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English Jam Aug 2019
The pigeon, what a dull and beautiful bird
Living on the edge of the knife, unknowingly
Staring death in the face, daily
Threatened by man, beast and rapture
Does it know love, laughter or life?
Does it know fear, pain or strife?
Beautiful in its dullness
An object of fascination and detachment
Beauty is in the eye of the mundane

You smile idealistically
We talk like liberals and laugh like friends
Under lazy heat and ripe conversation
If only you could see the grey I could see
But then again, if I am the only one who can see it
I must be special

Dust and mud turn to fine red wine in your glass
Smooth surfaces and large mirrors to admire each other
Sunshine, nostalgia
And all pretty makeup
Words ebbing off your dry deadbeat tongue, so insatiable
A scene picturesque, idyllic
Boring

Enough of that jazz
Hey-oh, screeching viola's and Sanskrit texts
Urge me to prophecy
Our journey begins in a Kenyan airport
African night flight
Plane spiralling into a chasm
Until it crash lands in a dusty maroon desert
A barren wasteland
The locals grin a foolish grin
They want to eat me for dinner
(That's offensive, isn't it?)
(Well, if you think that's offensive, try this)
I'm a stormtrooper, I'm a ****
I can show you all the hate in the world
I have experienced hardships beyond belief
From my perfectly comfortable suburban dream
I have the window seat on every plane
And I use it to pretend to be lost in thought

Blitzkrieg hail pours in snarling squadrons
Down from the sky
Hand in pants, I play the fantasy in my head
The trick to this is that nothing is real
And nothing is personal
For if I could truly comprehend horror
Oh boy
I'm so glad ****'s aren't real
English Jam Jan 21
I didn't know
I made for lackluster company
And I never realised
You might get on without me so easily
And I didn't know my problems
Were too much for you to take
But know I only have the walls
And I need to find some escape


I didn't mean
To treat you so unkind
Ain't it just like me
To not realise I'm so blind
I'd never want you
To feel alone in my presence
And if this is how friendship works
I supposed I've learned my lesson

Sooner or later one of us must know
That I really did try to get close to you
Sooner or later one of us must know
You're the one I really tried my hardest to get close to

I wish I'd known you felt
You spent a year on your own
Had I known that, I might not
Have to spend my whole life unknown
And if that seems dramatic
Cause surely I'll find someone again
Then I think you overestimate
My ability to make friends

Sooner or later one of us must know
That I really did try to get close to you
Sooner or later one of us must know
You're the one I really tried my hardest to get close to

But I was only trying
To do what you said
I didn't know our connection
Was only in my head
Somebody said you're happier
And I'm glad for you
But I wish you could tell me
Now what the **** do I do

Sooner or later one of us must know
That I really did try to get close to you
Sooner or later one of us must know
You're the one I really tried my hardest to get close to

And I don't blame you
So don't pity me and change your mind
I just want you to know
I never wanted to be unkind
And I just wish I knew
The last time I saw your home
Was the last time I'd ever see it
And the last time I wouldn't feel alone

Sooner or later one of us must know
That I really did try to get close to you
Sooner or later one of us must know
You're the one I really tried my hardest to get close to

I can't help but feel
Deep down you kinda lead me on
But I know that you
Didn't really do anything wrong
And of course I respect
Your feelings and decisions
But it still feels like my heart
Was ripped out with great precision

Sooner or later one of us must know
That I really did try to get close to you
Sooner or later one of us must know
You're the one I really tried my hardest to get close to

And now I can't identify
Any feelings anymore
Cause I've never engaged
In any friendship before
So when you said you
Still wanted to be my acquaintance
If that was some kind of joke
I wouldn't know how to take it
im pretty sure i just lost one of my closest friends today. ironic thing is, i only have one other friend, who is in a different country. ironic ironic thing is, i've never had a friend that close before. ha-ha. clearly i don't understand how this friendship thing works
English Jam Dec 2019
A haiku haiku haiku
haiku haiku - hi
ha-ha it's a haiku hai-
haiku
English Jam Jul 2019
Writer's block in the Old West
Sexually repressed
Tumbleweed blew dust
Nomadic, full of lust
It's only getting worse

All the cowgirls seem to like me
More than I love myself
I think I need help
All the cowboys seem to love me
More than I care to admit
Wrickety-split

Silver horses, bloodstains
No direction, no aim
I'm walking in circles, not steady
Haven't I written about you already?
I'll be back by the next verse

All the chiefs seem to love me
As I colonise the frontier
This town is so queer
All the native girls seem to like me
In their teepees
Though I disagree

Sheriff, colonise me
I'm better off dying
Hide before I forget
Ride into the sunset
Carry me in a hearse
There's a snake in my boot.

