is it my fault? because i feel as though i have failed
you. failed to save and to heal. you
were always shattering out of my fingers and
lingers the pain splinters. now blood:
death red coats my hands, my mind, my
it hurts. my eyes ***** and sting because what
if i could have done more? what if i should
have held tighter or refused
to let you go? once would have been enough but
there stood my warring halves.
toxic water, toxic mind: poison love that must
be mine. greedy hands close at life's first
sign; anything is food when you find
your stomach unsatisfied.
song of the day: malibu nights by LANY
my heart is shattered
i love you
and i know you love me
but i dont feel loved
how can i know that this is good
when my tears and mascara
stain my face
and my pillowcase
for the third night in a row?
i guess my life was not meant to move in that direction
I fall in love much to easy—
This I know is true.
It’s from up on cloud nine
To a puddle on the ground
(Once I know my chance is through.)
Each fall hurts more and more—
My heartstrings truly break.
I scoop myself up
And ask once again:
How much more can I take?
But falling is what I love—
The adrenaline and rush.
With a weightless freedom
And care-free happiness
My brain just turns to mush.
i love falling until i meet the cold, harsh reality of rejection
I shoulda kept my mouth shut;
I shoulda let it go.
But I couldn’t let you finish.
All I wanted was you to agree.
I couldn’t keep my mouth shut;
I didn’t let it go.
Then you felt mad
Because he blew up.
If I had only kept my mouth shut;
If I had only let it go.
The chatter woulda started
Instead of the silence that hung.
how do you escape a moving car?
how do you get through
the days that are
all tears and tissues?
of running mascara
and stuffy noses
song of the day: “all we do” by oh wonder
I’ve found all the wrong love
In all the wrong places—
Every bad match
With every darkened heart.
At least that’s what you tell me.
i will no longer allow you to dictate who is right for me.