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David Bojay Apr 2015
We were on our way to see the sunset
You had told me that's when your heart felt the warmest
I thought no longer and wanted to feel your hands when you felt the summer sun in your soul
"Move On" by Garden City Movement was playing, the vibe felt so romantically deep
I was falling within the time the song was playing
The mellow sounds made me imagine we were sinking into each other’s paths
Everything felt so surreal
You were looking out the window with a blank stare
When you turned to look at me I swear I could see cosmology in your pupils
I saw the truth, so bright and clear
I felt a kind of love that wasn't prompted
It was there in the most natural way
The sun was setting and our destination was close
Along the way we had talked about living together after everything had passed in our lives
You had mentioned names you'd name our kids even though we weren't serious, I knew deep down we had envisioned it already
We talked what we'd name our dog
We talked about what kind of diet we were going to have
We talked about showering together to save water even though we knew we'd have enough money to pay the water bill
We talked about reading to each other before bed
Going to bars and meeting each other all over again as a game
Movie nights
Barbecue nights
Silent nights
And long walks around the city at 1am
Heading back home and going to Ihop at 3am
When we got there I told you to wait up a bit only so I could open the door for you to show you that I'm still the same gentlemen I am when we first met
You smiled and got out the car, I held both of your hands and kissed your forehead and told you I loved you so much
Although we were erose, we knew we'd make it
I got the blanket out of the back seats and walked a certain distance uphill
Tall buildings, orange skies, and a little forest under us
You were into constellations and I was into the truth
I had named a star after you every night for the past year and a half and told you all of these stars you see now are a reflection of what you mean to me
Endless nights I wish I could've been laying down next to you
We saw everything, so you meant everything
The grip between our hands could start a fire
The grass we were laying on was so soft, you had said you’ve always wanted to watch the sunset with someone you loved
You said “my dreams finally came true” I smiled and held you so tightly not knowing time will take this moment away soon
The voices in my head were yelling random things out of excitement, I didn’t know what to say so I leaned over and kissed you like I’ve never kissed anybody else in my life
Every one of my senses were whole at the moment and your kiss reminded me of what it felt that one night I had a dream of visiting myself in heaven when I was at my lowest mentally
Now we’re here and the sky was darkening, a breeze was coming in so I let you borrow the hoodie I had in my car
The sun was nowhere to be seen so we headed back to the car, I opened the door for you again and you had smiled again
I thought to myself, I’ll never get tired of opening the door for you or seeing you smile
With everything that was going on around us, the positive and the negative, I only cared for you and you only cared for me
Our spirits had binded in between silences and we took long breaths before we kissed because we knew we wouldn’t be able to pull away after that
Driving away from the place, we told each other it wouldn’t be the last time doing that, in fact we told each other there would be better days which I doubted because everything about your presence alone was already the best experience in the universe
I could’ve gone to Mars and I’d still prefer being with you because it all filled my heart with joy
A kind of hope you know you can depend on
A kind of destiny that plays out the way you imagine it
A kind of love you know will last even after the bugs under the ground start eating away my body when I’m buried 6 feet under
The moment was taken away when I saw the lights of an eighteen-wheeler coming right at us because the driver was drunk
I looked at you in panic and you looked at me, time had froze
You closed your eyes just before the crash even though everything was going by so fast
I only remember seeing the sun one more time and that was in your eyes as if they had recorded the setting where I felt the most whole when I was with you
“WHERE IS SHE?!” I yelled
“WHERE THE **** IS SHE?”
My heart was beating so fast and you were nowhere near me, I could feel it
A lady wearing a lab coat came in, suddenly in my head a had a conversation planned out and she was saying you were in the other room and that you were okay
But you weren’t
“She didn’t make the accident… I’m sorry”
I remember doctors coming into the room because they had heard me screaming out
“NOOOOOOOOOOO” “LET ME SEE HER” “THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM” “WHERE IS SHE?” “THIS ISN’T FAIR”
My pillow was soaked in tears, they were falling by the sides of my cheeks
I moved my body around even though it hurt worse than a million knives stabbing me at the same time
I had to go see you
I had to go see you no matter what
The doctors held me down and I had to fake being calm for the longest
My mind was dying
My heart was dead
My body couldn’t take the pain
I figured it was you that gave me the strength to pull the cord, so I could go visit you…. In the other life
And so you did, but I had committed too many sins to go where you were
At least you tried to save us, I love you so much
Listen to
Move on by Garden City Movement
While reading this
David Bojay Jun 2018
their appearances seem more approachable
their words are tender
their taste in music even gets better
but that doesn't define her

their thoughts are clearer

yet, they never change

(when in doubt, they'll awaken something in the subconscious that will trigger their reaction, it's too late to respond)

their mood becomes dull
in the presence of a hollow skull
with nothing to tell but show underneathe their shirts