Or is there a boot in my snake?
English Jam Feb 2019
Quickly and quietly, running in the snow
Recalling memories of so long ago
The smell of wood and burning embers
That cherished old cabin, I remember
Am I Dreaming?

And when it freezes at night, and the outside seems like ice
The cosy firelight, curling up to your delight
There’s no difference between the dusk and the dawn
But it reminds us the fireplace is still warm
What am I Feeling?

Dreaming- could this be real?
Dreaming- what memories could heal
Dreaming- what do I feel?
Am I Dreaming?
Am I Dreaming?
Dreaming

Think of the haze of the early mornings
The breaking rays of sun as a new day’s dawning
There’s a blurry sensation to the bitter cold
Made to reflect on when you’re drowsy and old
Time is Fleeting

The grey hope of the skies of late afternoons
Life is far away, but coming so soon
There’s a mind numbing, tear-bringing space
That I enter when I think of that place
Is this Believing?

Just for a flash, to see things from my spot
Just to catch a glimpse, a portrait or snapshot
Just fly out the window and burst at the seams
Those fleeting moments
Those forgotten seconds
Those dreams

Are we Dreaming?



Dreaming
Today's my one year Hello Poetry anniversariy, so here's the first (proper) poem I ever wrote, and the one that lead to me discover Hello Poetry.
English Jam Oct 2018
Silver skies, tranquil nights
Gently gazing down from afar
Silver rooftops, twinkling lights
Buried deep among the stars
Silver memories paint silver portraits
Hung from my interior walls
Silver melodies, not unfortunate
I hear, my name, it calls
Silver teardrops stain my cheeks
Making melancholy of innocence
Silver snowstorms, heartache's peak
An evocative and celibate synthesis
Silver dreams, silver eyes
Meet silver nights, tranquil skies
English Jam Feb 2019
The grey noir ambience posing on the wall
Shiny black whips that won't hurt at all
Listen to the rustle of the chains on her hips
Leather velvet skin and satin lips
Fall to your knees

Femme fatale
High-heeled boots on the bed
Femme fatale
Frame the words she said
Femme fatale
As she strikes the blow
Still you can't go
Your femme in leather is waiting

The foreboding cold that breaks you into a sweat
That rushing cacophony you won't forget
You feel her eyes pierce your skin
As you realise who'll win
You softly whisper please

Femme fatale
Watch her mouth turn red
Femme fatale
Hands lightly tread
Femme fatale
To her a debt you owe
So put on for her a show
Your femme in leather is waiting

And despite all this you know
That you still love her so
Your femme in leather is waiting

How good it is to please
Well, this isn't very subtle is it?
English Jam Sep 2019
Four little pigs
Sleeping in a lemon tree
Just hanging around
Waiting for destiny
When I came home
They were scattered all about
Three were in the house
The fourth somewhere out

Gentle piggies, on the farm
Their bodies, so warm
Hanging by, feeling swell
Is it me? I can't tell

They were in the Sunday best
Looking so neat
But then again
They were just slabs of meat
I gave them all my love
They told me it was hate
Ungrateful little piggies
Perhaps they were victims of fate

Where'd they go, which way?
Did the bad wolf blow them away?
Mr Wolf, did they scream?
Did they taste like a dream?
The four little pigs are four children from Durban who were found murdered by their father on 3 September 2019. Three of them (aged four, six and ten) were found hanging in their homes, while the fourth (aged seventeen) was found hanging in a bush.

