We knew love together hand in hand.
Memories are still living.
With are walks apon the sand.

Seashells in a old wooden box.
The oceans spray.
A vanishing form down by the old
docks.

A bottle without a message
comes in with the tide.
Try as I must this pain
I cannot hide.

That old lighthouse stands as
strong as should I.
The tide changes yet never does die.

The bottles were scattred monuments to beaten livers and bad decisions.
I awoke like any other morning okay afternoon hungover and to void of ***** to deal with
hampsters or flying monkeys .

The agony was what I was used to but the ringing in my head was altogather a diffrent matter.
it grew louder that constant annoying ring and to my suprize much like the voices in my head after my
usal sixpack and half pint of Wild Turkey it was still there.

It rang and rang and caused such a clatter I had to finally get up off my **** and see what the **** was the matter.
I opened the door to the pub to be met by a bright light jesus christ it was the rapture or one of thoose other
big hippie rock festivals dam you  lalapalooza!

But it was just then I remebred to put on my sunglasses.
That huge annoying lightbulb was a cruel ***** indeed.
Now in the realm of what most called the outdoors the noise was clear and to my suprize it was some
strangley dressed ****** slash recruiter for the Forein Legion or Salvation Army really whats the diffrence
ya see one fashion cult ya seen em all ohh snap!


The woman kept ringing the bell as if in some weird trance and like some strange witch she stood by a kettle
dear Lord! what if she was putting a curse on us all.

Hello sir care to make a donation?
It seems I could pay to keep the witch at bay why hadnt i thought of this scheme myself.
In a slurred voice i spoke to the witch in her native tongue most people call it english.
For ?
I said in a naughty school girl way inwhich a ***** ses to the teacher when she wants good grades
or a ride home with a happy ending.

It's to help the needy on Christmas.  
It seesm the pagan was raising funds for one of her bizzar rituals.
being the reporter with the heart of gold and not grain of sense I asked her to speak of this
strange custom.

It seems as though her good had had one to many and made another little hampster
so far this God sounded like someone I could enjoy a drink with.
Then he called on his homeboys to vist the little dude and give him some totally useless
gifts hope they kept the reciets cause ***** that crap give me a gallon of Turkey and a Xbox

She rambled on with her fairy tale and how now people seem to all give things to one another
On this strange holiday .
Boy like that will ever catch on sister .

She jingled her bell as i jumped and screamed like a little girl a very manly little girl may i add
dear lord woman !
That noise you may use your magic to scare other's into paying you but when I pay
a woman it usally ends in *** okay almost always.

She looked at me deepley she must have been undersing me with her eyes i felt so ***** in the right kinda way.
But enough with the foreplay children.
Are you insane?

The witch asked in a angry voice her grip on her bell tighten she spoke again.
get outta here  you ******.
Yeah i know she was totally into me.

Witch I know you've cast a spell on me so why toil with your silly made up holiday scheme.
Of all the pubs you could have decided to hook in front of you picked the home of
Hello's favorite guilty pleasure .
I say we cut through this silly spell  **** and go into the bar and i give you the most forgetable experience of your life.
Hey as long as im happy thats all that counts kids.

She paused caught deep in the moment then asked whats Hello?
Oh that was a site that used to be really fun and now really isnt.
She paused yet again pulling in her magic purse often used by witches
and candy **** singers like Justin Bieber!

She pulled from it some magic spray that blinded me.
the pain was terrible i herd her blow a whistle  lucky whistle.
Calling her warlocks who I feared were powerful and *****.

Soon I  found myself locked in a dungeon with other strange people all under spells.
there was a man dressed as a pagan God calling himself Santa
Seems he liked to play with his candy cane in public.
Yeah who doesnt?

The days passed and i was put through a horrible torture worse than having
to watch the O network or listening to Justin Beiber that musiacal ****.
I went days without  my ***** i was put into a strange state called sober.

Finally the curse was lifted as the guard showed me out he informed me
it was cause it was Christmas .
Dear lord !
The witch had  cast her spell over the world.

So as I sit in the confines of my Pub whiskey flowing like water.
I've learned beware of this bell ringing witch and her tales of strange Gods
and give or fall victem to her charms as did I.

Untill next time stay crazy hampsters.

I know no matter what I say or do.The words will sound so very hollow.For I am forever a stranger to you.Just a name in a sea of others.Fellow yarn spinners.Snakes and thieves friends and brothers.You cannot read the truth from a lie.The recluse writter the drunkand just another guy.A page filled with words andempty meanings.A seedy downtown theater that shows the best latenight screenings.My face is unknown  but my soul is already there.Blind are the truths of a scetchy past.So I remain forever a stranger toanyone who may care.Beautiful eyes that go unseen.Shadows on a clear night.So is my nightmare and how is your dream?I cant say I'll ever know the uptown citys respect.Im more of the twisted citys slums and back alleys favorite reject.I remove the ******* to expose thethe gritty side of what to me is brutal and true.I ride through the darkest part night.To remain forever a stranger to you.

I was awoken far to early it was dam near seven o clock in the evening .
The noise was insane then I finally turned off the music .
****** my four legged amigo truly needed to lay off the death metal
besides who wants to wake up to the spice girls really?

It was then I herd the crash as bottles flew from the wall.
****** did a big girl ****?
I looked outside trees were falling the wind was blowing worse
than some teen age girls backstage at a Justin Bieber concert .

**** my ******* neighbor went flying by and was impaled on a tree hey this ****** up weather wasn't all that bad .
I went outside to see if I could help or finish him off and see if he had any money on him.

Duh like I'm going to help that *****.
He? wakes me up every morning going to his silly job and calls me a drunken pervert cause I hit on his girlfriend look telling someone they have awesome **** is a compliment okay.

Hey Chris how are ya bud .?
Well being I'm impaled on your tree and have a garden gnome up my *** pretty ******* bad you idiot!

Well somebody's in a grouchy mood and Chris you can keep the gnome amigo hey whatever kind of ***** ***** your into is okay I'm mean sure your a ******* freak and I will probably tell all the world about you
But hey that's cause I'm a drunken perverted ******* .
But enough about my good quality's.

What the hell are you doing here you idiot!
Don't you know there's a mandatory evacuation going on cause of the hurricane?
I was confused by what this strange ***** impaled on my tree was saying.

That and I didn't know what mandatory meant maybe it was some strange ****** term ******* ****** .
Look man I don't swing that way okay that was just something I did for money once okay don't judge me.

What the **** are talking about you crazy ******* !
Honestly Chris sometimes I don't even know **** man its real windy out today .

That's cause there's a hurricane coming you idiot .
Oh well that would explain the wind You know Chris your a real ***** but besides that you really are observant .
Well nice talking to you amigo I got to have a couple cocktails
watch some ***** movies I like to think of it as part of my creative
process have fun hanging around.

I was walking away as my annoying ******* neighbor called out .
Aren't you forgetting something you crazy *******.!?
****** I really was slipping I thought to myself as I pulled out my trusty knife .

What the hell Man!
Look Chris I got to **** you or you'll turn its only right duh
haven't you seen the walking dead ******* ?
Hey by the way being your going to be dead and all can I have your girlfriend ?

What the hell is wrong with you I'm not a zombie you idiot
I'm alive I'm just impaled on your ******* tree .
Yeah that's what they all say then next thing you know you have turned
and we got you and all your zombie buddies trying to bite my *** .

Please .
Was the last thing my ******* neighbor said well that and ouch as I plunged the knife into his skull I really felt bad he was not such a a bad kid.
I'm kidding he was a **** and now that the end of the world was coming you had to look out for yourself .

But enough with the foreplay children.

Me and my loyal talking dog slash whatever the **** he was were about to light up a joint and pour are first round when everything went black.

Much like radio these days.

It was then it hit me what Chris had said.
The wind him flying through air ******* ****** a hurricane is
coming.

I screamed a manly scream and did what any strong male writer would do cried and hid under the bed with a bottle of Jack Daniels and my talking dog ****** .

**** man why didn't I ever watch the news ?
Cause your always watching **** ******* .
****** spoke .
Why the hell didn't you tell me this was happening if you knew ******?
Cause I have to watch what you watch ******* I don't have any hands .
Now stop being a ***** and lets get out of here .

What !
Have you lost your mind there's a storm out there .
Yeah and half the people have left this place and wont be back for awhile its party time you scared *****.

I thought to myself its hell being talked down to by someone who eats crap out in the front yard but he had a point .
This hurricane was terrible people had to abandon there homes .
And all there awesome stuff and it was simply going to go to waste duh
why not break in and enjoy it for them It's what Jesus would do.

I don't mean that guy in the book I mean that dude who works down at the garage and drives a low rider .
Course he was a ex con  once meant he really knew a lot about life
and how to hide things up his **** true wisdom .

Me and ****** were off we drove around till we found the most awesome house that just happened to be sheriffs house .
It was totally kick *** we drank kick *** top shelf whiskey smoked some good **** and other drugs that ***** had taken from me over the years .

Not that I do drugs I'm kidding I'm ****** up now how do you think I come up with this ****.
We went through house after house eat real food something actual writers can seldom afford duh like this **** pays.

The storm raged through the night .
Trees fell but being I was higher than Jesus I could truly give a **** hamsters.

It seemed like days bled into weeks we drank and lived as kings .
Played fun games like indoor target practice .
I was bout ready to call it a night and curl up with my favorite girl
Evan Williams .

When all the sudden some strange man was yelling at me in my own house .
What the **** are you doing here and why did your dog crap in my bathtub.

Excuse me Larry this is a simple misunderstanding Cindy may I say you have a marvelous rack I said to the woman standing at his side .
How the hell do you know are names ?

Duh cause of those awesome home movies you made on that video camera that was still charged up after you left.
The woman's face flushed red.

Oh my God Larry I told you we shouldn't have filmed that!
Hey I have to say miss the way you handled that three way with the two dwarfs well it is truly ******* awesome man you two people are freaks .

My new buddy Larry must be so happy cause he couldn't even speak he just shook with happiness .
His wife didn't even look at me well I have that effect on women .

Hey I was thinking you know I love the arts myself I'm thinking Cindy me some drinks that kick *** hot tub not the other one ****** took a crap in sorry bout that he just lacks culture unlike myself .

It was then Larry flipped out using his outdoor voice indoors he grabbed me by the throat I screamed **** cause I yet again forgot my trusty **** whistle dam you hurricane!

I was thrown down the stairs I was beaten I swear you housesit without asking go through peoples home ***** movies and your dog takes a crap in there tub and they blow it all out of proportion .
Guess I wasn't going to be getting a tip ungrateful ******* !

The Hurricane had torn up this small island were I lived and apparently vandals had broken into peoples houses and stolen most all the ***** in there houses how terrible.

I made my way back to my trusty bar poured me a drink and sat on my favorite stool.

**** Gonz you made it out of there I was truly worried for you.
****** said as he turned on the blender .
Yeah he couldn't change the channel but he could talk and mix drinks something just wasn't right with that picture course he was from Kentucky .

Yeah no thanks to you .
You little ******* !
Hey boss don't be mad I got something for you as he placed the the video camera on the table.

I had to lighten up the power was back on we had stayed drunk through such harsh times and got some freaky home movies from those weirdos we house sat for.

I took a sip of the margarita toasted my little friend.
Well bud we made it after all.

We spent the night as all others before drinking are livers silly
cutting bad jokes telling ****** up stories like these that make you wonder when the **** they will ever end .

Until next time  hamsters .

Stay Crazy

Gonzo

Four days into the book tour I came to realize I was on the wrong
one but that Harry Potter tour  is a wild bunch  and i was living the rock n roll lifestyle  but little boys who ride on broomsticks and  resembled Elton John  really wasnt my crowd.

The univesty of South Carolina had many things to offer including just
turning of age  young ladies  who wanted to get wasted and drop there standards amoungst other things.

But who did they want really?
Gonzo  or the mildley attractive  man Gonzo was trapped in?
Who gives a **** man  its like  finding a ounce of  of ****
in your mothers  freezer hey just say no to drugs kids.

The Gonzo had been booked hungover  and  in a semi coma
i felt like the elephant man  the handsome *******.
chics dig the trunk.
Why cant they love you for your mind?

