you said you loved reading poetry
how every words heal your soul
how every lines ease your existence
right there and then, i fell in love with you
we started diving through pages
and singing through words
we became one with poetry
this love feels so pure and true
but in the end you broke my heart
now the poetry is you

it's sad to think that
a person that once were your sunshine
now only brought you rain
the person that you know as happiness
now only brought you pain
he opened your door and left
now you were never the same

he wasn't a storm, no.
nor is he a tsunami,
which every wave will left you breathless.
every wave hits you hard,
until you don't stand a chance.
he wasn't even the adrenaline pumping in your veins.
he won't get you hyped up,
and make your heart burst, no.
he was a quiet stream,
slowly, steady, surely.
with his meekness, you'll feel safe.
with his serene laugh,
your heart'll flutter.
he wasn't the loud music, no.
he was the steady beat,
where you'll fall in love with his tranquility.
he was the placid night,
that keeps your heart beating,
slowly, steady, surely.

she have to die a thousand deaths,
for people to laugh a thousand smile.
she have to bleed a liter of blood,
for her name to be remembered.
so never underestimate poets and their poetry,
for they have to underwent direst of circumstances,
to be solely accepted.

it eased my mind to know that
somewhere between parallel worlds
somewhere in another life
somewhere in different universe
somewhere
i am able to be with you
i am able to feel your warmth in my fingertips
i am able to collide my lips with yours
maybe not in this life
maybe not in this reality i live in right now
but still, it eased my mind to know that somewhere
i'm not alone, and we're not on our own

"You will find so much better", they say. That the fates have not allowed you to be with that soul, your paths have just crossed but not be wholly intertwine. He had come to your life and left, there must be a sole reason even if you do not know it yet. You are destined for someone greater, someone whose veins sing for your being and for your blood only. All celestial beings he came to knew before would soon be forgotten for you and only you would be his sun and moon. The thought is mesmerizing, unearthly even. To good to be true, but that is what the elders and the wise have promised you. And yet, amidst the promise of destiny and the thought that he was not made for you— you long for him still.

"Why won't you love me back?'' he asked, as he set his coffee down. "I've done everything all others guys do, and yet you still don't reciprocate my feelings." She smiled, her feline pupils dilated at him.
"Honey, if you did things differently then my feelings would have turned. I don't want t be showered with compliments and drown in a sea of roses. No, for what I want is blood rushing through my brain and heart beating faster because of excitement, not because of flattery."
That moment right there, he realized that she wasn't like any other girls. There's a fire blazing in her heart and fireworks exploding in her eyes, that is why he loved her. How stupid of him to treat her like any other.

what is woefully sad
it's not that you left me
or the fact that
i just let it be

what is woefully sad
is i still deeply love thee
and the fact that
she's the one who broke your heart and not me

not everything you think
belongs to you
is truly yours,
sometimes
your the only one
who thinks that way

seven billion people in this world,
and your one of the lucky soul
to shed me pain and tears
to make me feel whole.
since destiny has brought this upon me
and petty me has nothing can do,
so there's only one thing that I wish,
only one thing I ask for you.
please make every moment worth it,
every smile and pain that we've been through.
every ecstasy and anguish so  pleasing,
that i'll thought maybe I deserve this punishment too.

You are like the rain.
As much as I would like to grasp
little rain drops in my palms
and tuck it in my pocket,
keep it with me.
But no, as much as my heart
wants it, yearns for it,
not all things in the world
flows to your heart's delight.
So I'll try to enjoy the rain's presence,
while it's still pitter pattering on my windowsill,
unsure of when will it go away.
I'll let it soak through my skin,
savouring the feeling, every last moment.
Cause your'e like the rain.
I'll never know when you will come again.

You opened me a door
I once thought I never knew
You showed me heaven
And so high I flew with you

But heaven became painful
And slowly I came to knew
That this is not what it seems
But I fear not for I'm with you

Hell masked as heaven
I wished earlier I already knew
The flame opened my eyes
And realized that the devil was you

you poor, poor selfish girl
the earth does not revolve for you
nor does the galaxy twinkle for your heart's delight
the winter does not glisten for your smile
nor does the cloud took color for your glee

you poor, poor selfish girl
your no special just like any other being
you're just a girl like any other thousand girls
your hurt? so what?
you crest fallen like any other thousand girls
so don't think your any betterf

You plucked my heartstrings so gently,
        yet it vibrates to the depths of my soul.
You make my heart sing and my feet dance,
        still being careful not to fall.

