I have a crystal both darker and lighter,
Just gleaming; like illuminated sparkling
Beaded droplets of water, with a healing top.
I hold it to my chest though
And it seems faint, almost
As thou all that light and energy
Is just for the eyes; it's vibrant heart feels lost.
There is a black and white pouch
In my box, so I get it out to put the crystal in,
As if for safety while it is still healing.
This stone with so much beauty
Yet seemingly vague, you'd think
It was meant just for the eyes,
So very empty. Like soft rain, the color of
Every rainbow comes from the skies light,
Yet you can feel oh so silent and lonely.
Maybe I could find a place for this stone,
Perhaps I'll put it with green and gold
So it wont seem so empty, so alone...

In the early morning we knelt down,
And in the cool damp kindergarten classroom air,
The whole place bustled with so much sound
As all the children gathered there.
It was then the birds flew in and out
Between the bushes, through small holes,
During days we learned what their music was about
When we sang and laughed with giddy souls.
In the end we'd pronounce our letters dot our i's
And in the afternoon paint while warmed by the sun,
The golden birds one by one flew by,
And in the end our masterpieces were done.
I would come back with brightly cheerful eyes
Each step I'd take up the driveway so joyful, home.
I made a painting in class that day, it got 1st prize,
It was a painting of a sun and birds of my own.

Above and beyond the clouds of my endless sky,
I found a "small challenge" to finding my sweet,
She'd gone away to College and found a cute guy,
This is the reason each day I do not happily greet.

My joy is an illusion, I hide myself from the pain,
I beat this image out of my mind again and again and
Again. But still it returns-her and him-hell I've not even
Seen his face but I can imagine mine like a dismal disgrace.

I confess to the world I am a failure at best,
I had your hand, your heart but failed your test,
And now I am put back in my box to rust and to rot,
To be happy at the bottom is worse than sad at the top.

I remember lying there in the greenish sleeping bag,
Staring up at the wooden ceiling with all the dust,
The cobwebs sway in slightest amounts of air,
And falling asleep slowly, the loft so full of must.
This sinking sensation comes over me and I can see
A dark shadow in the other room, it moves across the
Doorway and looks as I call out for someone anyone
And in panic I have a total feeling of doom.

But this is just the beginning, I wake up in beads of sweat,
Is this really my life or dream, have I truly woken up yet...?

This story I hear tell of a man across the halls,
Who would walk toward the other side
At half past 12 at night as my friend recalls,
A dark visage, a shadowy veil, came out
When the daylight would subside.
The story as I recall keeps me up sometimes,
He had no eyes, again I repeat, you could see right
Through his eyes!

I never meant to hurt you, I always
Try and try. But my tears fell
On and on, That day I withered and
I died. You must know by now,
If all I say is I DO, That I need
Your hand in mine, for I do
I DO LOVE YOU...
I feel something hurt you,
But I know I don't Mean to.
I will fill your life with
Rabbits and sweets because
That is what would please you.
Don't forget I do feel this way,
Every day. I don't feel my emotions
Very well any more...I always cried.
I can't really cry much.
I will still be there for you-
Through ALL the years.... sigh.
It will last forever. I will see
You soon. I see you meant no harm, to.