To be real seems like the simplest thing to do
But what if the worst things that you put upon yourself
Occur because of the worst that has already happened?
I'm ready to let bad things happen
I'm ready to stop doing bad things to myself
Isn't that the only way to be good?
I've been making you my god
When all this time you've been the good thing that never happened
I'm not done grieving
I'm ready to receive
The lessons come
Then all you will be is one of them to me
I'm sorry if I forget how good you are
If I forget how amazing we were
I'm sorry if I move on
If only you weren't a ghost to me
If only we were ready to be real
Men don't die of heartbreak
There are only those who give up
I'm one to believe that life is because of will
I will myself to be real
To be no longer lost in the figment of my imagination
To be grander than the scheme
To leave the dreaming behind and live the dream
To feel the wind
To be free
To be real
To be real

Today I write that the women in my hometown
Have the worst habits
They always seem to mince their words
Even if they have the measuring cup
They still can't make the right brew
So my advice is to have the heart
To tell the truth
Even if it hurts the one they love the most
Because they know that deep down inside
I have the worst stinkiest heart of them all
I used to fix my cabinet in order to fix my life
But instead I fix my cabinet in order to have a clean closet
The most I've ever done to become an enemy
Is to tell the truth
About other people
Then in the end I always getting run over by a motorbike
But then even if my old workplace closed down
It hurts to know that my heart is still ouch
Then in the end I have to always figure out a way to break the dishes again
Then tomorrow I will have to figure out what to do next.

-The end

I am averse to having feelings for you
because I think that it is socially unacceptable to have feelings

The end of the aisle had a song
Are you listening to it?
It has all the notes of a painted wall
It has a white wash color to it
It might be a bit on the average side
But the frame keeps it light
Even if she wants to get out she won't
But that's just the half of it

Feeling alone just me and the house
With my couch and my sky
My mop and my floor
My hands and myself
The dog and the door
I haven't got much but I have all this
It's really small if I could close it
The book would end
To be read again

I'm translated in your arms
I'm sufficient in your bed
So much to see in your eyes
Our ennui doesn't gather dust
I love you or I hate you
The end it's just you and me
Despise me or berate you
I know It's always you and me

You are my lust
You are my lust
You are my lust
You are my lust
Translated into love

Let me in your arms
To Stay

I love you or I hate you
The end it's just you and me

The moment he saw the ending of the story
He knew that the best was yet to come
He didn't realize that when he saw it coming
It hit him like a big truck
He took the rest of his guts
And piled them back inside

Desiring material things from this world
Instead of love and passions
Logic trumps everything
Being reasonable heals the mind
From the beating of the heart

The world has less to offer
When you strive for paradise
There’s something about the way
The waves undulate towards me
Coaxing me to die

I don’t like to read books that strain my heart
It would be such a waste of my precious peace of mind
If I even start
The song he’s singing
Helps me get over a heartbreak I’m remembering

I wish I had a lovely home
And a modern body
I get lost in these beautiful things
My brother told me love brings out the worst in us
And I didn't know that until you were dead
Wish I could describe the feeling in my head
Where my eyes are crying no more no more
There’s no heart in here
Instead it’s a bed made of lead
These are the things I hear
The hurtful truths they don’t spare
They are my medicine that daily I ingest

Sign language is a funny thing
I can read it because I can't speak
You can speak it because you can read
I think
You read my face when I needed to see hand signals

Lately my whole life has been about my right hand
I have two hands
Whatever happened to the left?
Why is she so forgotten
How am I supposed to be fair?
So much of this life is lived with two hands
I need to care for the both of them
I know that most people only have 1 major hand
But there is something important about the fact that one does most of the work
While there is so much potential for the other unused hand
Stay golden, hands.

There is a wonder I have of creatures
The sky is ridden with stars
Can they see them?
And do they wonder and awe at the dots on what should be a blank sky

There is a wonder I have of mine
Is their dreaming before the dawn of time?
Are we dreaming in utero?
Who created our dreams?
Was there ever a time we did not exist
Is the past but a figment?