they don't change much

in the end, they'll become what they've always been
David Bojay Jan 2015
Look at your friends and kiss them
Look at your mom and hug her
Kiss you older sibling
Kiss your youngest
Tell your preacher I said *******
Tell him I found peace in myself somewhere else
Tell him I dont live for SOMEONE or SOMETHING but my life
I dont want to live life just so I can be judged at the end and fear it
I dont want to fear dying because all of the sins
I want to live by my sacrifices
I want to live it for me
**** is very dull... like I want to feel you and kiss you and touch you and just sense you not just ****...
Theres so much that hold us back from loving eachother like judging color and race or differences.. get to know them
theses so much energy that we can't even access in this form
You're human I'm human, lets be together and love
Every interaction should be loving and compassionate
The only thing we're looking forward to in life is dying and going to heaven
I'm not with that
I'm wanting to live in the moment and love everything
School is not a place to get through life
It's learning that will
Its crazy
Some people at my school want to commit suicide
A girl at my school is getting ***** at home
A boy is questioning his sexuality
If your likes makes you happy don't be scared to say them
Lets live instead of just existing
Lets let of our pride and forgive
Appreciate and act on it
Sorry
David Bojay Apr 2020
Waking up in valorous conduct/
aware of my impetuous commitments/
I long for awakenings when my eyes seem to be open/
Misinterpreting a reality I can’t untangle/
Trying to bring about the moments that brought me most happiness by force/
Valiant to go against my deepest rejections/
Alone in the moments we belong together in/
To think my art was stymied by your love/
Selfish me, couldn’t see it took a selfless “Sweet” to redeem our forever ever after/
         (Interruptions from the tip of my ego)
(Getting the best of my fragility, I’m not tough)
In shambles after processing what once was, actually was/
Questioning the will my mental grip strength had during changes I never wanted to face/
Your love, like pummeling fists dodged my ignorance/
Careless and regretful, the silence is filled with what “was”/
Ashamed, but perhaps a benison in development.... through the pain/
David Bojay May 2014
I have a thing for loving and hating time.

What is time? A limit limit.

The sun and the moon don't determine what I get to do at a certain time in between the 24 hours in the day, time heals the wound, but there's also time to remember how much you've lost.

What is good?
What is bad?

A title to your actions based on your thoughts?

I'm confused, and I just woke up.
David Bojay Feb 2015
I remember I fell head first to your big brown eyes
I hummed my favorite songs to the thought of you being there listening to my lameness
A bottle of Crown couldn’t ease the emptiness at night
I could tell you were sure when you fought for us, when the faults were mine
I painted a picture of your head on my chest with my imaginary paintbrush
I’ve been taking it gentle with the help of solitude
I’m trapped in a prism full of memories of your blank stares
I’ve let go of the pain but I still reflect on it
Expressing my feelings on it like if change came that easy
Seems like it was just yesterday we were arguing about the little things
Questions on how to strive, I never knew
Displacement of our paradigms, I always thought so negatively
I could’ve found reasons to shed a ray of light into us
Now all I have is a hologram in my mind that I try to touch and just goes through
I remember my first daydream of our future
You were wearing a white dress and all I could feel was sureness
I lived by that truth of you being mine for a long time and I was obsessed with it
I was obsessed with you and the ideas we could’ve brought to life in time
I’ve realized that you’re perfect and my feelings are just a glimpse of what’s truly real to me
David Bojay Mar 2014
i want to be an aspiring nothing
senseless i know
i dont like getting socially acceptable answers, just to not seem weird
why cant people answer me with answers that reflect their true selves
i used to wonder if disorders were characterized by emotional and behavioral problems
and if meant to be's were planned by people
and not by God
i'd be challenging opinions on the challenged and
what do they base humans on?
chaos and not believing in the "right"?
i used to want to be "intelligent"
then i found out to be intelligent i had to meet environmental demands
i dont think i'll ever be intelligent,
and i dont think a person should be set to a title
i grow up daily, and im a variety of things
to be something in particular, there's limits
i'd rather be nothing and do all
than to be something and do one task
i used to adore the word of God,
with pain in my heart
now i get rich from less of the influential, and everything that is taught with no teacher to teach
i used to sin and wait for consequences
now i sin because Jesus Christ died for them
i used to measure my so called "intelligence" by using big words,
later i found out it didn't matter if i used big words in my simple sentences
what mattered was the meaning behind it
i used to wonder what God really meant
i used to think he wasn't significant because of the 3 letters, I was 5 years old
now thanks to beautiful printed letters in the bible i know that he's an option to believe in to be happy
"and when you pray, do not use vein repetition, as the heathen do. for they think they will be heard for their many words." (Matthew 6:7)
i guess that's why im alive, i prayed to die for me repeatedly
my selfish self didn't want to feel pain when someone i loved, left me
i guess purpose grows, and in time i'll know
until then
i'll be nothing but an expression
um
David Bojay Jan 2015
um
Finding pain deap in the sea
Deep in the heart
8501
Becoming the one, erasing my dumb, feeling what was numb
The green make her come but don't make her ***
Junk days are done
She made me feel good until I found out she was drunk
What a deception I knew I was done
These new girls are trash and nothing but stunts
Why are your sheets so wet? I just wanted some fun
I was destined to pull the trig when I was aiming my gun
My rights could be a lie but I'm still certain
Could be derogatory to the way you're living  
Oh well
umb
David Bojay Dec 2014
umb
Finding pain deap in the sea
Deep in the heart
8501
Becoming the one, erasing my dumb, feeling what was numb
The green make her come but don't make her ***
Junk days are done
She made me feel good until I found out she was drunk
What a deception I knew I was done
These new girls are trash and nothing but stunts
Why are your sheets so wet? I just wanted some fun
I was destined to pull the trig when I was aiming my gun
My rights could be a lie but I'm still certain
Could be derogatory to the way you're living

