Smoke rings drift into the night with thoughts
seldom  understood and often remebred.
Gin a old friend to newly betray.
Left cold in warm waters,

Over the border trapped  by a tongue with unspoken
thoughts and empty emotions.
Dust apon the flesh seeps into the soul.

A page held close to heart and far from thought.
Sometimes we have to be *******.
Cause when in hell the whiskeys burn
seem's to bring a chill.

Fate is a evil ***** Ive grown to love.
No need to say hello.
When goobyes already a promise.

She's as vacant as the mirage.
repeating a action she
leaves that part of herself behind.

Holding onto the rage masked as passion.
We remain numb to survive.
*** void of love.
Shells lacking soul.

The dust takes to vein.
The pen rewrite's the past.
Why polish the edges to appear
that which you can never be.

Confessions of the hollow.
To reveal the ******* who thrives within me.

Were all crazy the dreamers the broken like children left
behind sad eyes are but windows  cast in pain.
that hurt we share as some will hide it away.

Ive taken the matter in deep thoughts and  echos of brillance.
Only to see it die as a spark  from cold winters fire.
Alone you here the sadness in the most gentle key.

As it wispers for the broken.
Down alleys side streets to lonley old souls
who yern just for someone to speak with to share but
are met with only rejection left to count the hours.

The clocks rythm taps slowey asking the emptyness to
waste in thought only to bask in dellusion.
Like a snow globe were caught in a vortex of a isolated storm.

Yerning for a release the bed is a coffin frozen are the covers
as the thought lingers if only it had gone another way.

But dreamers are gamblers and in the warmth of good hand theres always a lonley heart that had to fold.


The man in the street looks to other as others  look through him.
Afraid the curse may catch but in his eye's i see myself.
And  in myself  I see a victem of another bad hand.

Alone I know you in that place few will dare to search.  
The cavern of thought is but my asylum of  emptyness
And the clock's rythm keeps time in the key of night.

She takes my money and ses yeah ***** thats the way
it"s gonna  be.
Took her friends out bought the bar a round and
charged it to me.

Got some brass knuckles  she wears  around her
neck.
wears ten different Engagement rings.
I have to say I belive she love more  than
just me i do suspect.

She dosent care how I am.
She's just wants to know what I got.
Kicked my *** and lit fire to my dog.
God mean chicks are hot.

She couldnt  make are wedding  cause she
was to busy ridding with the hell's angles.
Came back with some new tattoo's hair
all in tangles.

Told me this is the way it's gonna be.
At  well over six foot.
It's pretty funny getting bullyied by a spitfire
Standing in heels at five foot three.

Slept with my sister and taught my grandma  
how to smoke  ***.
I shoukld get ******.
but mean chicks are just so dam hot.

He stared off into the distance a stranger to all including himself.
Often when men stand apon that ledge there is little to be said befor the leap.
We all joked poured drinks and passed beer's paying little are no true attention
like the word we mocked we were ******* far from friends.

I saw the thought and spoke nothing I cant stop a trainwrweck  yet i can always get a good view.
He knew like a sappy western sundown would bring death  in a lost stance.
Even with a slight buzz I always saw the view of destruction in a writer reason with poetic sense.

I gotta go there was no soundtrack to warn no ******* follows traggedy
only seconds were left a hourglass count began silent to drunks and in honest
verse none would care.

He handed me his last beer and without question I knew goodbye was not a question.
The chapter had been written.
dark clouds didnt set the canvas to what would happen are laughter matched the light of a early summers embrace.

The sirens i'll always remember the the sirens a invite to a choas coated scene.
The others only looked in that puzzled deer in the headlights moment.
Doc  as we knew him had left the party  drove a mile down the road  
and turned a relaxing friday evening to a day spoke about in often twisted truth.

What had caused it?
A woman as simple as that a fight over a married woman and between the
two neither was her husban.

At the scene it was a sureal event  a fight had broke out Donald  laid
face down in the yard a blood spattred bloated lawn ornament from hell.
And in the truck the man I knew as friend in only names sense lay slumpped over the wheel.

It's a strange thing to absord in one's mind movies are just ****** up lies.
And the source of this chaos went unscathed.
And like any small town it would be talk of every conversation.

And like a snowball from a fragment it turned into a story that held no truth.
And with time it was forgotten replaced by gossip's ever turning wheel.
All had forgotten but I never have for it replays like some ****** up theater act within my thoughts.

Yeah i hate that ******* id love to scatter his brains across the the floor.
the ******* of anger seldom faces the reallity's of truth.
Whats behind the dark glasses is  more than foder for a barooms laughter.

More truths are in jokes than a simple conversation.
Ive viewed the trainwreck often in my life.
But this is just one view into many of my life's backpages.

I often hide behind laughter.
And shield my reallitys to mask what none should understand.
You were more than a memory sorry I never did more.

Most forgot but I never have.

       Dedicated to Russel Bishop.

Better watch watcha do around the lab.
Dont let your hunch backed assistant play with chemicals.
Get your head out the coffin and your mother and law
off the slab.

For strange brew.
Can re animate old fiends.
And really mess with you.

One two three four.
You blink and from the grave rises more.
Yes your new discovery wont get your fellow mad
scientest clappin.
they just eat my neighbors oh well you reply.
Zombies happen.

They called out the national  gaurd seems ive created a mess.
People screaming what shall we do?
well run would be a good guess.

His worm filled mouth is open and i dont think
mr zombie wants a kiss.
people sreaming and running in terror shopping at
walmart has never been like this.

Uncle Walter after only seventy years its wonderful
thoose skeletal toes a tappin.
It's become wide spread so I must say.
My bad ya'll but zombies happen.

Blood on my hands doesnt wash clean as that from my mind.
in temptation we did bask for moments in despair I know
all to well.

A fool to imagine a ghost but in a less than empty room.
Sweet girl dont try to see beyond that which laughs befor you.
Im a shipwreck in low tide.
A vessel to long ive tasted  time in it's bitter affliction.

A page away from a traggedy a night less in thought.
Behind the mask you'll find no reason.
Strangers we shall remain togather in this bed.
My words nothing more than fragment of a driffters heart.

Black and white images sharp tell stories i do not
wish to share.
Wine glimmers in crystal by the fire's light.
Towards a lesser man you lean to fill a need.
****** of the pen bleeding in thought.

The night's end and a comfort does point without direction.
The shoe if worn isnt all it seem's to be.
Ive cast stones breaking emotions to uncover all
that isnt me.

Sharing less more than friction then with light i'll trace
curves never speaking in my lies truth.
Im a ******* but least im real.

They want a devils fire in trade of a moments
encounter to seethe picture for what it is  seldome is as
beautiful as dellusions of a dream.

Moments no matter there timeframe always stay.
like scars there forever on display.

I take pictures only in thought and paste secrets of beauthy apon
my minds cluttred wall.
Whispers of passion regrets I cherish so dear.
Shared a nights velvet inside more than thought.
Although in this moment i share space.
Im never truely here.

And in mornings light just maybe happines in thought.
leaves the warmth in the emptyness behind.
Althougth far from a companion in flesh within memory
you shall exist in this jaded mind.

From behind the bar I recall what led me here.
Not to see people fight over  spots on a board.
But to bring them togather as friends.
Not drive them apart as enimies.

To see the glass stay  full.
And the spirts to bring cheer.
Jokes hold truth.
As the jester I know pain.

Smells of perfume and smoke beautiful eye's
and that invisable desire.
We dance in hope of capturing life.

To embrace in darkness.
The page can never capture the passion
of two lovers spark.