The full story can be found here: https://citizen.co.za/news/south-africa/crime/2174705/durban-father-arrested-for-hanging-of-four-children/amp/
English Jam Nov 2018
I am a wine glass in your palm
I know you'll let me shatter
Breaking into a million glass fractures
Doesn't seem to matter

"Oh darling," I hear you call out
From the inexplicable black void
Over which I delicately balance
Despite my attempts to avoid

In my heart I know the choice I've made
And I know that choice is you
All the realisation in the world
Wouldn't make me say we're through

White sheets, blissfully innocent
Stained with your sickly pale glow
I've got to have you, I know I shouldn't
What happens next, you already know
Tried to make go to rehab said
English Jam Jun 2019
Summer's here in all it's depression
Bound to make an impression
Pretty little leaves fall and weave into a pattern, so naive
Marigolds of black and yellow
Stopping to say hello
Old flames anew, the myriad of youth debuts, shimmering hue
Here they come to make it right
In this garden of delights
Colourful and young among a palette of sweet songs to be sung

Flowers assemble into a crown
Laughter rings all around
Eyes trace the rise of the wind, graceful and calm, as she flies
The innocence that went away
Has come back to play
Upon sunbeams, it seems they have flown right out of our dreams
Nature calls, ornate splendor
To it we surrender
Sunny craze lost in a haze, spurred out of celibacy, mellow laze

Nature has something to say
Sun has a brand new day
Laid back with ease, all that it sees it gives new life, honey bees
The bees are dying! They perform 80% of all pollination and they're endangered :(( Save the bees!

If you wanna know more about saving bees, go here:
https://thehoneybeeconservancy.org/how-to-save-the-bees/

Or alternatively, we could just **** capitalism and then live in the wild! With the bees!
English Jam Feb 2019
Time is locked between our eyes
the wind whispers
your smile
shimmers in shades of orange
we don't need anybody
beside us
honey bees
buzz gently
dreaming away
the sun sets
it's five o clock
bells chiming
ears ringing
too lazy to care,
you lie back
i love us
you whisper softly
time is locked between our eyes
I don't think this is a very original poem, but I was trying a new idea in which the flow of the lines is ambiguous.
English Jam Apr 2019


Luke 12:49
“I came to bring fire to the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled!”


This wasteland, desolate vegetable garden
No crops will grow, no sun will shine
No cool breeze to clean the air
of the smell of decomposition
Just dead things, the decay of man and dreams of hope
Which my black boots stomp on
I walk the ruin in silence

I walk past a monster sleeping by a tree
Turning, frowning
The monster is me
Its eyes are as red as judgement day
As red as the faces of the condemed
Those who stare at the 144 000, wondering if they are worthy
As red as the blood ******* in this ancient garden

This is a battleground
Oozing with pain, pleasure, splendor and misery
Even if Pythia already circled the loser's name in bright red
Allowing the victors to trample holy ground underfoot
Before they disappeared
But me
I stood here
Feeling all feeling being drained out

I walked past a monster weeping by a tree

“Everything good must come to an end,”
Mystery says
Pursing her lips
“And so must everything wicked
But the memories
Those which encircle their victim
And slowly tighten like great snakes
Suffocating their prey
Those last forever
And if those memories last forever
Then how can one remain pure in heaven
Without thinking about sin
Temptation must surely creep in
Poisoning the mind until it is consumed with the idea
Who is pure anyway?”
I know she is lying
(Turning)
But her words are surreal, slurred, seductive
(Frowning)
I look inside my heart to reassure myself
(Turning)
There is hope
(Frowning)
But there’s nothing there

(And the monster is me)


In the vegetable garden
A ruin
A wasteland
I stand
Not really existing


⊣⊙⊢

English Jam Apr 2020
my hands tremble.
i am still an embryo.
i have the mouth of an old man.

a red eye sinks into the horizon, staring.
unflinching, i stare back.

my feet feel rubber as i walk
the soles may fall off
a face is disassembled in a very scientific manner

a hand, independent of its body, clutches a spear.
it is about to **** a fish.
the killing is not the point; the ability to **** is the point.
it is power and masculinity, picasso reminds us.
i wouldn't know. i haven't been born yet.

i crawl across the room
numbly,
i feel my way into the dark.

a crack in the sky appears, and a nightmare reaches down
it takes shape as a grinning soul.

