Troublesome headache wont go away
Pain in my heart, and my left leg
Tears in my eyes, coffee in my hand
I walk on
Like I am invincible
As if Im not afraid
As if I dont fall down
As if I dont get hurt
Angry, throwing things around the room
It's to empty
No echoes of our screams
I want to breath with out the sob stuck in my throat
I want to close my eyes
And not see you
I want to lay in my bed
Without the company of the hot liquid down
My broken face
I want to be me without you
But I'm torn
I need one more hug to assure me
That you dont really hate me
I want to feel strong again
Instead of ill

The light fades behind the moon
My heart is once again tainted
It is as if the darkness assumes
My soul is to be repainted

It's claws thick and stained by blood
Like a werewolf it howls sadly at the sky
I thought then it understood, but
I plea, I beg, dear god tell me why

I become this monster in my flesh
When the sun descends and retires
I become overwhelmed by death
And give myself over to haunted desires

I am asleep inside my own mind
These acts are not my own
I wake horrified to find
That inside I'm not alone

I have walked with this smile in place
But beneath the surface ,
I I'm burning in my hellish inferno
I'm tortured by memories
I'm tortured by the faint touch
In every corner of my mind lays a monster
I'm trapped in a house of nightmares
There's no escape ....
I can't breath when phantom hands
Are wrapped around my neck
And yet while I lay here dying
I'm forced to stay alive
And yet I Kay here crying
My tears I'm forced to hide....
I've been strong enough
My arms are growing tired
I rather let go
But I'm chained and barred down
The clouds are out if my reach
This razor blade ...
Is my only release
Pain let's me know I'm real
And that this isn't another dream
Growing up to fast
Dying to slow
The sun doesn't rise in my world
And evil never dies
I'm stuck behind the bars
Of a prison
That I am trapped
Lights are in the sky
They bid me goodbye
I am alone ...
To wave goodbye

You look me in the eye
Say you love me
That's a lie

Everydays a new issue
And you break me up
Just another crumpled tissue

You promise me sweet thing in my ear
Then tell me that they were fake
Everything that I hear
Is putting my feelings at stake

How could you **** me like this
When I give you everything
How can you shove me
When I just wanted you to see

But you're blind
And just won't listen
I wish that I could find

I hate that I am drowning
And you don't even care

I hate that my words aren't ryhming
Because I can't see or hear through my tears

And my hands are shaking
Because I hate knowing you're here

And that you can hear my sobs
And you just don't.... Care

Last night I talked to you
It's been almost a year
And to hear your voice...
Tears me up inside
I want to ask to see you
But if I do
I won't be able to let you go
I was crying ..
But I covered up my sobs
Tried to laugh
But I can't stop the pain
That leaks through
You ask if I'm ok
I just say
I've got a cold
When you say goodbye
I feel a part of me die
And realesed it
Through my sigh
Curl up one my bed
And cling to my head
I might just explode
Crumbling like old stone
My heart has no insurance
It was just a loan
That's why I know
I'm better off alone

Piano covered in dust
keys out of tune
room filled with doom
dark shadows on the black and white
checkered tile
I'll just sit here a while
Wipe my foggy eyes
this masquraded demise
hidden in the best desgiuse
as love
that i thought came from you
as you brushed your fingertips
down my back
but true feelings you lacked
push you away with tears
in the green pools
hurt
betrayed
never again
the room begins to spin
ice in my lungs
my heart breaks in two
and i turn to leave
but i see her shadow
her pictures on the wall
i begin to fall
this heart ache grips me as i crawl
this pain i feel
it sends me reeling
a mask i glue in place
concealing
my hurt and tears
all the love id spent for so many years
and now i am poor
my love is no more
i spent everything i had
and i feel so bad
i cant truly feel so ...
no words to put on my emotion
my heart caused a commotion
im sad that i feel this way
only pulls me further down i must say
when did it get this bad
when did i feel this mad
how could i feel any better
just take my scarlet letter
i rather leave this realm
than feel like this
i shouldnt feel like this
...... but you i'll miss

I gave everything I had and you just let it all blow away in the wind,
like nothing had ever crossed our once star struck paths, I was struck in the heart,
That blow should've killed me,
I shouldve drowned in the open sea
But you resuscitated me
I would have died you see
I can't look in your eyes
I know that's  were my heart once lied, ,
I begged for you to be,
One hundred percent true to me
But you couldn't be
You hurt me
Left me bleeding into the ground
So lucifers hungry souls could feast
You were an evil beast
I miss the warmth and peace

Do you remember the melody
Your heart once sang with me
It was a masterpiece
It was truly unique
The gods bowed their heads in the presence
I used my last regrets
I promised That I wouldn't forget
That song that we once sang
Ill remember that day

When I saw you leave
It was so hard but so full of relief
I was sad for days
I resented the month of may
On may 28th
We'd sang out song
I remember how you smiled
I had felt at home for awhile
But you had evicted me