From behind the bar  I see life
for more than what others belive  it is.
Jokes comfort as the flirt kisses  the ego.

Napkins written with numbers passed encounters
promised.
Some never to know the light of day.

Hungover friends  gather whiskey  laced
plessures  with a tinge of regret.
But life is one play  my friends  that no
single act shall we froget.

The drink sit's neat apon the bar.
You can see blindley for years.
And never know who people truley are.

Drinks as people dont last long.
They gleam the same under neon light.
So friends always mix them strong.

Never down this road did I sing within a tune
Never while I wandered
did I ever think of you
Ever as I walked, I ached right down to bone
Never once your name is whispered
Walking too far from home

Break the spirit spill the wine
flood the river before my time
You can't predict the future when you can't see the past
I yearn for the groove and the rest of the **** that will never last

Take me down I simply do not care
We rebound with others in which we simply do compare

The Summer is gone now
its here for you
Spring is my jester
now I'm playing the shrew

I'll keep on walking until the end of day
With no companion
nor fair sense of play
Just walking down this endless path
Not leaving a trace for others to mark

No telling story where I might have laid
No fleeting glory in this trek I've made
I'll not speak outside the lines
as I walk on down
this great divide

Sit you down with a drink to sip
but beware the bottomless of the cup
for degradation that way lays
as noted by walking
these endless days

Tomorrows a birch boy the **** never seems to end
Old friends past
no trace remains
Happiness is a grand disillusion so let's not pretend

In those pines down
in that humid breeze
is where the past does exist
Buired are my thoughts
somewhere unmarked
is the grave underneath the leaves

From Carolina to Brisbane the weather's different
and always the same
Words passed between poems stories are all just different solutions to the exact duplicate game

No one knows where the wind blows
driving needles from the pines into veins that are on fire
But we keep on walking
Bare feet on black tar
Walking on until we tire

young lovers know that traggic passion blind to failure
blind to everything that doesnt see them togather.
So in early morning passion just befor light.
they slip off togather dreams and hope taken along
for the ride.

long brown chessnut colored hair flowing out the window
along with are dreams.
A fence post marker the road togther holds
a certin magic it seems.

Love made from state to state
the waterfall to which we did race
skinny dippin togather by that old forgoten place
Your naked  beauty etched within my mind along with
the hapinees reflected from your face.

Broke down in blue springs Missouri.
Now i dont question why your eyes
were overcast with worry.

Apart the nightmare cant erase thoose nights spent
laying in blissful silence your head apon my chest.
Memories depend apon your view.
I 'll just kiss the that jasmine scented southern
breeze for the rest.

My darlin I ask fingers interlocked
with time my heart what shall be
are plan.
A tear touches that vision of a face.
As you recall the memories of when togather we
ran.

**** its a slow night !
Mike said from across the table nursing his coffee inbtween passing the flask between us under the table.

Jack you pick up many fares tonight?
Bout the usual drunks bud but no its not been the best night .

Honestly I was happy bout the down time I was nursing hangover and truly didnt feel like dealing with peoples **** .

Listening to Mikey was bad enough he loved to ramble on about old stories and hookers he had nailed in his cab .

I swear I think sometimes he lived in that *******.
He certanly dressed like he did .Wearing the same clothes from last week .

You guys ever actually eat or do you just exist off ***** stories cigarettes and coffee.

Hey Susan you know I only come here to be in your presence .
Yeah right Jack hey you got anything in that flask you passing back and forth?

Sure do sweetheart I said as she leaned over the table she took a hit from the flask **** near emptying it.

Id care but I was to busy looking at her cleavage.
Hey leave something for us ***** Mike piped up.

Yeah well thats the cost of your buddy here looking down my shirt .
And what wonderful view it is sugar I said as she refilled my coffee totally ignoring Mike as usual .

What the hell man you wanna piece of *** I can tell you.where to look but dont let that ***** take all are ***** Jack.

Funny thing is its never are ***** when I buy it Mickey.
******* man you know I would share if I had a bottle .
Yeah I really cant say bud never seen you ever have one you *****.

Yeah ******* man.

Mike never could handle being picked on.
Alot of loud mouths couldn't .
Mike was one of many but he was a good laugh on a ocassion and kinda grew on you after awhile course so does a tumor so he wasnt exactly my favorite person in the world.

Course I never did like people .
I saw all there worst sides driving them the drunks least were semi honest .

The yuppies never paid you any mind you were there ride nothing more.

**** Jack I ever tell you bout that couple a few weeks ago I picked up?
I knew mikes silence wouldnt last long.

No you didnt .

Hell man so I do a pick up at the Raven you know that dive off Atlantic?

Yep been there many a time .

Well anyways I pick up this couple let me tell you from they were making out on the sidewalk I knew I was in for a show .

The chicks got this hot as **** little black cocktail dress on .
******* guy barely can tell me the address cause the chicks all over him.

So I head to the address well no sooner Im heading down the road I look back in the review and this ***** is going down on him I mean she's putting a Linda Lovelace to shame back there.
No **** well I know your demented *** was happy beats a drunk passing out in the backseat ******* himself .

No **** sherlock mike replied .
Anyways Im like ******* enjoying the **** out of this fare .
So much so a figure why the hell not *******.

Are you ******* nuts?
How the hell you going to drive and ******* truly you are one sick **** Mikey.

**** hell man I'm a professional brother unlike you .
Really you got to loosen up and live or this job will drive you nuts .

Yeah like your sane I thought to myself .

Anyways she's back there going to town like she working a ***** scene .
Everything's feeling good but I just kind of lost myself for a moment
Swerved hit the **** curb .

And I hear this guy ******* almost scream.
See when I hit the curb she bout bit his **** off.

******* funny **** the guys yelling get me to the ******* hospital she's keeps telling him she's sorry.

But thats not all of it he's going off cause he cant figure out what he's going to tell his wife .

Aint that some **** and to top it off the ******* didnt even tip me.
I cant imagine after almost giving him *** change why he wouldnt want to tip you Mickey.

Oh like I'm some ******* for getting worked up watching this chick go to town on this guy.
Okay hotshot being your so more noble than me what would you had done so differently .


I sat looked at this fellow cabbie trying not to laugh.
Honestly mike .

I would have pulled over and left the meter running till she finished .

I never was much at multi tasking like yourself .

Fuack you Jack I heard Mike say as I left a tip on the table and was on my way out.

Be careful out there Jack I herd Susan say.
Dont worry sugar I always am .


Stay crazy .

Gonz

webcam video DrGonzo125

Yes youtube  will never be the same
cheers   my semi sober friends and stay crazy.

Look me up if you dare   ahahahahaah

Heres the link folks sorry for my madness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ANs4H5gWQ20

Hey it"s been awhile how ya doin like I care.
Writting little bits of misery isnt my style.
Drinking till dawn writting low brow poems is something
I do with such great flare.


John Patrick  you know the rest.
Never got a degree but i got something else.
more than a few times incase you havent guessed.

Turn off the lights i'll just use my hands to see.
Yes im way worse in person.
But ya know it just aint a party without me.

Were theres gasoline so should  there be fire.
Far from a saint.
But I have dated a couple girls who once sang in the choir.

You may won the contest but I really didnt lose.
cause you gotta ribbon and me  I gotta bottle of *****.

Guess who never paid attention in class?
I was to busy staring at the teachers.
Uhh miss hotness could i please have the hall pass.

Wonder what slowed us down  uhh probaly
when we hit that tree.
You know my friends it just isnt a party without me.

