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English Jam May 30
Boredom on a Sunday is inescapable
I try to hide it behind playing my musical instrument
Trumpeting with my trumpet - blowing my own horn -
I'm praying no one interprets that last sentence as an innuendo
Anyway, I'm nodding off, signing out of reality
The world goes hazy in a second
And I'm ****** into the vortex of a dream

Weird how when a dream begins, we immediately understand the situation
For this scene, I'm spewing blood from my spleen like a bottle of sauce squeezed too hard
It stains the leather of my vehicle
My foot is compressing the pedal practically to the floor, and the speedometer is twinged in half from all the pressure
The monolith of a highway I'm speeding on shakes as though giants stomp upon it
And the wail of a siren drives me into a frenzy as I try to escape the inevitable
Their polychromatic lights dance at the edges of my eyes, spurring rhythm into action
Even though they must be aeons behind, my heart melodramatically pumps in my chest as though the police are in the backseat
Blood bursting through my temple, thoughts wheezing by like someone's let go of hundreds of balloons  
Up ahead, the road twists itself into a knot of nothingness
My hands are wrapped around the steering wheel so tightly, I fear I might never be able to release them
It's a slight movement: right hand goes down, left goes up, but it kicks the vehicle sideways
My body slams into the car with a satisfying crunch and my mind spirals to spaghetti strands
Oddly enough, the world becomes rinsed with blue wash and I'm underwater

My train of thought becomes peaceful, melodic
I float about, running on the inverse of the waves
Here, even a scream is joyous as it sounds all bubbly and childish
Suddenly, a red streak runs across the ocean, chilling me to the bone and erasing all my bubbles
The sea becomes glittered with red and blue streaks, a warning
Bullets stab at my spleen, reminding me of the pain that was, and still is
And my body gears into a full 360, concluding my return to the real world
Or is it the dream world?
Oh well
Either way, I'm back in my car
Carelessly freefalling from nowhere
Weapons, glass, blood droplets, pocket change, pedestrians...all breeze around slowly
Pleading with me to wake up
Then

Everything crumbles, and I smack my **** head against the window, splattering my brains everywhere
My car flew from the sudden turn and I crashed, I think
Now I lay, grasping onto consciousness while pedagogues staple me to the ground
The Lawman towers over me, grinning madly at my defeat
The most barbaric insult, however, comes from the radio, still magically working
"I fought the law and the law won," The Clash idly sing
One of my favourite songs turned into dark irony
The last I remember before blacking out is the scarlet and marine lights clashing forevermore

When I wake up, I'm face-down on the stony and icy floor
The cold burns me enough to wake me from la la land
The iron grip of the handcuffs feels very real
Words are forced into my head, not by my own design, but sort of like they've been placed there
An argument as to whether existence has a meaning is taking place in my head, and I can't stop it
Sort of like how in a dream, you can't control your thoughts or actions
Wait
This is still a dream, right?
Right?
Okay maybe I overreacted
I get that way when I feel isolated
Being out in the world all alone
Like before everyone had a phone
I didn't really mean what I said
I just get that way when I feel emotionally dead
I was feeling like no one understood me
It was breaking my heart internally
So naturally I lashed out at them with frustration
But now I know that was an overreaction.
So Josh(DaddyKiller), Holly and I made up and we're back to being friends. I was just having a whirlwind of mood swings in one setting.
L Apr 2017
don't make me
fall in love with you--
not again.

don't push me over the edge
to places far beneath me,
where roses show
their cutting thorns.

don't hurt me with
your beauty, your soft reassurances,
your sappiness that would congeal
like honey in your words, if it could

don't peel back the sky
to show me the infinite universe that
we can never have and the stars
that you will never name after me.

don't sink away into the forest
where I can't follow you
or even stare, the way that I can't help

don't adorn me
with the chains of guilt,
the melted wax of longing
that would burn against my skin

but most of all
don't leave me
alone with dust-covered memories
but everlastingly new regrets

just please don't make me
fall in love with you,
not again.
I know you love cheesy love songs
So here’s one for you my dear
You know who you are
So there’s no need to fear
How do you like it so far?

Cause girl you’re the reason that the sun shines
And why the flowers come out in spring
I don’t mind if you’re mine
But you’re the reason that I sing

Cause the first time I saw you
I knew it was love at first sight
Come on I know you feel it too
So move closer I won’t bite

You know you’ll always be my Hallmark Girl
And I’ll write you a proper song someday
I promise…
Only because you told me not to. :)
Hallmark Girl: http: //hellopoetry.com/poem/813541/hallmark-girl-lyrics/

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