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someone asked,

“how can you be
so happy,

but still write poetry
like depression
is all you know?”




did it ever occur to you
that maybe

I’m only happy because
I took that depression
out on this paper,

instead of taking it
out on myself?
 Nov 2020 cherriquartz
Mikaela L
After a while, I realized,
My mind was quite aloft,
All the daydreaming, the crying,
The cursing in between dreams,
So bleak, so dark, so tasteless,
So easy to forget, but so notoriously present,
I no longer sleep at night,
Instead, I sleep with my eyes wide open,
In bare daylight,
I marvel at the talent I've cultivated,
Or, at least, at the unspoken ability that,
The little girl that I once was has resorted to,
Just to bear one more day,
Only one more.
Do you daydream as much as I do?
The pains in my belly
Are almost comforting.
Something’s inside down there and you’re creating it.
can you feel her?
She’s in there
Waiting for me,
Waiting for mommy to make up her mind, Waiting for me to use my sense, Waiting for me by handing me the opportunity not to be useless.
Oh baby..
I’m sorry daddy just isn’t happy..
I want you to know that
Mommy just isn’t ready
And mommy would never place a lifetime of harm upon you.
You are the design combined of everything I’ve wanted
and everything I’ve loved.
You’re what I always wanted.
I just can’t bare to give you up...
Mommy will be with you in another life...
a safe place for us to play.
a safe place for you to grow.
I’ll be ready then.
I love you my all
Until we meet again my bean
~ sincerely, a pregnant teen
Such a decision no not based on pride but empathy and reason for another number in our horrid foster system.
I've always desired a Capricorn
Because reading about them
Seemed nice on paper
Until I had crossed a Scorpio
And realized why I never ended up
With a sea goat
Because astrology is written in the stars
And not in your heart
 Nov 2020 cherriquartz
Dawn
𝑰𝒇 𝒘𝒆 𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆, 𝒘𝒆'𝒍𝒍 𝒅𝒊𝒆.
𝑰𝒇 𝒘𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒏, 𝒘𝒆'𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆.
𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒘𝒆 𝒕𝒂𝒌𝒆,
𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆'𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒘𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒔.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒍𝒅 𝒊𝒔 𝒂 𝒄𝒓𝒖𝒆𝒍 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒆,
𝑾𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒏𝒐 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒐 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕.
𝑺𝒐 𝒄𝒉𝒐𝒐𝒔𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇,
𝑾𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓 𝒅𝒆𝒄𝒊𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒕.
this poem is highly inspired on the OVA from my favorite anime, Attack on Titan entitled No Regrets.
His words tremble
His smile is weak
He folds his arms
His actions are bleak

No eye contact
He drags his feet
I hear his inner voice
I hear him weep

He needs a touch
His not asking for much
A stroke through his hair
Cuddles that are sincere

A lap or a chest
A home, a safe nest
A place of care
Someone to wipe his tear....
I'm not perfect,
I know I'll never be.
I still strive for perfection,
Something I'll never have.

Society wants perfection,
Even when it says it doesn't.
Just look at ads,
Movies,
Even vegetables have to look good,
For stores to sell them.

How can anyone or anything ever be good enough when held up against something unachievable?
Something not even the seemingly perfect people have or are,
Something we all know is impossible,
But we have heard that everything is possible,
So some of us never give up,
It will never make us happy
And it will never happen.

The only way is to accept imperfections,
Accept not being perfect,
Accept being you,
Accept being different
And accept life as it is.

I'm not saying give up on your dreams,
I'm saying don't make yourself something you're not,
this ideal that you have in your head that is unattainable,
this person that's so perfect that moving towards it becomes an obsession and addiction towards unhappiness, low selfesteem, depression and never feeling good enough no matter what you do or how hard you try.

I know it's cliche, but love yourself!
 Nov 2020 cherriquartz
chang
my hands are full
and my fingers are breaking
for counting my sins
and all of my flaws.
so i apologize
if couldnt hold myself together.
 Nov 2020 cherriquartz
Brett
But One
 Nov 2020 cherriquartz
Brett
The universe is but one singer
Each of us a song
With lyrics all to our own
The universe is but one painter
Each of us a canvas
Made up of flesh and bone
The universe is but one moment
Each of us a second
Where we make our homes
The universe is but one river
Each of us a current
Carrying the love we deliver
The universe is but one flame
Each of us an ember
Giving light to this domain
Pick me up,
And open my cover,
But be careful,
Cause I might crumble,
Read my fine print,
Just don’t mock the way I am,
I’ve been through alot since then,
Drugs,
Fights,
Heart breaks,
And more,
Are all the things you’ll find,
In my novel.
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