Hey folks they dont all have to be deep meaingful  im not nicknamed  gonzo for  nothing  cheers  my friends

Ego was the monster that drove you from my arms or was it just another's charm.
It wasnt poetic simply one lights fade to yet another act in a much to dim lit sidewalk's scene.
If you go I wont care so many bitter words stand are refuge of pain togather we shared
it if only for a moment.

Maybe it was a nightmare made possible from a dream.
Maybe it was nothing more than a glimpse at what was never to be.
I closed that door now it seems a shame to view these scars yet once again.

Please dont ever let me leave you.
I recall  you asked one of to many fargone nights embrace
I lie to say i could never recall.

Why did it seem like promises were empty as broken hearts games of the grown remain
evergreens of childs play.
Alone I allow you to invade my thoughts one last time.

Sunset from the shore always seemed empty just like are time togather.
Why must you haunt me still.
Watercolors fade still I recall that embrace.

Farewell my friend.

Pain is a burden to you no more.


Sometimes a turned shoulder  is all thats left of a deadend street.

I'll leave my resolution as she leaves her
tight black dress apon the floor.
In passion of a ***** tinted kiss.
we'll forget the times to follow if only
in are trainwreck splendor.

Two souls thirsting for contact.
Tearing at one another like children unwrapping
gifts from under the tree.

Plessure is a dream togather were caught willing
victims of a lost night and a years end.

As tommorows starts a year's slow decline.
In her eyes I need only a glimpse to recall.
The madness that was in the streets we
stole a nights most simple plessure.

A private partys afterglow is such a bittersweet
tressure we'll recall togather.
In the velvet of a embrace more than skin did connect.
Within thoose eye's the embers of that private
party for a breif moment does reflect.

As traces of reallity plague the return of the following
day.
One kiss tasting of devilish remorse I caught a whisper of love
But in a shallow moments thought just watched it
walk away.

It was in the summer we crashed  in a wreck of  awkward bodies.
Two drifters lost,
Togather found  a demented teenage passion.

Two junkies clean in a *****  thought.
A outcast a ***** far from labels in a rejects refuge.
Runaways stumbling in a confussed state.

We fixed only to share a sweet addiction her lips
still tatse a bitter sweet strawberry in my thoughts
erased I wonder did she ever know?

Broken wings tattred  love isnt always true.
Many can have the flesh few a womans soul.
The rain did keep a steady rythm in that abandoned car.

Tracks the needle  kisses of exceptance thirst we all
shall in time.
But that is but a watercolor  cast eternal
within the vault of my mind.

Held for moment I wonder did you fade cold.
As the epitapth  draws blood  from thought.
I can only ******* past  as you speak gentle in the harshness
of what was then a nightmare of  a love i relize now.

Sometimes  such treasure's are cast aside.
Lost souls embers of emptyness from this city.
And the backseat from which we did confide.

And if the lines did ever connect and i found you again.
fragments would recall togther it wouldnt  know
the truth of my minds lie.

I hold you in thoughts as once i did in arms.
  

I wonder  if only for a moment if you ever knew.
In the ****** up  backdrop you were the
one that knew me best.
A jokers thought addicts  in  nights gentle
dream.

Goodbye honey maybe now you can finally
the peace you so do desserve.

Old words empty page so distant we were.
Myths of logic the clouds loomed heavy I bask in the rejection as my flames have burnt themselves out I fear.

No chapter written, the end yet a scratch .
We spoke in riddles only to forget the reason now I find less ******* in are lies so long I have forgotten are truths.

Dark scenes no light from this shutter so does escape the day burdens of are nights cast stones to a soon to be outgoing tide .
My words the ghost haunted only in shadows sometimes we must bury are dreams only to see nightmares through.

No pain me breath in a faithless  embrace .
I no need for the stories so I will simply close the book.
Tomorrows a promise to the few and a reprise of extinction of my thoughts tonight.
Hate what you will never grasp I simply have grown to ignore it all the same .

A demented thought sometimes beats a million well intended lies.
Place your bets when the smoke clears I'll be there a little less left of the fool you once thought to know.

In the wreckage we stood in the moonlight now shadows we've become chase the rats away from the bones .
To many times I have chosen to exist a shell of the canvas can you still recognize what I no longer see myself?

We can **** in passion and thrive only within lust.
We can exist for today only to yearn for a image of what was never are past.

It will all have to fade sometime my dear .
Maybe we could ignore this but it's just not me to play it safe.


And when you find the edge will you push past or simply turn around?
Lit cigarettes linger as once did I there is always a part that should never be taken away .

In the moment we lingered as children afraid of the unknown .
then it was  s nothing more of you as always there was far less of me . .
**** the past it only serves a crutch to collect dust with bitter thoughts and run down as this half vacant room.

And in the silence we knew the answers to questions we never cared to ask.

The page is dry .

In tides.
Change is fierce monster often left in shades of a lamb.
No pressense more cruel than that known as love.
Can we lie only to make this illusion so grand not appear traggic in design?

We question are truths beliving are thoughts instead of asking the one beside .
May we share this space only to distance areselves a little more at a time.

Picking apart the reason as in any situation we just always seem to lose track
of what it was that brought us here to begin with.
Anger can only mask my fears so long.
If you never understand then you'lll probaly stand with many.
***** the numbers it's a losing game to speak of to begin with.

Cold as rain in a approaching storm we can ignore the truth
if only to embrace are lies for one last time.
When did I ever become the shell?
A stranger in the wings to my own half thought logic .

Time makes a fool of us all.

As for me I sit without thought for to fight what never will be is a thought of another
The wolves howl at night only to hear themselfs die.
Tommorow you sound of hope in a hopeless void.

People togather in doorways hide from the rain and sometimes find there
placement a blessing.
Some find emptyness a solice I could never explian.

No man could ever be described so simply in one line.
Myself I find a stranger  often ive seldom cared to understand.

Im far from the image yet close to the tale.
Maybe storms suit me well a gray sky to a ever distant wind.
Sands bury the traces yet a thought leaves it's mark.

No matter my past ive found eyes still find that dust ridden cover
**** my flaws for the subject is never understood.

For if Heaven were a endless highway id probaly be headed south.


I

The portrait never shows the time or pain behind every brush stroke are flaws so easily hidden in the beauty that stands before us now.

It's a slow death in the pages and
a world of torment so easily escaped in this room alone.

I can show any emotion so why must I stay here in the confines of this one .

Maybe we **** what we love the most simply to watch it die.
The innocence lost with time now the bitter winds flow so cold through the trees that once knew spring .

Can we see it for what it truly is .
The art we create and the happiness we sacrifice along the way .

Old paintings like tombstones are simply markers of a time the earth did embrace our existence.

And something I know longer can bare to view .

Sometimes when i say goodbye.
I wonder how I hold it togather befor
the phone touches the reciever.

Does she know the pain I mask.
Memories make us drunk with emotion.
Time makes us bitter from the cold.

And in the darkness she brings light.
Under the ice she creates warmth.
She kisses  the past away.

My shelter in which to run
If I choose to lead so does she follow.
Two halfs of one heart.

Weve walked across broken glass to lay
in a feather bed.
The nights passionet flow
her head apon my chest.

And how could I find one so perfect for me.
Distance takes the heart and traces the tear.
Such comfort brought from the understanding.
That pain would be erased if she were here.

Jules i see that next day as a promise
set in stone.
That from that first hello
we found in one another a reason to never be alone.

The highway rolls into the horizen
eternal is the love.

As a sun sets apon the ocean we stand
my arms wrapped around you waves crash into the shore.
In love I give everything.
For i could spend a lifetime here with you.
And still thirst for more.