I think
David Bojay Feb 2015
Writing stories under the moon
Like creating for our universe
Like writing for the future
Like inspiring for my children
Like making stories for kids to correct in textbooks
Like writing lies for a truth based on theories
Like writing truth for a false prediction of the future
Like disproving the Egyptians
Like showing just how passionate I am about words
False intellects tell us differently
But we've got it all
We've got it all
We've had it all
We'll have it all
Unreal limits, the only limit is the speed of light
Like knowing loving and not knowing what to do with it
Like regretting someone you've had for so long
Like running around looking for passion when it's in you
Like existing but not knowing how to live
Like acting but not knowing what you did
Like popping ecstacy and expecting to please
Like hugging your mom and not knowing wether she'll wake up the next morning
Like walking away and never coming back to what was your destiny
David Bojay Mar 2019
my youth
            ending very soon
sinking in my head

  seeing through a tube

(let go)

with nothing to lose
your soul
beaten and bruised
you wander with no clue

I examine all your shades of hue
you
see me as a fool
but darling of HIS, I'm just way too cool
David Bojay Mar 2014
no genocide in my atmosphere
i live in abandoned creeks where the trees purify my gray tobacco filled lungs
the valid is everywhere
indulgence to color black and white stories
im a boy with the mind of an 86 year old ex drug addict with a flame in his heart being put out by a girl he lost his virginity to
my rebellious ways are triggered by the raking of my joys being taken away
i carry balloons in my backpack to show people that even if your physical state shows bags under your eyes,
inflation of colourful ideas can be put out whenever through experience in this realm of fullness of time and self narration to any destination
David Bojay Jul 2014
I woke up and felt like I needed to sleep more
But I could not
I woke up and nothing really mattered, it ***** how I have to look through things and see their worth the same way I saw them the night before
I feel like people think a little bit more than they feel
I feel a tornado in my head moving around my thoughts, but they're still intact
I have business ideas, but I have no idea where to even look for help
I dont give a **** from 7am all the way until 3am
My pictures are lame I just take what I like
My followers on insta are thirsty and so is your girl
My friends don't care about the government
My brother makes $37 an hour
My dad still lies to my face even though I'm already grown
My mom doesn't have faith in God like she claims to have
I'm coming back from a bike ride even if the worst happens
My motives were women but the clock keeps going even when you feel a still in your character
I couldn't care less about Benjamins
The faces keep piling but I'm still looking for sales
I mean how can people be so Texas weather when you only feel love for them
I mean 90 degrees to below freezing is a such a hard pill to swallow
My high is drained in cups of liquor I never sipped
My system clean, whistles aren't so clean
And I hope to be on your hit list
David Bojay May 2017
it's the little things that are a big deal, in this world

status
money
drugs

make up this certain perception that makes me want to off myself
David Bojay Oct 2016
MUUUUst write

