it scares me;
i am constantly terrified of how fast it comes and goes,
how slow it comes and goes,
how much power it holds.

i can think
of no better way to describe it but to call it sand
i try to focus on each grain, each second, and
it just slips right from my hand.

it makes me
want to do everything available to me,
want to do nothing but crumple and weep,
want to stop and go unseen.

i am scared.
i am so scared of what it will bring,
so scared, because time is the one thing
that i can never keep.

I can hear him knocking at the door
I feel the rhythm of the beating in my chest and head.

It overwhelms me, bleeding down into my core,
my heartstrings hanging by a single thread.

I cannot handle your lingering presence anymore.

I am exhausted from a constant state of dread;
an endless game of tug of war
contemplating all of the things I’ve left unsaid.

Compiling a collection of unfinished memoirs
abandoned and stranded in my mind instead.

He is here, choosing which wounds to reopen into deeper sores
I lay awaiting the temporary passage of this bloodshed.

in your honey golden eyes
the sweetness I must see
matches the beauty of a sunrise
over a vast and endless sea

you are as ever changing
as the moon's many phases
yet while we continue aging
I catch those same loving gazes

youthfulness at its finest
we grow a garden of hearts;
from low points to the highest
till death do us part