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 Apr 2018 hypos
Amanda Kay Burke
I wish I could freeze moments shared in the past
The courageous minute time sealed certain fate
The little girl I was, stubborn, stupid, and immature
Wanted too badly to be your forever mate.

My young heart; pure and poetic
Easily misled by alcoholic lips
Remember our first real conversation? I melted
I long to have those same sweet stomach flips.

I watch you now, older body and face
Laugh at how blind I was to your flaws
While clouds darken the past even more
You breathe in the same hurt you cause.

Cannot see beyond the suffering
I watch you try to rekindle the fire
You dance among burning embers
Absence dismissed, I begin to tire.

A soundtrack to our summers
Birdsong always seemed to fill loyal air
Now cheerful melody seems mocking
Inhaling their tunes with barely a care.

Out the window, I recognize clear roads
Recollect ancient paths, sigh and reflect
The breeze is the temperature it was then
Can't withstand the ice memories collect.

Heart trips over unclaimed baggage
I cannot see how big yoursuitcase really seems
You're dying, at least part of your life is
You are fine with losing all our dreams.

In your gaze rest a few hints of regret
Out of time, still let it finally show
Bedroom reminds me of the worst pieces of us
Feel like the walls contain secrets only we know.

Sitting on my floor, staring at a small mirror
An assaulting intruder is what I see looking back
An unwelcome guest forced her way in
My view alights an invisible attack.

The fangs you sunk beneath my skin
Always had me ensnared
You were worse than a drug, loved your high
No matter what family said I never cared.

Sight muddy from substances, I was stumbling
Didn't think I could be ready to say goodbye
Back in those days I owned no worry or concerns
Now I am chased by echoes of a beautiful lie.

Did I fall for you, or your friendly illusions?
Looking backwards, its hard to seperate
Which chapters were real and which were fake
Regardless, they will not cease to resonate.
Memories are bittersweet
 Apr 2018 hypos
Amanda Kay Burke
I lost a lively part of myself somewhere
I am all alone and incomplete
Longing to feel whole once more
I give another piece to you, will history repeat?
History is doomed to repeat itself
 Mar 2018 hypos
Amanda Kay Burke
"You just have to want it" I think
I lay panting, pinned to the cold floor
Right now I lie completely defeated
I guess I have to want it more

The words sing truth and honesty
If they didn't you would not use them so much
When the author spoke he or she must have
never felt pure heartache's cool touch

I badly want to keep it together
I am breaking piece by piece
Tired of faking emotions, falling apart
Within these wild feelings won't cease

I have pushed my will as far as it can go
Never have I longed for something so desperately before
You must be the exception to that phrase
I cannot attain your heart by wanting it more
My boyfriend always says "You just have to want it" like that is the solution to all our problems. Like I can just want something into existence. With us they are things I can do though.
 Mar 2018 hypos
Amanda Kay Burke
I didn't mean to hurt you
I know that does not make it right
If good intentions really pave the road to Hell
I have been laying bricks all night
The road to Hell is paved with good intentions
 Mar 2018 hypos
Amanda Kay Burke
I know you don't believe me
When I say that I am okay
Seeing you is all I need
To make it through each day

Today i have not slept a wink
And my hair is a total mess
The first thing you say to me is
"Baby you are the best"

My heart starts beating faster
It knows when you are near
Your sugary voice whispering
Is the only thing I hear

You pull me into your arms
The whole world seems alright
My memory of you
Guides me through another night

With my head on your chest
Picture-perfect, the way it should be
Promise you will love me forever and ever
Never forget my memory
I will not forget yours
 Mar 2018 hypos
Amanda Kay Burke
I am tired of
Letting you down so instead
I will lift you up
I dont know if i have the strength but im going to give it my all
 Mar 2018 hypos
Amanda Kay Burke
You think I dont care? That has to be a joke,
The smile I wear is a thin threadbare cloak,
Covering the pain dwelling inside,
I thought you of all people would see the hurt I hide.
I am sure my next words will be hard to believe,
A happy ending for us both is what I'm trying to achieve,
I know we were sure that meant us forever,
Now I see to find peace we must sever.
We will never find happiness with pain and doubt
Clouding our hearts, we both must choose a different route,
I tell everyone we know that I am great,
But distance between us I honestly hate.
I break down when finding myself alone,
I swear I feel your absence weigh down each bone,
The tears shed in solitude, if only you knew,
You can't see but that doesn't mean I'm not crying too.
I hold it in until no one is around,
Then sob and scream; throw my fists on the ground,
I collect myself, in public act like nothing is wrong,
Crumbling underneath a surface that is strong.
It is for you I perform a show,
Pretend I am content so you will not know,
How difficult it is for me to tell you goodbye,
How much it hurts when you don't reply.
You can't supply the one thing I need,
You are destined to lie, make my heart bleed.
No matter the strength of love we feel,
For eachother, the way to heal,
Is move forward separately, gracefully part,
Leave past love behind though it cripples my heart.
I laugh so you won't see the agony below,
The best thing for our two lives is for me to let you go.
The right thing and the easy thing are rarely the same
 Mar 2018 hypos
Cné
Break my Chains
 Mar 2018 hypos
Cné
~
Hold my hand and persuade the way
tell me all you want to say
~
Whisper softly in my ear,
all those things I want to hear
~
Kiss my lips and touch my skin
bring out passions deep within
~
Draw me close and hold me near
eradicate my pain and fear
~
In the darkness of the night,
shine your beacon, be my light
~
In the luster of the sun,
demonstrate you are the one
~
Offer me wings so I can fly
and I will soar when you're nearby
~
Infilrate my heart, break the wall,
it's time for me to let it fall
~
I've been a prisoner, extensively
Break my chains and set me free
~
Strip me of my armor tight
this time I won't put up a fight
~
Release my soul held deep within
For you’re in my heart where love begins

~
 Mar 2018 hypos
Amanda Kay Burke
I am aware each breath might be my last
I'm careless with them though
If tragedy strikes and I die today
There are a few things I need you to know

You are the best I've ever had
You are not mine anymore
Better than highs from any drug
Ever readily ingested before

You changed me completely inside
The way I think; how my heart beats
I lost my confidence somewhere
Amidst folds of your tangled sheets.

I will always treasure moments
Spent together the most
I screenshotted every sentimental
Romantic Instagram post

I kept every present you bestowed
My tie-dyed hoodie and stuffed bear
Cherish each gift, though they make it
Impossible to pretend you did not care

You taught me to understand
The broken, fallen, and dark
By helping me to become that myself
A lesson that left a substantial mark

You showed me how to laugh through fear
I remember that tip every other day
You knew there was happiness to find
Even when skies were cloudy and grey

In your arms I learned to open up
Gave my secrets, shadows, and scars to you
Unlocked the door to vulnerable parts
Of my soul. That took courage to do

Thank you for being there to care
Loving me despite my worst
Most of the time I was put second
I could tell you wanted me to come first

Betrayal made me understand
How brave it is to forgive
Holding tight to bitter resentment
Is not the way to peacefully live

You proved to me it is possible
To overcome certain defeat
If two people put forth 100%
They will get up when knocked off their feet

The most profound thing discovered
Thanks to memories you left in my brain
Is when you meet the right person
The love you feel is worth every bit of pain
Tell them how you feel
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