because the moment has letters that I can turn into delight  

I have 18 tabs open right now
But sometimes I want to get out and take 18 tabs

then say Hi to Terence Mckenna
David Bojay Nov 2014
I haven't written about anything serious lately. My mind is pretty occupied these days. I really don't know the reason behind MLA format, why deduct points because I didn't double space. I don't know, it's not so important. Everything is blurry sometimes, reality is pretty awesome once you get the hang of it. Winter is coming, I haven't really bought anything warm in a long time. I don't really regret diving into the ocean of psychedelics, I just think it was really stupid of me to get caught up in them. I'm walking by a group of adults smoking cigarettes, I love the smell. I don't really know why, but it reminds me of a lonely winter in a forest. Maybe one day I'll fully understand why I can never write about one subject at once. Until then, the art of life will be in the same paragraph with the art of death. I was reading this artical on the internet, and it said that the most natural way to die is to die the same way you came out from your moms wound; crying and covered with blood. I've thought of the many ways that could possibly happen, it wasn't that heroic. I'm remembering so much at the moment. I never want to feel any doubt, I've had enough of that. I just want to make people laugh with my stupidity, and have a lot of ***. I love sharing thoughts with people, but sometimes I love the satisfaction of being the only one that has access to them. I stopped relying on people this year, I feel different. My priorities are starting to get together throughout time. Keep my heart baby, keep my heart. I found love finally. I used to be buried in whatever feeling that was when we stared at eachother. Although I will never face it, everything I love is going to leave me one day, and that's just real **** I'll say with no doubt, but what's the point? I will always feel for eveything.
David Bojay Jan 2019
when it all makes sense
the hunch that leads you to a conclusion
that I had a right to think the way I did
Because the end is clear
and whatever I worried about when I broke, became the truth
and now I’m no longer in the picture
your picture
your experience


but why does it matter right now?
stuck in thought, writing them down and deconstructing the meaning of all it ever was or will be


you are doing you

and so am I

whatever makes you happy

in the end

All is clear

Bad or good

The end is clear

plenty endings sum up a conclusion with an ending as well

and when we die

It’ll be clear
We are always in the middle of something
David Bojay Jun 2014
I'm in love with her.


The story is being written within the doubts and sureness about eachother.
David Bojay Nov 2017
passing lights
on a gloomy saturday night
when the sun is asleep
I'm wide awake questioning what I currently seek

"there's so much to go"
I THINK

I go to the restroom and feel like my energy is going down the toilet

I pause the music palying in the background
Silence the hainting voices and shower

Clean my body

Turn off the water

Shiver for 5 minutes

I forgot my towel
David Bojay Jun 2015
When you think of drugs, you think of all of the bad things they do to your mind
I mean, what's so bad about being addicted to happiness
Drugs aren't just drugs
They are addictions that guide the soul
So is her *****
Intelligent ****
Mental serial killer
Universal artist
Emotional balance
Diseased heart
Romantic ******
Spiritual heterosexual
What have I become?
In the end, I was set at the right place... at the right time.
David Bojay May 2014
I called your number about a few minutes ago, and I left you a voicemail you'll never hear
Spoken words that'll never reach your ears
Listening to them wont change a thing so I said things I'll feel about you for awhile even though you won't care
My voice sounded weak, I was sitting on the ledge of trying to forget
Even though I'll never let myself go from that ledge, I'd sure want to
But these days, I can't even if I tried
Even if I suffered from a condition of forgetting things, I wouldn't be able to

Unsureness really gets to me I admit

Its 4:00 pm, and I have nothing much to say today. sorry.
David Bojay May 2014
if you think too much you wont get **** done.
David Bojay Oct 2014
Wassup
Fluid moving
The dope game on hold nor I'm doing
School got me drooling
Took a break from lucy, wasn't funny like Louis
That focus got me back to grippin' the pencil
Working my mental
Normally numbers don't mean much to me unless the faces are green like what a vegan be eatin'
Lint rolling these ******* off my "Off The Wall"
Not looking unless she drops the weight off my jaw
No time for mascara
Clean faces my preference
Attraction an eye glance
No sentence
Branded linens is just an extra
Time worthy if she with it without Vera
No need for attention from others so why bother venting to ears that don't listen and dismiss it, like talking to air and waiting for comfort
Faced imaginary bullies in a duly, was never a runner
Fell out in the Summer due to the blotters
Moving away from irrelevants, cause time don't rewind so deleting some lines like massaging my vibe
Allergic to being second
Mindless moves
Intentions of a legend? Not really, I'm not J Lennon
Slowing things down without THC
The use is useless to me
Moon walking around triple D
Confusion leading to solutions of gun shot melodies
Is that the answer caused by envying the enemy?
I've made peace to a disease that didn't even exist
David Bojay Jun 2017
a little busy
homework and work
little time for the words

how can I make time when it just happens

old people coming and going in the gym I work at

(I've seen too many naked old men to not dream of them)
I don't fantasize though

i love you sabrina, sleep tight
David Bojay Jul 2017
with so much pain to condense//
burning your heart like incense//
waiting for love to make sense//
but you're stuck between (your thoughts that don't prevail)//
my hell is your hell//
and we die because we will not dwell
David Bojay Jul 2017
compiled thoughts of past events

