I have not been here for quite some time! Some really great poetry and poets!

Music books and old guitars lay scattered on the floor
The whiskey bottles empty, you won’t need it anymore
Posters on the wall of rockstars, playing to an empty room
No one lives here anymore in this dark and lonely tomb

Tortured soul, you sold your soul but you felt you had to quit
Why’d you have to ***** the fire of a torch that was barely lit
You know you meant the world to those you left behind
If only you could've talked to them or gave some kind of sign

Your fingers were still calloused cause you practiced every day
You tried to learn all the chords so that you could sing and play
Now silence fills this empty room where the music played before
It’s such a shame you took your life with a rope over the door

Tortured soul, you sold your soul but you felt you to quit
Why’d you have to ***** the fire of a torch that was barely lit
You know you meant the world to those that you left behind
If only you could've talked to them or gave some kind of sign

Your fans will never know how good you could've been
Since you took your life, and put that rope over your chin
You had to see what was on the other side of death
I wonder if you found peace as you took your last breath
There was only one way to end the pain and strife
Now you play to an audience in the eternal afterlife

You might see him wear his hat in the store downtown
He might need a cane or a walker to help him get around
He might need a hand or two to get out of his car
Don’t mind the look in his eyes or ask about his scar
He remembers it all sometimes on a dark and lonely night
When he and his buddies brought the dogs to the fight
Wipes a tear from his eyes for the pain, death, and loss
In a country so far away on a river that they had to cross
They watch as Americans burn the flag they wouldn’t drop
All that hate and discontent they wish would only stop
But that has never stopped them from fighting for me and you
They left their home and family to protect the red white and blue
None of us will never know the pain from the life he had to choose
That’s something we will never know just by watching the news
When you thank a veteran for protecting your freedom and rights
Think about the war in his mind, the one that he still fights
Think about the ones that left home, never to return
Think about the life they lost and the fires that still burn
Rise up from your knees and stand tall and proud
You don’t have to be afraid to recite the anthem out loud
You live in a country that’s been tried and true
Because a veteran bleeds red, white and blue....

United we stand and divided we fall..and if we fall then God help us all

Cold rain outside my window, I’m missing you today
I heard your laughter seems like just the other day
You know I’m just trying to fix the lonely in my mind
I can’t forget the words we said that were so unkind
It hasn’t been more than a month you walked away
I just need you here with me telling me it’s all okay
I looked at all our photographs at least a dozen times
I read all our old texts to see where I missed the signs
I promised you that I would look past all the mistakes
How much bending will my heart do before it breaks
Come back to me baby and I can try to make this right
Come back to me baby cause I ‘m just to weak to fight
When you opened the door after being away so long
I’ve had to forget my pride and try to just to be strong
You came to me with open arms and tears down your face
You must have saw my smile that I tried so hard to erase
Hold my shaking hand and lay your head upon my chest
In this empty room I call a heart, you’ll always be my guest
The subtle way you look at me, the breaths of air you take
Tell my body, heart and soul of the love you want to make
You’ve stolen my heart so long, now it’s time to give it back
You’ve always been my biggest fan, the star of my soundtrack
Your voice is like my favorite song, I could listen to all night
Your timing is always perfect and these lyrics I love to write
A picture is worth a thousand words, our faces fill the frame
A feeling is worth a million then, I hope you still feel the same
I wrap my arms around you and softly kiss the back of your neck
Deep inside you’ll never know, how you’ve made my heart a wreck
Its just the way you see me, you know all my ups and downs
You’re always there for me, even through all of my breakdowns
When you say you love me, I don’t have to wonder anymore
We really haven’t changed a lot since you walked out my door
You woke my guitar from the sleep that it was in for such a long time
My fingers slowly brush the strings, but you make words of the song rhyme

The transition from death to another state is not painful in itself; that is reserved for those who are left behind. For without pain, there is no fear. And so, we should leave this world the same way we come into it...fearless. Time is no longer of consequence...the hands of Death's clock are forever bound by the depths of eternity.