They say that an endings
is just a new beginning.
But what makes me crestfallen
is not because you bid me goodbye,
or the tendency that the winds of change
will blow our sails differently.
No, it's the dread feeling
that I'll start a new beginning without you,
after everything we've been through.

she doesn't wonder how many stars there are
or how the galaxy swirls,
or how her feet is steady to the ground.
how the earth is circling slowly,
gently, how she couldn't feel it.
and how the universe orbiting the way it is.
but instead she wonders,
how she could see the stars in his eyes.
how could she feels her heart swirling endlessly
like the galaxy when he smiles.
how her feet were not steady
when she stares and he caught her staring, and their eyes locked.
and she tried not to think about how gentle his fingers were,
while he's strumming those strings of her heart.
or how big her fear is, that he'll end up being her universe
and she'll find herself orbiting endlessly around him.

I do not quite have any words for it and it is indeed impossible to describe further, but something close to it should be—
melancholy.
Without utter doubt, melancholy.
I should stop pretending that the matter does not bother me anymore, it does. With full conviction by the heavy thud in my chest, it does. What is more saddening to this manner is that I have come to accept this resignation that there is nothing I could do about it. I've been living my life that way, by confiding into solemn retreat and actually convincing myself that there is nothing to be done. Even when in reality, there actually is.

here's to you love
for all stolen gaze
of your face
an endless maze

here's to you love
for all exasperated sighs
with longing eyes
of endless nights

here's to you love
for all our broken promises
of broken dreams
along the seams

here's to you love
here's to you
cause we cannot be
cause we never can be

i want an escape
where my hands sparkles with magic
adrenaline coursing through my veins
there is excitement and fun
and all i care about is saving other people
where i dont want a prince
but he still willingly comes to me

i want an escape to this ****** up life im living
where my hands are scarred
tears seeping through my cheeks
there's delussions and torture
and i can't even save myself
where i want a friend
but they all willingly walked out with my life

you *******,
you don't deserve her,
neither do her words
x

carry on.
despite how your heart is a shipwreck that sank every time.
still, carry on.

when Zeus parted
human beings into two,
i could have sworn
i found my other half
in you

x

she's alone with her thoughts
with four dead walls
so hard she fought
with vivid memories

full of regrets
of things she didn't say
so bad she wanted to forget
the things she spoke

they say remove things that are toxic in your life
give yourself a favor, take pity on yourself
but what if the thing that suffocates me
and the thing that poison my being
is the venom that my system needs
for my essence to breathe

held your head high darling
for you are a queen
despite walking barefoot
without a crown

x

the greatest story ever told
are those stories your afraid to tell

JULES: (sighs) I mean… I don’t know. I guess it’s– I guess it’s interesting, ’cause, like, before I ran away, uh, I had gone to the city to visit some old friends, and… we were having this exact conversation. And… Basically, um… I feel like I’ve framed my entire womanhood around men. When, like, in reality, I’m no longer interested in men. Like, philosophically. Like, like, what men want. Like, what men want is so boring. And simple, and not creative, and, like, uh… I just, like, I look at myself, and I’m like, how the f*ck did I spend my entire life building this. Like… (sighs) Like, my body, and my personality, and, like, my soul around what I think men desire? It’s just, like… it’s embarrassing. I feel like a… a fraud.
__________________

­ShyGuy118: i really missed you today

ShyGuy118: are u really going to nyc for college?

Jules: i hope so

Jules: why… you gonna come with me??

ShyGuy118: would you like that?

Jules: it would be a dream



JULES: Some of the most profound relationships I’ve ever had have been with people I’ve never met.

I should have known I was setting myself up. Or maybe I did know. Maybe that’s, like, what I’m actually attracted to. Maybe that’s, like, the appeal.

The letdown. The fact that, like, none of it’s real. And it’s all a fantasy.

remember me not by name
but in memory

x

on that night where the sinew
that holds us has tethered,
i swore that you’ll always have a part of me.
no matter what foreign soil you wander,
no matter whom stranger’s mouth you tasted,
no matter whose warmth your fingertips touched—
you’ll always carry a fragment of my soul.

the water seemed inviting
so I plunged right through
never thought the thing that soothed me
will be my downfall too

for me,
you will always be the calm shore
amidst the raging waves
in a thunderstorm sea.

x