and realized,
euphoria crystallized.
That is *the natural high.

Shadowy clouds of realization form.
Truth rains down, cold and wet
with no umbrella of illusion to keep me dry.
Reality roars, trembling my bones.
I fear what's about to be before me.
In a instant, depression strikes
dragging me back to that sad sorrowful place
where fairy tales stop holding my hand and heart.

Find me where eyes can't take you.
In blind darkness
feel out my heart and soul.

This mundane way life grows so tiresome
Not just for me, but for everyone
The constant repetition of everything
Wake up, go to work, come home
Eat, sleep, do it again the next day
It's so bland, so constricting
Where's the exitement?
I mean there's a whole world out there
A bunch of new experiences to be had
Unknown mysteries to explore
Yet here I am continuing this repetition
Maintaining the system that enslaves me

Yea, **** this
I'm not some **** robot
I'm a human, with a soul
Which yearns to explore the other facets of life

My existence is so much more than just a job

If someone stabs you,
bleed.

Do what you really want,
not what you were told to do.
**** it, don’t be blunt.
Do you.
It’s your life, not theirs.
You might mess up, but who cares.
That’s life.
You’re bond to experience some strife.
The world we live in a little meh, but there’s still some glory.
It’s hard to come across but you’ll find it, don’t worry.
ENOUGH TALKING, START LIVING, GO CREATE YOUR STORY!

beyond my flesh, part of me is a machine
made up of many biomechanical parts,
i operate and go about tasks
with my advanced psychological circuitry,
i gather, process, store, and retrieve large volumes of data
without a doubt,
i am a Cyborg

honestly though, it scares me a little
in a sense, i am very similar to a robot  
these machines can be programmed and controlled
so can I ...

l was on the floor sulking
or on the road walking.
No matter where I was
thoughts kept me company,
always wondering.

Enter - tragedy

What just happened...
Will I be ok?
I always find a way.
Sad and hurt, but does it matter
if nothing changes afterwards?

Rebirth yet?
No.
Still waiting to live, still too afraid to die.
It's painful, even if positive.

Cant focus on breath when suffocating.

What life are you leading
and why are you constantly bleeding?

Transcendental beauty in all moments.
Transitory bliss... Here again.

Sleep.

My love engulfs
everything it touches.
You could potentially become ash.

Like the sun, I stay
millions of miles away
so you won't be incinerated.

Her hands, long and elegant
have a knack for crafting
geometrical elements.

Her touch
melts me into
a puddle of euphoria.
Never before
have I felt
more vulnerable.

Her eyes
when filled with wonder,
fill me with love
at the way she ponders.

When my spirit is lost
in agony and chaos
she finds me.
Her words lift me past
my dark clouds of thought,
and allow me to see
the starry light of hope.

A realization forms.
Without her
I would be no more.

The love of the universe is all around.
Only in stillness of mind can it be found.
Quite yourself and just listen to its sound.
Peace and bliss is what will be found.

she said
he taught me to write in different dimensions
free myself into expression

in the writing it was clear
her words painted not pictures
but emotions.

her brush
rhythmical experience
her canvas
their soul

A flower
blooms
only after experiencing
all nature has to offer.

the sun, the rain.
the love, the pain.

Through sorrow and despair
our stems must stay deeply rooted
in love, faith, and hope.

Storms will come and go.
Hardships
will push you
to think and grow.

Even though
petals fall
the flexible stem still stands
through the unknowing winds of change.

Sometimes I feel like a waste of space.
Always falling behind, stuck in a constant haste.
I try to keep myself together, try to keep a steady pace
but I think it's obvious from the sadness emanating from my face...
I'm broken.
Internal wounds too deeply woven.
These emotions of mine
they become far too lonely.
So kindly I stick around
and give them some company.
My efforts are true
but seemingly meaningless.
Don't know what to do
but still try nonetheless.
Repeatedly I try to alleviate their pain.
Unfortunately it remains there, a psychological stain.
Their recovery would need much time
of which I cannot give.
So slowly my psyche unwinds
as I struggle to live.

