There are parts of me that
lay unrested - they are ghosts
in hallways, they are smoke
suffocating in locked rooms.

Sometimes I can feel
myself fading and it takes
all I have to pull myself
back from the abyss.

I'm walking on ice, yet
to find a stable foothold in
life seems unprecedented.

I still haven't learnt when
my hands began writing
rather than shaking.

I followed the shadows of the past,
I followed the silent screams,
I followed the murmur of malice,
I followed the tickle of peace,
I followed a familiar scent,
I followed the farewell nite bade,
I followed the promising kiss of dawn,
I followed the gentle caress of the bygone,
I followed a fading memoir,
I followed a vicious meander,
I followed the imprints hope left,
I followed the haunt of the undead,
I followed an illusion back to me.....

I rode out the storm
the sun shines brightly today
I can almost reach the rainbow
not so far away

If I end up alone
I’ll be ok
I can’t stay with you
Not one more day

I can’t live with the ghosts
Of your past and dead wife
I’ve tried to understand
But it cuts like a knife

I’ll never rate number one
Not even two
I can’t live with that
So I can’t live with you

Goodbye my love

i hope she was worth it
i hope she makes you feel like the only star in the sky
i hope she makes you laugh
i hope she tells you her ***** secrets
and i hope she accepts yours
i hope she kisses your nose
and gazes at your crooked teeth when you smile
because you're so overwhelmed by
how much you love her.
i hope she mindlessly strokes your hand
and never lets it go
i hope she wraps her legs around you
and falls asleep on your chest
i hope you love the way her hair smells
and i hope you feel safe.
i hope she lets you scream songs in the car
with the windows rolled down
i hope she makes you feel invincible
i hope she makes you feel a constant roller coaster
of nothing but good vibes
i hope she makes you laugh your true laugh
the one you hate hearing
i hope she absolutely loves it
i hope you love her with every fiber of your being
jesus christ
i hope she was worth it.
and if all my hopes come true
i hope you hold her and never let her go.

It's easier it seems
To put on a mask
And hide my silent screams
Only a few have seen me without my mask
And eventually they stopped and asked,
Would you tell me your story?
It is easier in this place
Where no one knows of my face
Distorted throughout years of pain
This mask covers my past
I don't remember when I took it off last.
But here,
No one knows this is a mask
They think they see me.

I made it
I lost loves
But I made it
I lost my friends
But I made it
I lost my old life
But I made it
I lost my social abilities
But I made it
How does one make friends
When they make it
To college?

Well I guess I knew it all along
You were singing to another's song
There was no harmony to our verse
So bad it couldn't be any worse

The words just never rhymed
Our life steps were out of time
And the way you always spared
The commitment was never there

Well like a bird without a nest
A rainbow without the rain
I see it all so clearly now
I see it through the pain

All the secrets you withheld
All those pretty little lies
Every question never answered
Another piece of me would die

Like a lake without it's water
A glacier without it's ice
You'd go dancing around the corner
To see who you could entice

So like a heart without it's lover
A sky without the blue
I'll guess I'll be moving on
Trying to forget about you

So like a bird without a nest
A rainbow without the rain
I'll be moving on
I think it's for the best

+


"Bluffin' can open many doors."


-

Fate isn't something alive,
Although it's purely divine.
As I write on these lines
My metaphorical ink disappears.
Apparently you can't keep it
For years.

When I was four years,
I didn't wonder how I got here.
I just lived in the moment,
Striving to own it.
Now I'm a poet,
I can write my own worth.

'Cause you can't jump over a hearth,
Without getting burned.
The ashes are my soul
Getting scorched over
And over,
Until I feel full;
And ***** all my love,
Which ends with me
Getting squashed like a bug.
Then a hug,
With the saying
"We can still be friends"
Oh joy, I can't wait
To see how
This ends.

Time flies by,
But I feel like I'm standing still
There's a part of me that doesn't mind
The stressed part
That doesn't want to deal with anything.
Then there's the other part of me,
That wants to run with the time
Travel the world
And die when the time is right.
Time flies by,
And I don't want to stand still anymore.