this is for every conversation where I hesitated
and each instant I second-guessed myself
for all the moments that should have been
and every "what if" that I've over-thought
I've lost so many opportunities
from choosing to say nothing one too many times,
and what I meant hid behind closed lips
so instead my silence spoke too loud
but hopefully you're listening now
and these unspoken truths will finally be heard
so this language between us of misunderstandings
might finally be able to be put into words

For my own good
I do not speak to you
And for my own taste
I'll continue not to

Drowning in an unrelenting sea of my thoughts and feelings. A new wave crashes against the deck before the last wave is quelled.
It's endless, however it doesn't feel like a sea of hopelessness.
I am vastly built with all of these mechanisms, some good, while some are bad and could use a little fixing.
Incredibly headstrong, and my heart is constantly exposed.
Where as many aspects of myself stays the same, there are parts like the gears of a clock which are constantly moving. Changing, growing and replenishing.
Even though it's never proven a good trait, I tend to romanticize things, people, places...
A gorgeous smile in a dim-light room.
Eyes screaming "I want you", while you're fighting with your conscious not to give in to the temptation of what's before you.
Nights like this, alone in my bed. Wind howling outside and my mind being overly contemplative.
I find myself wanting to reach out to someone, to make some sort of post that intrigues someone enough to have a conversation with me.
But I'm so far from that person.
Hold it all in, keep it to myself like I always do.
These feelings will pass, but I don't want them to.