With words we struggle to say.
What flows from the pen.
Also bleeds form the soul and that
shall never go away.

I created it cause i wanted  people to have a place to be.
To not know the emptyness that ive known most my life
I tried to tell jokes to fill the silence.

The bottle has been a constant friend to me.
And the darker side of life I know well.
Its time for a return.

No matter how ****** up we may be this is a family to me.
The Pub my virtual home thetime to clink the glasses has
returned will you?

Fond memories caught within a sound swirl like smoke rings
in my mind.
Dancing in the shadows of a empty floor.

Closed we are in thoughts times of past need to return.
She questions my words but I answer so very true.
Were actors in the play so overdue to end.

Bottles reflect a glimmer of a feeling I can no longer pretend.
the record skips only to repeat again.
The windows show another broken try,
Forclose the madness happiness for sale if you understand the lie.

I found it a chore not a plessure to speak.
Were togather in misery told to create yet persecuted
in the whim of another.

Broken are the  bounds I found nothing to hold true.
The butcher  takes the pen the writer has only to breath
to create.
Fight but what of the battle and its failure to end?

The storm has started
But ive gone inside a viewer to the insanity I refuse to play.
Sometimes you have to wipe the slate clean to start new.

The sound tells of a place I no longer wish to recall.

Bottles in brown bags clutter along the fence.
the citys inner chambers call to me even now.
The human relics the walking forgotten beaten by life.

The gutters tressures collect the remains
of another misspent night.
The air smells  of treachery a tinge of regret.

Why she huants my  heart a flawless escape.
we can leave but we take that moments sealed  plessure.
Silk encounters hash pavment of a empty embrace.

The old fool who's birthday he relives
only in hope for change.
I celebrate the ignored embracethe strange.

I wonder do young lovers dreams sail
out into that skyline eternal and free.
Or crash into reallitys rocks.
Leaving them jaded and bitter as me?

The bottle the lips you know better
than the once warm flesh.
Would she reconize the monster.
Or see the sad and helpless mess.

Apon the steps a bottle between perfect strangers and new
best friends.
Passed thoughts lost moments.
A busy streetlight on a empty road.

The hopeless and the charmed exist ina strange harmony
of the citys strange and beautiful tune.

I wonder will I ever know you again?
The angel with demonic lust.
Dreams are a blessing the curse is
only to pretend.

Farwell midnight hello darkness
dusk and sunsets of a yerning heart.
Apon that bench by the the water.
Watching the paper lanterns glow.
As in lost souls they so peacefully depart.

They always say write what you know but no reader would ever care to travel the roads I know so well.
The unwanted gather in vast groups to isolate.
My thirty days notice is now .

Insanity you claim maybe in this venture I know my ends pleasure to resist I know none better to reside just let me burn out with all the rest.

In code I speak if only you cared to decipher maybe I would give a **** to explain my dear.

It's been a good run.

There was nothing like a holiday to make me feel  alone .

I watched her move with the music she seemed anything but alone .

They say honey draws bee's and **** does flies well here tonight in this bar you had a good mix of both.


She moved shook her *** every eye was on her .

From the ones that yearned to know that body to the women who just shook there heads and under there breath whispered what a *****.

How marvelous she was underneath dimmed lights me I just watched and sipped a overpriced drink .

Hank was behind the bar for some reason he always found time to speak with me .

I have no idea why I truly didn't care for people I just was in need of a drink and didn't have anything at home.

Man some looker over there huh buddy?

Yeah she's got a magnificent *** doesn't she ?

Yeah little big though for me Jack .


Never been one invented to big for me .

Hank laughed yeah that's true hell and never one to loose either.

What can I say Hank I'm a man of low standards and easily Impressed therefore I'm seldom disappointed .


Your one crazy ******* you know that ?

Hell I never forget that hank how bout a refill my man and by are entertainment a drink on me .

Hank went to fetch my Jack and coke and give the girl with the nice *** a drink although I doubted she needed one from me seems every guy in this place was buying her drinks and from her looks I understood why .


I looked around the room the usual's were all there and a few new faces I didn't truly care I was to them the odd ball drunken writer what a rare spices that is indeed .

Almost as rare as a fireman who smokes or is bat **** crazy .

When there's no fire to put out the nut would light something on fire just to have something to put out guess we all need a purpose and me I just need another drink.


The jukebox just kept playing the right kind of music and she kept in perfect time with the beat .

Rhythm  is always in the hips it flowed from there and took over it was some perfectly strange and beautiful  voodoo to watch.


The pool players missed shots and the place seemed almost alive.

Eventually a fight would break out now that was some entertainment .

I sipped my other drink hank was a good barkeep and total **** at mixing drinks

he started watering them down bout the third real drunks always notice .


**** Hank why not just give me all coke!

Make it a double always in mine you ******.

Hey Jack sorry must have been distracted.

Well stop staring at Larry's *** hasn't he told you he don't swing that way anymore since college.

Larry who was bent over the table making a shot just laughed .

**** man I never went to college Larry replied.


Yeah your right it must have been prison I knew I recognized you from somewhere .

The room busted up laughing ******* Jack .

Larry said laughing .


The room was alive the ***** was flowing .

Tommy walked up to me man you see that that chick dancing man.

I got two eyes don't I Tommy?

Well I been talking to her man I bet you fifty bucks she going home with me tonight.


Oh yeah Tommy she cant resist you huh?

**** man who could?

Been buying here drinks all night I can tell she wants it you see

the way she was rubbing up against me that last song .


Well you must have done something Tommy in fact seems you really worked her up .

What the hell you talking bout Jack ?

Tommy asked me as that goofy as expression was yet again upon his face.

Tommy was a arrogant *** in every sense he thought he was hot **** and when you took the hot part out of that statement you had his more true essence.


For as Tommy was facing me bragging I had been watching that little brunette the whole time.



Well Tommy I said , it seems that girl you danced with was so worked up she just couldn't wait for your return.

I don't get what you mean Jack.
Look I nodded my head he turned to view what  would in his mind be his latest conquest  making out with another woman .


I herd him say what the **** .

I took another sip of my watered down drink .

So Tommy I asked as I patted him on the shoulder .

Still want to take that bet?


And another night bit the dust .

Stay crazy


Gonz

For so we stand in thought reflections of the poet know are truths .
the page will be are immortality my friend let others stand to know only what they can imagine are the truths between the lines.

Words know no strangers I drink to your thoughts a fool amongst many .
You see the light for it's fade and it's perfection sunset left untouched .
In the ocean furry the bloodwood's stain a glimmer of that which I see only through eyes of your page I know a highways infinite divide .

take me to heart and keep me in soul leave me in the darkened corners simply take me to the party and allow me to view friends not yet my own.

My friend words are all that is of me but friendship is a cool breeze known on the hottest day .
Never know a stranger when you speak my name .

I existed in night chasing those hours until the dawn.
Embraced in the depths of insanity the plague breaths a harsh
taste left bitter in the wind .

Tortured by days we follow what asks nothing.
She moved a haunting scene in the chaos .
How often we desire what will destroy us so very easily.

Frost to the rose a death in the spite of life
Often we consume with no care to the aftermath .
Do the ignorant see more only to turn a blind eye than those who yearn?

And you can trace my steps but never walk the same path.
As I simply never desired to know another's it will only be a moment but the scars remain.


Its never a test for the game was ******* to begin with .
They will never grasp the life beyond the sunset can we simply part
and pretend.