only to remember the lessons I should reflect from

(some worthy memories I dismiss on purpose)
(the trigger isn't worth being pulled)
David Bojay May 2017
you can take all, but not my will to experience my will to live
David Bojay May 2017
we were in the city,
serving our prayers to the nobody that exists, loving with every centimeter of our bodies
embodying the reality that this love, is true
for I grow day by day, my love for you bypasses morals
David Bojay Aug 2015
I see you looking at this miss
David Bojay Dec 2014
If you want to see chaos watch tv
David Bojay Aug 2014
Maybe we are now what we're meant to be
I found my passions in a dark hole, I found them when I was someone I hated being
I used to fear losing, now I know sometimes to win you have to lose
Like losing lovers, like getting strong
Like losing feelings, like opening myself to more
Maybe I am all I've been accused for, I acknowledge everything and I'm sorry
But never will I want to be what diseases
I'd rather be what kills the bold
Do tears for people really mean much?
When the clock fast forwards they'll dry
Time wont keep you a still because I'm running with pain, I'm running with regrets, I'm running with happiness
Maybe I'll settle 100 years from now when my loved ones wear all black and stand around me
I fell 10m per second....
I want my wings back
11:49pm
David Bojay Feb 2014
everything that made me
is forgotten at some point of self progression
and yes, the meaning of true love changes within every lover you love
it seems like it gets truer everytime you fall again
but the things you do arent the purest
maybe one day i will center my interests and arrange them
but everything is scattered right now, and I dont know... I think it's beautiful
im obsessed with a lot of things
im obsessed with the grip of your hands around me when im kissing you
im obsessed with the cold weather and how it makes me feel like such a hopeless form of heat
creating myself has had it's obstables
and God has put some flat walls that are hard to climb
and my mother has made my ears hurt due to the screaming in my ear because of my behavior of doing the "right"
the world is patterned with joy and regret
at times I dont know where to go
and everyone else has chosen a path that may or may not workout
i have trouble doing so, i want you to hold my hand while I do so
because people can make sweet tea bitter and pian reflects glory
the tires on my bike are flat
and my destination is getting further
it seems like the longer I stay a still
the further and harder I have to fight
i thank obstacles for creating me this far enough to love the unloved
i think i finally see the upside, and stars arent so far
the sun isnt so suffocating the breeze i want to feel when im with you
catch me stealing stars like stealing smiles from the happy
maybe contradictions are taught in heaven
maybe truth is taught in hell
and maybe i just love you a little too much
maybe living is worth it now
i think it's now
David Bojay Mar 2014
if my rights are wrongs, doom me, for I am comforting minds within themselves
surroundings and experience influence, I will go through pain to make you feel secure, be what you desire
if the world disapproves your sexuality and says its wrong
accept yourself for what you are, and be right within you
Because your impact is greater than what you think it is
Not being afraid can influence people to get rid of freight of expressing what they've always wanted to be or do
if you ever feel doubt in your guidance on the road
know that youve impacted the silent
and if you give up, their hope will be gone
be someone's help or hope, someones life progression, create gateways
Smile to the malignant, you'll see reflections soon enough
Feel at home in your mind, feel welcomed
The rooms that make your home are the interests that make you, love what you do with passion because you've impacted me to write this, to reach many others like you that can do the same
The love for a hobby can trigger someones passion, to do the same, to do the right, to progress as a whole
to help people, to help communities, to help the the world, to break barriers
purpose is to serve
Purpose is to make a purpose
for the ones who need guidance in their purpose
anything can create, innovation in humanity is within you
with your will anything is possible
be gracious, for you have potential to change lives, to change perspectives
your happiness can make happiness all around your surroundings
your actions are impactful chants, scream
dont be afraid to show your emotions in expressive ways, thats what makes the world
its defined by you, do good
its the little things
that can make a little road create highways and routes in lives; options
You are glorious even if you're corrupt
sadness and happiness are glorious and im happy to be passionate about people, like you, all of you
Dont be afraid to break barriers with your passion
Dont be afraid to break barriers with your love
You are possible of doing anything
You are someones road to take
To be saved
To accept themsleves
Inspire and motivate
You are the art of progression
David Bojay Apr 2014
destiny has betrayed my hopes
im not sure to let things go
or to hold them tightly
is it always my fate to feel lonely?
i seek no guidance in whats meant to be
i listen to new beginnings knowing struggle is upon my next footsteps
the plasm of existence is on my shoulders
the creation of walking through rocky roads,
is the struggle to see the light
when i come home promise me
supper will be on the table, and unspoken prayers are shouted to the hands of God and seen in mysterious ways along the way
im no good at coming up with titles
David Bojay Feb 2019
a sirenic void
entrance to detachment

what is there to replace?
when all there is has always been

out the bin with regrettable sin
the walls of boundaries are thin

when all comes to an end
where the **** do I begin?