it has no body.
maybe it's my body.
i am but the sum of my parts.
English Jam Mar 2019
I claw out of the grave like the phoenix
And for my 15 minute lifetime
I burn like the sun, the gas lamp, California, the Holocaust
Before fizzling out again
I live to die  

I awaken on the production line
I breathe in the ash pouring from the apocalyptic clouds
Disappointed, I turn to my grey sarcophagus
The faceless, factory-made, invisible-as-Kether generation
Buried in the grocery store pyramid

Like Goya's dog, I peer blindly, so tiny
Upwards, into the infinite nothing that awaits
The afterlife, the void, Abraham's *****
Death, limbo, desolation row
The nihilistic emptiness from which I rise
English Jam Jun 2019
I rise dandy and gay, darling
Carelessly waving away the past
Shining against the cruel light
I am washed and anew

I am a surging black tide
Strutting between smoky darkness
Wearing a harlequin dress
Bathing in the light of the dew

I am femme, and I am fatale
Follow me down the winding corridor
Twisting, snarling, enticing, enthralling
Into the land where flames brew
English Jam Feb 2018
The eyes of a supernova seeping into mine
So harsh, so hot, but so soft, so loving
Passionate but patient
So much in so few
It’s so warm

Cheeky grins and burning desire taunt me
So painful, so explosive but so comforting, so alluring
Painstaking but playful
Ablaze though we’re scared
It’s extraordinary

There’s no words to match this melodic image
So sweaty, so intense but so quiet, so calm
Dreamy but real
Like a fantasy
It’s blissful

The sensation of fire melting to stardust
Embrace it, taste it, love it, feel it
Crafted and delicate
Two stars colliding
His pulsating heartbeat needs me
My longing kiss needs him

He’s my lover boy
And I’m his
It’s so warm
English Jam Jun 2020
I thought you were an angel
You touched me like a pair of leaves
But you weren't no stranger
Lost in the big city

I'm an obvious razor
You looked like you wanted to kiss
I bicycle to silly love songs
Please don't be afraid of this
I want to hold your hand
Cause the sound of my impending doom
And the sound of your heartbeat
Makes for one hell of a tune

Ain't it funny how the clock on your wall
Counts down the hours to my life
I always feel so out of place
...

If melting clocks don't change your mind
Then I don't know but I ain't got time to find out
I gotta move, I gotta dance
Cause the beat goes on and on
If melting clocks don't change your mind
Then I don't know but I ain't got time to stay still
I gotta move, I gotta dance
Cause the beat goes on and on

Do you think God was careless when He
Cut my figure out of stone
Do you think that He meant to give me
Two arms and legs to flail alone
Ants roll me down the hill
They call me the tumbling dice
If I've thought about dying young once
Then I've thought about being alive twice

Once when I wanted to be you
Twice when you wanted to kiss me
A third time when I felt out of place
...

If melting clocks don't change your mind
Then I don't know but I ain't got time to stay still
I gotta move, I gotta dance
Cause the beat goes on and on
If melting clocks don't change your mind
Then I don't know but I ain't got time to find out
I gotta move, I gotta dance
Cause the beat goes on and on

The beat goes on
The beat goes on
The beat goes
Darling, you're the one I want to dance
English Jam Jul 2018
My little friend is now gone
My tragic life must go on; despite that
His evil eyes and his cheeky smile still burn in my mind
He no longer exists except
For my memory of him
And I rejoiced
When I heard the news
Still I can recall how I sobbed
When he gave me his evil eye for the first time
When he hurled glass and other projectiles at me when he was hungry
When he spent hours upon hours pondering the fabric of society
I hated him
I wished
For his death
I was depressed
It was like paint peeling off a wall
It was like finding a dead leprechaun at the end of a rainbow
I was expecting some sort of remorse when he left
Funny how heartbreak works

Now read this in reverse
Because sometimes all you need
Is a little change of perspective
To truly understand someone
Dedicated to the goldfish I had when I was little who accidentally died. This is for you sweet fish <3.
English Jam Sep 2018
The beach smells of tranquillity and salty sea air
The rhythm of the waves gently caresses my skin
The horizon seems elusive, a dream always chased
Yet night foreshadows traumas waiting to be let in

Oh where do I begin?

