I am
NOT
Who YOU
Say I am
I am
ME
UnEquivocally
Now Tell ME
What YOU see
In YOU
NOT me

Do it right or don't do it at all
Lately, I don't do it at all
I just sit and think
How easy it would be to just do it
But still I sit
I sit still
Daydreaming about better days
Praying I find my way
I will find it like the time before
But for now
This is my life to adore
To find beauty in this struggle
To you its sad
To me it is necessary
It is me I have to caress
Take a deep breath
Find a way to love myself through it all
Because next time when I fall
I need to be the one who catch me

Bright lights, dark spots
Fitted dresses, eye candy, and power lunches
Abs tight, ***** right, and half-time crunches
I am woman, head high filled with education
Light switch with no model limitations
Thick thighs, slap right but many do not understand the wave of me sea
Or the timing of my laughter filled with jokes of pain behind me
I am woman, filled with education
From past ways
Before me is me
After me is gone, Storm
Will he be the whirlwind that lifts me past life?
Or will I throw my words like jaded knives?
Either way the marriage is to thyself
The one to be true
One Take can turn black to blue
One dove or two
Finalist or finality
One finger or two

This day 6 years ago I was not created, I was made
My mind was loose in the wild
Free to descend into the unknown, Hades
I felt the detriment of my being which kept me enslaved
I crawled and clawed out the concave
6 years ago this day I was not born but I was made

Your better place
Is the worse place you could possibly be
For me
Everything reminds me of you
Your style, your smile, your face
Your arms were my home
You left me alone
It wasn't perfect, but it was perfect
Now I'm left to dissect
Every moment I can't remember
Late nights, last nights, deep trembles
I am so mad at you
This was nothing you couldn't get through
Now we are through forever
No more chances to make your responses clever
Like only you could do
Forever will feel like forever without you
I knew you best you knew me better
Down to the last letter
I will pick up the pieces
Like you know I do
From now on it's for you

The water that only flows up
It doesn't think about where it's going
Or where it's been
It just flows
With it, it carries life
And the memories that others have created using it
It never feels bad about being used
It encourages it
Use me Dear Life
Take from me whatever you like
For I only go up
Your presence will never make me go down

It is said that vices attract the weak
The mere thought of a crutch breaks a leg
It is the same with love
The thought of my wings spanning thin
I grin
I want more
Vices

He said I tasted sweet but all I felt was bitter
For the ways I was betrayed and meant to wither
Away like his insides
Now out
Get out
I GET out
Of his and in her ways
Riding dragons, wearing crowns
Down below I see the trays
Of minuscule beings who feel like fiery ants but instead they are in the drowns
Feel my water, feel my wrath
Its sugary sweet cuz I took the hardest path
You doubted the warrior, you laughed at my fight
No one wants to penetrate this Wild Women's sight
It is centuries deep in bellowing boroughs
Failed perceptions of powerful slighted heroes
I am the truth
Hear thee echos
I am the way
Fear the stare
I am the light
Sit and sear
******* sugar, pinch its scrub
Use as your medicine like the cherub
At you own risk, hang on tight
This Goddess has won all her fights
And like She, victory tastes sweet
Now, smell the defeat

One day I had it
Caressing of my hair, kind words and deep hugs.
Feelings of warmth and remorse.
That thing called love.

I run
It catches up
Grabs me by my hair
Tells me I am theirs
The never ending fears
Peace, please be there
The one I cannot seem to grasp
Bad habits and obscene contrasts
Still I follow
Faith
It leaves me hollowed
From dates past
No change
Heart rearranged and cast
Still
Hope is all I have

Drag me by the bales
Like piled on the floor
Lead me to the depths of blue's envy
Relinquish those nightmares by bingeing good dreams
Free me with freedom that is not prepared
With the fingers caress the trails of my face
With the thumbs wipe my fear
This is about triumph
No victory
Just a trapped me
Wrapped- in white cloth
Emancipated Oak tree

Bury me under the dirt of my last sin
Torturous memories that forced their grin
Bodied images that I no longer control
Lingering responsibilities to uphold
Pour me over the sizzling heat
Show me the punishment that is meant for me
Then take all the residual flames
I am not the one to blame

Love until your last breath
Hope when it gets tough
Faith at all cost
Without these
All is lost

If I knew the perfect things to say
I would say them everyday
If I knew the perfect thing to do
I would say ***** it and still feel this way.

No one understood her struggle
No one felt her pain
Her screams she used as bullets
That made her look insane
All she wanted was love
All she needed was light
Instead her fingers balled
Here comes the next fight

I've been told to move on
But not how to let go
I guess I will call it a stretch

I had no reason to question my position
Lead to relive every decision
Laying next to my present
I was still being pulled to our past
Love was free but presence costs time
Thoughts of you lingering in the back of my mind
I found you as I found me
I never knew what I was missing was us
A broken connection dependent on trust

Til the wind blows with ****** she-wrote
Grasps your belly in front of my face
Let your spirits rise among me
Roar with thunder
This is me
My body is mine but the spirits comes with receipts
Now bow to me

Days trapped in dreams
Winters trapped in drought
Let the fog be the guise that distinguishes the light
I need you now, light as a feather
Now and forever
For the sun is just weather

Her body, not mine
Which is fine
This one will do
Each curve hides its own truth
Which guides you to being the best you

Spin, spun, spindle
Somehow I kept that twinkle
The one the stars have given me
Then I lift me head to feel the gravity pulls, upward, onward
To the pleasant forward
The one I had to give myself
I open my eyes and see your open hand saying, "Take some sparkle."
The one who I give my all to
Let us take what the world has to offer

I am waiting
Here I am
Me
Toya

It started as a leaf then grew up from there
The root disappeared  
Rather left behind
Thoughts of you planted in my mind
Hello, my dear

Be it the bearer of good news
Or the breaker of backs
The trenches were made by you
But dug by me
Be careful what you wish upon the servant
Cuz the servant could be the serpent
And bite you back

Dear Future Teller
Stop telling on me
Let the birds yell
Allow the hens to roost, play, and be eaten
Watch as the sun rises and sets
No set backs
Come ups
Back down for the count
Quack

I Love you
For all that I know you to be
Now love me

To those who conquered before me
Be it from a jail cell or mountain top
Spalding, spiraling, or sprawling winds
Raised children by two hands
Graced by grave diggers
Or handled with care
I thank you

Poor girl
You are as straight as an angle
With a circumference that is wide and loose
Obtuse.