Today I finally looked inside myself and saw my broken heart
I tried to find a tool that would fix it, maybe some kind of  chart
But my toolbox was as empty as my soul, and no charts exist
How then can I mend this broken heart, how can I get it fixed?
I went to my doctor, and he tried to give me pills, but it was no use
There’s not a pill in this world that can take away my hearts abuse
I tried to speak to my family,  they have the same symptoms as I do
I’m sure if I brought it up they would understand and get me through
But how can I speak, when the words I say are mingled with these tears
How do I comfort them when my heart is broken, because its full of fears?
When you left this world, it shattered my heart, everything stopped
When I heard the news, I just went numb and my heart just dropped
This is about the time that my heart must have been broken no doubt
Maybe Ill get a sign and attach it to my heart, a sign that says “keep out”
This way it couldn’t possibly get hurt again, and maybe it will fix itself
If I pick up all the shards of my broken heart, maybe I can fix it myself
I will try to piece this heart of mine together using all the tools I can find
Memories, Happiness, Love, all the good things we shared I can call mine
The cold rain pours outside, and the only warmth I find is memories of you
My heart skips, as it is drowning in the sorrow of another day of feeling blue
Beyond hurt and loneliness I take comfort in knowing where you now rest
If there is any consolation in tragedy, it’s that you are no longer oppressed
Just know that you can’t be forgotten, in my heart I can still feel your love
For I know that you will always be with me, watching over me from above

Soft words that fall into the space, just outside delicious blood red lips
When you say my name, you will never feel how my lonely heart skips
Remember your spoken words, how my eyes were fixed solely on you?
Did you ever think to ask yourself , who it is you were really talking to?
I catch my breath after you stole it way, leaving my lungs so absent of air
I lay slain in your field of blue, hopelessly lost in your words somewhere
I tried so many times to tell you how I feel, my spoken words always fail
My words are just like a blind man, searching through volumes of braille
Your eyes saw right through me, and held me captive on through the night
I wonder if you ever knew, that it was a single moment of love at first sight

If I could pull the stars down one by one
You know I would, just for you
If I could just lasso that old moon
You know I would, just for you
If I could find one thing to make you smile
I’d say goodbye, and I’d drive a country mile
I’d find a field full of daisies, for the one I love
A field full of daisies, and pick them one by one
I’d give them to the girl I really love
And that’s you, baby it’s all…just for you
If I could put the sunlight in your hair
You know I would just for you
If I could stop the rains from falling down
You know I would, just for you
Since I can’t always paint a sky of blue
There’s one thing that I know I can do
I’ll find a field full of daisies, for the one I love        
A field full of daisies, and pick them one by one
I’ll give them to the girl I really love
And that’s you, baby it’s all…just for you
©J.Ray 5.15.15

Love’s a ship and my heart your castaway                                            
You are my wonderful weekend getaway
Lost in your eyes, pretending not to see
The love that we share, just you and me
Your skin glistens with the oceans spray
Speaking in words we don’t have to say
Driftwood burns until the early morning light
When embers spread and fade from our sight
For the flames of our love die quiet and alone
To be rekindled again diving into the unknown
The taste of the ocean on lips that are wet
I see that I am endlessly caught in your net
The sunset in your eyes like fire on the ocean
When I look inside they reveal your emotion
When you look back into mine, try not to forget
Because you saved me, I am forever in your debt
© J.Ray 2.1.2016

A single leaf fell from a single tree                       c. 8.14.14 J.Ray
It blew lightly upon a cool fall breeze
It lay upon the wet soft cold ground
Not caring to be alone and unfound
It cares not to move or ever be seen
It cares not whether the grass is green
It lay camouflaged among the thousands fair
The leaf shows only its simple beauty there
It is only with the many that its simple beauty blends
With all the others among it, that it can call its friends
So many times we fall just as that single leaf
Through all the sadness, anger, misery and grief
So many times we feel so dark and utterly alone
Forgetting about the tree of which it has grown
We should all be so lucky to float upon the cool fall breeze
We should throw cares to the wind and put our minds at ease