I'm going to go that way
Don't wait for me
Tomorrow I'm touring
The country
You said was boring
I'm not waiting for you
I'm searching for my next heartache
Under the rock
I'll find it
Then we can make amends
My friend
Don't mock me
Until then we can never get along
There's a fork at the end of my road
Nobody tell me where to go
I don't intend to listen now

Recognize me
If I had floral eyes
Reasons to live:
1) New releases
2) Color
3) Cats (Milkshake)
4) Lamps
5) Windows

Your fatigue disguised as longing
My beautiful optimistic friend
Your well-meant foolishness
Kills me
You ridiculous thing
How real are you?
You are like
A mythical creature
With four hearts
Lined up behind each other
Too kind
Too giving
I just might cage you up to change you
For don't you realize
freedom is full of limits?
You're magical, subject to
someone else's cruelties
Unless you dominate us
And make us your children

My untold story needs some legs
To start walking
Because what is it doing wearing dem boots
If it don't start stomping its feet
For all the world to hear?

Its a song written by Jamiraquai
When he treadmills
I get really giggly
And then I explain to my friend seated beside me on the couch
He's walking through life in his walking shoes
Nobody should look at his hats anymore really
Just look at where he's walking

Pedro is a director of cinematography
He has many actresses who ask him if they're doing it right
Sometimes he tells the audience to focus on the background
And imagine a movie that was spoken in another language

The way you hold my hand is like a warm blanket reminding me of home
There is a seriousness to the way you play with my fingers
And the way you look at me, that I have to look away
I know that you're afraid that I might be a trick of the light
Even lightning that might strike twice
Something that you cannot grasp
Although I tell you my blood looks for solid stuff
I myself am made of wisp and air
Here is me being in your lungs as least

There's a saying that goes like a pipedream
Solitary Scream in your mouth
In your bedroom without a doubt
You're convulsing conversations
Time's up
How about your hold on my hand?
How about I give up my will to you always
And then we can hold each others' cheek
Your hair is so nice to my finger gaps
Pray deeply
I don't know much about out loud
But it's the feeling that's real anyhow
How about you go this way
How about we stay the same
The room is closing as the door opens
And nothing has changed
We're still living in a really big cage
I scream as half my body is out the window
And music is playing out the stereo
How about you hold me so I don't fall
How about you accept this ride I'm offering you
I'm learning how to bike
And you're beside me
Suddenly it's reckless nature taking over
The legs are kicking
Pedal down, pedal down
The stationary bike
Taught me better than you did
But nothing taught me a better lesson than you did
The bike is washed up
Rusty, dusty, crusty
And still my heart won't give out
Help yourself until then

Base feelings are monsters that live in my cage
I always draw second
I unveil
Virginity is a useless sacrifice
So, nobody feels uneasy anymore
Oh they know what self-adoration is
Yet, you are all about the crippling spine that needs to jettison out my back. Crack!
Fear is what fuels your 1962's Colt with stolen gasoline
When I ride it I am on the minute
It drops me off on the line of fire
Flames light up in my lungs
You shout "Here are my reasons, understand, see"
That creeping sensation of the ugliest kid in class watching me behind my ear
Makes me horrified
A basket case of emotion
I cannot stress enough
It's the things I do not want to happen
Like resurrecting insects and then killing them again
Nightmare to my time so I stop moving, like, paralyzed
Fearful is the edge of the knife
Peeling back my ***** as I feel its blade cuts thin
Every slice a feeling creeping in
It abuses my skin
Replaced by a shroud of music that I sing to wheedle out
So you can continue to say I "Live in sin, live in sin"
You needed me afraid, so I became brave
You needed me small, so I became big

