lord , how can you understand me ?
how can you relate?
the pain i face almost everyday ?
lord, why me ...why do i only hate?..
if I'm under your guidance ,..
why can't i feel your embrace ?...


i walked the path you walked
and i understand your grief all too well
but remember your not alone
you have my guiding help

know that the things you faced were painful
and i wept that it hurt you so
but it was allowed to shape your heart
so into my likeness you'd grow

but lord!!... lord what if i fall
what if I'm not good enough for your call ??.
then i will pick you up and help you to walk
but ...but ...lord ... what if i fall again?
and fall again ??....
          
        then
                     i
                               will
                                                pick
           ­                                                 you
                                                                ­             up ...

How do you truly know if you had made a difference in the world.
It is not done through Financial wealth, but through tears that were shed.
To fully come into account that you are truly love here on the earth.
Is by ** w many people attend your funeral after you had die.
It is even more shown through the tears that been shed for you.
This now my fear is how you truly make a difference in this life.
Its by every single heart that you have been use by Christ to touch.
For even if you gave someone money here but is not loved by them.
Then in reality you have still not made a difference in their lives.
Only by making a difference in even just one person live here.
Then you know that you have been used by God to change this world.

Hearts are
Wild creatures,
That's why our ribs
Are  cages

Jumping high,
She stretched with all her might
Fingers passing inches below
The first firefly of the night

It flew deep into the woods
She chased it far into the night
But she was not afraid
Following that firefly's bright light

In fits and bursts,
It grew dim, then bright
And as it led, she fearlessly ran
Deeper and deeper, into the twilight

The night grew darker
But the firefly brighter
The girl ran on as,
The forest grew quieter

This part of the woods
She had never explored
"Come follow me, follow me"
Her beacon implored

She followed yet further
The beasts of the forest grew near
But still she followed
And felt no fear

A last turn she was led on,
Then onto a beach
A pond, long held secret
She stopped, flushed as a peach

Soon she had to go back
With her the firefly stayed
To light up her soul
And forever brighten her days

One day
The internet may go down
Permanently

I wanted to thank you
All in advance
For sharing

Some of the most beautiful
Thoughts I have ever read

And If I was never able
To share again
Because of a downed internet

I would just say
For my final thoughts

It's so easy
Don't you know
To try to show

The love that Jesus showed

Or if not a Christian
Maybe you are a Jew

Buddhists too--
Can understand

That love is greatest
On this land (earth)

Jesus Is Lord
Amen.

I move through time like a ghost.
You move through me like a house.
You want me to make you my home.
I wasn't made to own anyone.
Can you see past what I have made this skin into?
I'm not any prettier on the inside.
I am smoke.
I am coal.
I am what settles after a natural disaster.
And still, I grow.
I grow.
I grow.
Into nothing at all.
What will I become?
There is a garden in your lungs.
You breathe violets onto me.
You make me dream the way a blind man might-
no colors,
only sounds;
just words shaking apart in my chest.
I could be so lovely for you,
if only I was made another way.
I could follow you into the void.
I could follow you into oblivion.
Can you take me to the place angels go?
Can you make me feel the way the sky does when the moon is fresh and small?
Please,
paint me pretty,
and strong,
and whole.
I am not a graveyard.
Will you make a monument of me?
You make me feel bright blue,
like irises moving in the wind;
fragile;
beautiful;
so ready to fall apart.
I have put down roots in this shining countryside,
and I am clutching at dirt,
and grass,
and moving things,
and I am trying not to drift away.
I think this summer wants to take me.
Do you still weep for me?
The rain seems to stay away.
I have counted twenty-six clouds in the sky.
They have taken the shape of your hands on my skin.
I am shaking-
away,
apart.
My bones fall into one another.
I never ate my greens.
You used to ask me questions about the skin above my ankles.
Do you still think of me?
This summer wants to take me.
When we were sixteen I burned you with the brightly glowing cherry of a cigarette.
You kissed me like water,
like glass,
like breathing.
Can you take me to the place behind the sky?
I want to be a mountain.
I want to grow and grow.
The river used to speak to me.
It said, "Collapse."
It said, "It will only hurt a little."
But I am just a stone.
I still feel like I'm falling.
I was born in July.
Somewhere, people wept.
I came out of my mother kicking and screaming.
I took pieces of her with me.
I think she should have named me
Calamity,
or Chaos,
or Cancer.
Would you have loved me then?
I was not made a good thing.
My eyes are windows,
my mouth a door,
and my heart?
It is but dust.
But ash.
But embers hot on skin.
I burn. I burn. I burn.
I cannot belong to you,
or anyone.
The smell that follows lightening?
That is what I am.
I fade into black.
I fade into nothing.
This is the thing I want to be:
LIGHT.
I want to speak to God.
I want to give him back this anguish-
eighteen years worth.
Would he take this ******, beating thing?
I will ask him this:
Why are we so permanent?
The stuff we are made of-
its sticks to things;
to fingers and minds and memories.
You build me again in your head.
Let me be forgotten.
Let me be-
Let me be-
Let me be light.

I am fascinated with your body
The way your hips sway with mine, and how they line up perfectly
Like the feeling of getting the last puzzle pieces to fit
Your hands hold mine like a newborn baby; so fragile, so soft, so breathtaking
You remind me of a painted sunset with wind dancing across the sky as I lean in to kiss your lips that taste like paint and late nights
You know artists never sleep
and thats why you stay up late, wandering through the streets with me
I know you think a lot, and I hope 90% of it is about me
But I get this feeling like I'm suffocating with my own air, and I can't breathe, because the thought of loosing you, is like the earth without the sun
and I just can't let go
You're my tidal wave of madness, and my sunshine wrapped into one
And I just hope that all of our pieces fit, and that the late nights are spent with me
Putting our puzzle together

Pitter, patter, hum.
Steady beat of a downpour.
Crashing against the Earth.
A sound that can be inhaled.
Then exhaled with a crisp undertone.

I live for these days.
The rhythm growing all around
Climaxing into profound music.
Nature speaks in melodies,
Using harmony to explore the depths.

It comes and goes,
The tingle of raindrops on my skin.
Submerged in the aquatic symphony,
I feel alive, all parts of me vibrate.
As if subconsciously I relay my tune.
A note or two off, a bit rusty.

But I find myself.
Matching the ferocity of the storm,
With subtle beauty.
I mentally capture this moment.
Then screaming at the top of my lungs,
I let it all out, setting it free.

Your mother is sad, Adam.
I bumped into her the other day.
She was walking out of the supermarket
With a dozen wine bottles
Inside of a large paper bag.
And she was just a woman
With a smiling face
And a crying heart
Who was never going to see her son
Again.


F.Z.**N