But much like my virginty.
I had lost that at eight  when grandpa Gonzo took me to a brothel.
Ahh what tender moments.
Yes grandpa almost had tears in his eyes
Son I can remember when i met your grandmother
in this very same place   i should say hello to her.

So like a oversexed teenager  I continued my
my madness like a idot trying to run a marathon with his
pants around his ankles.

The room seemed  hostle but i brought protection allthough these
condoms  really didnt seem to be for that purpose.
But God knows where that microphone had been.

They set ready with there pens and  other writing devices
with there big words  and tight sweeters.
But i was armed with a wild turkey buzz and a asortment skittels
better known as pills.

It was a blur of  bizzar questions  spoken in a strange language
I had way to much nyquill  and ***** punch  the night befor.
But Gonzo  was needed  and what more do kids in a frat need more than a keg party and some hot oil  wrestling.

This place was like disneyland on crack.
With its nonstop party enviroment  and bar games
Class what does learning have to do with being in college ?
these young people had tripped and taken to many drugs.

So i bid my new brothers farewell yes I will
think of you one day when  I have a memory.
And so are strange trip  was off once again.

Hey any more of that punch left?
We had acquired dwarf somwhere along the way
he was plesant and  sang Milley Cyruss songs  
while dressed up like Brittney Spears.

Dellusion is a sad thing indeed.
I didnt have the heart to tell him  he was outta key.
Although maybe it was just a side effect from the punch.
Anyways untill we meet again.

Stay crazy Gonzo

Must be slightly crazy and have  the  marbles to fill the spot of
a semi sobber  madman called Gonzo.
Must be good at  starting **** and keeping people laughing.

Most be mildly atractive and  really good looking
with the lights off with a buzz.

Must be willing to comment on poems and say cheers.
must be able to pass out behind a bar and write misspelled gems on bar napkins

And most of all to be the one to make people forget
there problems for awhile and share the spirts of wild turkey
can you replace  Gonzo?

If your crazy enough to try
Then step right up and reply.

I was celebrating as normal I'm not sure why besides oh yeah duh I'm the most awesome writer in the history of this site .
The bar was empty as usual the old crowd had been abducted by aliens and replaced by children whom seemed to believe I truly gave a **** that there five day relationship had just fallen apart yeah live on your own bust your *** to exist then tell me how ******* hard life is okay kiddies.

It came through the wire a message that read.
Dear Gonzo I just read your recent co write and wow was I impressed
It's so great to see established writers giving new writers like yourself a break.

It appears this juvenile hamster had smoked a little to many bath salts today for they had no clue as who my ego fed **** was how dare they.
Yes kids isn't it a shame when all the kick *** drugs were discovered by your grandparents ?

Look don't reinvent the wheel if it gets you ****** up stick with the **** that hopefully doesn't make you trip ***** and lock yourself in a closet with a butcher knife .
That's why I stick with the mild stuff like herion.

I was just about to write this writer wanna be a long and thoughtful response telling them in a mature way to go **** themselves when yet another message came in .

Hey Gonzo loved your co write I always wanted to co write with a true writer any chance you could ask Helen if she would write one with me ?

Dear lord man these kids were higher than Justin bieber's  over inflated ego yeah he's going to put out a new album yeah you been warned .
.
Another message came in in one after the other it was like I was driving a ******* ice cream truck on a hot summer day every bed wetter and ****** picker running down behind me with there snotty little dollars clutched in hand didn't these children know I hate kids .

Well all except for barley legal hot ***** with low self esteem cause I truly love helping misguided ****** yeah I know I'm such a thoughtful ******* aren't I?

I couldn't take it I slammed the laptop shut and turned up the jukebox as I poured myself a stiff drink .
At least here at the bar I could escape this insanity .
But the nightmare was far from over .

As I herd the squeal of airbrakes as a school bus came to a stop outside the bar ****** I was being invaded **** why hadn't I infested in those rabid coyotes Lilly Mae  had tried to sell me .

The little ***** hit the door like invaders across are unguarded boarders yeah do you know how many millions of those ******* Canadians slip through every day .
Yeah if only we had snipers then we never would had to listen to Nickleback.

They jumped on the pool table laughed played and really started to **** my buzz as they played there modern crap they called music .
It was like being ***** by a ****** clown and the rest of his fifty buddies that could fit in one car I swear those  *******  can pack a car better than any Mexican I've ever known and for my fellow Latino friends out there I truly meant no disrespect please don't stab me or bounce up and down on my skull with your low rider  .


Hey Gonzo the leader of this dwarf cult spoke up we want a co write with you.
Um like hell I will Frodo just take your sawed off *** and return back to the shire  okay.

**** that stupid lord of the rings joke dork don't you know harry potter is the in thing *******.
The little man had said a mouthful there and being he was a Harry Potter fan I could tell he was probably used to having his mouth full of assorted things like his nerd friends magic staff .

Look sparky or ******* or whatever the hell you name is note to anyone if you don't have *******  I probably wont care what your name is .

I truly hate kids okay and there's nothing in this world that would make me ever write anything with you so just carry your *** cause I'm sure you are missing out on some kickass time to sulk in your room that is more furnished than my entire house and post your bleeding heart sonnet all over your ex girlfriends face book wall alright.


Okay the little hamster replied .
You know Gonzo I'm real sorry you feel that way cause I was going to overlook the fact that you offered me and my friends ***** and tried to get my underage sister to flash her ******* .

It's a real shame I hate to see such a talented co writer go to waste sitting in prison but you don't want to co write with us so I fully understand .

I couldn't believe this little **** was going to blackmail me it almost brought a tear to my eye how demented he truly was .
Reminds me of myself at that age when I blackmailed my sitter into showing me her ******* ahh the preciouses memories .    

I weighed my options co write masterworks of true demented genius or play basketball with guys who had been in so long that they let me win cause I was a hot ***** .

Hmm I had to ponder that one cause I never was very good at basketball duh I'm white and slightly bad humored with racist jokes that if do offend get over yourself it's called a ******* joke okay.


Okay sparky you got yourself a cowriter but can I ask one thing first?
Sure Gonzo shoot.
Well being that I was going to be falsely accused of seeing your sisters ******* maybe I could actually see them?


I don't have a sister you perve I just said that to trap you into co writing for us and finish this stupid *** write cause it's drinking time and I got places to be people.


Until next time hamsters stay crazy Gonzo.

It's holidays hamsters haven't you herd.
From all that annoying *** music and commercials done by sellout artist
trying to be cool word.
I myself would rather spend this month in a holiday coma.
Buy some cheap hookers some good whiskey and run over a black Friday crowd
in a stolen Sonoma .

It's give me give me and that's just from dad.
He'll break the bank and mommy will give him something the other
night his brother already had.

Maybe I should plant a minefield upon my lawn.
To ward off carolers  who only make me yawn.

I'll poison my cookies and sit back and wait.
Rob the old fat man and take Miss Santa out on a much deserved date.
Make your list and he will check twice.
After I blow his *** to pieces it really wont matter if your naughty or nice.

The holidays are a time for people to act insane over **** they do not need.
There addicts of want the stores are nothing more than dealers
selling coke crank and ****.

Maybe you love the lights and the holiday rush with the family and all.
Well you can eat **** and jingle my ball.
I hope to stay on the naughty list as  long as I'm alive.
Sincerely from Gonzo.
Shut the **** up and stop acting worse than a child who's five.

Don't send me a card cause I wont reply.
Here's your present it's a bomb now please die.

I hate the holidays call me a Grinch if you like.
******* Santa all I asked for  was a brick of ******* ,ten cases of whiskey, a key to the ******* mansion  ,  a  lifetime pass to the chicken ranch , A million dollars in unmarked bills ,
My neighbors dead ,And Harley Davison Motor bike.

There we stood falsly charged   of crimes  we had not commited
or at least  thought  no one had seen.

Jack Horner.
acussed of  lewd acts with a horse   well least he had a ride home afterwards
also acussed  ******  insanity   arson   petty theft   double dipping  
car jacking hey if the cars into it i see no harm in it.
truelley  he's a all around good guy.

Chris Smith.
For being a well okay  he's probaly the innocent one

Gary la Budha.
For selling to many books and drinking my last beer
and  for  ******* on thee toilet seat.

John Patrick Robbins AKA  Gonzo
For serving minors inciting a riot  farting in church  spiking the punch and creating a mess at the highschool prom.
200 drunken publics   3000 dui's    public ******   dam sports event's do it every time  ******* chess matches.

Breaking and entering **** i wondred why my house was locked
and some man was sleeping with my wife hell
here i find i have one and she's already cheating on me.
no woder thoose kids look nothing like me.

And for being such a good looking crazy *******  I added that one.


We were some fine upstanding  kinda ****** up guys.
The trial was a joke thr key witness Drew .D  glared at us
I felt violated as i knew mentally she undressed me  with her eye's

The video was the real kicker  ****** I told you Jack that
wasnt  Mr Es  barn we broke into  hippos dont wear  dresses .
Yes mate but there so dam **** he replied.

what do you have to say for yourselfs the man in his black Pajamas asked.
Once was kinda strange i had to get dressed up yet this senile old man thought we  were at a pajama party.

Order in the court yes your honor i'll have a martini.
We were found guilty but even a courts wall cant contain crazy.
  
With a spark of unplanned drunken brillance  like a **** between friends  we sprang into action Jack taking on the  officers  
Chris you take the judge   I'll handle the she devil  Drew.

In a battle fitting for saturday night pro wrestiling we
faught like  wild animals and drunk women chairs flew
ears  were bitten  body parts fonddled  
Drew screamed hey pervert get your hands off my ***.

No time for foreplay now satan  and i sure hope  you smuggled
a gun or salami in here thats just wrong.

Grabbing the curtian and  that hot court lady who insisted on typing through the whole dam trial  like a drunken pirate  who shops at walmart  a called to my brothers were blowing this popstand  slash pajama party.

Through the window we flew crashing through the roof of  a well placed mini van below  we could hear the pixie like screams above As Mr E
screamed goddamit thats my ******* van.

Into the sunset like mighty drunken legends we rode
hey you guys ever been to Atlantic City?
bound for trouble and and a few rest stops inbetween
hey were drinkers   and nobody likes to smell like ***.

Untill next time were the always guilty
Were the G team.

The hp deathstar  had all but sqaushed  are rebellion.
And the pub falcon  was being  looked for parked in front of everycyber  bar across the net  so it really ****** cause capt Gonzo
was really thirsty.

We had  taken refuge on endor for awhile  untill
thoose fury *******  got ******  over a simple misunderstanding
they sure were some horney little teddy bears .

In thinking over  were to hide  there  was mention
of  eurainus to which I replied.
Get your mind outta the gutter  man.
you just said eurainus.

Cp bathsebo  and  R2 Swanson said s0mething to which
I  jokingly replied hush the men are talking once wasnt to smart.
Ever been kick to the grown  by a steel high heel shoe
hopefully the numbness will wear off.

Master golden had  taught me much  
but that was many drinks ago.
How am i supposed to remember that far back
yesterday was a blur.

So **** it lets kick his *** already jack skyhorner said.
Darth Elliot was mighty the battle was hell.
I would have joined in but someone had to  rob the liqour
cabinet   besides  Honzo  Gonzo  a bit of a hangover.

As the stormtroppers  aproached  screamed like a 13 year old girl and ran to fire up the pub falcon.
As the others  said what about jack I said  im sorry but he's gone
it was brutle  i took out as many as could.

But Jack would want us to move on.
Just then  Jack appeared  and said nice scream gonz.
We blasted across  the gallaxy with no direction  cause ya know
how guys are about asking  for directions.

Fully stocked and and reloaded so to speak.
Drath Elliot    was amighty foe.
But no match for  the outcast  girly screaming
Capt Gonzo

The feeling I can never explain something just ingrained within you.
I can't explain what I never could understand.
We are the dreamers and suffer those who are awake.

Tragic are those who lack vision, misfortune is yours please spare mine.
The blade is now a pen my blood now Ink .
For whom it is lost is more found I.
The rejects of night are but misfits of my day.

As the poison seeps in as my creativity flows unto a void created in chaos none of which
was of my choosing.

Were all dreamers caught within a nightmare's grasp, losers of a game we chose not to play.
But we **** sure tried in spite of it all.
The blank page remains a suicide note to the forgotten chapter in a dust collected manuscript.