I don't write poetry,
poetry
writes me.
It pulls my emotions
from deep within
slapping them on paper
into a lyrical spin,
into rhymes of sorts
helping me
to better deal with them.
  
Painful at times, yes
but
when a doctor
reallocates
your shoulder back into it's right place
it's only for the better.

Ironic how
the medicine for my soul
is found in the same place
as the wound.

Sometimes I wish to be
like the dandelion.

Disperse into hundreds of seeds
and let the wind take me away.

To me it's -
Your in pain, I'm in pain.
You cry, I cry.
You **** yourself because the pain is too much to bare.
I suffer wondering what I could've done because I care.
I pull my hair out thinking of what I could've done to save you,
but in the end eventually end up taking mine too

Why do you make it so hard
to like you.
Judging everything I do
judging just to judge
grudging against everything
I've come to know and love.
Why?
Why do you try so hard
to outwit and misfit me,
trying to create conflict
where I only feel glee.
This, what you've labelled, "condescending tone"
is me just wanting you to leave me the **** alone.
I grow tired of your *******,
honestly don't know how much longer
I can continue to endure it.
Your words nothing but bashful, always quick to berate,
you constantly threaten and try to intimidate.
Then wonder why I'm filled with so much hate
towards you,
acting like it came out of the clear blue.

Sometimes I would like to step into your fairytale
and try to cause as much hell
as you believe me to be doing.
Fortunately though,
I have nothing like that brewing.
If you'd let me, I'd show you my world,
hopefully breaking you out of that ignorant spell.
You know - seeing is believing.
Maybe then you'd be able to tell
just how stupid you were being.

When...
When did we stop being a family?
Really, it's kind of a sad tragedy
that my love for you
only exist
in memories.

The soul
finds itself
in the passing moments
of life.

Resonance rekindles
the crippled wings
of spirit.

The remembrance
of true essence
jolts us back
into being.

Falling leaf in the wind
dances gracefully
in a ballerina spin.

The cold autumn winds
give color
to the grey clouds.

Winter is just around the corner.

Today's the day to be,
What truly matters to me.
Living the moment like there's no tomorrow.
Nothing holding me back, not even my sorrow.
Experiencing the glory of life, embracing all that is.
Watching the clouds pass by, the simple bliss.

Existence; be without resistance.
Life; hold no strife.

My Love.
Constrict not I will,
Acknowledge you and fill,
You will everlasting warmth.
Hold on to you.

being one of the last things on your list;
just before sleep,
right after everything else,
sometimes
not even on it.

hours pass
don't know how much longer
my heart can last
it's bleeding leaks into being
sadness felt, uncertainty's within me
this is important, don't let me rot away
this is important, don't let me become
the afterthought I believe myself to be

never be too quick to love
it'll make you feel really dumb.
one of the hardest drugs to recuperate from,
likely to leave you numb.
lost and confused
your heart will completely feel
broken and bruised.

is one where
the bond you hold with them is so strong,
the connection between you two is so great,
that the words "I love you"
never have to be ushered;
their evident
in every interacting
moment,
even the silence.

But when conveyed directly,
heaven sings
for it is a treat beyond
any earthly
delight.

Your souls
resonate, always gravitate
towards each other.
Even after rebirth
you always come back together.

Never lost, always found
in each others presence.

Supreme oneness.  

Even when apart great distance
there is no separation
in space,
or being.

You might find yourself asking life why
With little to no response, you'll want to cry
At wits end with almost nothing left to give
Please remember, life wants you to live
To flourish and thrive
doesn't need, but wants you to survive
Wants you to walk not crawl
Maintain a balance, not have it all
Live for yourself or another
Feel the love of our earthly mother
So if you've fallen, rise
Please don't let the temporary be your demise
Life is sure to bless you with a new surprise
All you need to do is continue to try

The sake has lost its taste.
It's been had so often
the taste has become so common
that the experience has been rendered
tasteless.

Life
in constant repetition
losing site of true ambitions,
its flavor
can barely
be savored.