sashayed into a doom
the corner of my room

a lesson learned with grace
a healthy bitter taste


******* ****


my time I cannot waste
I put the flower on a pedestal and not a vase


sometimes wasted times wasted feeling numb below my waist

copy paste erase **** I rather not face

what's the point?
David Bojay Feb 2021
here with nothing to think
trying to express what's worth being said
i'm sitting here
the bottle is empty
typing is tricky
if it's not happening around me, should i care?
the solo will go on
the beat will move
move forward
lessons to reevaluate
something seems off though
my schedule is on point
hours doing what I love
months not seeing who I love
months not talking who I adore
should i even think anymore
when it all ties back to her essence
she's moved on
perhaps i'm stuck
im... not
feelings are limited
there's more
david
there's more
trust me
there's more to inhale
think less about a past that doesn't exist
everything is straight forward
we just make it sound pretty
language
the ability to communicate in a unique manner
we don't all communicate the same way
there's easier ways to say things, **** just sounds prettier
auditory elegance
what am i doing??
bored tonight
it's valentines
does it even matter
idk?!
this morning it did
tonight feels like any other
missing you right now
but i dont think about you all the time
i'm confused
do I truly love you?
and if i did
why dont you?
David Bojay Jul 2015
Baby we're so intimate
And this love will fade, sadly
You'll know me, then you knew me
We'll blow trees and self reflect and see the truth under leaves
So intimate only when lit we'll die like shots with a full clip?
Nah I hope we strive and dive into the fountain of youth where the truth between me and you isn't so blue
And you thought I was Gold and I wish I never doubted your truth
Time flies and we died like the falling leaves during autumn
What's the problem? You said I went in harder without the ******
You said I made you happier than your trips to Nordstrom
Talking as I go I wish I had the nerve to tell you upfront
Least I'm honest now and I'll get **** for this
But I can't look back at the past because these thoughts wont last
The day we split I was suffering from boredom
Went *** and felt numb
You were crying for a couple months
I was barely living, my mother was questiong her last son
What's the reason? There's no reason in seasons when you believe in God
Believe me and please me
You never did, I guess it was just emotionally
Self improvement they wouldn't understand
On the other hand, I'm yours if you say you need to other man
Positive energy
Ah **** I see our lives in geometry
Can't take our way our inner chi
Could never do monogamy
Guess I'm just like my father, nah I'd rather be d.e.a.d
**** a reaction
This **** is blasting
And this will go way harder than my last **** blasphemy
David Bojay Jan 2015
I keep rereading what I wrote last night... everything is so true and I don't deny it
I was out of it
Out of myself but so in with words
My brain is loose and fresh
I feel me
I feel you
I always will
I always had
Why don't I have the guts to tell you?
Why?
You'll ******* off most definitely
I keep thinking of you
If you think about it, we're so close to death
I could be typing this and someone could be pointing a gun at me from a distance
I hope you're okay
I hope you're safe
I think I'm God
At least the concept
We served our time with depression and we made it out
I was crying inside the mental hospital knowing you left me when I fell down on life
I'd pray and pray that one day you'd be my wife
We'd talk about how we would live together and how we'd own pets
Trips to the store and *** that would feel so right
No matter how cliche that is I'd say I was saying only the truth
Our truth is made up and thats what makes it special
It's ours and only ours
It was never about me, but us
As conscious beings
We
We are here we are there
We are ours and sometimes lost
I drew myself in your arms and time is erasing me
We've erased the future we envisioned and the present is gorgeous for the moment
Poetry speaks and the wind sure likes to listen to me
I hope you're listening
I hope everyone knows there is still time to forgive
Because I forgave
And love is a reflection of the cosmos
Like we're a reflection of equations
We could be the truth or we could be misinterpreted
We've created number we've created numbers we've created numbers we've created letters letters on letters on letters
We are time
We've made it to the point of limiting experience
We've created beliefs to follow for comfort
Do we really understand what life on earth was a million years ago?
Are we that great?
I don't want to get caught up in the past or in what I can be
I may be scared of what I'll turn out to be and I've always been scared to fear the future
What happened to me?
I hope in just simply becoming
Why cant we be together and grow strong?
