tired of being alive
i'm tired of not wanting to be alive
i'm tired of having responsibilities
i'm tired of pretending everything is okay
i'm tired of going to a house that i'm supposed to call home when 
it's not that at all
it's a roof over my head to keep me warm not sane
i'm insane
i'm tired of thinking i'm insane
i'm tired of arguing
i'm tired of having to put in headphones to block out the world
i'm tired of the world
i'm tired of writing about my feelings
i'm tired of hiding my feelings
i'm tired of having feelings
i'm tired of thinking
i'm tired of breathing
i'm tired of being tired

from rain
should i turn into a storm?
howling like the wind
making noise
to get you to hear me?
more raindrops
more tears
to make you feel
drenched in remorse?
harsher and faster
much like a hurricane
to get you to see
how messed up i am?
when i'm strong
like the storm
would you love me more?

looked at, talked about, judged
moving away, leaving but they won't budge
drive you crazy, wondering, hoping
yet you just sit around, alone, "moping"
"your life has no meaning!" "go **** yourself" "die"
in that corner, crying, "don't do it" "why?"
time passes slowly the end approaching
you welcome it happily so long you've been waiting
even now it couldn't come quick enough
so long, farewell to all this stuff

I want it to end , the pain, the torment
the feeling that I'm being ripped apart from inside out.
I walk around unnoticed
I sit crying, pleading for it all to stop.
I don't want it to feel this way.
There's nothing I can do differently,
it doesn't care.
This black cloud doesn't look at the person before affecting it.
It just does.
It just chooses never to leave.

sometimes I think to myself am
i the only sane one left but right now
it seems as if
it's all me
it's my fault, whatever
it is
my mental health being as unstable as
it is
it's my fault
my mum only ever showing the illusion of happiness
it's my fault
i've been told i can't do anything right so why should
i bother trying at all trying to move forward, to make progress
why can't i just end
it?

A girl, just a girl
Can’t go out, can’t Converse
Because I’m a girl, just a girl
I want to be heard too
I want to have the same freedom my brother does
Not bear the fear of being judged
Being told I can’t but how could I forget that
I’m a girl, just a girl
I’m supposed to sit quietly and tolerate it all
Can’t go anywhere and simply enjoy
Even out here so far from home
Because I’m a girl, just a girl
Why is it that me being a girl allows
You to make decisions for me?
Because that’s just it
I’m not just a girl!

Shining light on even the darkest of places
Enforcing happiness resulting in all sad thoughts to wilt away
It's actions aren't limited to a certain person, place or time yet no one can argue with it's divine way of capturing emotion and guiding it towards the answers that weren't ever thought to be asked.
The childish recklessness you indulge in makes you forget your problems because what problems could a child possibly have.
You allow yourself to go back to a time the illusion of happiness was real because of it.