I saw your face today
No I didn't get sad or anything.
I got angry because I know you saw me too.
You saw my moms car and looked the other way, biting your nail as you do.
I know it was you.
It wasn't your truck,
But I'd know that green ballcap anywhere.
Because I'd steal it every time we were together.
I'd know that God awful plad shirt anywhere
It was and if your only nice shirt
You always wore it all nice and tucked in on dates
So don't text me once you stumble upon this and say it wasn't you
Because I may be sick with terrible eyes
But I always know when I see you.

I never thought I'd see the day
When words fail me and I walked away
But the clouds have parted and the moss has dried
And I can still remember
*Once, you were mine.

When will I see, you
Only ever talk to me
When you are lonely?

Once you leave you may never return
For my heart has learned your scorn
And she wishes not to gaze upon your face
She does not wish you well or harm
But she will enlist you to her list of worn
Those who have belittled her and sought her anger
She is not the same as you found her.

He checked my wrists and thighs
He checked my stomach and my sides
He checked and said "Let me see if you've been cutting again"

He gave no warning.
No sign that he was going to do this in the last hour that I faced him.
He looked me up and down, eyes more serious than I've ever seen
I couldn't help but feel embarrassed that I let him down once before
I was embarrassed I relapsed and he was there to see me unravel.

"I've been good"
"I've been good"
"I've been good"
I felt like a child, repeating the sentence over and over
Our friends continuously asking what I meant and he simply says
"It's nothing."
But in his eyes I could see
To him it meant everything

So he checked
He checked my wrists and thighs
He checked my stomach and my sides
He hugged me tight and whispered softly
*"Please stay good, I love you to much to lose you like that."

We're all addicted to something,
That takes the pain away.
I'm addicted to cigarettes,
And dancing in the rain.
The cigarette will numb my brain,
And the rain will numb my blood.
So when I cut my skin wide open,
I don't feel a single one.

Cigarette smoke burns my throat
And the alcohol numbs my blood
but when I pick my razor up
I start slicing till I'm gone.
And when I'm tired
And when I'm done
I won't feel
A single one

Day 1: I want to tear my skin off. My heart is beating so fast i can barley breathe. I feel so filthy.
Day 2: I can't believe this. I don't want to be here. Why did this happen? Why did I let this happen?
Day 5: I guess I drank too much and my friends were to drunk to stop me.
Day 10: I can't face my friends, I can't live my life.
Week 3: No one knows. He hasn't said a word.
Week 6: It happened again, I was sleeping and he did it again. Why did I stay the night? Why didn't I go straight home?
Week 7: He left and kissed me goodbye. I don't know how to feel.
Week 10: My life's out of control, I can't believe whats happening.
Month 5: My boyfriend knows. But not all details. Just thinking about it, makes me want to take a shower.
Month 8: I finally came clean to my friends. They're appalled. They hate him now. I still feel filthy. I can't get his smell off my body still.
Month 11: The anniversary is soon. What am I going to do?
Year 1: I haven't spoken to him in months. I haven't thought about it in days. I still feel as if hes on top of me, why can't I wash him away?

Its an uphill battle with myself and others. Some days I can't get out of bed or even feel like breathing.
But I try not to let him get to me. Because if he sees my weakness from what hes done,
He's won.

Once I show you the scars on my wrists,
Can I trust you with the wounds on my heart?
Once you see who I was,
Can you handle the person I will become?
Once you hold me in your arms,
Can you ever bare lay a hand on me?
Once you hear me cry,
Could you bare to be the reason for my tears?
Once you see me broken,
Could you piece me back together?

She's like broken glass,
Shattered all across the living room rug,
And a smell of whiskey on her edges,
And stained on the floor.
She's in pieces and she can't really explain who's fault it is
Or whose broken her this time.
She'll wait for the next person to try to heal her,
Take the glue to her pieces and place something wrong and she'll lash out.
Her body was made of glass,
You could see right through her.
Every lie was followed by another drink,
Another shot,
Another sip
She'd continue to fill her cup until she overflowed and broke even more
But she'll try to mend her heart and body to no avail.
She'll never let them know who hurt her.
Because she was the one
Who trusted
Too much