Secrets are best left buried like shipwrecks on the ocean floor.
Why be the judge when none are innocent or ever so guilty as I.

**** the nights for bringing the memories upon me ,
and curse my thoughts for remaining after all these drinks.
Haunted are the souls of the living simply empty vessels that fill the streets.

Many years have passed.
Yet these thoughts never age .

******* the nights and winters empty chill!
The fire now  only seems to smolder a dragons bluff to wolves such as I.

I hear the others howl I simply choose to ignore the sound.
Taking refuge in my thoughts and torment in scars past.
Empty are these thoughts that I unearthed tonight.

I hear the howls outside my door.
They are my burden and none else to understand.
In witching hours of lost hopes and broken dreams I find my solace.

I've ran with demons and slept with many angels, to burn only in the cold of ice.
Tomorrow is always a dream as from this nightmare maybe I'll wake.
Treasure the silence in it we find our true selves.

I hear the howls I simply choose to no longer answer.

Unlike most the mail thats filled with  annoying **** like bills and DNA results this one  stood out  for some odd reason.
The name seemed familar  the invite was a wedding better known as a stand up funeral  a gathering of  hopeful women  and hung over men.

But what called to my eyes like a driver  parked at a catholic schoolgirl
cross walk  on a windy day was a true statement of sheer  beauty.
Open bar  gonzo  didnt know much but he knew he had a busted toaster   and a bruised liver and purpose a  of which I never  truley do understand.


This gathering was promising many women of which  had no idea  
I was a total ***  were here.
This crowd included many types
large small  young old   cross eyed   lazy eyed and even **** eyed
but no time for foreplay  children.

The bar was calling yet for some reason we had to sit through this
wedding ****  who the hell comes to  this stuff to watch  such sappy ****
the bride  walked down the isle  in white  face covered  dear lord
she couldnt be that ugly  hey wheres the  guy who sells  penuts and beers.

I sat for hours in agony  waitting to meet with my open
bar mistress  like some hot ****  women waiting behind a  
locked door so willing   calling to Gonzo.
come drink me  drink me hard  you drunk ******* im so wet
and refreshing get your minds outta the gutter.

When the man  who seemed to be the cult leader finally shut up the
groom finally pulled back  that veil thingy like a bad episode of ****** doo to reveal   the woman underneath it.
I was shocked to see a familar  face  hey i remember her
Kathy, Susan ,Rebecca,Something  yes when in doubt always shout
out every name you can think.
that way you appear either a total *****  or if your wearing a helmet
*******.

I had left mine at home selfish  ***** of a brother  just had to have it
Gonzo what if I fall down from a seisure ****** man duck tape a pillow to your head.

the ******* aside finally came a true moment of true brillance the bar   the bar where the **** was the bar!
Like a child being told santa wasnt coming this christmas
cause daddy  got busted selling drugs to the same undercover cop again
dad wasnt bright  something inside hurt deep as tears welled up from
my shallow heart.

then she appeared  Sara, Rabeca ,Susan,Eunice what did it matter really?
Gonzo are you hurt?
You know how much I care for you always.
Yeah  not enough to have a open bar Tabitha,Elieen ,Bathsheba,Drew,Elliot ****** woman whatever your name is.

Really you selfish woman  what do you think just   cause it's your wedding its all about you and this oversized bodybuilder   who appears
very unhappy dam you network tv for canceling american  gladiators

Like any true man would do faced  in the same situation.
I kissed the bride for old times sake  kicked the groom in the ***** and ran  for the boreder i'll miss you Susan,Kat,Jessica ****** woman whatever your name is.

As i sit at the pub deep in reflection as jack ask's me  so what will
you miss about her  the most you crazy ******* a chicken tucked under his arm  but I seldom  cared  to meet his new girlfriends.

Yes after deep thought and many wild turkeys.
It finally came to me ya know jack it's probaly  the free ***.
yes i was gonnna miss   Rabecca,Susan,Samantha,Kat, Beth,Baths,
Becky,Tarzan,Eunice,Cheeta, Taylor,Elivis,Ladyy Ga Ga whats here name  cheers to ya darlin.

Love John, Elliot ,Chris,Jack,Gary,My Chemicle Imbalance,Obama,
Bob, JD,Drew ,Goldie,whatever the hell my name is.    

Stay Crazy Gonzo

One may be  fun
but several can be even better.
She's got that  certin something.
But dam if her sister doesnt look  good  in that sweater.

Had this problem  since  I was  like five.
Two  might  be  tricky.
But ******* off ten  your lucky to be alive.

Im not a man *****  just gotta alot of  love to share.
A tiger  does fear text.
And Nine  irons  okay and left behind underwear.

I think theres a problem  when your black book
reads longer  than gone with the  wind.
I swear honey there's nothing going on.
She's just  a really hot shoulder inwhich I can depend.

Saying goodbye never has been much fun.
Bullet proof  vest  taser   peper spray no it"s
not a riot
Just taking caution  probaly be easier breaking up with only
one.

Hey if it works for hugh's old wrinkled *** then
why not me.
But at this pace I'll  be lucky to make it past
thirty three.

I think theres a problem but that's okay.
Cause if I get the boot.
I got some friends  with benfits  house's
inwhich I can stay.

Im not bad  just a lotta fun.
Cardio is key.
When she pulls out the meat clever
dont play stupid just run.

And if I seem terrible keep in mind
it takes two to tango.
For what is the banna without the mango.

I think  theres problem that I really dont
wanna fix my dear.
Im a bit of a effection ******.
***** the cold shower how bout a warm bed and
a beer?

Call me terrible cause hell even I know
I'm not right.
We should  take this slow.
So how bout we discuss this in a hot tub tommorow night.

And if I did offend  with these word I've spoken.
Then please pull the twig out your backside.
Grab a drink have some fun cause was only jokin.

Apon are arrival once at times seemed questionable
We were greated by none.
hawaii had spoiled us to all other airport experiences
Were else could a half hunover  yet slighty buzzed  madman
stumble from a plane to encounter a beautiful woman in a grass
and cocunut bra once even now made me thirst for for a pina collada.

But in in canada there was nothing  to greet us there but cold
As we stumbbled around dressed like soon to be doomed criminals awaitting trial.

Cananda its slogan should have been.
Welcome to Cannada  it's really ******* cold.
But we knew where to find warmth in this enviroment.
Or for that matter any enviroment.
For we were drunks or as i liked to think of it consistant drinkers

And on are journey into this land of freezing weather maple syrup
and ice hockey.
We had one true goal.
we had come to drink Cannada dry.

No bar would untouched No bottle would not know are name.
we would hit on many women.
Score with a few and say we had slept with many.

I was a religeous man and i need to get in touch with with the spirts
The spirts of Canadian mist  Jim beam  And my old stand by spirt Gin


It was a bold mission for which we had set forth.
Are livers were alredy beaten to almost a pulp but
we still somehow still walked and functioned in disquise of
semi normal human beings  but nothing was further from the truth

we were writters was ment we were professional crazy people
On a mission to depleet this icey land of its alcohol
an drink canada dry

We sat there in a group a circle of freaks with a doctor more ****** up than all of us put together on  the side.
So John anything you care to share today ?

I paid little or no attention to the ******* rattling off about feelings or all that other **** I truly could give a **** less about .
I was in this asylum and that was ******* embarrassing enough .

John?

realizing this paid babysitter for the insane wasnt going to leave me the **** alone untill I said something or told him the voices in my head were telling me to buy a hand gun and do a little spring cleaning .

I replied .
Yeah Doc I'm good not really feeling like sharing or talking or giving my opinion about crazy Larry's compliant about the martians trying to speak to him through the microwave okay.

John we try not to joke about are fellow residents .
Yeah whats not to joke about we got people in here who talk to walls and write letters with there **** okay!, Sad part is they spell way better than me for **** sake Deny here is scared of cats and I tell you I never trust a man who's scared of ***** alright .

John tell me about Gonzo.

Is this a ******* joke doc ?
I asked half ready to flip the **** out yet considering ****** would probably be frowned upon when it came to me getting out of the nuthouse.

Alright doc what the hell do you want to know?

Well is he a separate personality from you ?
No ******* it's me okay you ever hear of a nickname I'm sure your wife has one for you like needle **** the bug ****** .

The doc looked at me like well he looked at me like a guy who went ape **** and got locked in a nuthouse .
John is humor how you keep people out from knowing the true you?

No doc it's how I deal with the *******  who ask me stupid questions like that.
I sense you don't like me asking you questions.

Oh doc it's not that honestly you see I hate life right now and being locked up surrounded by dipshits who think a wild night is getting a extra graham ******* before night night time well it's kind of ******* lame okay that and I want a ******* drink and maybe a piece of *** okay!
Not from the doctor that is get your minds out of the gutter hamsters cant you see I'm using humor to be serious  here?

Yeah I know who gives a **** now enough with the foreplay kids.

Mr Robbins can you please re-frame from using vulgarity .
Can you believe this guy ? , Or the fact I can spell vulgarity and who said nothing good comes from a nervous breakdown .

I took a moment to look deep inside I saw a forest  and other pretty gay **** I'm kidding it was more like a brothel and Disney land combined  minus that hot duck with heels but enough about Selena Gomez.

Before the doc could say anymore stupid **** that would probably land me spending the rest of my life sharing a room with a guy that enjoyed making wine from his toilet I had to unleash a rant from hell and put a end to this this **** fest of a write cause it's happy hour and the drinks are a calling kids.


Look doc I'm going to tell you  like this.
Yeah sure I went a little a little nuts tried to **** somebody took one to many pills drank a little to much parked a car in the bar hey what can I say least when i woke up I didn't have far to go for cocktail in the morning.

But all the **** aside were all ******* nuts in this life hell there's more dudes and chicks sitting at home just building up pressure waiting to off one another like some bad mafia movie .

Yeah more ******* blood has been shed over that ******* word love than I can write about .

Yeah ******* I can sit here talk about about my Godammed feelings let me tell you what I'm feeling some of those good drugs that nurse with the great **** is handing out .
Her and me and some time alone that's what I'm ******* feeling sure it's just some cheap thrills and some ***** hot *** but hey thats about as wholesome as apple pie and ******* baseball pal.

So if your done with your stupid as questions I'm going to get the **** out of here hit on that nurse make her laugh and get shot down and probably go practice some self love alright amigo .

And let me also point out look how about some better mags in this place hey you ever tried to ******* to better homes and gardens?.
Yeah talk about a bush oh how a love the fall and a fern don't ask.

Mr Robbins.
Shh I put my finger to the docs beautiful full lips .

Look I'm crazy and I'm dam proud of it so to poetically put it shut the **** up cause I'm out homeboy.

With that said I left this circle of fellow freaks behind slammed my pills took my copy of home and garden and treated her like a copy of my favorite intellectual magazine hustler .


See and who said I didn't believe in happy ending.

Stay crazy or you just might go sane .

Gonzo

Unlike most the mail thats filled with  annoying **** like bills and DNA results this one  stood out  for some odd reason.
The name seemed familar  the invite was a wedding better known as a stand up funeral  a gathering of  hopeful women  and hung over men.

But what called to my eyes like a driver  parked at a catholic schoolgirl
cross walk  on a windy day was a true statement of sheer  beauty.
Open bar  gonzo  didnt know much but he knew he had a busted toaster   and a bruised liver and purpose a  of which I never  truley do understand.


This gathering was promising many women of which  had no idea  
I was a total ***  were here.
This crowd included many types
large small  young old   cross eyed   lazy eyed and even **** eyed
but no time for foreplay  children.

The bar was calling yet for some reason we had to sit through this
wedding ****  who the hell comes to  this stuff to watch  such sappy ****
the bride  walked down the isle  in white  face covered  dear lord
she couldnt be that ugly  hey wheres the  guy who sells  penuts and beers.

I sat for hours in agony  waitting to meet with my open
bar mistress  like some hot ****  women waiting behind a  
locked door so willing   calling to Gonzo.
come drink me  drink me hard  you drunk ******* im so wet
and refreshing get your minds outta the gutter.

When the man  who seemed to be the cult leader finally shut up the
groom finally pulled back  that veil thingy like a bad episode of ****** doo to reveal   the woman underneath it.
I was shocked to see a familar  face  hey i remember her
Kathy, Susan ,Rebecca,Something  yes when in doubt always shout
out every name you can think.
that way you appear either a total *****  or if your wearing a helmet
*******.