My soul passed away and left today                       c.8.4.14 J.Ray
Since now I’m dead to you anyway
There was no casket, or no eulogy read
My body  still here, my soul gone ahead
My lips sewn together by the web you spun
Alone in the dark with no hint of the the sun
Blinded by the light I can no longer see
Was there ever just a you or just a me?
Dressed in black just so I can try to blend in
Merely a camouflage of the darkness within
I feel the sting of Deaths touch in my final breaths fade
My soul was sold for you though the debt is yet unpaid
My heart turns black as our true love fades
I fall into a hole, black as the Ace of Spades
Spirits pulling my soul in every direction
Ultimately landing in one final location
I find my solace in the nothingness of the everything
Upon my pain I built my kingdom; I crown myself King
In this, my Court of Madness I alone preside
Here at the Roundtable of Insanity I reside
I summon my servants whom I know how to feed
For they know how to fatten a King when in need
Through my hearts chamber door they all survive
In walks Anger and Hatred; they made it in alive

Closely follows Fear, Remorse, Regret, Envy, Hunger, and Thirst
They seat themselves at my table first one last and last one first
All in black robes, I can’t see their faces, but in my heart they dwell
They all are with me now, with eyes as bright as the furnace of Hell
Clouds of Rage and the flames of searing crimson
Surround my fallen body and blur my dark vision
I dip my quill into the Ink of Despair and Pain
Surely I have lost my mind and gone insane
I write for you this tale of Rhythm of Rhyme
It seems I played the Jester as I end every time
Misery surely loves its company, the adage is true
There seems to be no end to what I will go through

I don’t need you in my head                             c.7.8.14 J.Ray
I don’t want you in my bed
I don’t need your indifference
I don’t need your deliverance
You should just kick me in the *****
You left me here to watch four walls
Take your demons to someone new
I tried to walk through fire with you
Upon my castle you cast your crown
You came in once, you tore it down
I don’t need your pity or your shame
Find someone else to play your game
You are in my head and in my heart
When you are here,you tear it apart
You cast me aside, just like yesterday’s news
Did you really think that you were my muse?
So find some confetti and throw it in the air
You will never again have to see my derriere

My ears hear all the words that you sing                               c.6.21.14
And it sounds like the whisper of spring
Your smile captures my fainting heart
Although we seem to be worlds apart
Your lips say the words I want to hear
Your fingers hold my heart so sincere
I'm caught in your spell so mesmerized
And your eyes they got me hypnotized
So stay with me and leave your scent
For me to remember the time we spent
You build me up and tear me down
You can do it all without a sound
My moves are measured by your grace
My love is measured by your embrace
Upon my heart you have written your name
The one I love, I.. will never be the same
So feel my skin, and touch my soul
My heart is yours to have and to hold
And if it should break into tiny pieces
In the shards of my heart our love releases

She cries at night as she tries to sleep                     c. 6.13.14 J.Ray
A victim of the life she tries to keep
She lives her life inside her own mind
She looks for the things she cannot find
Trapped inside, she just lost her way
She is someone new each and every day
Takes meds today, so tomorrow she’s fine
But the Doctor says that she’s Borderline
Silence the quiet whispers and deny all your pain
The voices in your head have all come back again
The doctors and the nurses say that you’re insane
We can make her better they always seem to claim
But we know better ‘cause they’re the one to blame
Sleeping so well now and the time sure flies
When your mind goes away a part of me dies
Nothing but finest pills the nurses will bring
Effects can **** you but you won’t feel a thing
She’s here today, so tomorrow she’s fine
But the Doctor says she’s just Borderline

I watched as the storm gathered its strength                         c. 6.11.14 J.Ray
As it summoned its lightning from the heavens
I listened for the thunder and marveled at its resonance.
I watched as the rains came and drenched the land
Each grain of dry land was consumed by its own thirst.
I watched as the river roared, and carved a new way
I watched as the trees swayed, but stood firm in the soil
I watched as the storm passed, along with its darkness and unfounded fear
As the darkness gave way to light, the sun no longer hides his face from me
We weather the storms that life brings, this way we can appreciate the sun
Sometimes we tend to go our own way, as the river, and carve out our existence
Sometimes we are swayed, but must stand firm, and hold on by our roots
Sometimes we are so overcome by want, that we are consumed by that very desire
As does the ground, we remain, and bask in the light.
Watching and waiting
For the next storm