Do you remember the melody
Your heart once sang with me
It was a masterpiece
It was truly unique
The gods bowed their head in the presence
I used my last regret
I promised I wouldn't forget
That song that we once sang
I'll remember that day

I am not afraid of death
It's peaceful like the trees
I am not afraid of death
It can consume me
Lips locked around my viens
**** away my life
Bids away all the pain
Bids away my strife
Tonight I close my eyes
And dream of the afterlife
Tonight I lay to die
And softly say goodnight

Frozen dreams 
Words echo in my ears distantly 
Can't be afraid of the dark 
Promises old and broken 
Lay in the shadows 
Jails hold me 
In my head 
The bars are so cold 
I freeze my hands 
Please these nightmares 
Let me go 
I've been here to long 
I became your home 
Drowning in past tears 
Judgements gate  leers 
at me with those angry eyes 
Let me untangle from these lies 
I'm innocent, not guilty 
Not to be blamed 
Yet I'm still ashamed 
I could've hid better  
This is my fault 
Locked in this vault 
I'm scared but have no fear 
I don't understand 
My own feelings 
I can't take back my past 
Every moment might be my last 
I should live 
But I'm not Alive 
I probably won't survive 
But I can never die 
This whole life scene is a lie 
And to say that I'm confused 
I really wonder why

Dear love , my dear
I hold you in my embrace
As the fire dances amongst the trees
Casting shadows on Decembers lawn
A blanket of chill
But it shall not snake it's way against your skin
While I
Hold you...
You ask me of my past
But my past is not my present
I have escaped
Its angry cloak
I would rather make moments to be
Remembered
Now
With you so soft
And small
A warriors bride
For you are glass with a core of steel
And your cracks always heal
Your brown hair
Curtains shy eyes
To insucure
To gaze at mine
Though I can feel you want to
Just let go
And let the stars guide you

Soul snatcher
Death breather
Eyes evil , blue
Soulless monsters
Dark forces
Do their biding
Blood on their hands
Skin, never seen the sun
Face splattered with blood
Hide behind your sheets
They walk your streets
They hear your heart beat
They'll be discreet
Close your eyes

Brilliant soul
Shone above them all
No prayers are heard
When they roam
Evil  feasts
Your alone
With the beast

Sleep is growing harder
Always the forest
Spirt tell me what you need to
I want to sleep again
It's been years since it happened for the first time
The dream had replayed ever night
The stables were on fire
They pounded after me
I was scared
Running from the snarls
And snapping of teeth
I ran into the flame swallowed stall
But I wasn't afraid
They engulfed me
And the sad eyes of a wolf
Looked at me from the other side of
The stable
Why child? Do you **** yourself?
It always
Ended in those words
I was scared to understand those words
But now years later
I run the forest through
Searching
Always searching
Until I can find them
The trees all bow to the ground
I was home
I could run freely with them
Why child? Do you **** yourself?
These words haunt me
As the wolves eyes burn me
I decide I will name the him spirt wolf
Sprit wolf take me home

I was afraid time had taken me
Farther then allowed, I would
Be trapped in this hellish dream
                                                             Forever
Unable to call for help because
Only I am here , all on my own
Caged and trapped with only my
Thoughts to hold in my sanity I
                                                                  Was
Scared to reach out my hand and
Feel the damp stony walls, I was
Scared of the deafening silence
That had swallowed me, it was
Too overwhelming it had been
                                                                   Too
Quite, almost as if I was being
Drown in noise, filling my lungs
Pushing against my heart, and
Blocking my throat, chocking on
It, there was the slight sigh in
The breeze of the air, where the
                                                                 Long
Pause broke through my body,
I was disintegrating slowly
Stuck here forever alone, no
One there with me, just the
Killing silence, my thoughts
and dreams

At the tip of my fingers
I wipe away your tears
Your pain lingers
It has for years
Always scared to close your eyes
Against the dark
But tonight ill be your guide
So follow me

Take my hand and place it to your chest
Warm beating heart
Beneath the moons crest
You said I love you
I said I did too
I just pray you won't hurt me
Because ill die if you do
Call me your love
Sing of the doves
A song about forever
A happy ever after
Just don't break my heart

You whisper in my ear
Sing to me my lyrics
Ever syllable I'd love to hear
Your magical in my eyes
Don't you realize

Take my hand and place it to your chest
Warm beating heart
Beneath the moons crest
You said I love you
I said I did to
I just pray you won't hurt me
Because I'll die if you do
Call me your love
Sing of the doves
A song about forever
A happy ever after
Just don't break my heart

And even if you leave
Off to fight in war
Ill wait for you to come home
And sing to me once more
Your life is in my soul
And your body left my hands
Your my soldier you must know
And you fight for our lands!