Accept that only the good die young
And the rest of us are here to stay
I think I can cry in public
Make you see me cry
Whole and free you can tuck me in
Your shirt pocket is my home
You can place down the picture of my brother
While we don't know how to love
I take it off too quickly
For you I would refrain from mistakes
I would become what you make of me
Style and sauce from my lips
Hell and fury is our friend and fortune-maker
Sorry for being your good girl
They say that mistakes are meant to be lessons
I'm learning how fun they are to repeat
I'm still learning how to kick it
Swinging like a child
I don't know how to be right
Just a single shot thrown back at my life

it's good for me, love
it makes me beautiful
It's good for me
It gives me a look of glowing health
I look at you with love
Because I want to receive what I give
Even if you don't give it back
I have already taken by projecting
I have projected unto you
The person you wish to love
I am perfected in your eyes
I am molded using perception
It's true, it may sound selfish
But love is not for us
It's supposed to be good for me
Before it can be good for anyone

Pray for peace
For control is not within the hands of one
But the hands of many
Compete with yourself
Do not be ashamed of your sins
Have sympathy for those who are dying
For those who have had their youth kidnapped from them
Always pray
Praying is not just for the religious
It's for those who need to ask themselves to be strong
So they can go on
There is something sad about today
Maybe it's the fact that
My country is one ***** loose from falling apart
And all we can resort to is discussing politics
Uninspiring topics that are meaningless
We should be discussing about what inspires us
About how great old songs are on our trips home from work
But new songs are like cold showers to wake us up

What makes me feel alive
Is forgetting I need to impress anybody
To forget that I am surrounded by con-artists
To be a joy to others
Because I am a joy to myself
I don't always succeed
Sometimes we can be insufferable
I know I can be an unapologetic *****
But I can be sorry for those times

Since I was young
I was always passionate
Where has my fire gone?
Is it out?
So I pray for peace
I pray for myself
I pray for self-control
For control over my weaknesses
And to have freedom to use my strengths
Without fear of judgement
I am not inconsequential because I choose to live a life that is enough
I am just content to be happy with enough

When the little that you know
Creeps into your head
You need the world to stop
Dead on it's tracks
In order for your kiss to reach him

Progressive lipstick
for the standstill
woman

She slips into
people

I have no way of knowing
If it's now that I'm going to fall
Who knows when the gravity pushed me down
Or did it pull me toward the floor with a shadow shaped like me?
I have no idea how long before it hits me
Or is it me who hits it?
I don't know any of these
I have no way of knowing
If it's going to hurt
Who knows what I've broken
Or how many times I will say sorry
Even if it was accidental
This is all because of someone
This is all because accidents are always blamed on someone
It isn't always my fault
But it always will be a contact of two sorts
The kind that brings people together
The other kind that takes people apart
Please grace me with the kindness
To love
Or be still my heart, still

This is the day I turn into a woman
Nothing has changed outwardly
I still look the same
Many will say she seems at peace
Most will say she seems at ease
But all will see and say nothing
When I see somebody whole and free
I usually let them be

Bad influences
Something about you that I like
Comforting meanness
I'm usually honest
My point is blunt
The point faces me
Bad influences
Something about you that I'd hike
Could be your tall frame
Your face is seamless
I'm usually brash
My point uncalled for
I called myself out

I thought I had a plan
You taught and then swam
Towards the edge of the world
Cause I could never get there

Ignorance of the good
Sadly is just food
Empty bread no man can eat
Empty words no man can ****

My eldest sister hit me with pillows to make me fall asleep
I took her book Anne of Green Gables (A super fast talking red head)
Striked her name from the dedication and replaced it with my own
Bye Big Sister
Thank you for the pillows

I wear my heart on my sleeve
I don't understand
Why I'm so happy
Listening to your whining
Punk rock chiming
In my earphones
I would listen to you yawning
If it meant the next step
Would entail our skins touching

Many years have passed
Since I first felt someone's goodness
That slow enveloping of your smile around my body
Your well-intended words creeping its way to my mind
I was so naive
Believing it was the real thing
I cannot be that way again
Because love does not bring out the best in us alone
It does not caress our cheek or make me smitten with smiling eyes
Love brings out the worst in people, most of all
Many years have passed
You're soft hand on my hair is fondly remembered
Soon it will be 8
And I have only finally made sense of it now
You did the worst possible thing to me
And I am being the worst possible way I could be
Although now I understand
That between the two of us
Only I am given choice
And you have spent all of yours