I love you
I don't wanna be scared of you
I'm waiting in the shoreline
Please don't run away this time


I'm scared of silent reflections, solemn and reclusive
I float futher from myself with each passing day
I have a note addressed to myself taped to a mirror
I'm scared of reading it aloud and being lead astray

And I have to accept that it's okay

"I love you
I don't wanna be scared of you
I'm waiting in the shoreline
Please don't run away this time"


Seashells coated in sand tickle the edge of my ear
The fog carried on the wind sends chills deep inside
The sun will always be there to break the duskiness
Daunting across the sky and waking up the tide

And the breeze slowly sighed

Please don't run away,
       don't run away from me
Please don't run away,
         don't run away from help
Please don't run away,
             don't run away from the sea
Please don't run away,
                don't run away from yourself


Angel wings take me further than I've ever gone before
English Jam Apr 2018
This desolate road seems forever long
And my worn feet will carry me through the ruin
All alone, but if you had heard my song
You might just understand why I’m doing
Maybe I’m the strongest person of us all
Maybe you’re used to me being alone
But that doesn’t mean that when I take a fall
I can survive, live on my own

Noticing someone else’s suffering is hard
Wrapped up in your troubles, with an aching heart
But if you open your eyes, you’ll see a man apart
If you can call me a man, I guess

Walking round with an unchanged expression
Ducking and keeping away from the deed
You might think it’s all to get attention
And you’re right, but that’s what I need
I knew a group of people whom my heart held dear
I loved them, and I love them still
But they weren’t there for me in my time of fear
Now I’m not gonna bend my will

How many days of quiet can I keep?
How hard will the blade into my mind seep?
How long can I hide away and weep?
Before you realise I’m not at best

So it’s time to say fare thee well
Don’t know where I’m strolling in my daze to
Just gonna follow my path down the well
See if it’s someplace new
So I’ve thought it through and through again
No pleading will make me change my head
Maybe, before, if I had a friend
But now, it’s too late to hear what I’ve said

The love I have for you will always burn
But my back’s to you, and I’ll always turn
If you haven’t figured it out, you’ll never learn
I want a hug, but I’m drowning in my sleepiness
English Jam Oct 2018
An orange sun shimmering with heat
Blankets its cloud all over our heads
Your eyes fill with wonder and stars
Gazing at the trees unevenly spread
We talk of fantasies and breathless sighs
And romance we have never known
While all the butterflies vibrate with ecstasy
And the sky, into our heads, is sewn

Little crystals melt on our tongues
Honey dripped bees infect our sights
Faintly, on the other side of the desert
Our threat awaits, patient as night
Orange sun begins to paint the world
As leaves fall like words murmured
Buzzing hummingbirds cry out in alarm
And the edge of our vision is blurred
English Jam Oct 2018
I'm so tired now
The weariness is taking effect
The cracks in my smile are beginning to show
The tears are staining my face
I just want to curl up and feel your arms wrap around me
And see your golden smile softly glint in the dark
And watch storms whirl in the pupils of your eyes
I'm crushing so hard right now
My lips are stinging
It's the absence of your touch
Gently gracing my chest
Gasping for your darling pretty eyes
Just
Hold
Me
You silly, shy, oh so dreamy boy

And when I wake up
You'll be there
Love,
English Jam Apr 2018
Sitting in some car in a forgotten parking lot
Grey marks the skies
Lush green plants peeping in
The wildlife of concrete and paint makes the perfect background
For
Little ***** of liquid heaven falling on my windscreen
And some music to complete the scene
Each guitar line synchronises with each raindrop
Each blast of power thunder hits hard like heavy metal
But the soft clouds, the gentle ebb and flow lull me to sleep
Whispering, persuading me to dream
But I really don't want to miss this shard of time
I never want to lose little moments like these

A silver raindrop is born by landing on my car
Crash landing, rather
The bubbling pocket of mystery travels down
Swerving and slamming into other fellow pockets in crime
It's life cycle completes when it reaches the bottom
It races to it's death, unable to stop gravity's plan for it
Each drop morphs into another, making a wave
The rain weaves an intricate web of waves
All strutting their sparkly magic before me
I sense a metaphor for humanity creeping in
Millions of crescendos growing about
Too concerned with their internal politics to worry about others
But I stay focused on the beauty all around