We have titles for those who believe and for those who dont believe and those who don't and that separates us from us and judge eachother
Why can't we live without despising eachother and our beliefs
I'm just feeling more these days....
I just yeah
David Bojay Jan 2015
People cant live without music
A human made idea
We can do the same
We can't live without love
An idea in our heads
We can't
We've made our own satisfying ideas
We're so real with our senses
We're so words
Nomal, stupid, weird, mental, and great
We're so universe
We're so animal
We're so contradictory
The only thing we're looking forward to in life is dying and going to heaven
I'm not with that
I'm wanting to live in the moment and love everything
School is not a place to get through life
It's learning that will
Its crazy
Some people at my school want to commit suicide
A girl at my school is getting ***** at home
A boy is questioning his sexuality
Fight the challenge
If your likes makes you happy don't be scared to say them
Wha
David Bojay Apr 2015
Wha
Light this up real quick lighter
****** hear Sage and they go insane
Who's to blame
Lonely soul just a name you can't detain this brain
Scandalous
Triple six what the **** is sane?
Seeing kittens without the ******* haze
Stroke game long and fast that's Usain
Can't hear you over your girls moans, what the ******* saying?
Super lubin
Leaving all you spoofs
Stupid ****** leave me drooling on the stool
So above to even fall for these hoes cause they come and go like my sadness that makes me feel like a ghost
Too legit to even roast on my foes
Thoughts of overdose
But I can't die cause I am the Goat
Dismiss the dope
Very cynical
Self heal without the clinical
I've been there
I wish it was that easy but it was too difficult
Get it from the back and yo girl in fear
Always teased for being weird
Changing routes like I'm swerving the steer
Off some xanax and all the *** isn't pleasing my emotion to disappear into what's really real
That's death and thats what make you ****** squeal
Ruthless, heart of steel
All I see is snakes when I walk the halls
Down to ball
Never for a *****, money and nothing else
Helps me dwell
Living well trapped in this mental cell
214 ***** where I learned to be myself
Live to excel and to focus on my wealth
Dumb ****** live to flaunt what they cant even cop
Your girl pop lock and drop on this 7inch ****
Dumb ****** get socked up in this world like if their throats clogged
****** sour lime
These acts so undefined
Yo girl kinda fine my girl a ******* dime
The truth I'll help you find
In time we'll be divine and our hearts won't divide
I swear these ******* flinch when I leave em cause the sticky getting to the *******
Up on a podium on some potent
I told myself I'd quit cause I'm just a student
Bish yo man got them moobies
Bish I'm on yo girls mental movies
Bish we smokin some doubies
Bish we making moves
Bish keep up with the groove
Bish yo girl got them cooties
Bish you acting pretty goofy
***** not into materialism but this **** is Gucci
Bish we trip on some lucy
Takes me a minute to make yo girl juicy
Nosey ****** boogie
Bish I'm genius but I'm still pretty gloomy
David Bojay Feb 2014
im afraid the sun doesnt wait for me in the morning
im afraid people will love me for the wrong reasons
im scared of people understanding art one day
im scared people will look at me and think of me as an ideal teen dreamer
im afraid the stars are just reflections of the people who are sad
im afraid my soul is decaying as i think of ways to save myself
im afraid to let go of my mothers hand during prayer
im afraid of speaking up to my preacher about the doubts ive written about the bible
im afraid people will find out what type of photgraphy i like
im afraid people will make fun of the music i listen to before i sleep
im afraid the government keeps track of my internet history
im afraid of falling in love with the devil
im afraid of wonders i could have never thought of
im afraid im just another one Gods children
im afraid im just another one of those puppets Lucifer controls
im afraid of the eyes i look into when i look at the mirror
im afraid of a lot of things
im afraid of my mom not coming home one day
im afraid churches are illusions of a peaceful place
im afraid the only peaceful place is your heart
im afraid the only safe place is between your arms
im afraid i only feel peace when im kissing you
im afraid to live
im afraid to die
im afraid of myself
yesterday night
David Bojay Nov 2017
Love doesn't inspire me as much anymore
The moments come
But I was never good at writing down lovely moments
I think mistakes happen only after it all goes to ****
In the moment it seems like the roses have bloomed, and you feel like they'll never die
The spaces of quietness don't seem special anymore, as much
I still see beauty in the moment, but maybe not with the person I'm experiencing them with