Understanding is sympathy I do not need.
This ride alone is beyond its view and something far more toxic
then I ever care to share .

The dawn is almost here so I bid you farewell.
This is my existence a shipwreck somewhere invisible  from the shores view .

You cannot play with the page for it cares for none and asks all .
A ***** for the thoughts it leaves just the same .

Perfectly vacant was the sunsets view .

In burnt out scenes I lingered like some old lab rat or some apocalyptic cockroach glowing in the dark and still existing in this modern wasteland.
Vegas is an illusion 1 billion bright lights shining out in the distance with no true soul or depth.

She was the past and I was too old to look  back.
Or maybe just too jaded my ego too big to fathom her ways.
You are a mystery a unwritten story best left untold no true emotion and an endless supply ******* to keep you warm.

There is solace in isolation a madman's prison the paradise to troubled thoughts I had everything my drugs my ***** my addictions serve me well.

And as for you my dear.
I will see you tonight rapped in lace and bound by secrets.
I will see you for only the way you choose me to see you.

There are no true answers  to questions only more stories.
And she was a chapter unto herself passion, hatred, love, all things she had learned served her as my addictions suited me.

We would meet again for fools in the storm often take shelter anywhere they can.

I never wrote a mystery until I met her.

Standing upon a empty stage underneath a lone spotlight.

In smoke rings half filled glasses guilty vices filled underneath the darkness don't forget to tip your server.
The devil thrives in the empty hours, it was designed to drive you insane in these thoughts that haunt you for eternity.
I'm alone with you now take it for what it's worth.

Where do you lines separate?
Where do we say here's where it stops, here's the barrier between my life and you.

I have driven myself on pills and other assorted drugs displayed my existence the demented soap opera for your entertainment.

I am the closest you can come to the razor without feeling the blades cold burn.
Read in comfort while exploring the depths I'm worn from the play.
Squeeze the wound only to gain one last bit of soul upon the page.

As the wolves ask all can we quench this thirst, giving  no regards to ourselves?
I exist on the other side of the window pane.
A stark reflection of the tragic flaw no one should understand better than I.

For their are little rewards in others gain.
They hand you new vices to replace all for which they have stolen from you.
For other's see delusion as a dream, they admire you yet offer you lust in place  of depth.

And the flesh is a favorite vice of mine when lights are always turned low.
You may grasp the keys to your own prison, hold the bars in place of friendships.

Was it all an act?

My friend you tell me.

Old pictures paint false delusions I wonder why no one has ever captured mine?
Tears are nothing to empty hearts, guess it pays to be a ******* than a dreamers second chance.
I buried my thoughts in a shallow grave.
Only to unearth my soul upon this page.

The lit cigarette and yet another empty bottle of *****.
We fumble in desires bound by shackles formed by a ever present need.
Tonight she lusts for another yet settles for me.

Her empty room is better than a cluttered prison of your own creation.
Her taste of strawberry doesn't damper my burn, contact of the flesh isn't a connection of soul.
Simply a reflex of addiction and mine knows no end.

The furnace burns through the night yet can't kindle this flame.
Some **** is better left dead!
Her poison knows no antidote I simply revel in this decay.

Remorse is for the weak the cigarettes light glows from her presence from the edge of the bed.
She looks at the shadows on the wall casts from the cities night.
As she wonders does he want as she?

There are many forms of emptiness, and far too little definitions of being alone.

She lingers in thought for only a second, and then she is gone.

Im so ******* tired it pains  me to dream
of a promise of tommorow.
The past held moments  Im a dreamer without vision.

A mud puddle reflecting many thought's *******
up and so very unclear.
The bottle's company my only true friend.

They see me as nothing but a fool.
I hate the prison  that has become
my soul.
The state fair trinket broken hearts
and cotton candy.  
A fargone memory in the lifeless
air.

I could play the role or act the *******
Ive slowley become.
Pull the trigger and paint the legend.
Free the fool and cast the sunset of my days.

But im addicted to there praise.
Slave to exceptance  losser to the big win.
Have the courage to show your face.

Goodbye for now .

Daddy's little princess such a tarred delusion in white.
Let's forget all it's only between me and you and the page tonight.
False hope's and new found delusions  let me slide this hand up that skirt .
Maybe it's wrong but what could feel more right.

You wanted to taste the edge so I took you to the razor.
embraced are sins and found new freedoms sweetheart was it as wicked as you could have ever imagined?

Maybe I'm the worst but it wasn't what you clawed into these shoulders last night.
Cheap moments wasn't it a hell of a time.
Matchbooks of places road stops of emptiness wasn't it a dream that new a nightmares embrace?

If you need a friend it wasn't in the cards but torment is truth mired by *******
can I interest you in one last fix.

Sweet nothings weren't on the menu but the passion could have burnt us both.
I hold no remorse but understand every scar holds a memory I wont bother you with that greater good speech sweetheart it's simply goodbye.

A quick slap beats a broken desire the magic was pure no matter the cancer we shared
in backseats and empty nights regression.

I recall you although I would never admit .
Every scar I treasure for sometimes your the one that I can never forget.

I'll wash it away and hopefully for you it will be something better not to have been.
**** the stories the page always makes us bleed in the end.

Paper cuts are that and nothing more.

I sat there lost in that strange magic the music the scene perfect in its semi empty smoke cast brillance .

We were all lost together .
Jack you still writing ?
Tommy asked from behind the bar.

Well I'm still breathing so i suppose so my friend .

Tommy just laughed grabbed the bottle poured me another .

Dont worry Jack this ones on the house .

Oh to what do i owe the honor or do you know something i dont know Tom.

Just figured you needed one besides its valentines day you old ******* and seems as though your Valentine is missing.

Yeah couldnt afford her and i think her dance cards all full that and she seems to prefer someone with a bigger box of chocolates.

Maybe you should of tried flowers and champagne.
Yeah and maybe i should of tried being something besides a drunk writer to **** Tom .
Why try when you can pay

I  know your girl Jack your to ruff on her she's not a ***** .
No your right she doesnt charge .
And a real ones much more honest.

Tommy and some other stranger i forget his name laughed.
Man your nuts .

**** your seeing him on a slow night you should see him when he's really cranked up.

Richard at the pool table behind us said between shots of a solo game.

Tommy pour me another .
Jesus Jack you finished that one already you know this isnt a race.

Yeah i know but maybe its just the love in the air I have no idea just pour me another make it a double.

Just then that heavy steel door slammed into the wall the couple was happy laughing well untill he noticed me and and told the woman who was supposed to be at work.

That awkward oh **** look in her eyes .
Tommy I shouted a round for valentines day on the ***** with my favorite street walker .

Jack calm down or I'm going to have to ask leave .

They both walked to the bar once giving how I had already set the mood i had to give them a nod for having the ***** to not just turn tail and run.

I stood up hey pal names Jack I can see we have some things in common like ****** taste in women .

Jack we'll just leave i didnt know you'd be here im sorry.
Yeah a writer in a bar bet you would **** yourself to find a nun in church

Hey pal want to take my seat being you seem to like things that belong to me hell want the keys to my car .

******* your nothing but a drunk .
Lets get the hell out of here Susan.
Maybe its best you all leave for tonight Tommy said .

No no Tommy I think i will leave hey buddy i didnt catch your name .
Oh wait i forgot i dont give a **** .

She stood between us I only hoped he'd swing giving me reason to knock the pure **** out of him .

But It wasnt over her I had long learned you couldnt waste a ounce of concern on another who only cared for themself.

Susan was lost in herself a confussed misreble fool.
Who could never find another who loved her as much as she loved herself.