I wonder if heaven has rainy days
If so, this must be one of them
English Jam Apr 2018
Mountains on mountains erupt from the earth's chambers of burdened lava and collapse back into their hellish landscape just as quickly

Waves assault the beach in frenzied randomness, striking their mark upon the sand and washing it away in the same breath

Birds flail about, learning to sail the clouds while dolphins soar their vast expanse of golden sea

People in suits war with each other for ****** glory, sign a strip of paper agreeing to stop, then ignorantly carry on their violent pastiche

Far away, tucked behind his world of scattered phrases and pretentious works of art, the writer observes all this

P
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C
R
A
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T
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A
T
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G
English Jam Mar 2018
[Part the First]

There's some giddy, childish sensation
The hope of a new generation

Faceless cameras war for my voice
A flashing ocean of stomps and shoves
Taken from me is my choice
Given is a false sense of love
They smile too wide to be true
Contorted and stretched, like some plastic
But they're all I have before the blue
So deep breaths, and then come dramatics

People who pass me by
Don't seem to realise
The emptiness of the sky
When they look into my eyes

They ask:
Is it lonely up in space?
Is it a cold, abandoned place?
Is it bright amongst the stars?
Do you know who you really are?

[Part the Second]

My life has faded to drunken thoughts
Reality doesn't confirm what can't be bought

The multicoloured psychedelia
Of nebula turning to rainbows
Now looks more fake than ever
And so my sanity goes
There's a beast out there, lurking
I'm not sure if it wants me
But my hope is hiding, sulking
From the abyss that can hear and see

The worst way to die is alone
Where there's no one who can help me
As my punishment destroys my home
At least, from my memory

They screech:
It's so lonely up in space
It's a cold, abandoned place
It's too bright amongst the stars
I think I'm dreaming too far

[Part the Third]

The faintest echo of laughter
Presents itself as my only answer

It's distant, like someone drowning in ecstasy
But it rings from the walls to my ears
The effect of the starry-eyed seas
Has mutated into whimpering fears
I know I'm not amongst the stars anymore
But the damage cannot be undone
So I gave myself to the floor
I could lie here, and never see the sun

Space could've never actually existed
Just a vivid fantasy of escape
But my mind has been so twisted
It must've been the cruelty of fate

They wonder:
Was it lonely up in space?
Was it a cold, abandoned place?
Will the stars ever forgive?
Do I still have a life to live?
English Jam Sep 2018
Wings of darkness float my way
I am the ocean, a sprawling black mess
But I still can't sea
Harsh orange rages on forever
Words are scattered like puzzle pieces that won't fit
Colours unravel whether or not I want
It's too much, trying too hard to be victorious
The whispering, the endless laughter, it's driving me to a pit
Pain takes flight as a member of a controlling fleet
Embracing the full fury of a blackened spiral
To slowly drag me away to a chamber of scorching heat
Everything feels so painful, yet I don't stop it
Because it's glorious
For one moment, I feel triumphant
Soon the feeling will drag me under with it
But to hell with long-lasting pleasure
Serenity
Happiness
Wings of darkness take me away
There's a pun in the beginning. Try to "sea" it.

Dear, that was terrible.
English Jam Jun 2018
The air is perfumed with fresh rosemary's
And the wild springs with lush berries
Their presence colours the nursery with a sweet loom
It bleeds into the forecast for tomorrow's gloom
Nostalgia hits hard, heartbreaking and eerie
For a day when I wasn't paranoid and weary
Well, I'll be down by the Brighton pier
Watching birds float past in lonely fear
I'd love to turn away

The pristine sun shines like Hades
The outside scent is yellow, maybe
Little daises laugh in the foreground
Gardens sow a loving sound
Once I could see hope in the trees
And the love that whispered on the breeze
Now the trees foreshadow longing
And the gale howls with wronging
I'd love to turn away

The intimacy in my yellow tinted flowers seems to have faded
And the soft orchards have been invaded
My words burnt in a smouldering pile of dust
And steaming with the heat of my lust
I told a crowd I had something to say
But the people turned away
away
away...

— The End —