I had left mine at home selfish  ***** of a brother  just had to have it
Gonzo what if I fall down from a seisure ****** man duck tape a pillow to your head.

the ******* aside finally came a true moment of true brillance the bar   the bar where the **** was the bar!
Like a child being told santa wasnt coming this christmas
cause daddy  got busted selling drugs to the same undercover cop again
dad wasnt bright  something inside hurt deep as tears welled up from
my shallow heart.

then she appeared  Sara, Rabeca ,Susan,Eunice what did it matter really?
Gonzo are you hurt?
You know how much I care for you always.
Yeah  not enough to have a open bar Tabitha,Elieen ,Bathsheba,Drew,Elliot ****** woman whatever your name is.

Really you selfish woman  what do you think just   cause it's your wedding its all about you and this oversized bodybuilder   who appears
very unhappy dam you network tv for canceling american  gladiators

Like any true man would do faced  in the same situation.
I kissed the bride for old times sake  kicked the groom in the ***** and ran  for the boreder i'll miss you Susan,Kat,Jessica ****** woman whatever your name is.

As i sit at the pub deep in reflection as jack ask's me  so what will
you miss about her  the most you crazy ******* a chicken tucked under his arm  but I seldom  cared  to meet his new girlfriends.

Yes after deep thought and many wild turkeys.
It finally came to me ya know jack it's probaly  the free ***.
yes i was gonnna miss   Rabecca,Susan,Samantha,Kat, Beth,Baths,
Becky,Tarzan,Eunice,Cheeta, Taylor,Elivis,Ladyy Ga Ga whats here name  cheers to ya darlin.

Love John, Elliot ,Chris,Jack,Gary,My Chemicle Imbalance,Obama,
Bob, JD,Drew ,Goldie,whatever the hell my name is.    

Stay Crazy Gonzo

The pub under the hands of some fellow madmen and
my divorce already in the works I set out cause why sit around a place and be misreble when ya can be heartbroken and drunk off your ***
somewhere else.

That and and my new wifes boyfriends were stealing all the dam covers
dam you Dallas Cowboys.

The trunk looked as if i had ran over a drug dealer and knocked over a liquor store ****** had i been sleep walking again?
There was uppers downers wild turkey and beers chips dips chains and whips oh my.

Yes this would be a journey that would test the limits and like a boozed up college girl.
On a ******* video would expose many
things for a T shirt  and a chance to make dad proud and kinda weirded out at the same time being he was trying to have some alone time to ummm   do some deep thinking  and touch apon  well yeah.
But enough with the foreplay children.

I was loose apon the highway bound for the place of true insanity
home to killer thieves perverts and the rest of my family.

Knotts Island N.C. is but a small island off the Virginia border
but remeber kids it's not the size of your island that counts.
or at least thats what your girlfriend tells ya cause secretley she's
******* half the state of texas  but hey who's bitter.    
  
Yes there was a smell of outdoor fires corn whiskey maybe
some organic  umm tabaco  that was green and Dr Jerry  had prescribed to me for my vision although i still couldnt see ****
but after awhile who gives a **** I never liked that guy anyways.

So after dumping the body in the marsh i had arrived.
Home where i could smell the microwave pizza burning cause mom
was to busy  helping 16 year old Brain  with his homework.
Yeah public schools ****** good thing Momma Gonzo loved to teach
and who better to teach *** ed than the town *****.

After there session had ended there we stood.
John how the **** are ya  you little *******?
Well it was a moment of only true gonzo  understanding and after are usal  conversation like hey did ya bring a bottle? And hey are we related?
And hey mom do ya think ya could  put on some clothes cause its kinda awkward im just saying.

We laughed we cried we turned on the tv and watched are family reunion on jerry springer ahh memories all alone in the moonlight.
Hey mom great left hook you really showed that ***** although
grandma did put up a hell of a fight.

We drank my mother knew her little Gonzo was hurting
and so we spoke over ten, tweenty cases of wild turkey.
Well son did ya pay her after ***?
She wasnt that kinda ***** mom.
What a stupid ***** hell she could at least made some money i mean really though look at you.

Thanks ya heartless *****.
Your welcome honey.
Going home it really reminds ya why ya left and went in the witness protection program to start with.

And looking at my okay kinda perverted lush of a mother I relized
****** no wonder im ****** up.

We drank talked I relived the old times as i held
her hair as she puked.
then she spoke to my heart once worried me that just maybe she had finally drank herself sane.

Ya know son sometimes people's are just a plain pain in the ***
but no matter what mom always loves you.
But ya gotta leave cause the Hells Angles are coming over
and you know your uncles Skull and Eightball still are a little sore
over the whole   you turning state witness thing.

Yes the thought of getting drug behind a mottorcycle for a few miles till your flesh was ripped from your bones really did sound like a downer.

So as I hugged my slighty weird kinda crazy okay perverted demmented  hell of a gal i called mom goodbye.
I realized the journey had just begun and Mexico was a calling i needed a save place to relax  and where better to than a semi insane drug cartel controlled  country  hey but other than that it was swell.

As I herd the chopper's apraoching
And had to ask for my wallet back now mom.
Really i havent fell for that since highschool  when we were on are double date at the prom.
i know what your thinking the Gonzo clan are nuts and momma Gonzo really shouldnt had me at such a young age but she was very mature at 13 and corn whiskey and football teams  happen.

Hey she said suprized looking at the pic thats Skeeter?
Umm  yes.
Hey can I have her number?
Ahh family moments.
And as I sped away like some
hyped up teenage girl  after there God Justin Beiber.

I thought well no matter where the road takes me  
as long as I have the blood of that  lush, perverted,kinda insane,southern bell in my veins it will always be second nature to forever stay crazy.

I looked at the room  broken bottles  blood fragments of clothes.
maybe a tooth  from somebody not fast are to drunk to get outta the way  of a conversation turned bad.

The juke box had almost  made it threw  but it just had  to
play that one song that caused  it to become a target  
for a flying cue ball.

And I herd someone speaking to the toilet I thought maybe
I wasnt that hungry after all.
As to what caused the  riot slash  the human tornado of fun I cannot say
But in my opinion that jukebox had it coming  always  playing the wrong songs at the  right time no one likes a *******.

And that drag queen could sure throw  a mean left hook.
While looking fierce and lip sinking to madonna at the same time that my friends take true talent .

Seems as though  the register had went on vacation  but they
left the wild turkey and pretzels  thank god  happy hour was almost apon us.

And theres nothing worse than telling a proffesional drinker as myself
theres no snacks  it's like tellinga kid theres no santa claus.
And that big fat guy in the red suit  with his little dwarfs  
were really just some of momies friends.

I always wondred why santa was so into  getting the crap beat outta him
by a woman in a latex outfit calling herself mistress Claus.

Yes coffee always made things better mixed with some  of  my personal corn whiskey  yeah grandpa   may went insane and herd voices from drinking the stuff  but at least he always had someone to talk to.

As I looked at the chaos that was my headquarters  memories  came to me in a flood   the booth were I   met  my first wife.
that same booth were i caught  her with my best friend and worst enemy  and santa  i swear he gets around.

So much for online dating dam you napster.
I should just stick with street walkers  and circus people.

And I think after  my tweenty first DUI  
that it was good i never had a license to start with.
cause i really hate losing anything.

It's a shame about my mind.

So really other than this little get togather turned riot turned  
love in turned back to brawl  turned into
big kid slumber party.

It was after the jukebox had to put in it's two cents
that it all turned to ****.

For nothing kills the mood worse than a bad song
at the right time.

Love  always  Dr Gonzo

Please give me freedom in thought to somehow ballance my prison of existance.
Cast stones over the water in a chance they'll skip across dark waters only to be trapped in another place.
Im a grounded pilot viewing clear skies .
****** at all but seldom  understanding even myself.

As tortured youth's scribble misery with ease still the grace of agony is wasted on jaded old farts like myself.
Im a ageless fool in a counted time .
Hey wanna chat?
Cyber games I can live in the real world for im who you see in the truth of my existance as well.

Empty corners is where I find happiness I just wanna be alone.
Hey want some company?
Yes stupid questions are alive and well spoken by overrated **** stars on the evening news.

Story at eleven  the news anchor blew half the crew to get this job what about her coanchor.
Another school shooting whatever happend to a good old fashioned beating?
Im sick of what i see maybe i'll make a fake version of myself online talk to little girls who hate what they see
make em think i have a answer ive never known myself.

**** being in style cause thoose people are about as real as there plastic surgeons newly made face.
I hate what I see maybe i'll just rip my eyes from there sockets.
Post my pics on twitter and collect dust with the rest of the half wits that could give a **** less.

Pour a tall one i'll buy my happiness along with my new liver stop on the way home and buy that happy ending
from some ****** who's sold herself less than I.
**** this circus cause I choose to say whats real not give you a verbal *******
and send you on your way.

Like this if your to lazy to move a mouse and say what you really think .
**** the crittics there people who cant do what you can.
**** the truth it just gets in the way of a good lie.
**** your ego I need the air to inflate my own.

**** it all!

Cause it's easier to push away than to ever look at yourself.
Its so easy to give up but few can stand there ground.
**** my thoughts cause its getting to the point a zombies march seems easier than a single thoughts remark.


??????


No I dont have answers.

The invatation seemed strange  but im always up for a weekend retreat.
The boys at the pub looked at me as if i had totally lost the few marbles
i had.

fishing was a favorite sport of mine for it was more like a reason to
go boat riding  and  drink and how i did enjoy water sports.
Mr E   had invited us all yet my fellow amigos  seemed to be lacking
my sense of adventure.

Gary droped me off well more like kicked me out
about half way as the pills started to kick in  and he belived
I was a alien  lizard  secretly on a mission to steal his mind and take it to
mexico.

So as I hit the ground rolling like a tumble **** taking out a few mail boxes   and  one of thoose bike riding Lance Armstrong  wanna be dorks.
I worry bout men who dress like gay power rangers
the buts stuck up in the air wearing spandex.

Well after a relaxing  thirty mile walk.
almost sober I stood faceto face with MR .E
And althogh kinda odd for fishing attire  his cheeta thong
and matching cape  were a sight to be seen.

But  comfort first is i always say.
I never knew lady GaGa  had her own signiture bass boat very stylish this Mr  E was indeed.

And I wasnt much for girly drinks  but dam near sober for the first time since i was  ten i would drink almost anything.
but the man servant in chaps in chains was making me wonder if these
people werent you know  christians  or thoose scientolligist *******
you know thoose lady doctors  who women  have to go to.

It was when Mr E got a nibble on his  bedazzled  fishing
rod  that caused some alarm.
As he pulled that bass in  he let out a ear piercing scream louder
Mariah Carrey.

As this oxyen starved creature flopped on the floor  like Gonzo
trying to breakdance Mr Es  man servant began to beat the fish
with some sort of vibrating oddly shaped stick.
My God man  what is this forplay?

I couldnt stand it anymore these  people although
fashion forward  were just to much i jumped ship
making my way to shore.

And as i began to make  my dripping track to the nearest bar.
He was apon me like some  strange  cheetah  dam these spray tanned  christians were fast.    

It was a struggle of epic movie of the week proportions
I feared for more than my life.
I barely escaped  with my clothes and senses.
Well with my clothes that is.

And  as I walked  into the pub shakenbut thankfully
not stirred.
When asked to sit down and share a drink i choose to stand.
Cause of uhh back issues.

And as that demon jukebox  began to play do you
really wanna hurt me it quickly changed it's tune
for even Gonzo has his limts.

I dont belive I'll go fishing again.
For I learned its a contact sport.
Dam  scientologist.

Red ribbons  around the streetlights.
  The lights from the commadore theather
are a reflection of the past.
Coblestone streets the historic district across the water
buildings are lit  haunting  shadows over the water.

Once  a year closed streets seem to travle back in time.
Roasted penuts  street corner preformers.
Familys togather homeless on benches not all is beautiful and bright.

Sweet city so cold and gritty.
Christmas lights like neon signs call to my jaded soul.
Horse and carrige ride down by the water.
New lovers getting lost in the moment an season.

