To the late night train
You hop on and off of
Making frequent stops
Working overnight for your enjoyment
Over worked and used
Is no longer in service
We had to realign ourselves
You do as you please.
I'm just a human,
in the form of a woman.
So of course, you can
do as you please.
How dare I speak up my mind?
I should just shut up.
My no means yes to you,
so why do I even bother?
But that ain't working,
not anymore at least.
This pushover has been
pushed too close to the edge.
Tornado meets volcano;
and destruction will lay upon you.
Let me erase your being,
so you can start anew.
And this time I'll help
by planting in your mind
a simple seed of common sense.
I'm a pretty calm person, I rarely ever get mad. But this one guy at the train pushed the wrong button when he decided to ***** me twice. I hope he learned his lesson when I snapped and told him off.
I've become the worst poet,
you always seem to love my work
when the words aren't mine.
I've become the highest pushover,
I tend to take your unwanted advice
with a closed mouth and a lying nod.
I've become your vassal,
working my hardest to make all your days luminous
wondering why mine are so overcast.
I've become this ball of anxiety,
making sure you are calm and collect in life
while I am stricken with trepidation.
Most of all I've become a liar
for blaming it on you my whole life
when not once did I speak up the truth to you
I’ve stopped trying to please the people I cannot please
And in exchange I find myself looking to please me
I’ve stopped trying to find goals and achieve expensive pieces of paper
Cause I’m the end we are going to the same place proper.
Heaven or hell in dirt encrested ground
Embalmed or silent ash making microbial sounds
Because you let yourself become a doormat for any and everyone who wishes to take what it is they want of you
Because you stay up all night and stare at a blank screen hoping that maybe you'll get the text back you crave
Because you'll have six cups of coffee hoping the amount of caffeine will make your hands shake hard enough that you won't be able to double text
Because you have become so dissatisfied with your life that you have given up completely, passively allowing the waves to drag you down
Because you have allowed yourself to become victim to the pain others wish to inflict upon you, never taking up the courage to fight for yourself
Because you have torn open the skin on your thighs, hips and arms like a child tears wrapping paper on Christmas morning, red on silver as you open wounds like gifts
Because there is much good in the world you could create, but you have allowed yourself to become a shell of a person rarely haunted by the kind soul you used to be
I wish I was strong
I wish I was strong enough to get out from under the comfort of my sheets
Or the warm water washing over my body in the shower
I wish I was strong enough to open my books,
Instead of listening to the same five songs again
I wish I was strong enough to get over a loss,
Be it a failed exam or a boss I can’t beat in a video game
I wish I was strong enough to help my friends
Because that's the person I strive to be
I wish I was strong enough to keep that job
I wish I was strong enough to like my own works
But it’s hard to when they look like this
No rhyme scheme or metaphors
Only thing this poem has got going for itself is that repeating stanza
Real clever or whatever
You call it slam poetry
But you might as well call it sham poetry
Because you need to be slammed drunk to enjoy your poems
And don’t even pretend like you didn’t notice
How no one seems to give a **** about this
This series of ‘works’ that you’ve been putting out
Where all you do is ******* swear and shout
I bet your last line would have been
“I wish I was strong enough to love myself.”
Boo ******* hoo
Too ******* bad
Because you’ll only love me the moment you realize
That what I say is true
I’m not gonna say that I’m only rude
Because I love you
I hate your guts too
much for something so…
You’re a bit of a sentimental, right, boo?
If sentimental meant pushover
Sorry, didn’t mean to scare
Oh wait, no, I don’t really care
Because even you’re aware
How you’ve locked yourself in an echo room
And the moment someone tries to break through…
“Don’t worry, I can take it.”
And then you write something edgy like this
You can’t take advice for ****
Because that’s your ******* deal
You’ve got tonnes of people giving you the advice that you need to heal
And you ignore every single one of them
Acquaintances, friends, family
And what about me?
DO I REALLY NEED TO ******* YELL TO GET THROUGH TO YOU
But It’s pointless anyway
You’re on auto-pilot already
Just cut the act and write your cringy addendum poem
We’re done here
And it's so **** cyclical.
I leave little bits of me everywhere I go,
I find stranded bits of her in every new place
And like a metal detector he collects them all.
I'm not good enough
I'm not small enough
I’m not smart enough
Not happy enough
I’m not enough.
Mother told me to get a man as soon as I could
Guess she thought I'd be "unlucky"
So when a man finally came along
I wanted to say
Marry me, he says
It's MY finger
Love me, he says
It's MY feelings
**** me, he says
It's MY ******
Wear this, he says
It's MY body
Be mine, he says
I am MY own person
However I succumbed and married him
Only to have 3 affairs
and the saddest life in the closet
never able to be my true self.
I should have said all along
Don't rush me
I hope I never become this,
It is my biggest fear
Just thought I would share it with all of you
I used to compromise often...
That's why I've been so hurt,
Always giving a man just what he wants
Never getting what I really need.
So, I'm done being a pushover...
From now on,
I'm getting what I want first
Then possibly giving in
You know what?
From now on,
I'm gonna be a *****...
You've been forewarned...
— The End —