I laughed in his face he showed his fear i knew soon as i was gone he would inflate his chest play the badass.

I never played a role .
Well Tommy and my fellow drunkards i bid you farewell .

And to the fool and the lady please allow me to set the mood .
And at that very moment i cut the biggest **** you ever herd .

The room busted up in laughter .
I breathed it in oh Tommy my friend it seems loves in the air.

Yeah Jack smells more like **** .
Yes kinda like love my boy .

Your disgusting Susan said ****** i had made everyone laugh taking the attention from her for once .

Who said romance was dead.

I kept the room laughing as I sang  memories all alone in the moonlight letting a burp out inbetween.

The door slammed behind me.
And as always i was myself not the character

Never allow them to see past the curtan.

Stay crazy.

Gonz

Old friend and familar demon can I offer you a drink?

Watch the fire fade in winters decay and **** all hope filled tought's.

Does the fall find you empty as my jaded soul?



Another round ?

Will you stay to see me erase all that used to be who does stand's befor you now?

Will you vanish like friends who get a glimpse of the dark that is masked in light?

So many questions to many vacant thoughts and a fires crackle is it cold being on the outside

most all your life.



A homeless sense and a stranger in every crowd.

You served me well but times coming for us to part.

This road i can't take you as so many times befor.



Empty bottle and erased reason im a driffter in endless times of nothing true.

Maybe this time i'll rid myself of the misery ive often so embraced.

Old dog's seldom run far unless to keep you from a death's view.



Sometime's you just cant pull it togather anymore.



Headlights give a view ive called life for far to long

Im tired  but always no matter how far I run

I cant escape you.



I drink one last and toast the emptyness ive become

A spark although bright must always fade.

Life but a season and time a slow count to sure end.



It seems this time the jokes on me.

There is no better freedom then  in this highway and the thrill of a willing soul beside you before your nights end.
Maybe we thirst for the attraction of something strange maybe its just the thirst to feel something at all.

A razors sting and a steady breeze the highways marker leaves my epitaph no visitors need darken this place for I have long since outgrew  my coffin so long ago.

Taste it with me my dear for nothing goes better with agony than a good dash of simple lust.

Strip clubs and the most elegant neon light I hold my glass to view it's reflection sometimes we all lose track me I find more solace in a dead end street than laying beside another as empty as me.

We viewed the wreck a wicked pleasure we knew it was destined we simply didn't care .

Maybe I'm the one who finds comfort of the depths a train that cuts the nights silence so haunting yet peaceful all the same.

Burnt out promises and one night stands faces change yet the reflection although aged still shadows my past my friend how have you been,
And are you still tortured as I?

When there gone is almost as empty as when there here .
Enjoy your company and speak without the ******* that so many others choose to spawn in such well intended lies .

I pass my hours alone a bottle and my thoughts a highway always before me .

Paradise is was in the moments like old photos they haunt my thoughts as they cling to faded walls of sentimental fools none such as misplaced as I.

Dim lit confessions so tragic the flaws .
Nothing shines as beautiful as a  match within a vacant room.

We are reflections of the embers and nothing more .
So ****** up and so perfectly flawed by design.

And then there was a silence that spoke deeper than any words ever could.

Its the end I never cared to write the distance to great and still within my reach.

My road now is traveled alone and I simply check still to see if your there.

The mind is the worst prison of them all
all
My thoughts far stronger than the iron bars I view the outside world has become a stranger now.

I know my truths and see your path separate .
A man can only take so much and I have died many times only to return a little  less than what I was before.

Nothings left now tell me where we go from nowhere ?

Another midnight drive looking for what I can never find.
Old pictures captured emotions I just can't stand to bleed these lines.

Maybe it catches you when none other can see.
And the scar we bare together .
You view alone shed a tear and recall .

All I know  is my page is coming to its chapters close.

We chased many a sunset kid.

And I am left with nothing else to say.

And so in shadow I cast the light aside to conceal my truth.
The clone of another given no remorse will you forgive a torture cast lie?
I have no pain only a burden of half empty regret.

A streetlight's courage a trail of the alley dare we view areselves for the imperfections.
And give little reason towards a jaded view.
Im the other that never understands a life I cant exist for you may we suggest
someone more fake to guide you there?

Broken bones and wicked thoughts embrace my vessel called this dark soul.
Drown in your demons lets cast are chances in a tender hell's fire.

Chaos my brother and for his friend reason Ive lost everything that tends to ******* care.
It's better to bury your thoughts befor other's dig them up.
Times a ***** that seldom waits.
In the darkness it's a peaceful rampage.
Lets forget a future and **** are past.
Give in to my sweetest addiction fire often leaves us yerning for more.

The path is there tracks the arm  to  forget your flaws.
I ask no quarter for I will exist till a bitter end.
Cast stones towards thoose who care.
And drown in the truth of madness I have no time to
pretend.

It lingers in my reason and I hate it as lovers **** the pressent to
bask in dellusion.
Mock me if you must and see the emptyness thats been painted gray as
storm cast evenings reprise.

Pulled in seconds it will all be clear.
You can never understand what has never truely been here.

Into eye's I see distant reflections of that person
only they see.
The jokes told,lies shared,soul's in rapture over
the iced hell.

The forms fill my thoughts yet never  trouble my mind.
That embrace of emptyness.
She can never understand.

******* we are  selfish giving to all.
Not sharing with a soul.
I cannot conform to a life not my own.
Bitter the king hold's court.
With a jester apon his throne.

How can I yern for thoose eye's I shall
never fulfill.
Act's of one are pale to the truth of none.

Were the addicts that which we may never score.
Lost in the promise blind to reality's lie.

Broken is the heart I've  taken from myself.
To shun the happiness on a single chances wealth.
The eye's in the darkness cut through me never seeing
the man beyond the words.

Burried in a agony of endless guilt.
Contact of another isnt the reason.
Bliss is moments to **** the pain.

Caught in my vices like a fool slowley going
insane.
The lights cast shadows yet it's me who's
hiding.

Punchline's  and simple flirts season's  in
hell.
A vacation underneath a darklit sky.

I stand frozen in life free of form.
Lost as any leaf apon the waters of a oncoming storm.
Battles in soul losses in heart.
Togather in madness.
As strangers we part.


Bleeding to death living for seconds.
Sharp in contrast unclear in time.
She cries for the man  and  ignore's the stranger
he's become.

The eye's remain blind.
Seeeing as illusion.
Living as I die.

She ended are chapter and i started the page pouring the soul in the cracks of a illusion .

Covering over are truths to erase are lies does the sunset hide all its beauthy?
Do rains flood lands to bury the wrongs once shown clearly as scars bleached by sun now decayed within darkness.


You can never own a moment claims of the vain are but attempts to hide the harsh reality.

I never let her see through my eyes as i will not allow you to know the man beyond the page.

Whatever you imagine is far more than what i will ever be .
Leave me hollow to fill in the expectations .

I wrote her out
she walked away

The story is a creation .
Life inspired me in some other way.

Nothing hides your pains better than a simple mystery.
She read my words when at that moment she abandoned remorse.

Art is best veiwed from a distance.

Edges best remain sharp .
And the reader a excepted intrusion.
Nobody wins today

Hey John  dam it's been long so what do ya do these days?
Well I write  do stand up comedy.
Wow like your not even funny and you were always so shy I cant imagine you doing that.

                                                   Another Person.
Hey wow this is a really deep write who would guess the comedian could write so deep.