If love came and went, I shouldn't worry about losing anyone

But that's what the meditating is for
I'm only human.... sometimes the feelings seem real
I guess that's what made me write this in the first place
Acting this poem out would just mean distancing myself from her
But I'll create the distance with this poem inside my mind

And wait for something to change my mind

Sometimes.... I can be confusing
****
David Bojay Apr 2014
bad days also happen when the birds are singing tunes that put pain you'd never thought will go away to ease


me trying to rhyme to my girlfriend

     styled flannels
ripped jeans and well done eyebrows
    flattering vowels
smell the opposite of voiding bowels
    will never skip you like like boring channels
defend you from rowdy cowards

    i sound stupid saying this out loud by the way

turns on 101.1 fm to calm my nerves and rhyme in style and confidence

i sit down on my chair, and breathe



pretty eyes, pretty eyes
    you sky dived truthfully to my paradox of lies


* at this point i wonder if she knows im writing about her *

            hopefully


lacy soft skin
    size 8 branded skate shoes
to love a non believer of the word i have faith in shouldn't be a sin
    when it comes to you, whats to lose?

* confidence rises

GOLDEN THOUGHTS
FILLED MY HEART LIKE A SOLD OUT SHOW AUTO LOT

SKINNY JEANS, NEVER LEAVE
    I'LL LOVE YOU UNTIL YOUR LAST HEART MELANCHOLIC BEAT

FOOL FOR YOU
IT'S THE TRUTH
YOU BRING THE BEST OUT OF ME AND I'LL NEVER REGRET YOU
LIKE TROUBLED PLANNED NIGHTS FULL OF *****


      be confident about what you say to the person you love

walks away
i dont really know
David Bojay May 2014
Whats enough?
Because I could still remember the worst after 3 blunts
I think I need some more, a few more
Restless nights make me a grumpy man, so I need some more
I had a dream last night, you were laying down beside me and the love that was once there, wasn't there
My memory traveled back a few months back, and I felt the love again
I cant depend on them anymore, no more
You're still nothing but a princess in the kingdom I drew in my head, and that's what you should think of yourself, you really should
My bad thoughts stopped following me, and the trail they were on vanished from behind me, I'm glad it did
I still the think whats the point to things, and then the sun sets and it looks like it's happening right next to the creek I go to, and I see the point to my beliefs, again
I used to look in the mirror and be scared of my own self, I'd fall to my knees and look at myself in the puddle of tears
My reflection was my bestfriend at the time, it told me, "toughen up"
I've toughened up a bit, and the tears are gone
Although sometimes I still look back at what I used to be, I've overcome the shadow that took control of my actions; they weren't good
I realized many things, a teacher doesn't really teach, our school is the world and all of the education we get from everything, is self education
I've seen myself in the words I've written, I now know my image, it's alright...
I've created a bunch of theories to live by and most of them are made from pain
Religion and science doesnt really phase me, they really dont
I think it's because I've never understood the general characteristics of nature that affects the models of Gods relation to nature... I think
Love is a word I've been tangled in for the longest, the meaning has played with my head, I'll never understand much of it, nor will I ever
I've balanced my perspective these past few months, and here I am
David Bojay Dec 2014
You're a floppy disk
I'm just information
Create the way we live
Sacrifice your ego
Overpriced education
I wonder if God put an angel on earth just for me
What is real loss?
I'll never fear loving with my all
I wonder who's not scared of holding my hand for 100 of years
Does anybody really know me?
Little things to cherish, to remember in the near future
The whole "becoming God" concept is being able to compete with something we'll never reach and that's how we become better, I'd like to think so
Probably not
Confidence doesn't exists, you're just scared to go through it
Or does it?
Or is fear really real?
Why post everything about your life through a camera on an app when you can fully live it?
I'll probably make it just to console my **** ups
I'll probably die just to let you know
My pain still lives but I've managed to cope without compounds
My loneliness still haunts but I'm handling it way better
People flaunting like they the realist and I'm becoming distant from love
I loved to love, I need it
I'm stubborn and I dont whether to be ashamed or not
Such a romantic but I can't express it to the wind
Now my past is buried in a hole I wouldn't dig deeper
David Bojay Jan 2014
I guess it is how we're made
Our fate lies along pain and tears
These days I just create art and listen to songs I'd dedicate to you
I imagine us in each others presence in motion of the music
The Saturdays I imagine myself with you and you're not with me are sadder days
There's times where I go on bike rides and pretend I'm riding to your house to give you roses
So I'd have your smile to look forward to
If I don't pretend, I'm riding to the destination of nothingness
If I don't pretend I would stay in my bed thinking of you wondering what it would be like you being secure in my arms
Sometimes pretending is all I can do to feel like nothing is missing
I've been pretending lately, and I'm okay
And I'll be okay until the day I throw myself from the building I've always wanted to visit
Then I'll be great
David Bojay Nov 2017
writing is a ballet recital

words are created by movement of your fingers on paper

if you're lucky enough to live another moment, the dance will keep going

and even these simple words

take
                   some

kind
        of processing.....

and it can be too fast to recollect

too fast to understand

it'll need some thinking

the trains of thoughts don't wait for you to hop on.....

be aware of what's inside


be here... David
David Bojay Nov 2018
when the autumn ends

will be we passed ammends?

doge the

                     pain.....

to get
           hit from another direction

i'll just fall.....

and get up again

don't you worry






           about David
David Bojay Jan 2019
what's to replicate?
a feeling I can't forget?

along with trembling thoughts passing through
moments in my blues

with nothing to lose
there's everything to risk

no one beside me on this cruise
no one to take inside of my Louvre

meaning in some coordinates

a place I can't climb out of

adaption to create something in the current situation I'm in

elevating in time

touch the ground in the moment

here like I was before

Like I always will be
David Bojay Nov 2018
around the space there’s fragility
If I break will I

come to my senses?

to seek for love is to seek for denial in the obvious of wrong times

used to share our lives and now it’s just too unsettling
Should of thought of me when I was trembling
To foresee what we didn’t know
Like we should to begin with
In the terrors of my mind I hear shrieks to add some tension
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