I sit apon the steps of the old church share a bottle with
My new best friend  smells of the city echo back to another time.
Lights and sounds reflect a holiday on highstreet.
Hands held  togther  when  in another  life it seems you
were mine.

Cold are the streets  carols fill this night.
If only more than once a year.
We could embrase this spirt.
Then trap it for one peaceful day.

The traffic apon  Highstreet  is  is slowing
The festival crowd is fading.
The bottle of christmas cheer is almost gone
so along with the I must  be going.

The room was packed in a kinda vacant almost like my mind way.
People posting words most spelled right most all  deep with big words which I really didnt understand.
Dam you kindergarden why didnt I pay more attention !

I was deep in some sort of cult meeting.
I belive people in that third world country called Canada people
call it a poetry reading.
You here to share your work sir?

the woman asked in a strange way unlike most women she didnt seem to be armed with anything but thoose dam tassers were getting smaller and smaller everyday but hey it isnt how big your tasser is it's how
you use it right girls?
Im know im not right.

The grand dragon or queen and owner of the cult approached the mic with a lingering want in his eyes
he gripped the mic firmly in his hands and from the way he handled the mic i could tell this was a man who enjoyed holding a mic in his hands hmmm must be playing for the other team like Green Bay Packers.
But enough about the man for who's name I cant mention or i'll be thrown in the princeple's office yet again.
And no man should have to face that *** dungeon by themself or at least without being paid first.


Hello poet's welcome to are open mic night he said in a very manish like Justin Bieber tone.
Oh baby but enough with the forplay children.

One by one the group said there verses covering many subjects most which were about fairy tales
like love and men who put down the seat after taking a **** duh who ever does that!?
And as these hampsters went through there woe's and tales of  lakes and long walks on the beach many had to question on such a deep level.

What the **** was ******* up semi insane ****** with a heart of gold like myself doing the **** here?
Im kidding im not a ****** I never charge.

And now fellow poets id like to welcome a very special guest.
Please give a warm poetry welcome to notorious black sheep of the site
one word can only describe him the man the mith the ******* who's so long winded he'll
put you into a coma Gonzo.


Without wasting time to speak utter nonsense in a utter crap style
Drew how we miss you.
I stood befor the group.

The silence a strange sister indeed many looked and i could tell what they thought
Whos this long winded *******.
Okay that kinda hurt.

I took a nice long breath of air in looked to the cult leader handed him my drink .
And began.

Poetry what can I say about it ?
Why did I ever start writting?
You may belive it was to voice the inner struggels of daily torment to give art to chaos.
Yes indeed.
Ahh **** folks im kidding i just did it to  make chicks think i was deep and its the only sport ive played where being a drunk is just a added plessure

Hey we can express are pain or just party are little drunken arses off
Me I only drink twice a week.
Weekdays and weekends.

Sure I could have come here been serious uptight never cracked a joke or mispelled anything cause i was having a few social bottles of whiskey with a like garnish of acid but what fun would that be?

Look everyone needs to laugh and every class needs clown just like every town its *****.
And every village its mispelling  idiot!
A voice said interupting my epic speech theres always a smart *** somewhere
but hey that was a good one ******.

Mr Gonzo is there any advice you can give us to make this write any longer?
Why yes young little hampster.
Always carry plenty  of cash for the strippers write more about drinking and *******.
And most of all Stay Crazy


Oh yeah and if your parents like your writing  it probaly *****.

And from the hushed voices i could tell i had touched the young minds but not in a weird avoid uncle Charlie and his nonexistant candy bar in the pocket kinda way.

It was more like uhh what the **** is he on and I hope insanity isnt catching cause i was
sitting next to that perve kinda way.

And so like a mad hatter or a kinda weird guy dressed like one at a all you can eat buffet
I was off.
And as I  put the pinto to the wind I herd the   applause
As that person for which we do not name said.
And finally that twisted freak Gonzo has left the building

I had locked away my true thoughts and muzzled my true voice
for far to long.
Was it a character i desired to be?
Were my words to be but a joke to break the awkward silence?

When you start to be social only to lock yourself up
to exist with your demons your becoming a dangerous
person to yourself.

My work once flowed now it sits half finished  great starts
stalled endings.
My skills were learned from not the comic arena
and i could imagine my journalist friends  laughter mocking
me even now.

He's slipped  finally lost in cheap jokes  gone from
anything that speak's of his true voice.

The people didnt thirst to know John.
for my well penned alter ego was the one they all knew and so blindly
misunderstood.

Old friends check in.
Messages on my phone i'd sooner erase than
respond to.
Had I slipped in some form of insanity?
Embracing dellusion  to mask my failures in life?

I was a writer ,A troublemaker  and owner of laughs.
A good time for many yet emptyness was my reallity.

As from  the TV screen reflected change and madness.
For crazy is a close friend of chaos.

I got in the game to make a mark but what was the price?
A destroyed marriage  a relationship  heading into
the very same direction.

What had I become but some twisted monster
and tormented soul.
A sad afterthought  to a sick joke.

Deppresion can  make us into something no mirror can truely
reflect.
The chamber stayed loaded  the glass my curse
seldom these days full.

And what she wanted I could never give  like sunsets
red cast gold flaked embrace i was a moment.
And moment's can't forever last.

No child should know a madman's life.
And a selfish *******  I knew was my role.

Empty streets and smokey old bars  were my  path
and what to anyone could i truley give?

Pain was the fuel hours my sea to sail alone.

The chamber was full but soon one would
be missing.

A tale cant be read untill it's finshed.
We are but moments.
And moments can't last forever.

Maybe it's not  knowing what the **** will happen or if you will even make it back to begin with that draws me like a moth to a flame .
Maybe I'm just so far gone and this is one step further from the edge and I know the madness will somehow keep me sane .

Headlights and strangers harsh faces echo my direction  towards nothing and everything in-between.
The road is a lover whom never returns that affection and maybe that's why you only want her more .

Small towns paint my backdrop as I chase sunsets maybe we will share this view without knowing my friends and maybe my story will find its end.
I cant pretend to know the outcome I just embrace the tornado and laugh at the destruction nothing sometimes means more than any
trinket clenched like a anchor it only binds us to one spot.

I embrace the winds and challenge the storms .
I am the ghost whom chose to be a whisper.
A shared bottle now empty memories will paint my epitaph.

Tomorrow is a  mystery and I only care to be part of this madness
Some questions are best left unanswered .

I will see you again my friends .

From sleeping in streets to walking miles alone I have come to a direction the page just cannot follow my friends .
I have chased the bottom of a glass since I was fifteen and that was to far to be anything more than a blurred memory.

And to the times that seemed to matter.
Now only to those who haven't lived my existence a lone wolf knows no true  direction just simply howls to let the others know he does still exist.

Are words betray us and then eventually it all fades .
I'm not the act I'm the delusion that fueled a ego now left to wither a dead tree in a forest of many .

None will recall but far to many will simply use ******* when facts get in there way of a good story .

Tonight I sat under a full moon and howled as the wolves often do.

There was only silence that followed the eco .

Even the lost know there is no hope for the madness .
When your words betray you and only a dead tree remains.

Maybe another time the stars will find me in good favor .
And like those around tonight will listen and only stay silent to the lone wolfs howl.

The plane touched down after a long flight that was true torture the whiskey had long since ran dry the coke had left me
with a headache and the movie was freaking me out
****** you twilight.

Had a seventeen year old girl chose this film that reminded me
I needed to call my wife  to tell her I couldnt pick her up after highschool.

Apon landing I was met by strange  men all named bobby  
im guessing to be a cop here you had to all be related
and named bobby  fine with me.

These men unlike there many named brothers across the pond didnt
have any wepons  dear lord man   wait a minute  take mine  what nice men these bobby clan were.
what was even better was this magic land had the sense to give them all the same name   so when you were drunk you wouldnt forget it.
Why did we not do this   the women  as well.

Apon searching my always ghost town of a wallet  one of the bobby
clan replied hey you know skeeter to?
Jesus  I wont even comment on that.

Apon my exit from the airport i was greated by something that was
a true blessing to any hungover eyes.
No sun  dear lord  I also noticed these people had already been drinking.  
For they were all driving on the wrong  side of the road.
London was rainy  cold   and soon to be Gonzo.

My trip began  like any good writer slash reporter slash honrny ******* drunks would begin  at the liquor store.
the bobby clan had taken my moonshine slash rocket fuel
oh well  least the plane wouldnt be the only thing flying tonight.

The strange little speaking man  who drove the taxi rambled on  as i applyed my social lubricate  better known as *****  how i did miss wild turkey.

You fancey a ***?
Sir your attractive but i dont swing that way.
One thing seemed clear these people were all drunk
it brought a tear to my eye  I had finally found my people.

Wanna see the palace?
Why not although  after i had been to cessars  this place seemed
kinda odd how did they expect it to make any money
with it all locked up?

Allthough the silent man outside with the black furry quetip hat was a draw.
The strange big eared  man i met in the garden after  my  
well little fence hop hell  being the human quetip didnt say anything
I figured he wouldnt mind to much.

Well the big eared man was rather plessant  after i offred him some whiskey  sorry  its a little weak  thoose bobby boys took my good ****.
No worries you crazy *******  wanna ***.
****** man Ive  told you guys  im straight.

After my exit  and brief *** kicking seems thoose quetip people are silent but deadly   my face soon kissed the pavement
as one replied  I belive him to be the one that wasnt special said thats what you get yank for speaking to the prince.

These people were worse than i thought  I was a big fan of purple rain.
dont belive a word that man said  besides he's a racesist.
never trust a man who can jump outta a  airplane and glide to the ground  unless he's dumbo.

One place to always seek refuge when in doubt  was a pub
least these people werent obsessed with if i was gay.
yes like a man in a church filled with like minded crazy people i was home.

Sharing a booth with a strange man creature who called himself Keith something  what a drunk genius he was indeed.
rambling hours on end about **** I seldom understood.
but as long as he was buying i was happy.

Poor guy  seems he was in a band  but with a name like the Rolling Stones how far could they go.
after much more rambling and some bad jokes we were off
me and my struggling guitar playing friend  who dare I say it was on drugs  I had met my true idol.

Always up for a prank we found areselves in he country
loading a bmw full  of horse crap  when a old woman from
the mansion did appear  under the inffluence  anger with pitch fork in hand.

As we fled  as well as staggerd  I asked my drunk pirate friend
you know that old woman looked  Paul  Maccartney That is Paul
Maccartney you ****** my sruggling sorta insane friend replied.

Running through the woods drunk at night is always fun
aside from thoose dam trees.
i was knocked flat as if i had been socked by skeeter
as i came to there the  legend stood overtop me
pitch fork raised wait befor you **** me sir please can i have
one last request.

I should have known Sir Paul  replied  happens all the time who should i make the autograph out to?
***** that amigo i pulled out my bible better known as my flask taking   one last drink of fire water  this was gonna ****.

When all the sudden a banshee's scream echoed in the forrest.
******* mate were done for  sir Pauls fear was clear as the wet spot on the front of his pants.

Tree's rattled what kind of monsters did this country hold?
the howl closer ****** Paul get of my back   im not
your old song writting buddy.

From the sky the bashee did appear  but had little or no intrest in me
The battle was epic the *** stained warrior put up valiant  and tearful fight.

The kicker was when she removerd her leg  like some sort of Brittish  samuri  all i can say is hot.
She swung like Mickey Mantle   or maybe it was mouse im not a big footall fan anyway.

Sir Paul knocked stone cold out  the she demon turned her attention to me.   And you!
She howled her leg wepon raised high in the moonlight
it was i know what your thinking romantic.

I deffended myself as best i knew how by falling to my knees crying pleading for my life  dam you bobby clan were are you now.

But to my suprize she only laughed silly yank  help me go through his pockets  befor the old ******* wakes up.
we searched finding many thing's hey whats this a flash light?
****** i should have known better than to look through a grown man's pockets.  
Had I not learned anything from my uncle.


The moon the she banshe with the removable leg
My drunk struggling muscian friend from a little blues band it was a magic night indeed.

As I sit by the fire  looking at it hanging over the mantle.
I wonder when will i again return to this  strange and Gonzo place.
And how the hell I was gonna explain were that leg came from.

Untill next time kids stay crazy
Gonzo

If drinking were a sport.
I think Id take the gold.
Even without your support.

