Keeping your mouth shut
let's people think you are a fool
but opening your mouth also proves it

Body shaking, stomach burning inside
to out, escape and leave me, for I mistreat
you terribly and I am not sorry. Each day is a

struggle, yes, but each morning a glimmer
of hope reflected in vanishing numbers tied to
sluggish skin. Your breath on my neck and

her arms around my shoulders, stretching the
concave of my chest and the hungry cut of my jaw,
twin collarbones thrusting out like the tip of a blade.

I ******* hate you
And this power you have over me
Because I don't fall in love gently
I fall so hard into the water and I sink; and I drown
I'm looking for you round every corner
In every blue Toyota
In every buzz of my phone
I come up empty
We're strangers
We've come full circle
But how long will it be before I'm done dreaming of you?

I question myself
if this real love
I feel inside,
I question if I should
Trust these butterflies
They fool me every time

You've stacked the deck in your favor,
but if even one card shifts
the entire house comes crashing down.

Hitting as the dealer holds
you've folded, revealing your hand.
What a Joker you've become!

The bluff has fallen on deaf ears.

Nothing ever quite seems to get in my head,
I want to scream and constantly feel as if I'm brain dead.
I try to understand and help how I can,
Yet I end up feeling a pathetic excuse of your man.

There is nothing but hot air that resides up there,
A cloud of gas in my skull protected by hair.
I'm an idiot and am never of use,
I deserve to be sat there and yelled at with abuse.

Im impossible to work with, a pain in the ***,
When all I intend to do is help you be the one to pass.
Im failing school cause of how useless I am,
Its comes across to others like I couldn't give a ****.

I am a failure
I am a child
But this is never who I wanted to be...just simply cant help change the things I hate most about me