idiosyncrasy: Poems

ᏰᏋᎥᏁᎶ ᏗᏝᎥᏉᏋ

idiosyncrasy Apr 2020

ᏰᏋᎥᏁᎶ ᏗᏝᎥᏉᏋ

ɨȶ ɖօɛֆռ'ȶ ɦǟʋɛ ȶօ ʍǟӄɛ ֆɛռֆɛ

idfk. i just feel like we forget that the universe doesn't owe us a ******* thing.

#nonsense

4/20

idiosyncrasy Apr 2020

4/20

if this smoke
buries me
six feet under

at least i'll
be able to
see the clouds

when i'm in
hell

happy 4/20 everyone.

really quick: drugs kinda rock, but pleasepleaseplease be careful and responsible in how you use them. i understand the need to visit that third space that can only be reached through mind altering substances, but please do not get addicted to those chemicals. if there is one thing that is super important for your body, it's balance. please do not od. that is terrifying on a variety of levels for you and your loved ones.

now. i'm not your mom. and you should have fun. but please just be careful. the world needs you <3

that said. light up and pass it around.

apologize

idiosyncrasy Mar 2020

apologize

everytime you
break my
heart

i'm the one
that says
sorry

#love

blue eyes

idiosyncrasy May 2020

blue eyes

i miss you
and it isn't even poetic
anymore

</3

buzzcut season

idiosyncrasy Jan 2020

buzzcut season

the hair lands, making black rings in the bathroom
it looks longer when it's severed
more alive on the floor than it ever was on my head
somehow more elegant framing the tile than my face

i just looked
not meeting my eyes in the mirror

when it was all gone
out of sight down the drain, or in the trash
i finally looked at myself

nothing softening my face
nothing distracting from my harsh features
nothing covering up my insecurities
nothing to hide my fear

but this way
it feels real

not even buzzcut season. my head is so cold lol.

but it's worth it. i feel like i can let go.

#buzz

crescent moons in my hands

idiosyncrasy Jan 2020

crescent moons in my hands

i used to look like a whisper

soft and fragile
barely more than silence
trying so hard not to disturb
afraid to break

now when people look at me, they see a scream

loud and unforgiving
filling the space with indignation
no pauses, no hesitation
breaking everything

but i can't see me. i can just listen.
i sound like fingernails biting palms

#alskdjf #****

foolish hope

idiosyncrasy Dec 2019

foolish hope

i am a fool
emptying my chest
and searching for gold
that you cannot give

foolish wanderer

idiosyncrasy Dec 2019

foolish wanderer

searching for truth
in a sea of uncertainty
looking desperately for answers
in the land of unknowns

i must be a fool

french tonsils

idiosyncrasy Dec 2020

french tonsils

my tongue isn’t
long enough
to reach all the places down your throat
it wants to touch

i’ll have to kiss your ribs
some other way

idfk. happy two year anniversary, love

#love #kiss #anniversary #tongue #ribs #arson

girls I

idiosyncrasy May 2020

girls I

they say
boys want a girl
with a big ***

well i just
want a girl
with big thoughts

this might be a lil series. idk.

i really miss my gf, dude.

#girls #boys #me #*** #thoughts

girls II

idiosyncrasy May 2020

girls II

they say
boys want a girl
to make them feel
powerful

i just
want a girl
to make me feel
loved

touch
starved
</3

#boys #girls #me #powerful #loved

girls III

idiosyncrasy May 2020

girls III

they say
boys want a girl
that is good
in the kitchen

i just
want a girl
that is good
in my arms

xoxo

#boys #girls #me #kitchen #hugs #cuddles

girls IV

idiosyncrasy Jun 2020

girls IV

they say
boys want a girl
to talk
less

i just
want a girl
to judge herself
less

come as you are. that's just how i want you <3

let's grow together.

5-8-2020

#boys #girls #me #talk #judge #stereotypes

girls V

idiosyncrasy Jun 2020

girls V

they say
boys want a girl
who is easy
to push over

i just
want a girl
who is easy
to be strong with

don't ever let anyone tell you that strength isn't attractive. come here and hug me with all those muscles. mwah.