But if it there were such a whiskey laced dream.
I think  id have to start my own drinking team.

You know in wine.
We could clean house.
With Baths everytime.

For the wild turkey relay yours truley Gary and Jack
would hold it down.
Make the whole team hello including Elliot frown.

Chris can drink his weight in Guinness.
and so easily win us a god medal for sure.
Who need  rehab  were in trainning  no problem to cure.

All the rest of the HP family  will  hang there head in
shame.
Cause when it cause when it comes to beer pong  
weve never lost a single game.

Thank God  for Paula. and Kerry cause sombobodys
gotta stay sober to remember the story.
And we always got Golden  to write about are glory.

And amoungst are group Danny is the youngest in
are humble dive.
Even if he doesnt have a license .
Id rather let him than my drunk *** drive.

In the   showcase  are  medals shall gleam.
Do you think your liver could handle.
Being part ofthe pubs drinking team

The venom shared from the pillow held witness by the dark.
Can this embrace be cancer to us both?
Are the words hollow as so is the bullet just as dangerous in a lovers hand.

All will be forgiven one day when the hate has been washed clean and all truths tattered beyond reality.

Did we go beyond the path somewhere deeper than are first intention.
A ocean may drown as easy as the silence between us.

Nothing knows better than the night .
And her tears shed were simply a casting calls allure .
Smoke rings to the celling to vanish and linger all the same.

I am memory.

The worst poison of them all.
Killing with time and good intentions.

Nobody has a answer .

The darkness can embrace the page a silk sheet of verbal perfection .
Empty streets and   bars cast shadows that cling in mind like some ship long sailed from port.
Why must they see the end and never fight it's truth ?

We find so little compassion a snow storms emotion has left this summer night
vacant as the motels sign.
Drift for a second with me and i'll show you nothing but flawed perfection in return.

Cats in the garbage winos hold court in the parks distant to the .
The child never should know.
Poets speak in smoke filled rooms of nothing more than a broken souls frustration and second
avenue's  false shine a glass charm and a freakshow diamond the ***** a true friend in
times all to often I need.

Whats your sport the streetwalker asks me in such a pure jaded sense.
wash me  pilot hands are clean but thoughts seem to stain walls of the union mission
I love its true sense of decay .

Jack are you still on the road or just lost in big Sur?
Bob can they ever decode the message or just set free in the paint you cast as words?
Poets fools profits and second street saints I feel comfort in madness  for
sanity's annoying plea just takes up my time.

Are we nothing more than junkies?
Slave to page and the veiw's no matter how blind they may be.
A  drunkard  , A clown, And a welcome stranger in many a lost souls view.
Charles I can understand your humor in the utter sense of ***** it all and the crued beauthy i reconize so very well.

And a whiskey laced brother kindred spirts seem to go better with southern bourban to
wash it all down.

Now sweetheart im not saying im any good but im always a goodtime.
We have to be ******* to be anything at all.
They all knew as so do I.

Heros gone were never heros at all.
Im the last of my kind hundred proof deadly with a **** eating grin.
Only through others eyes are we truely seen .
So I ask how's your view?

Admire many only to realize your lost in ego's storm.
Few understand and even less care.
Im always here till im truley gone.

Stay crazy friends and remember it's not to be admired.
For heros always must fall.
A breeze in the summers burning heat like many others.
I'll only leave a soon to be taken vacant seat.

From this barstool i have sat waitting for some moment
of inspiration to come to me.
But the only thing that that comes to me is
a bartender with another drink.

And in empty reflection lost in a jukebox's song
played by a lonley heart shooting pool.
I cant recall where the spark went.
maybe it fell to floor like the ash from a cigarette.

the page waits at home like a wife waitting in worry as her husban is off doing God knows what.
So worried only wishing he'd return.
And when he does the fear fades and the anger kicks in.

The bottle doesnt hold a key but it does know me well.
I kiss it's fiery lips and cant resist it's charm.
so I sit with it passing hours in a dance that will end in
nothing but another wasted night  and a bitter morning taken
out apon my  mind.

In a swirl of hungover thoughts id leave half written pages.
To soon find themselves collecting with my ever growing arsenal  of
drunken rants.
All ending bitter and cold.

But when the whiskey hits I'll make such great plans
that will never be.  
I'll write that epic that will keep in the minds
other writers.
And in the warm arms of women who wanna love a
trainwreck just to say they've known what it's like.

Whiskey wishes are like sparks from a much larger fire.
the sparks fly off into the midnight sky.
only to fade befor are very eye.

I watched the television for lack of a hot girl bent over the pool table.
Tonight had been a dead night and I was simply counting the hours till I would
pass the **** out and start it all over again.

I herd one of the overrated windbags on the screen  say.
Tonight were here for the art and to honor the artist.
Yet in the sea of  overdressed teenagers I saw no art just some corporate nimrods  who were selling songs like a ****** sold her *** out on the street.

The glitz the glamour wasn't to honor it was a marketing tool  for record labels to push there new product.
And like any good **** they had brought a slew of there finest ****** on display for the wolves.

It was a true gathering of the young and mindless.
While all your favorite overplayed annoying as **** ****** and ******* were there all
acting as if they were having a blast and lip syncing to all there soon to be forgotten pop
**** hits.

It was like being mind ***** by a ***** wonka .

And the first award goes to some stupid rehab bound **** who's currant record I really want two of.
One to **** on and one to cover it up with.

And just when it can get no worse we have to see washed up boy bands drag there over weight *****  upon the stage to try to get one last fix before they drop dead well we can always hope.

Yes for a channel that calls it's self music television yet plays no actual music why should have I expected any less.

Art isn't cooked up in some factory cranking out radio friendly bubble gum anthems
for little girls to scream to and perverts to have wet dreams to.

True art  doesn't wear a G string .
Just usually hot chicks or some fat chicks but that's not usually a G string it's just there underwear  has crawled up there *** dam optical illusions.

What **** are you watching!?
The old regular asked me as he pulled himself from his semi coma of watered down drinks
and half spent cigarettes.

You know there amigo sometimes even I don't know what to call it myself.

Yeah well if your not to busy looking at ******* give me another.

I flipped the idiot box off and gave the old ******* another round.
So grandpa I asked in my oh so charming  and down right annoying tone.
What do you thinks the problem with music today?

Well for one ******* your supposed to listen to music not watch it!
That and I miss the stuff the kids nowadays never hear.
Yeah there father time what's that my friend.

You know that **** called actual music.

Yes this relic of the past had a great point there was no depth in a child's swimming pool  
and as me and my lone customer counted the hours till this night's chapter of a close
slowly approached  we spoke of the classics  and did what any to fellow adults would do.

Turned the jukebox up and put the TV on mute.
cause art may not wear a G string but some really hot ***** do.
And no matter a mans age even Picasso could admire a fine ***.

Cheers kids.

Gonzo.

I was always worst in the morning.
Burnt out hungover and in need of something to eat and a few strong aspirin.

The phone. rang and its normal intrusion always gave me the knee **** reaction to smash it into the wall.

But being i couldnt afford to live let alone replace **** i answred it instead.

Collect call from Austin will you accept the charges the operater asked ?

In her mock happiness from sitting in one spot listening to people for which she probaly held as much regard as i did.

I didnt need to ask from who only trouble and bill collectors call me in the morning.
Usally the bill collectors dont call collect.

I excepted .

What is it Cheryl?

The timid voice came through as she always did whenever she wanted something.

Hi baby how are you?
I'm sorry i had to call you this way i know it costs .

Don't sweat it I wont pay the bill anyways .

I hated phones and pretty much wasnt a fan of human contact altogether.
Well minus certain ocassions .

So what you need kid?

You always have been a blunt person.

Have to be when it cost me by the second sugar.

I wanna come home baby.

Yeah thought you left me to go home.
What happend didnt go to the right home?

Please Jack I need to be back with you this time apart made me realize just how much i truly cant be without you.

It had been over two weeks since Cheryl had packed her **** and had me drop her off at the bus station .
She just took her bags turned away and walked out of my life.

She was a pure ***** maybe thats  why i liked her so much .

I hit the bottle and she hit the highway bound to the state she called home to the life she claimed to have thrown away for me .

That last fight had been a glorious shouting match I usally took.the sarcastic smart *** route but i had enough of her ******* and lies .

I was a ******* but least i was a honest one.

Jack please i'm coming home either way.

I took the last of my money to buy this bus ticket .

Yeah so why call me if your coming back anyways?

I knew full well why she was returning.
Cheryl was the type that required far to much maintance for anyone to handle let alone people who werent getting something in return.

Baby i just wanted you to know i ****** up I cant live without you im coming home to you.

I paused for a moment thought about that perfect body and the nights it layed against me in the calm of a harsh summer night.

I thought of the nonstop chaos .
The fights she was a woman of great passion maybe thats why she was so good in bed .

I was hungover like hell lonley but i would heal the strong ones always do.

Baby are you there ?

Yeah well thanks for the warning sweetheart .
I said as i simply hung up the phone and unplugged it from the wall.

Yeah i needed alot of things.
A new liver ,Maybe a job that didnt drive me insane .
A good bottle maybe a meal inbetween.

I needed more than a few things .
But a hurricane of emotional horse **** i did not .

I took four asprin and returned to bed to sleep it off

It was silent in the room dark and empty.
It was the most peace i had known in a very long time.

It was what I needed.

The road behind still seemed more tempting  than the wasteland of hollow thoughts and
empty dreams that lay outside my hotel room window.
I'd long since given up on having anything known as a comfort zone.

Still although it was hours since we landed still my thoughts rambled like some child as he sits listening to a trains whistle on a long dark night.

My fellow shadows had long since learned a private room was better than a front row seat to
my often insanity spun sideshow of late nights and bitter rants.
It was me and my thoughts a plague of my own creation  in full swing and obsecure few
a stiff drink and some good pills kept the thoughts at bay for the moment.

We found areselves in the city of Angels but  it reaked more of devils torment and wicked excess.
Hookers cheap *** and some overpriced drugs.
The blood of dreams covered the streets and old starts of the fames lure slept next to the broken and homeless.

Why had I ever came here was it ego?
Or just a good time to flaunt in the face of all thoose caught in the gears of
the day to day grind.

This land of empty thoughts  and cursed remakes there was nothing creative bout this scene kids  just give your neck to the vampire and pray he yerns for a taste.
Maybe you'll be one in the few or just another hideline.
Fallen star found dead outside some overpriced nightclub.

Me I was here for a gig and nothing more .
To provide some laughs between drinks i had no illusions of fame.
To me I looked in the crystal ball and just saw another cheap snow globe
of nothing more than candy coated lies.

This wasnt my scene it wasnt anyones scene just a playground gone
wrong a wasteland of bad ideas and hollow thoughts.
That made Vegas seem like a good idea at the time.

Neon lights and lost thoughts haunt the hours spent like some
silent witness to a future crime scene and a redlight work of art.

And as I recalled the nights show I tried to forget the faces from behind the lights
that seemed broken by some plastic surgeons *******.
Give me women with flaws and unsculpted fools.
Perfect people can have this place that seemed more like a gateway to
a delusion cast hell than screen print paradise.

Course many would paint it diffrent if they held the brush but I wasnt
much of a painter to begin with.
And as tommorow loomed with the smog I packed my suitcase thinking.
If we could just drown half the suits and give it to the miscast freaks
pretending to be superheros for tourist pics what a ****** up
theme park we'd have then.

A few hits and alotta drinks later we were gone and there was no question
If we had left a empression.
Only a ****** of a much higher degree would wanna leave anything there.
Except maybe a pipe bomb in a suits office bleeding some old franchise
for every drop it was worth.

No my friends the rearview wasnt looked in often.
What did you think of it?
My fellow traveler  asked as we counted potholes and passed the bottle

Well it sure wasnt Kansas my friend.
What the ***** in Kansas?
Anything but this ******* place amigo.

Its always in goodbye we taste what is the essense of that scar called love.
Pain in nature and no words can capture remorse as well as a milepost in a reaview of thought.
It was there we togather once called home now like a tombstone it stands a marker of what was never to be.

Fracture of heart and bitterness my seal.
Im the leftovers of another we can cleanse this logic or simply say ***** it all and regress.
Forever a lie to the young and a curse to the old.
Has it burned this earth and killed me to all that dare to know
what I could never explain.?  

