w h a t     do you      w a n t     from     m e
you don't love me
you won't leave me
w h a t     do you      w a n t    from     m e
i can't give you everything
i refuse to give it twice

the marijuana
does the trick
removing those
bad thoughts that stick

the alcohol
halts the flood
that scent of you
inside my blood

the hazy nights
a stranger's love
hides the dagger
removes the glove

but once the high is over, my thoughts out of the mud
it's time to start all over, 7 grams of bud

the saddest thing
a kid could wish for
is that she is not like her father

If you can romanticize the hurt,
you must romanticize the heal.
Romanticize that his arms won't be the only thing you'll feel.
Although they were so loving, his kisses tenderly,
remember he chose to walkaway
he could have chosen me.

i know i'm in love
because i want everything to smell like you
even though
i don't know what you smell like
yet

the loneliest people

gravitate towards big cities
crowded streets, family you never had
human warmth once lacked
filling up your field view
so you can't see
the emptiness
you hide

she drinks
he fights
seems to be
we write

i want to breathe the smoke through my lungs
the sting is so romantic

my humanity is slipping
as i become my numbers
give me one more like

when simple thoughts bring complex hurt
you need to let me go
but squeeze knuckles white
and hold on tight
for love i long to know

I told you that I'd wait forever,
now I fear I always will
Becoming sadder by the minute,
the love that time can't ****

grey hoodie
blue eyes
too bad
he lies

She just needs someone to hold
so she'll grab unto anything
a pack of cigarettes
a  lighter
anything warm
anything
The filter
will graze her skin
like no fingers
ever have
and the flick
of her thumb
on the greased metal
will light a flame
the only warmth she's ever known
And she'll light up
And she'll breath in
wishing the smoke
would never come out
that it would fill her up
make her tingle
make her warm
like no one ever would

today, i am blue.
sometimes we need to be blue.
it's what makes us human.
it's what makes us poets.

heartbreak always is the theme,
lots of pain, a poet's dream
the lies and tears, they rip my seam
my guts are spilling out

Ernest Hemingway said to write about what hurts.
But what do I do if it all hurts?
What are the words that capture the audience?
Probably nothing I can write
My tongue is dry,
signing off

i don't know why i'm crying
guess my body is just used to it
now it's my nightly routine
how i wipe off my makeup
every night

the thoughts in my head are moving on
the pen in my hand is not
maybe everything is a little more complicated
than you and i had thought

i have filled pages
with your name in every symbol
what a waste of paper

"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
Oh dearie, how I long to be everything.
I want to be the moonlight, streaming down from the heavens unto a loner's cabin high in the forest. My beams caress each plank and stone- lightly touching, deeply moving. And when the loner looks out from his cabin high in the forest, up towards my beams from heaven, he'll realize he's not so alone.
I want to be the glass of an apartment window, overlooking the lives of those too busy looking down. Someone has to watch over them, so here I am, in honest transparency. Yet I belong to something greater, the primary memories of a young child, raised by her mother in this small apartment. And when the beauty through my glass catches her eye, that's when the dreaming will start.
I want to be the wire that clumsy teens trip over, bustling through the halls of a low-budget high school. When their heads are forced upwards, and balance is found, they will realize they are still standing. And they will be glad to be standing one more day.
There is so much I long to be.
And yet, there is so little time.

Because when I'm not with you,
I'm thinking about being with you.
Because when I see you,
every muscle in my body,
every sense, is awakened.
Because I don't care
for anything else.
Because, I told her,
I would never leave this town,
I would never make my dream,
I would carry my troubles
heavy on my shoulders,
I would work until my knuckles bled,
I'd go hungry,
I'd go sleepless,
I'd shed my skin a million times,
I'd take on a million faces,
I'd break and fall and hurt and cry
if it meant that I could do it all with you.

I crave bad things
smoke and heartbreak
cuts along my thighs
romanticized pain
because that's what they don't want
what they don't want
is what I am

i'm ripping out my hair.
i like the way it snaps.
crack crack
and so it breaks.
sounds familiar

when all the poems have already been written
and the emotions that bite have already been bitten
what will become of us then?
us romantic souls with our tongue-twister tales
prisoners that will turn into men

My darling, sweet Prince Charming
now whiskey in the night
The arms that were so fond of love
are now so keen to fight
Awakened by the thought of you
left ending in a dream
When you said you loved me
what did you really mean?

The love fills me entirely
beyond any known brim
My thoughts I fail to choose wisely
as they only are of him
But I hack away
hurting my heart
because I love the sin
And now I know
when it came to you
there was no way I could win

the candle flickering
on the shelf
makes invisible winds
invisible smells
which i breathe in
and then breathe out
all while thinking
about myself
and the sorrows that i bring

We were never as beautiful
as i wrote us out to be
The thorn so sharp was from a rose?
No, just a lie made by me

And how you said you loved me
well, that was just untrue
But somehow i heard it
in every moment
that i laid next to you

How our petals
fell with grace
as time drove slowly by
Now we stand here
face to face
Why did you let me die?

When you grow up on love songs,
it gets pretty ******* hard to live without.

the ones who write most eloquently
are not a product of fine-tuned education,
rather,
they are the ones
chosen to feel the most
to take every hit
as a blow
and effectively describe
this feeling
to those blind of heart
as the blind don't lack the humanity
nor the soul
simply they have morphine

i'm weak when i forget that everyone always leaves
and i have the nerve
the audacity
to chase after
a hot air balloon

the worst ones
are just like my father

ASK ANYONE
                  when we met, i was a mess
                  i was hurting, i was unloved
                  i was scarred and bruised and left and used
ASK ANYONE
                  when we talked, my words found color
                  they became bright and jubilant
                  they became a whirlwind of paint
ASK ANYONE
                 i saw the best parts of myself in you
                 the universe was aligned
                 and fate shown its strong hand
ASK ANYONE
                 when we were over, i felt incomplete
                 like those best parts of me were walking away
                 and i was left, crumpled, angry
ASK ANYONE
                 time taught me how to smile
                 hurt taught me to have heart
                 you taught me of strength
ASK ANYONE
                 i cried at a stop light
                 why won't you let me go?

I gave you my heart.
I don't know where you put it.

details of my life
won't turn a stranger's head
neither would the 411
of who's sleeping in my bed
to them i am a picture
of what they see so plain
to them it doesn't matter
to whom i give my name
i am nothing to the man
that plants his crop and seed
i am nothing to the woman
who works tirelessly at her weave
i am nothing to the folk
that bake and craft galore
but to myself i am best friend,
lover and so much more

but he is fiction
when i wanted history.

it's a jumble of cliche words
designed to attract the attention of strangers
so that I can convince myself
that these things are real
that I am real
that the things I feel
don't just belong to empty space between my ears
that there's something out there
besides the backlash of my hurt
fantasies hurt less
please don't go

in the corner of the library
atop smooth, white tiles
lied a girl curled and primed,
who hadn't heard of a smile.
she sat there and pondered
what it means to know love
to have a warm hand to hold
and be free as a dove.
deep in the shadows
the princess did wait
with no prince to save her
it became too late.

I don't want to see the world.
I just want to be with someone that makes me feel like I already am.

i didn't know how i felt until she said
"why him?"
and then i remembered.
i remembered everything.

you sealed it tight
within your tank
and put it on display
it sank to the floor
forced to entertain
the bystanders that day

you didn't like
how it wouldn't act
or sing or dance with glee
and everyone had come around
as there was "a show to see"

but it refused to comply
with your cruel and selfish ways
and so you locked the tank forever
where I'll live out my days