06-16-2020

#girls #boys #me #want #pushover #strong

i don't deserve you

idiosyncrasy Feb 2020

i don't deserve you

i deserve
someone
that will
at least
say
goodbye

#goodbye #love

i'm such a hypocrite

idiosyncrasy May 2020

i'm such a hypocrite

can someone teach me
how to take my own advice?

because i've been
telling others
to swim ashore
as i drown

#drown #hypocrite #advice

let me know

idiosyncrasy Feb 2020

let me know

give me a
heads up
when you start
caring

m a y b e

idiosyncrasy May 2020

m a y b e

maybe
maybe i'm
maybe i'm crazy
maybe i'm crazy and
maybe i'm crazy and lonely
maybe i'm crazy and lonely but
maybe i'm crazy and lonely but if
maybe i'm crazy and lonely but if you're
maybe i'm crazy and lonely but if you're still
maybe i'm crazy and lonely but if you're still here
maybe i'm crazy and lonely but if you're still here then
maybe i'm crazy and lonely but if you're still here then maybe

maybe you are, too.

"moral superiority"

idiosyncrasy Mar 2020

"moral superiority"

hell is just
the church's
basement

#idk #12amthoughts #hell #heaven #religion #athiest

"mother"

idiosyncrasy Apr 2020

"mother"

do not even
think my
name

you have
forfeited that
privilege

things are... tense

04.29.20

#mom

myoclonus

idiosyncrasy Jan 2020

myoclonus

tired
so tired
of
caring

so i pretended my hair
was everything i had ever cared too much about
the stupid validation that i craved
every incessant insecurity
anyone i gave a **** about, that never looked at me twice

and
i took the clippers
and buzzed it all off

rockin the buzzcut.

#killme #alsdkjf #****

nail polish

idiosyncrasy Jan 2020

nail polish

they paint their nails dark shades of midnight
and wear clothes the color of ink
crying drops of ebony eyeliner
and listening to music angry as black
to the beat of clinking chains on their raven jeans

i think they are trying to mark up the world
with their sharpies
silently screaming "i am here"

i would rather be clothed in shadow
painting my nails in shades of heather
leaving my face bare and ashen
and listening to chords simple as grey
to the slow beat of plain charcoal strings around my wrists

i just doodle in the corner of my backyard
with light strokes of my pencil
wishing to disappear

#grey

pause

idiosyncrasy Sep 2019

pause

life
doesn't stop

it keeps rushing on
without me

i wish i could push pause
sometimes

so i could
figure myself out
before the moment happens
and i have to be
outside
of myself
again

but there is no pause button.

feeling dizzy

#pause #life

scar tissue

idiosyncrasy Jan 2020

scar tissue

for every scar
you've made
on my heart

i've pinned an apology note
so that it knows
everything was my fault

a;slkdjfdksla;

#justifications #for #love

selfish

idiosyncrasy May 2020

selfish

sometimes
it's hard to know
that people
keep walking
when i
fall.

it's always hard
when you keep walking.

i wish you'd offer me a hand. even if it's not mine to take anymore. even if it's connected to hers, i don't ******* care. i just need you to pick me up.

5-8-2020

#pick #me #up #im #selfish

shout

idiosyncrasy Jul 2020

shout

the space between listening and hearing,
that's where you'll find my hiding place;

where i go when the words get too fast
and the sounds get too loud

#hide

sleeping awake

idiosyncrasy Apr 2020

sleeping awake

fast awake
and wide asleep
and shooting all
these ******* sheep

#idfk

social distancing

idiosyncrasy Apr 2020

social distancing

6 feet apart
or
6 feet under

i can't tell which
i'd prefer

absolutely touch starved </3

04.20.2020

#**** #quarantine

suck my kiss (10w)

idiosyncrasy Jan 2020

**** my kiss (10w)

there's nothing
i wouldn't give
for your smile
inside mine

*red hot chilli peppers

#love #kiss

tell me

idiosyncrasy Feb 2020

tell me

how the ****
do i
move on?

because you've done a stellar job

#ex #love #move #on

the art of not talking

idiosyncrasy Jul 2020

the art of not talking

me: hey
you: hey
me: wyd?
you: nothing. hbu?
me: same.

seen 23:49

left on read -_-

#******

there aren't enough words (10w)

idiosyncrasy Feb 2020

there aren't enough words (10w)

i love
you so
much

that i
run out
of--

you are indescribable

<3

#love

title

idiosyncrasy Aug 2020

title

poem

107 views

no likes
no loves
no reposts
no adds
no comments
no flags
no messages

notes

#tags

touchless abuse

idiosyncrasy Feb 2020

touchless abuse

hit me
it would sting
less
than you
walking away

yell at me
it would be
quieter
than you
avoiding my eyes

**** me
it would
be more
merciful
than you
pretending you love me

how did this happen?

#love #**** #alskfjalsjf

'you moved on'

idiosyncrasy Feb 2020

'you moved on'

those three words
hurt me
more than losing you
ever did

and you never even
said them to me

"you can love someone so much... but you can never love people as much as you can miss them" -John Green

#broken #heart

— The End —