A dance of years now a thought no drug has yet to erase.
Pills aside your drug was the best poisen ive known even with another I
know paradise was a cancer ive long since left behind yet a simple moment can make me slide
into a vice that will see me fall for the last time till next.

Im the clown that circus left behind.
Now a skeleton for home I  ask why leaving takes a milestone and emptyness a downpour
as my desert has long stayed dry.

Read the riddle like a oinion pealed only more layers remain.
hell has welcome thought for ive found more toture here.
Voices haunt my thoughts as emptyness thrives inmy existance.
Its has misreble as when we knew each others love please drown so I can
breath life into this wornout frame one last time.

Winter's chill reminds me of what we never had yet again.
People often question what has no meaning to begin with.
As for me I avoid its poisen a scared child hidden in shadow of a
lesser man.

Nothing stands as a reminder of pages wasted in promise of a day that never came.
Sometimes I view that place were we were more than a bad memory and a traggic vice.
Sometimes I yern only for end to what has never been allowed to begin.

The worst prison of all is the mind.

The neon kisses the sidewalk below embracing strangers as they pass
in all directions none seem towards home.
***** sidewalks and the slums splendor Im a gatekeeper of despair and hard
luck just living for the bells chime to echo from the counter.

Drunks and ****** gather within my confines the outcasts of the night my people
seldom will I ever know more than a signature upon the page.
Moths drawn together attaracted by neon light.
Tommorows not a promise so embrace feeling and grow numb in reflex for now.


Are we not twisted from exposher numb from the streets brutal truth?
I count the hours a television for companion a bottle a often short staying vistor
who's welcome till the hangover's regret.

Some pills to drive my thoughts and a fresh *** of coffee to fuel my engine
tIme kills even the most unfaded of us all.
And through the night they gather some to escape the cold others for a quick escape
or fast **** to forget as if in a Halloween costume soon they'll return to there true act
of a life.

Embrace as lover's when there nothing more than roomates hey kids were doing great
you coming home for Christmas this year?
And so they like well trained actors reprise there roles.

But i see there mess allnight I collect the rejects nothing more but fragments
glass that reflect what they wish could never be.
If only we could rewind.
But life's highway cant be retraced so on we roll.

I  collect there money and take down there names the keeper of memories
tattered wings fly none the less.
As for the women the far away stares are but shared thoughts of a misery
more bitter we drink from the same passed down glass.

Some things just don't have to be said to be understood.
The nights my watch my vices fuel me for yet another round.
the neon signs my beacon And the moths glide to flame with the turning of the switch.

Were all ****** up but seldom can some show the flaws .
I embrace them unspoken please sign here.
Tommorows walk we'll pretend to not see for we all need to feel
invisible sometIme.

The end of my shift bids farewell to my collected chaos tired we've become in constant
recollection the light is off for now.

I belive it was in a rest stop outside of Nashville when I first discovred just what lost truely

was.

The people moved ants to a hive.

Ghost's to the shell so to speak.



Looking up routes streching worn stiff leg's and existing in personal bubbles.

Affraid a seconds conversation would burst a moments ******* cast

existance.



But I only sat watching happy to be a viewer to many seperate acts in a bound for nowhere

play.



Hey you have the time?

I dont even have a watch.

I replyed to some lost south bound kid more ******* up looking

than myself.

He said nothing more as he simply  faded into the herd.



They were all bound for somewhere  and me I was just killing time.

My home was wherever I could catch a few hours sleep.

And hopefully I'd be outta this state befor long.



I was a nomad most called me a ***.

A traveler of fate and a lazy ******* to caught up in my own personal gains to settle down.



The voices of reason would seem to echo through strangers.

Whenever I'd take time to speak like some twisted record player

they'd always repeat.



So where you heading?

Nowhere and hopefully it has  a bar.



Why you on the road?

Well really I just decided to take a walk one day.



Where from?

North Carolina.

Wow why you in Texas.

It's a long walk.



Man your weird!.

Arent we all in some way?



And with that the conversation would fade into my beloved silence.

And I would view the highway and it's ever changing landscape.



The mountian  sunset's ,the desert  in the moolight ,

A city slum to a rest stop outside of Nashville where you find me now.



I'd seen Americas watercolors and her sharp edges and still charming sleeze.

And from a shared ride to a cold park bench.

I was embracing the forbidden fruit spoken of by

far better  fools and writers than me.



For true freedom was seldom safe.

But I viewed this world a travller a stranger to all including myself.



And from strange looks to even more bizzar remarks from  thoose who couldnt fathom

someone existing with no true purpose.



The question always was asked

from so many forgetable faces.



So where are you going?

Im just taking a long walk home.

It wasn't a good feeling knowing words would result in the chapters close between us .
And no matter my ego I still never enjoyed causing anyone pain let alone you.

Are paths had crossed and taken us in separate directions and only the blindness of concern had kept the ship afloat this long but delusion was a tide that could never bare us to distant shore and losing all wasn't worth the cost so i believe losing you was my penance that surely must be paid.

Life had scared are thoughts and now time had dealt its hand .
The only thing left where the words that would sting worse than the lash.

Sometimes being a ******* was the only option.
This was the best showing of my concern and no matter the sting at first it was best for us both.

The storm was upon the horizon I simply had to ride it out alone .

There is no hell worse than the one bring down upon ourselves  

I'm so sorry to tell you goodbye .

The road was always interesting but I figured after my last
um run in with  authorities gonzo needed to lay
low and anyone else he could get his hands on.

Apon return  I found i had some unpaid parking tickets and
some unretuned videos ****** man thoose  videos were
no joke you ever cross paths with a ******* video store clerk
it wasnt pretty and i really wasnt up for ******  oil wrestling
at the moment.

The strange device attached to the phone that spoke and I belived
had turned my on to drugs was filled with voices.
many of which asking the same question.

Gonzo  where have you been?
Gonzo Im late.
****** woman should have left sooner.
Why was that my problem  oh ****.
Well maybe we erase that one  change my name .
Who am i kidding  no one could be this goddamed good looking.

So many messages played it was like a far of hello are a ****
in a packed elevator  even if ya did it you always blamed it on
Eliot  he's a nervous farter  and a wonderful dancer  so
the drag queen in vegas  told me dont ask.

Hey Gonzo did you steal my credit card?
Cause im gonna kick your  ***.
****** now the mighty samuri of hello  was mad at me.
And  a battle between poets is never a prety thing.
that and i feared i would be burried  alive by Gary  and
his many books.

Once he threw  like ninja stars  yes he new some tricks
and had spell check  but i had whiskey bottles.
And  a army of truck driving lesbians   to hide behind.

I knew it was best to seek refuge  in a place none would think to
look in a bar.
the place smelled funny and the whiskey was watred down.
And what kind of place served kids.

After the acid finally weared off i realized i probaly needed
to exit the ball bit at macdonalds cause thoose ten year old
playground gangs were known  to flip ****
when  ya  didnt hand over your happy meal.

My time on the road had taught me many things.
None of which I could remember.
Much like sobriety and spell check i had little
need for brain cells either.

So onto the pub my true home  i did return.
After  a bit of some engine troubles.
it's hell kickstarting a Harley in highheels.

******  thoose were  a nice pair to  Eliot was gonna be ******
But it was time for Gonzos return ******.
And the pud needed its favorite madman.
Cause a pub without Gonzo.

Well it's probaly better stocked but *****
friends im back.

Maybe the moon isn't as full from where you stand tonight across the distance only fools and coyotes know.

Maybe my old vices will do me in as you always said they will.
If it were nothing more than traggic  wouldn't that be something just the same.

I never was meant for a vision you see of better days locked within your head.

I told you goodbye that night as the stars were masked by street lights and the pavement gave little cushion for are demise.

Maybe is a word often used in dreams but im far to awake to care for now.


The luck like the bottle around me is often empty.

I never hid behind dark glasses kid .
And I know you will learn to forget with time.

I never was meant for the sunset guess I will simply have to fade with the night instead.

Maybe you will recall me later in life .

Something tells me you can't love a lie no matter its intention.

And nothing understands the truth like the night passed .

Maybe .

No Matter The Floor You Pass Out On

I awake as any other madman slash poet.
Apon the floor  naked  pizza box for pillow a members only jacket for a blanket.
yes the libary sure has changed over the years.

less and less people were reading buggets were cut meaning
libraryies were under staffed and rarely did anyone dare venture into
the stacks  and thank good for that. Cause being i preffered free sleeping
it was probaly for the best.

but no matter the the floor you pass out on most all fine
american men wake up with are god given birth rite.
That which after a trip to the restroom like
that early morning madness that was christmas  pressent openning
was over way to fast and was kinda disapointing.

Floors werent the best beds in the world in fact they
****** altogather but drinking and common sense dont even
belong in the same room togather.

Portsmouth Va  was a strange world indeed a place where upscale colided with skidrow.
Me I preffer the company of a outdoor sleeper to that of a
spoiled spoon fed yuppie ****.
the art school cranked out angst ridden buble people by the second.

They walked the street soaking in the pain of life.
there heads stuck so far up there ***** I always felt compeled to trip them as they walked by.
acting as though they were outsiders  yerning to be mainstream
they'd **** there mothers on a mtv reality show as dad cried in the background.

Just for a taste of stardom.
True talent who needs that?
but no matter the floor you pass out on one
thing was clear.

In a world were you could have a bus load
of kids and get paid for it.
fame wasnt such a rare thing anymore.

The floor I passed out on was cold and cruel but surrounded
voices from the past.
the floor these hollow  reallity show bottom  feeders
passed out on.  Had to besoft as there heads.

Otherwise there brains would splatter across the floor.
And some TV exect would have a brainstorm  to have a show
were washed up celebrities would have a contest.

To see who could bore us the most with there sob story  
Yes friends id rather have a pizza box for a pillow
than a reality show  pillbox for a brain.

and the truth effectsus all form no matter
which floor so you do choose to pass out on.

She had no reason and I wasn't going to ask.
Her  body left as her thoughts I was removed from long ago.

The rides that we viewed from the pier the sunrise and passed drinks I was a phantom a shadow of the man who gave all to the page and nothing to her.

No magic holds more true than the waves crashing endless into the fading darkness shore .

I had stood long before and I would stand long after .
They all leave you empty as when you first met.

This was far from my last .
The page held more than a shallow hearts departure .

There's no regret in goodbye .
Just a change if scenery.
A bottle in the sand and my thoughts to themself

She left the room.
And left me together thinking I'd be torn apart.

But my thoughts are all that has ever been the whole of me .

And the silence played endless in perfection with the crashing tide.

Your passion remains where they leave just the same.

It's the silence that always gets you.
The laughter is a drug and there is no worse a addict than the comedian
Behind the laughter is the insecure person you never see .

It's the empty rooms the miles between gigs it  always comes to that next fix.
Those few seconds when I can  be  everything I'm not the escape is the best release there has ever been.

And as you leave it behind the ego deflates and the isolation sets in were all children in tattered shells called adults .
So fragile the rock that seldom does embrace the sea .

Were all ****** up in are own separate ways.
Behind the laugh at times is the worst place you may ever realize you want to be.

He waited the sad ***** broken in what seemed like a fool who sits on the traintrack
Feeling the rail knowing full well what is coming cant be stopped yet still
they stand.

It didnt take a writers eye to read the reply I knew it from the moment the poor
sap got down on one knee.
Like was never ment for love as a torment was never ment to be cast in a ******* fairytales
happy ending.

I felt no need to listen further for like some old stage hand I knew the
actors lines by heart.
Why were sappy ******* always drawn to heartless ******* I could never understand.
I guess for the reason worthless ******* always seemed to get the one's that
were to dam nice used them like doormats and turned them into the flawed gems
we knew and adored as well.

Maybe if only his ears herd truth instead of dellusion he'd find a much easier path.
I never wait for a reply and seldom care to ask.
I deal in truth I play no game just show my cards and care less if im holding better than the next.
Games are for fool's and old farts who gather to swap war stories and yern for the days
when yesterday  was uncertin yet always a adventure.

She wouldnt reply with what he wanted and he would be the fool a clown
left behind by the circus  just a out of place reject  wearing oversized shoes.
Some belive in it some also know desperate acts only serve a vain person's ego.