I can't think ,
my pen suspended above blank paper,
I can't put to words these jumbled feelings
I hate not knowing what to say
Hate not knowing the words
I need to let all my confusion out
I just want to creat the perfect poem
But I will never achieve the impossible
I want to write until my pen becomes dry
I wish I could put every word, verbatim as it enters my mind
But I can't, I wish I could put this down
But my pen doesn't press against the paper
Fireworks do not egnite as I write
No one wants to listen
No one wants to feel
How do I translate what I feel to words
I hate that I read over past written words
And feel pain exude
I want to write the perfect poem
I need to
But I never will, maybe my dreams will never
Be fulfilled, these words mean nothing
Only to me, only I feel these words
Only I hear me shouting these words
In a room full
Maybe wishes get lost
Amongst the rest of the unfulfilled dreams

My heart like dry wall
Vandalized by you venom paint
Cover the bruises

Only you don't leave
When you tell me you are through
What else must you take?

I have grown weary
Of being pried by your hands
Every single day

Please just leave me now
My ill beating heart can bare
No more of your tricks

Hello,
Is anyone there
I'm looking for someone
To take away this pain
I dream of a faceless monster
I cry in my sleep
Somedays I wake up screaming
Trying to get away
Please let me rest!
My throat is hoarse
I've been screaming for you to leave
And yet still you won't
Please god save me
Why are you let this happen
My tears have drowned me
My sorrows swim around me
I wish this wasn't me
But it is
Maybe my nightmares will fade
I can only hope

Click, Clack
Click, Clack
Footsteps echo

Darkness fleets
within the corners

Shiver, shake
turn and look

No ones there

Click, Clack
Shiver, Shake

Finger tips graze skin,
Paranoia within?

One step, One chill
One fear, One thrill

A shrill screech

A thunderclap in the distance

The lights flicker, flicker

Then go out

Breathe in fast

Breathe out slow

Heart beats a tattoo

Fingers clamped tightly together

Look left

Look right

No one in sight

"Your soul belongs to me,"

A whispered promise

Unwilling fear swelling into terror

Click, Clack, Click, Clack!

Footsteps faster against the floor

Where is the door?

Don't know anymore

Clap, Clap!

Lightning roars

The bolts shine through the windows

"You're mine!"

They scream

A frightened shrill erupts from clogged lungs

Cold clammy hands

Wrapped around a pale and creamy neck

This is the ghost of McBeck

Walk the aisle
On my way to death
Flowers hanging above the alter
Marry the truth
Divorce the lies
Hands holding a single black rose
The thorns twisted and sharp
The audience is dead
Watching me as I turn and bow
The groom lies in a crumpled pile
Drained of blood
The white carpet beneath him wet
With his last bit of life essence
Pushing back the black veil before my face
I whisper I do into grooms ear and smile
A wicked wedding
For a wicked bride

Through their eyes,
They only see what we show,
They don't see below,
They don't realize
That our hearts beat
But they are breaking
From all the hits they've taken
From all the defeat
They don't hear the strum of our guitar strings
They don't here the lyrics we cry
I wonder why
They never hear us sing
They don't see that we're becoming so helpless
As everything turns so wrong
By the chorus of the song
That this melody is regressed
They don't feel the sorrow that falls from our lips
Or see the tears we brush away
When the sun goes down at the end of the day
And we start to slip
They don't see that we are the broken ones
That hide behind words that can only mean so much.

At the break of dawn
the curtains are drawn
The doors are closed
The sidewalks hosed
The sun breaks the clouds
The music is loud
And the clowns wake up again

Put on their masks
to join the masquerade
Their pain begins to fade
When they hide
And quietly slide,
through the day

The jokers fallen
from the deck
The angels have fallen again
This world is never perfect
Not even in the end

Starry night
Stars in sight
Beneath the moon light
Eyes watery with forlorn sadness
Mirrors in the water
The small lake before me
Not quite still
My sad eyes
The key to my soul
I'm looking deep into them
What cause this pain
That has burried itself inside of me
Lowered head my brown hair curtains my face
It makes it a bit easier to look at my reflection
But whenever I dare the look
I feel angry
I hit the water with all my might!
But the water simply sloshes
Then settles back into is not quite still state
I feel like screaming
But I don't understand what's wrong
I only know that I feel disgusted with myself
I just wish that I could wash it all away
Wash away the pain the regret
My mistakes my flaws
My tears
My blood
I just want to restart
A new beginning
But my story has yet to end
I stand before the lake
And glance at the sky
Before I step into the cool water
And before I know it I'm summerged
I scream everything out
Until I run out of air
I kick to the surface
And take a deep breath
My throat already felt sore
But I could still feel the nagging anger
So I summerged myselfr again
And scream
Scream raw
Angry
Hurt
Ugly
Stupid
Not enough
So I scream more
Scream worthless
Failure
I scream until I choke
I scream until I begin to cry
Until I'm lifeless
I just lay thee out of energy
On the bank
Of the lake
Beneath the moon
And her starry eyes
I lay there and I just wish
It were all different
That I was better
That I was more