Addiction coursing through my veins                  c. 6/9/14 J.Ray
In my private hell all it does is rain
Your heart I keep so close to my own
Sometimes just a picture of all alone
Can your heart still beat with just an ache?
Do you really think it’s too hard to break?
Your Bedroom eyes, cause suicide
Lock your emotions deep inside
Your words keep ringing in my ears
Calm the waters calm my fears
A whisper of lies upon my face
You rob my guilt but save my grace
You throw me in your lake of fire
You burn my body with my desire
Lose yourself in your own demise
When you leave a part of me dies
You are taking everything away
And you know that I can’t make you stay


Thanks for reading my attempt...I hope you enjoyed, comments and critique are always welcome!

If you were a mermaid                                   c. 6.8.14 J.Ray                         
I’d follow you down
I wouldn’t be afraid
If I had to drown

Into the dark sea
We swim all alone
Though we cannot see
Into the depths unknown

Through the waves
And through the sand
To Pirate’s graves
Let me hold your hand

Sharks around us got big teeth
Hold you close and calm the fear
The dangers in the underneath
But the water is just oh so clear

Your hair catches the suns final ray
I hate to go now but I’ll be with you soon
In my true heart I wish I could stay
I kiss you goodbye with light of the moon

I bleed from the wounds you inflict
I never knew you loved me, you never let it show
When you’re around my veins constrict
I can’t breathe when you’re near, Feels like I’m stuck in snow
My mouth is open, but my lips are still
I try to speak, but my words, my words they always fail
I feel the wind, I feel the chill
What I wanted to say, has just been set to sail
I see you leave, I watched you go
The door of my heart, you closed so slow
My eyes gave way, my tears like rain
My stomach wrenching in so much pain
I’ve ran aground in this ship of a fool
In my own mind, I feel like such a tool
You’ve made my heart an empty hole
Your lies drained my wounded soul
My mouth is open, but my lips are still
I try to speak, but my words, my words they always fail
I feel the wind, I feel the chill
What I wanted to say, has just been set to sail
I never listened to the silence, until I was alone
Loneliness is my new friend; you know I’m cold as stone
Evil walks in the midst of my soul
It shows its head, when you come around
I’m blinded by love, it’s such a curse
Don’t forget that I loved you first
I don’t believe that I’m the worst
I am your spell; I’ll always be your curse

Indifference (Drown Me)             J.Ray 7/23/13
I lived in a world of illusion                                      
I thought that you were mine
My mind is full of confusion
Our love seemed so benign
You never loved me I should have guessed
But you always pretended to do your best                                  
You try to rain on my parade
I get so tired of this charade
You bathe me in your confidence
Then you drown me with indifference
I’m so confused I can’t read you
We used to have a love so true
While I still have a soul to sell
Got to free myself from my own Hell
Silent treatment from your skin
I watch your chest as you breathe in
You bathe me in your confidence
Then you drown me with indifference
I’m so confused I can’t read you
We used to have a love so true
The darkness hides the smile on your face
As you say you need to have your space
Paint it white ‘cause you’re so pure
You got no disease, but you got the cure
There is no sun, there is no rain
Only darkness fills my den of pain

Broken Tracks #################                              
Loneliness in my head
Like a cold black train
Never know when I’ll see you again
I sit in solitary waiting for a sign
My mind is pacing my heart is racing
In my dark my mind your eyes they flash
Just a glimpse of who you are
And in my dark mind, your eyes they flash
How I can I erase these scars
You’re locked away
I threw away the key
Whatever happened to you and me
Flames flicker in the night sky
How it hurts to see you cry
Only time will tell if I live in my own hell    
I burn myself to stay awake
And only time will tell
If I live in my own hell
How much more pain can I take
My Heart is leaving
It won’t come back
It’s caught the train that runs on a broken track