The rose bud is tired
It had a beautiful fly
Then a soil let it be

To the moments that push me back when I could have gone full-******
To the times when I refrained from spending the only money I had on something as frivolous as seeing you say hi
Somewhat the best antidote to stupidity is shaking my head no and waving a polite goodbye
So if I seem like I'm thinking about you alot
You may say I'm yes-ing and no-ing to you alone
Because I'm already broke
And you make me feel, like buying more time with you by saying yes
Since yes may mean an Amen to You
Even I know, No is much more exciting
No is harder
No is rougher
No is sexier
No has repercussions
No I am not interested in this superficial interaction because your space smells so much like you and I want to dig my face into your hair
So I'm sorry
No

I mean, Yes please.

Yes, I would like some coffee, please.
Yes, I would like to have a conversation, please.
Yes, I would like to fight my dad so I can borrow money to spend around your space, please.

It's not infinitely cool that wins anyone, though.
It's the finitely present, that gets their attention.

Let me think about how much I haven't said anything really thoughtful to myself
But I have said more thoughtful things to you than the one fixing my bed.
I have seen myself kinder because there are people who have a nurturing way to them that makes us want to be them.
And I know I am spicy and not sweet
But
If I could be that type of person.
I would make sure I had it easier for me to say
Yes
Please.

Memory is a watery element
It has qualities of flexibility
But memory is also a storm
If you remember your plants can grow
Stay indoors when your memory floods you
Stay dry
Stay good
Please don't forget your umbrella
Or you'll start dancing in the rain
Which is alright too

Being Young
Is like a windy day with a cloudy sky
The years seem to never catch my fancy
And the soil doesn't remind of anything
Thinking Young
The remnants of memories are so precious to me
Many years have gone and I still don't want to forget
Many times I want to take it with me
Seeing the Young
They run so fast and free
The weight of their body seems unnatural and unsteady
The soil feels different in my hands
It's *****. (She feels her youth, it's gone away.)
And the pictures make me smile and cry
I never thought they would be the lasting images
Of times I'd only see again today
I am 24 going 25
And I feel no weight from my life
The sleep is uninterrupted by harshness
It is something I do not wish upon myself
I think my father prayed for my happiness
And although I have not lived
I am accustomed to only one way of life
I sometimes cry
About light matters
Yes, death and suicide and separation
These are on my mind
But nothing is worse than a poem
That is somebody else's poem
That is written by a life unprepared for greatness
Unless I desire for fullness of life
Adventure will need to come to me
And I will always bemoan over being the victim
So let me not be a victim
Of my own lazy-***
How about we see what's out there, at last
It may not be a jungle I will cut through
Or I may not discover a rare exotic butterfly
But I know adventure is the game to join
Stay with a friend
Gird your *****
And fall in love
It's not about living the best life
But living when you see your worst side
How can you know yourself
If you've never finished the race
Or gone through a crowded place
Where the music is loud
And your friends are jerks
The drinks are cheap
And your life feels steep
Standing close to someone
And the next morning
Looking at him sleep
Hold your heart
Hold your breath
I will write my life
This lightweight life
It will unravel
It's a game of patience and action
I'd like to know who can win a hand
And cross a violent river
I will choose this life
And this life will chew me out
It will spit me out
And I will hold a hand
Frayed at the end
The hand will be old and wrinkly
The hand can be small and strong
But there will be no hand at all
If I don't do this for you
I will do anything to be with you
Life will not happen to me
Because I will happen to life

Invent
discover possibilities
Create
The rules are yours to bend and break
Blindly love
The unseen beauty
Never fake
An opinion
I was a 4 year old
balding ferns
It was serene
I could learn
For forever