The colors from your insecurities slowly merge into a rainbow of darkness and destruction.
wind howls back at the lone wolf to stand its ground, but moves quietly with a rapid pace .
the rain washes away sins and sends memories of murdered children through the tears of their loved ones.
my skin seems to open up like a blossoming tulip with the hope of seeing the sun just knowing that it brings the gift of photosynthesis
father please forgive me the wildlife sings

this is my last and final goodbye
as I write this I think of the times you made me cry.
with your hurtful words
and your loving smile to others
the leather belt that struck my back and left the open wounds
the hot iron on my arm when I talked back
and the fist against my skull if I did something wrong.
love me, to mom

hot white sun
toasty warm sand
seas that smile at the night sky
icy strawberry lemonade
liquor and bbq
ripe peaches and pineapples
ahhhhh...the perfect setting

my mommy tells me im beautiful
my mommy tells me im smart
society says im ugly
cause my thighs don't part
my mommy says ignore them
she says don't let them faze you
but the world says you are disgusting because of what
the good lord gave you.....
well which one is it?
am I strong
or am I weak?
am I pretty or ugly?
these are questions I must ask.
why does the world have to be like that

big beautiful brown eyes that have seen too many tears to remember
her heart scarred from broken friendships and ruined relationships
everything has simply been broken
cuts lie on her wrists and thighs as she tried to let the pain escape her innocent , no longer pure body
as she sits and thinks why is this happening to me...

The big cracked silver monstrosity rung
It was like a switch in the back of my mind.
My vision was clouded with hanging bodies and bleeding feet
My soul was lifted and set on fire by the devil himself
They were hanging from the olive tree branches with ropes and stones.
fingernails cracked with my bare back exposed and whipped with the whip of  my keeper.
My voice is hoarse and lost from the screams of the people in my dreams.
The glass I drink from cuts my lips
My blood ...........the color of a roses he bought me on the day of my funeral
Let my soul fly with black-winged angels that ride on dead white horses

im the calm before the storm.
I try to cover all my drama then bring it to you
like opening a beatifully wrapped gift to find out there was only underwear inside
but not just any underwear
ones that are torn and distressed, but not from being worn
its from being passed on from friend to friend.
I wish I had a new gift but this is all I have to offer.
maybe if I didnt always have to give the gift could stay at rest.

here your only memory lies
from your funny stories
to your lovely lullabies.
from the times that we laughed
and the times we cried.
we went through all of this just to say goodbye.
but in my heart you will always be
till the day I die and see you in front of me

i drank the nectar from a wild flower
and sang with the birds as they chirped
i danced with the wind
and ate the flesh of sweet berries
*all while i watched the sun rise

I'm the majestic unicorn you only see in fairytales and dreams of candy lands and rivers flowing with milk and honey.
I'm the rose that blossoms in the dead of winter, while engulfed in snow.
The double rainbow that appears after an intense storm of emotions and weird feelings.
I am *unbelievable

why is the silence always the loudest
and why do people kept in  dim light shine the brightest

color inside the lines of the soul that has been forgotten
while i print another copy that is quite similar but just cant be the same
shade the lighter and heavier parts of thy mind that are weighed down with burdens and deadly sorrow
take me where the butterflies sing and the trees grieve when their roots are enslaved to bare the fruits of nature, that the petty, ungrateful humans consume
and tell me to fetch the nutrients from the river of milk and honey

As I opened my eyes and looked to the sky to see a sign of God
a rain drop kissed the crease of my forehead
songs sat upon clouds and drifted off like leaves in Autumn
My spirit began to break away piece by piece like chipped statues
I felt renewed......like I grew wings and light shined around my head
God gave me flight with no safety net
he said "if you believe as much as you preach......you need no plan B"
From there I flew...

the razors were her best friends
the only source of control of the pain she endured.
her hair was falling out
her skin , pale as the snowy grounds of December.
no one ever cared
until they day she wore short sleeves and everyone got scared

im just a waste of space
with regrets
and no place to stay
my heart shall beat until the end
but i want to be remembered as a friend
keep me in the depths of your heart
never let the memories fall apart
ill see you at the end of time
till then in my heart you're still mine

The little voice whispers in my ear
"Just cry in the shower, so no one can hear"

When all the petals are wilted and the skies turn from blue to gray
the birds will stop their melodies and begin to hide away
The apples will fall from the trees and rot in the sun
This is when I will know when the day has come
.......to tell you im am ready.............for love...................

my skin crawled with agony when the word commitment ran across his smooth lips
   the hair on my neck began to stand and salute the air, which had gone stale and silent
my hands frozen with the frost of mid-December, but sweat of the heat of July
   my heart, later to sound like African tribal drums in an important boy-to-man ceremony
why is this word death to the future
and why do i run to and away from it

the morning coffee brews in a *** with scrapes and scratches
I can smell the cocoa beans and the caramel marrying each other and becoming one.
blue jays sing their harp-like songs, while the willow trees sway in a sweet smelling breeze.
the sky is opening up to me and telling me its secrets and stories.
THEN I WAKE UP
now its opposite and dreary
its raining outside
the thunder and lightning marry each other and become one loud abusive relationship.
the birds are hiding from the commotion of nature that consumes them completely.
the beat of my heart begins to slow down...
and this is my good morning

red stands for the blood shed when you beat me with your bare hands.
orange is the color of my hands when I try to get the blood out of the carpet.
yellow is the color of my eyes after endless hours of no sleep because I was afraid that you'd just **** me.
green is the envy in your eyes if I dare to even look at another man.
blue is the color that I was when your choked me until I had collapsed.
and purple , are the bruises on my body
pink is now the color of that old white shirt my grandmother bought for me
but white is the color of my new life

get straight a's they say
be **** and you wont have to pay.
straighten your hair and let it flow
wear things that cover your wrist and no one will know.
do your best to always hide
what screams on the inside

our memories fuel my weakened soul...........with a concoction of sweet bliss and sorrow
I've sipped aged red wine from your collar bones
and was blessed by the touch of your skin.
when the rain poured it still didn't smear the imprint of your lips on my  cheek.
I still remember the sweet sugar glaze over your eyes when you looked at old pictures of your grandmother.
The family trips
The thanksgiving dinners and the sweet echos of laughter.
The old flower petals you kept from her funeral and the note you found that she left for you when she knew the end was near.
You used to look at me with that same sugar glaze sort of trance.
But things seem to be different.
The picture frames are broken
The trips have been called off
and the flower petals have dried and crumbled.
But there's still a hint of that sugar glaze love in your eyes......