                                                 Yet Another

Hey you know your jokes really arent family friendly.
Some of them were really offensive and you should really stop talking about so many taboo
subjects maybe stop being so vulger.


                                      A Person I Knew When I Was A Kid

Hey man have you changed remember how you were so shy and didnt fit in
Its so great to see you trying so hard do you work i mean a real job cause that writting stuff and comedy is
okay for fun but you gotta grow up sometime JP is it okay to call you JP.
I mean we herd how you dont like being called that anymore but we always called you that.

                                                A So Called Friend.

                                              Hey you ever hear from John?
  Oh well probaly just off being weird what a loser man he thinks he's funny.
                    **** maybe funny looking what a stupid ******* .
                                                Hey John!
Man i was just talkin about you what you been up to dam it's good to see you.



                                                      A Stranger That I Made Laugh

                                                         Hey wanna drink?
                          You must keep people around you laughing all the time.

                                                     Sometimes Ignorance Is Bliss

Part One

                              A  American Madman's Farwell

I was fried from the scene in LA the lights the fake women with the perfect smiles and quick to jump in bed mentalities that if thinking you were a casting director were all to eager to sell there souls .

The were twisted insane drug addicts maybe that's why I had grown to feel at home amongst them and there demented ways.
I had grown numb to the excess the high quality drugs and all night binges .

My mornings were like rising from the dead more agony than pleasure
I found even now to arise from the crypt it took far more than a stiff drink and a good **** I had to dam near summon a voodoo priestess to bring me back to the living good thing even the masters of the occult all desired to be famous and were already here .

Everyone was after the fast track that quick fix and I was just after yet another story.
I was just another snake in the garden all to eager to take advantage of the first opportunity to strike the innocent then leave them with a expensive habit and some cab fair in the morning .

I sat there as I do now ice in glass bottle on the table frustrated in need  of something more one last adventure was on the horizon .
And my sights were set on the land down under .

Were the heat and mystery surrounded my thoughts where the page could breathe and my thoughts could  take flight one last time .
I sat there a addict in need of another fix one that only a finally dose of adrenaline and adventure could curb my desires .

My choice was made long before my bags were packed.
and few lines and some stiff drinks were all I desired to see this road to its end .

I paid my bill packed my **** and was ready to be lost .
L.A. was a mistake always willing to happen and a new Atlantis destined to be at the bottom of the sea .

I was buckled in  and blown out of my mind as the 747 blasted from tarmac bound for escape pointed towards the sky .
I was higher than Jesus and bound for a story that would be far beyond the depths of my own madness .

Sir would you like a drink ?
The stewardess asked me when we were stable within the clouds.
You can fill in the blank when it comes to my reply .

Just make sure it's a double .

Please fasten your belts ladies and gentlemen the madness will begin shortly .

The cards have been played jokers once wild were part of a strangers fate.
The sudden ends promise seemed a fitting end to a sad play.
As in love were pawns to a changing emotion as restless as
the wind that blows off the sea.

Monster's my dear exist even within me.
Addiction has taken passion I can no longer love as in the page.
Suicide take's the person as in thoughts i'll blur the image.

I'll write the end only to erase my past.
Will they understand?
My solution was a bitter end and a finale  and retreat.

Anger doesnt understand the endless rage.
Empty thoughts from the shallow page.
Ive seen it clear apon a night cast with my demons fog.

The edge is past reallity will splatter me in a lifeless pile.
Madness greet's the creative mind.
As sanity clings like a mother to
her son waitting for the war.

Ive long over stayed my welcome now I embrace
the finale chapter.
The candle's flame was ment only to consume.
The moths will second to it's nature.

A burst of flame then a slow fade into the ash apon the floor.
Empty eyes of a child hearts never  stay broken.
We understood the play as traggic befor the closing act.

laughter my card a gift ive left in your heart.
Erased from sight I question the desire.
The edge wasnt there untill it was past.
Seems some were never ment to last.

The page laughing at me the canvas cold and blank.
Winter filled room in the middle of june.
Why had my heart run a ground on such jagged shores.

Now I scavage for remains of my soul.
ragged I wonder would anyone remember me apon my return.
Would she stand smile apon face and regret in heart.

The page stayed empty for a reason.
They were all gone the great titles along with there writers.

Me the fool brave or foolish enough to  attempt the
impossible  with little to show for it.
A broken relationship and some bad tattoos  in
some  weird places.

To be stuck down in a  hollow .
Is fine  with suplies low and the truth a sober mind brings
time was ticking the false deadline was apon me.
And like a kid trying to cram in every answer on a school test.
I was stuggling  waitting for the teacher to say times up.

Hands shaking from the need throat dry  and a headache
that would last for a week.
Why had it always come to this  isolation.

Maybe it was the roads way of calling me back.
Like a lover calling me back to bed.
To entangle untill the mornings light.

Yet just like a passionet affair the struggle for the title
kept me trapped to this place for nights on end.
You cant grasp what is never yours its
like trying to see that sweet southern breeze.

Everytime you find  one with which your heart agree's
You find the titles taken.
life and love will always  bring you to your knees.


This is taken from what will be my first book
once through many long gin soaked nights is finally at it's final stages
and thank God cause it's been hell.
as of  now the title will be The Road Begins ?
Hell my friends if you can think of a better title to describe my writting feel free  to let me know   Always your slightly crazy  friend John Patrick Robbins

Sometimes you gotta get lost to find the emptyness of the true soul.
Bury thoose memories  to unearth old truths.
Cut the ties only to return to thoose past relations.

Ive seen the streets erase the picture only to relive the past.
Living ghosts a backdrop eternal.
I cant question thoose night's regrets like a blanket keep me warm
on a  humid night.
When all is wrong why cant anything be right.

I'd never  curse you utter truths into your lies.
Tainted encounters in many ever changing rooms.
Neon lit dream's  sunset of my mind salt water taste the
bitterness we love.

The mountain's veiw is empty and cold.
Have we lost the the spark.
Iced over thoughts leave only shallow promises
to hold.

So I'll push you away only to hold the memory dear.
A coward  to live in the pressent.
A living ghost of the man  who once stood here.

I've lost track gone so far from all that ive known.
Sparks in the darkness.
Only illusion  paint's the reallity sanity grace me life
once more.
I question has it vanished with my time?

Im a caged animal befor my set.
Get to close and you'll understand why a starved animal is the most vicious
animal there is.
It's not a release its a war a battle to the death between me and all.
I care little for thoose who've stood befor this is a a fight between me and them and
I have no desire to be nice.

Safe never belongs in any form of art.
The eye's the window i see all to clear and as always i only focuss on one
for theres such a seduction in the moment there laughter a drug and  as she laughs above the noise that sense of wrong at such crude logic she bite's her lip and togather we connect.

Moments we share will only be now as like a fire's glimmer what burns bright will all to fade.
And my job is to make you never forget.
It's the romance of the stage the nights illusion that is my true poisen and i drink with no regard's of tommorow.

If you pick apart why you''ll never grasp the now.
I thirst for life and never give thought to death.
It's only the people who worry who sink to the bottom.
Drown in thought and you'll embrace reget as a empty lover .
I preffer much warmer company myself.

From the light I wish only to embrace the dark.
I see the eye's and always view the one pair.
thoose that linger in laughter that have forgotten all but me.
Like some vampire in a black in white film I draw them moth to my ever jaded flame.

I force the laughter in that awkward moment fill the silence and make the night something more than it truley is.


***** the velet of passion give the friction of summers hot backseat
Take the moment ***** the wait!
For to hold back is to fail and failure sure doesnt feel
good as a after partys release for two.

