I wonder what secret
The trees whisper to the breeze?
Do the birds hear that secret
And announce it in their song?

Does the wind hold it
And drop it in the seas?
Does the sea speak it out
And share it with the stars?

Do the heavens then resound
With the secret of the trees?

And the clouds,
Oh yes! Those clouds
Blue, black and grey
Is that why come rushing?

Across the seas to caress
With gentle rain the trees
And whisper,
"Heaven knows your heart,
There are no secrets from God."

The trees smile and sway
Fulfilled and complete in love.

Welcome to the age of
“Go ahead and share your problem
As long as you already have it under control.”
The age of taking ahold of reality
And making it your own
Because it “can’t tell you what to do.”

Welcome to the period of
“Anything men can do,
Women can do while bleeding.”
Feminism is equality,
And it is the future—
A future much brighter than where we are now.

Welcome to the time of
Feeling every emotion possible
And not being ashamed to be real.
This time of having heartfelt talks
Because “what you feel is real”
So “we can talk whenever you’re ready”

But what if my problems
Haven’t been looked at yet?
And what if my reality is
A place of blood welling up—
With a threatening blade.
Because I’m drowning in my suffering.

How about when I need
A protective wall surrounding me
From the awful hurt I feel?
When all I want is a manly hug from
A brother or an oh-so-special man.
Can your woman still give me my shield?

Am I the only shell of a girl walking about?
If heartfelt talks are on the menu,
Then why can’t I ask about my shortcomings?
The ones that no one knows
But I still allow to define who I am.
Rid me of this sorrow in nothingness.

Will we ever discuss the real question
That needs to be asked and answered?
How do we fix ourselves
And reverse the dimensions of society?
Can we stop the empty sadness
That all to many face?

starlight,
star bright
the sun is awfully
dim tonight
i wish i may
i wish i might
don’t let the darkness
quench my light.

She asked me
“Now that I’m gone, how does the sun feel’
It feels unreal
Like it’s not even there
There’s no radiating warmth
And when I stop and reach for the sky
It slips through my fingers
I’m just grabbing at air
But when I stand motionless
Does the earth stop spinning
Do the birds that dare to challenge the sky
Do there wings stop flapping midair
Would the fish in the sea
Stop swimming because of me
If I stop moving
Would animals stop living
Would a lion stop haunting
Would a dog stop digging
Would the moon
Escape from its orbit
And head towards earth
If I stopped moving
Would the world even care

It arrives,
Unnoticed, unannounced.

Quiet,
At first.

Slow,
Seeping, dripping.

I put it down to a few stressful weeks.
I carry on.

It unpacks,
Worries, anxieties.

Gently,
For now,

Tiptoes,
Whispers, creaks.

‘It will leave soon’ I think ‘It always does.’
I keep going.

It settles in,
Getting comfortable.

Getting louder,
And louder.

Banging thoughts,
Insomnia.

‘Please don’t be happening again’.
I shuffle along my daily routine.

Claws in,
Insidious.

Screaming,
24/7.

Shame, worthlessness,
Hurt.

‘Please go away’.
I’m barely coping.

Growing roots,
Into my brain and heart.

Blossoming pain,
With every beat.

Emptiness, loneliness,
Abandonment.

Silence, Stillness,
‘I can’t move, I can’t cope.’

You’re a whirlwind
Always flying
Through my head
Never dying
Back and forth
To and fro
Like a merry-go-round
And around you go
You’re in and out
Up and down
Backwards, forwards
Smile, frown
Half-baked silly
Then stone-cold
Who are you really?
Will I ever know?

This ache in my heart
I wish it was nociceptive
I wish it was fleeting
I wish it would pass
But it won't
It'll continue to torment me
Until I've lost myself
In the negativity
It offers.