It's better to be jaded in sight than a sap for a cruel ******* amusement.
But being a ******* I know her thoughts all to well.
And as the night does erase the light the curtains fall will just
promise another act apon life's stage.

Avoid the people who's hearts have been cast of stone.
Course if you choose to do so you'll probaly  not have to many friends.
Course I never did give a **** cause that just leaves more drinks for me.

He waited for her reply and as the words hit like a landslide.
He sat numb frozen in a sea  of embaressment.
And in the aftermath of rejection he sat at the bar  running it through his thoughts.
I poured a triple sat it in front of the man along with a bottle for company.

And as always became deaf to the bleeding hearts conversation.
Thank God for closing time.

Im the stage hand of lifes over written play a bartender who's herd every version of the
same old song.
If you have to wait never yern for the reply.


Stay crazy Gonzo

**** the weather !
It always seemed when you planned ****.
Things always turned to ****.

I had been fed the **** up far to long.
No I was more like hand me a gun and get the **** out of my way.
the ride had been the boiling point  the conversations were as mundane as the Oklahoma  
landscape.

It's sad when you see a tree and you want to get out the car and kiss the ground.
I had to distance myself and the nearest bar called me like a ship to shore .
And maybe after a few stiff drinks I could somehow convince myself the trip was worth the burden of putting up  with half the ******  I listened to out here.

The show was going to be hell dealing with some lame *** ******* with there family friendly *******.
Hopefully my set would be over fast.

Get up there talk to the deadlights crowd and get the hell off that stage before my drink needed refilling.

Hey so what's your deal?
The strange looking guy had asked me on the way up.
Just prefer silence to a ******* chatter I guess.

Whatever man.

He didn't seem to enjoy my reply and his leaving me alone for the rest of the trip was a pleasant reward  indeed.
Little early don't you think?

Another had asked as I broke out my flask and mixed the first of my drinks I like to think as
******* tolerance serum.
Well honestly being it's already ten in the morning I'm actually running late.

**** he's going to be wasted by the time we get there how ******* unprofessional.
I had met far to many of these self righteous ****** on many trips across the states and they all were the same.
To busy watching other's to even realize they had no place being in the company
of actual men  they were more like a annoying ex who nagged the **** out of you till you either said  shut the **** up *****!

Or just walked away silent as she rattled on a mental tornado in a self absorbed existence.

I rarely gave people like this my time let alone my thoughts.
For empty minded ******* could look to other halfwits to fill there heads.
me I had a hard enough time believing my own ******* to care about anyone else's.

It was a hour till my set   and as I knocked back a  luke warm beer in a first class *******
I had to think man I really should have chosen a less interesting career path.

But hell there were like almost ten people in dire need of some saving from the clutches
of candy *** humor and Lord help them if a improve group was around.

I staggered from my stool towards the door as the barkeep said.
Hey buddy need me to call you a cab to get home.
Home hell amigo I'm getting ready to clock in to work.

Maybe I could have chosen a more easy path.
But the drinks seem awful watered down driving a school bus.

Besides who would save the bored few from the family friendly
joke tellers of this world.

Till next time.

Stay crazy.

What I want for christmas dont fit under that
tree.
Cause it dont involve to much shopping.
Just very little clothes a warm bed and you and me.

You can warp yourself in a bow.
Well share some special holiday cheer.
Over the bed is the perfect place to hang the misletoe.

What I want my dear ya dont have to buy.
Have Ibeen good all year.
Well honey I did try.

Why miss claus I never knew you shopped at
fredricks of holywood.
Spike that eggnog turn down the lights.
we'll try to keep it a silent night
but I dont think we could.

Baby I want the same pressent every year
and for that matter why not every day?
Im just in the holiday spirt what can I say.

Yes from santa I expect a lump of coal.
Makes me wonder why santas so jolly.
Hey I wonder do they gotta ******* at the north pole?

What I want for christmas is a bottle of wild turkey
and you in my bed.
Yes it's more like the ******* mansion.
Than sugar blums dancing in my head.

So my wish for this christmas to yours and you.
keep these holidays happy instead of crazy pulling
out your hair listening to Elvis singin bout a christmas
so blue.

We sat there in a corner booth to old dogs sitting warm by the fire so to speak.
Except are fire was fueled by the warmth of the bottle and the friendship we knew
never would we cross paths again after today.

It's a strange thing to put another person upon a pedestal and for them to view you the same.
We had fought and laughed shared drinks and made scars forever we knew
the stories would fuel the legend or maybe just mask are *******.

Where you thinking about heading out to amigo.
I had dreaded these words for they were a prelude to a long farwell
and a permanent goodbye.

I really cant  say you know I always been like tumbleweed my friend.
Cast to the wind driven with no true direction.

Yeah well try to not let this **** consume you he said holding the glass just before he kicked
it back.
And as he eyed the skirt with a perfect pair a legs walking by .
I had to reply yeah well try not to let your vice drive you insane as well or get you shot
by some jealous husband.

I told you I've given the married ones up I'm strictly going with the young and single.
And I'm joining the priesthood pal.
Least you don't have to stop drinking.

A good ******* always seemed to have good come back dam the *******.

We had to laugh over that one it was always a contest like two brothers one always
had to out do the other.

Well my friend I said.
If ever you need me well tuff **** cause I wont be there.
Yeah I figured that much he replied.

You know Gonz I got to admit you really are a *****.
Yeah but least I'm a honest one.
True that bud he laughed as he replied.

There  was no goodbye after we closed the bar down.
We just laughed off the ******* while masking are own.
See you **** for brains.

What you getting all sentimental on me amigo?
**** no besides least now my bar tab will be semi normal.
Well you know you just cant put a price tag on a good time or good conversation .

My old friend looked at me as always in a state of this guys half nuts yet always had a hard time fighting off the laugh.

Well Gonz I'd stick around but I got a thing called a life and all.
Yeah and I got to head by your sisters place and you know how she hates to be kept waiting .
How's that going ?

Real good since your mom and me broke up.

Well tell your wife and my kids I said hello and dude do you mind not coming home early anymore I mean I just having my fun time cut short.

My bad dude oh yeah and sorry bout the clap.

I finally got him on that one as are verbal *** for tat never ceased to die.

He what's a few STDS  amongst friends.

We parted on that note and as I viewed my breath a dragon's smoke chased off into the corners of the  night.

You just had to truly admire a ***** who could roll with the punches.
No wonder he liked me so much.

Adios brother  I  hope life finds that which you could never grasp here.

To a very good friend of this very well known past .
Sometimes you realize what's a loss to one is the gain of another.
And me I just remain the same charming ******* I always was to begin with.

                                       Stay Crazy.

Gonzo

Dear Mr first name only somethings ya do dont really
make sense.
But even a drunk like me has to say it's enough.
Cause my drunk *** cant even stand let alone  strattle a fence.

Points was  the first straw  my invisable friend.
To make ten comments for a point.
Well i got far better things to do with my weekend.

And one night as from the bar i did crawl.
Thought i was just drunk off my ***.
But dam if ya didnt take down the wall.

But it's okay cause if ya wanna be on the list
you can always buy a place.
Ya know your dealing with poets right?
Hey some kid just took his parents credit card
and stole my place.

Mr Elliot  should i stay silent in fear.
It's hard to shut a good drunk up.
Was it you that put that horse head in my bed
and drank all my beer?

And while certin people gave us the name
they gave my foggy mind a idea to.
If ya keep us going at each other  then
that keeps us fom going after you.

Mr Elliot  please dont  read this and
make me dissapear.
For I'll take refuge  in my pub.
hide behind the women  and gaurd the rear.

Yes im the ressident ******* and clown.
The bartender to the masses.
Who preaches drink up and get down.

If it aint broke Mr Elliot lets **** with it till   it  is.
Let me hand ya a beer.
Shake it up good and watch it fizz.

Hello I hope this isnt goodbye.
Cause it just aint  much fun without Gonzo.
Im a drunk a *** a nut a pervert and a pretty nice guy.

Dear Mr Elliot sending me away wasnt  very nice.
When i think vacation  I think sun and sand.
Not the north pole  hey were the ***** santa?
Well  least for my drinks i got pleanty of ice.

In empty pages and stark contrast the storm chased away the weak now alone I stand.
The hero a pawn truth cast aside for others cause .
We embrace solutions where  no problems exist.

May the colors run red from forgotten cause and history be erased for the sake of all that must be forever mundane.

I wish only to drag you to the depths and leave you to linger where nothing but a child's logic can remain
In spider webs we threw are thoughts now tangled the words left to wither in passing days.

May we dance in empty halls to illuminate the shadows and create the ghosts for others to place there hopes of what never shall be again.

To silence the voice is but closing the chapter  to spite the clear view .
Nothing stands a statue for the promise of tomorrows decay and the ******* will parade there ignorance as the simple minded spread a plague to which we are losing this battle.

I write for no one to read and all to judge.
Where's the laughter now the jester  is asked in ruins of a kingdom now simply reduced to ruble.

I remember what you will never taste and you may judge but waters tasted pure beats the stolen verses and burrowed lines of a time I no longer care to understand.


And Time passed me as it will pass you just the same .

May the silence remind you of that which never was to be.

We all will know this place someday.

Tired of the same old scenes around here.
Thought hey im gonna explore space.
Introduce Little space dudes to bad habbits
nudie mags and maybe share a beer.

Yeah it'll take some getting use to
anti gravity bars.
Pack up the whiskey and of course the kids
honey cause were moving to mars.

People kinda look at me like my
mind did slip.
just cause im going round collecting cans.
Hell with what else are ya supposed use to
build a spaceship.

I made a few changes it runs of corn whiskey
instead of rocket fuel.
You might think im crazy.
but when my home made rocket takes off
it'll be cool.

Say goodbye kids to your ***** grandfather Bert.
Hey darlin from up here I can see down your shirt.

It's three seconds to lift off people
ya might wanna move your houses as well as cars.
Cause lord knows whats gonna happen.
in my attempt to move to mars.

Its time for lift off crap honey do ya mind lighting
fuse.
Hey kids after this maybe we'll get a reality
show.
I mean if we dont die  that would only make the local
news.

The homade rocket ship rattle and shook.
I knew i forgot something I mean it's a minor thing.
Steering wheels are overrated guess I should have got a book.

And as it lifted off into the sky.
I screamed like a little girl.
I forgot I was affraid to fly.

Yes I kinda fell short on my quest to the stars.
cause i crash landed in New Jersy.
Well kids sorry but Atlantic City is probaly
a bit more fun for daddy that is.
So much for moving to Mars.

It was  at the crack of the afternoon always  when like some old circus bear i staggred to life.
Coffee surged through my veins with a touch of turkey to embrace the day to day troubles
with a sense of reason in the insanity.

The whispers were heavy like gunshot's that filled a early morning duck hunt.
Where half drunk men shared bottles and stories of conquest's some false others just straight *******.
He's losing it ya know?

They had read my scrbblings and saw the flaws yet dared never to speak the words to
the devil in the flesh.
But much like a villan or a dam good ****** with a std i was just waitting to
run yet again.

The Gonzo of old died hard and a writer of insanity
seldom was at a loss for words or  far from a intersection of trouble.
The road called.
And I her slave seldom ignored her for any woman worth her salt
was a cruel ***** at heart and thats what made them  so dam aluering.


I was the president of debauchrey the chairman of the boy's club
a locker room jester who seldom showed his flaws.
But time scars us all and I was no diffrent.

I had slowed yet went past that edge like a child who tears into a gift seldom
looking at the paper let alone who its from.
Still that gleam in the eye did exist and the danger was all but to real.

I was ready to claim it back although none could take it from me.
The bike was older yet still had a howl like a devils hound on a sunsets promise.
the drugs the ***** the women all where but part of the drive and freedom
of a perk.

Much like the whiskey that burns in my veins id never
water down my word's
Cold wether was pointing me south  the Key's were calling
in a tragic Hemmingway sense the old man's sea was but a bitter pill
and a islands stream of erased thought.

On a road that never grew old as I.
  Soon i was off.
And God only knows what would lead to this tour of destruction.
But all i can say is gentlemen start your engines.

For the chaos has just begun.

                                               Welcome  To The Boy's Club
                                                             Part One