Of the chatter and drink orders  I take that which i desire.
Why live in  reget when you can bask in release.
Have you ever truely tasted the freedom ive known?

Be herd now for  tommorows a promise is often changed to well intended  lie.
Command the crowd or the ocean will swallow you up as a lamb.
Anger ,Rage ,Happiness , I dont care as long as i get a reaction.

For in this game i never play it safe.

In the eye's of other's I read the reactions like a higways map it always tells me where the edge will be.
And I yern not only to take you there I'll push you over it going right with you laughter mocks the crash
as we understand  its all just for the hell of it care to come with me?

Strippers, Drugs,******,Hookers,You want apple pie and pickett fences
you've taken a a fatal wrong turn.
I'll burn the devils *** and embrace the flame only to smile  and vanish just as the night befor.

I would rather get a slap across the face than a gentle pat on the back.
It's not just a act it's just who i am.

And when it's over you'll either love me or hate me.
But one thing is for ******* sure you will never forget me.
For behind all the *******  when others  remove the mask you'll learn.

It's just who I am.

Anyone can joke  but few can make you truely
question what just happend?

A storm from afar is perfect chaos but nothing can compare to
riding it out in the choas.

Safe is not a word I'll ever be.

Shadows Apon The Floor

Music within the air memories to
heal the bitter soul.
The sounds of the past come to life
in rock n roll.

The lights from the stage.
Cast ghost's of many.
Taking us all past the pressent.
To a perfect timeless age.

Nights of passion that exist evermore.
Casting the sprits magic.
dancing with the ghost's light's
casting shadows apon the floor.

Secrets of lovers and new best friends.
We kiss blindley taseting the magic.
For that moment all is real no
one pretends.

As the night flows like a curtain apon
a gentle southern breeze.
From the floor to the legend
this night does ease.

We write are own chapters all
ading in lifes book.
Regrets should be few.
For out of this night as much as we gave
we also took.

Hearts entangled memories forever
do we adore.
Dancing with ghosts of lovers past.
Keeping time with the shadows apon
the floor.

I never watch them leave .
You must remain a ******* to exist amongst the sharks.
But there's always the scars of a jaded mind to allow you the replay.

Dark nights always find me .
Where those memories reside the tomb stands in the cemetery I just seldom cast my view there anymore .

The fire never leaves you it remains to mock your current efforts.
And the great question seems far more right than wrong when dealing with the years of rejection.

I wonder am I alone ?
I wonder does the path run forever will my luck run out tonight ?
Kiss the wind as it casts embrace upon others.
Let the storms destroy them all and allow you to remain.

We are all locked within the asylum some just laugh to hear themselves think.

Old books give older answers to such simple questions .
Take her while she is waiting never think twice bout the moment .
A good bottle a darkened room.

I find solace in the silence .
Inside I'm always laughing to.

Hey kids wanna hang out at the real pub where theres a chat actual music and videos pic's

well heres a link  I created this site for everyone to come hangout and have fun its a private invite only site but all who are interested are welcome

drinks always on the house heres the lnk hope to see you there soon.

  
http://poetrypub.ning.com/?xgi=3bEAxx9k3lLvi0

She said nothing simply left the scene knowing with a closed door a chapters end was all left between them both .
The haze that had become his existence had destroyed the man and forged a demon no love could ever maintain sometimes the easiest thing is to continue when the end lingers a footnote to the chaos all that remains is a image no longer a the man .

Darkness is a ocean and you can only dive under so many times till you lose the reason for a return.
The fires of passion often are mired by a fix.

The edge is but a marker please do not follow me any longer for this abyss is a vast space with little remorse for the innocent .

In a wreckage you may leave me but tonight I could give a **** less .
Sink the vein and taste a fire that is replacement for the warmth in this endless winters chill.

Soon the hands will no longer count his hours simply mark the date.


She closed the door but never locked the memory away on nights like these they breathed in regrets of a shattered past.
Lingered as smoke rings in a half empty room.

There is no stopping a train destined from jumping it's tracks .

Simply let it pass howling into the night sparks from the rails a madness with no room for any so keep your distance or taste it's wraith.

Sink the needle and understand the shadows as a fool such as I.

Never Stand in the way of a man and his demons .

For beneath the surface you will find a darkness that can consume you
both.

Never regret closing that door my dear.

for a taste of fire is but a false promise and I was only lost in myself

Please never regret simply sit in the dark and know the emptiness as a fraction of a moments bliss .

That once was you and I.

The night's music speaks so haunting lingers forever even when the flesh has became cold.


And so shall the door remain closed .

After the smoke clears from this room.
Will question why.
As you push ME into  the depths.
As I lifted you from your self appointed gloom.

So take his hand cause happiness has another
name.
You can close your eye's.
but it's never the same.

Can we ever forget that which we did
not understand.
you hide the pain.
But secrets dig into your soul
like barbwire in hand.

She ran with what wasnt supposed to be.
Sweet suduction it was in such devlish fun.
To bad it was so very clear to all but me.

Under covers bodies without thought collide
locked in the passion of night.
Taking flustrations out in plessure.
You appear as a vision get your fix then vanish from sight.

Cheating the heart fractrued given to two.
You question  with lies.
As I yern to hold the woman I belive is you.

And so I exist in a mystery only you can
solve.
im the ***** secret across the tracks.
The dirt underfoot  in which my heart does revolve.

If only the feeling could last.
I question while off to another.
Would you stay it was you fading with the past.

Worn from it's trappings you crawl.
Wash away the truth.
Confession of pillow talk that
seep into the wall.

So is the story of the confussed woamn who
fractured her heart over two.
And the man who only did thirst for the
one he thought he knew

The summers love was a harsh winters heartbreak as
the rain came crashing down as I watched thoose tail light's fade.
No words reflect  the pain  that as men were told to ignore.

The lable faded as the feelings inside.
It was gone without reason.
Making as much sense as it's start.

A funeral for one  spiders create  the webs
casting shadows apon the sun.

The void filled with pain addictions touch where you never did.
Empty as two in heart.
A losser in grace shakes  in the open.
Only to display my weakness  in utter isolation.

Outside the storm builds pushing others away.
Jokes fill conversation.
Laughs keep away the worried looks.

Wasted I feel the warmth  of happiness  thats so
far from all im not.
Lines  leading down a road apon a mirror
I close my eyes only to imagine  how it does reflect.

Her body warm.
her eyes as vacant  as the room in which i exist.
Taking  comfort in a action  losing all with sweet release.

Fire cant exist in icy  water's of a fractured soul.
The moment was a series of traggic events
that forges  a mind twisted like steel

Death was a wish when you can no longer taste life.
The addicts logic can never overpower the junkies mind.
Roads that seem distant are only seconds away.

That person a stranger whos return.
Is a threat and Id welcome his destructive return.
In the fog you feel nothing.
As the lost  never seem to understand.

I know the secrets to the  citys  slum.
A blood spattred  canvas of eternal blue.
Dim lit nightmares    a yerning for a end to
a favorite memory  that never was you.

I see the world so traggic tainted
underneath dark glasses so very clear.
A drifted soul  is but a leaf apon the ocean.

Driven by winds heading somewhere with no direction.
Just one of the many   nights  outcast.
Many truths no the  power of a lie.
Sunrise comes to fast and the bottle
wont be a lasting friend.

In thoose moments alone we see how togather
we truley never are.
Hold your secrets close as lovers.
tangled and so perfectly ******* up as yourself.

And wake in the bliss of  are addictions
Love the flaws and forget the dreams from which
we soon wake.