However you can,
express it.
Don't keep it inside
and repress it.
If your feeling unhappy,
tell someone why.
"There's no need, I'm fine."
It's ok,
You don't have to lie.
I'm here
and will stick by your side.
So tell me,
What's on your mind?

It made me open my eyes to how they could've lasted that long.
The emotion I felt from reading my granfather's letters...
It was if he had been waiting his entire life to write them to my grandmother.
As though from birth he had held this inextinguishable love for her.
Almost as if he had been put on this earth with no other purpose but, to love her.
Without a doubt it was obviously clear,
There love would continue for many more years.

Hunger sets in.
A PBJ sandwhich would be nice.
Though looking into the jelly jar,
it's almost empty.
I wonder if I'll have enough.

A friend is in pain.
Empathic nature sets in -
I'd like to help her.
Looking within for that uplifting wisdom,
it's seems I've run dry
for its felt seldom.
I give the little advice I have.
I wonder if I gave enough.

I've fallen in love.
The goal is to be alive with her.
If everything works out
I'd like to start a life with her.
Though looking at all her memories,
mine seem almost empty.
I wonder if I'll have enough.
*I wonder if I'll be enough.

Tonight I see you.
In the silence of this night,
your glow is loud.
It speaks to me.
It calms me.

I know now why the wolves call out to you,
howling in hopes that you'll hear them.
They wish to convey gratitude
for showing them that the sun still shines
even during the darkest of nights.

I ponder on thoughts,
are they mine or another's,
I don't really know

I interpret meanings,
mirroring the echoes taught,
rippling from the start

Clearing distractions,
I experience the self,
awakening soul

Existence realized,
consciousness looking at self,
what could it all mean

Obviously lost,
wondering through illusions,
searching for the truth

A poem isn't effort.

Emotions aren't squeezed out,
but bleed out
into their own being.

The poet
a mere catalyst
for their expression,
letting go of continuous
repression.

Bleeding constructively.

Always leaving,
constantly running way.

Dont become too attached.
I will only lead you astray.

Will the time ever come,
where I can just stay?

With you always and forever,
I cannot wait for that day.

You know, it's not enough.
We need more than just happiness.
We need a little chaos.
Something to remind us why happiness feels the way it does.
Simply put,
The challenges we face, the struggles we go through
To over come those obstacles,
Makes living all the more worthwhile.
Without struggle, without some kind of turbulence,
Life gets pretty **** boring

if you can't let go
tears will start to flow
no worries though
just let em go
they'll help clear your soul
of what you don't want to be feelin' no mo'
no need for a show
but sometimes it can't be helped, ya know
hurt, sad, feelin' low
sorry I can't be more happy and glow
guess I'll just tip toe
wait for someone to bring back the radio

Sleep does little to help.
Threads come loose
slowly but surely
forming a noose.
Choking on faculties
that make me reconsider
cold hard realities.
Reassurance was never my friend
it would just silently laugh
as I fell to my end,
still falling...

In the euphoric silence of nothingness
letting go of everything that is
returning to your original state of being,
hatred fades
peace remains.

Light pulses throughout;
illumination fills the vessel.

Your soul
clean and clear
free of weight
can now fly.

I had hoped these thoughts
would've been sleep by now.

It seems minuscule
but when your always alone
it's everything.

Broken doesn't stand
it crawls,
struggles to live.

The day he got his legs back
he ran
fast and far
away from his misery,
away from his suffering,
away to his dreams.

During those long, tedious 9-5 days,
glancing out the workplace windows,
sometimes I'll wish nothing more than
to just go outside and lie in the grass.
As I would lie there bathing in sunlight
the ground would come up, grab me
keeping me rooted in its dirt,
while the wind
would blow away my troubles.  

Some days I actually visualize it.
Me, slogging away the days work,
somehow whimsically stumbling outside.
I would arrive at the grass tired,
with a sad, dead look in my eyes.
Magically, the earth would rise up to greet me.
Hugging me, taking me in, it would whisper
"It's ok, your home now."