I used to think they were harmless,
I was so naïve.
The variety in my house;
a never ending rainbow.
white ovals
multicolored capsules
muddy orange circles.
A plethora of every imaginable combination,
right at my fingertips.

Ive followed in my mother's footsteps
no matter how hard I tried to avoid it.
No longer innocent
I am tainted in sin

Shape doesn't worry me
size and color don't either
some went with headaches
some for concentration
some for depression
they couldn't ever make the suffering go away
it lingers within me
no matter how hard I try
to
rid
of
the
pain


I cry out

Why?
Oh god,
why?
Do you really
hate
me?
What is this
Hell
I live in?

I popped another;
I just couldn't resist the
bittersweet taste
the coating leaves in my mouth.
Swallowed it whole
no water
because
I am a pro.
Maybe a few.
3 more
then 5
only 1 more
well 2 couldn't hurt

Lost my count by now.


This time i'm not in pain
I just want the fog to cover me
and to once again not
feel
or
show

anything

Nothing

at all

For I go numb once again
as I swallow
another
pill