no rules,
pheromones, coffee & *******, at midnight,
killing common sense, just to feel alive, & live life,
but in my defense, I’m not having kids, I’m not a common guy,

& all that averageness, well I’m not having it,
I’m a picnic, that’s missing some sandwiches,
driving high with one headlight in a Hyundai with bad handling,
one hand out the window with one finger to The Establishment,

had it together Once Upon a Time In Hollywood,
then lost my mind like Brad Pitt, not exactly sure where it went,

got a few screws loose, yet still manage to handle stuff,
plus the fact that my head is too loose is taken advantage of,
by some thoughts inside that’re about to make their escape,
subtracting erratic additives & adding eccentric adjectives up,

wish to stay organized, even had a list in order to prioritize,
but lost the list & forgot whatever it was that was on it...

from THHT3 The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available now here: www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJRBSKD

also if you'd like a copy for FREE I'm giving away the kindle version of the book to every person that messages me directly and/or comments on this post in the next 24 hours. ∆

Screen Crack [16]

Jesus!

What the fck,
wait, Jesus,  has nothing to do with this,

your hands glued to the latest PDA device,
hands glued along with your eyes,
seems you cling to your PDA  for dear life,
like it’s as important as a TAH, what’s a TAH look it up,

it’s a Total Artificial Heart,
you are the “art” in artificial,
since when did Personal Displays of Affection PDAs,
get replaced with Personal Digital Assistants,

no way phones could be the new PDAs I can’t accept that,
oh well I guess it’s the perfect sign of the times,
people used to show affection & kiss in public,
now they don’t even notice & the only kisses given are emojis,

no romance they don’t even hold hands show love or show up,

would rather ******* in silence than deal with this,
& maybe that makes me part of the problem,
see I could go out & try to socialize but I stay inside instead,
& don’t even mind ‘cause most people aren’t worth the stress,
plus it’s been so long since I’ve been in a relationship,
if I met someone I wouldn’t even know what to say anyways,
we replaced Empathy with Apathy eye contact with iPhones,
now we’re all bored Cyborgs & alienated Androids,

we keep avoiding each other instead of enjoying each other,  we keep assuming we are annoying each other,
which prevents us from successfully joining each other,
so we effectively self isolate ourselves from one another,

one step closer to an Anti-Social New World Order New Age,
every time we become afraid & walk away instead of engage,

would rather scatter than talk to someone,
in a way that could be construed as rude,
so we just walk-on & ignore every single someone,
even though one of those someones is you,

in the Narcissistic Network of this Sociopathic Society,
where the only certainty is that this cycle of denial is ******,
what the fck, totally stuck, mind fckt & ******,
into that lil cancer causing PDA your hot little hands hold,

Steve Jobs got cancer,
you think that’s a random freakin’ coincidence,
people that work with electronic devices their whole lives,
get sick & this is not just a few examples of isolated incidents,

it’s not a rumor that consumers get tumors from electronics,

even Stevie Wonder could see how Stevie Jobs got sick,
died in his mid 50’s alone & in bed thin as a stick,

all those billions couldn’t save him,
so what makes you think you’ll survive,
why should I care how you live if you don’t care how you die,
think you’re saving time on that portable electronic device,
but you’re living a lie wasting your life not saving your time,
because no one ever regrets spending less on screen time,
but people often regret not spending more time,
in nature attention undivided with loved ones by their side,
before they die, going to do you a favor, save you the trouble,
of spending your whole life chasing things on a digital screen,
I’m going to quote Steve Jobs’s last words here,
so you can start making changes now before it’s too late.

“I have come to the pinnacle of success in business.
In the eyes of others, my life has been the symbol of success.
However, apart from work, I have little joy. Finally, my wealth is simply a fact to which I am accustomed.
At this time, lying on the hospital bed & remembering all my life, I realize all the accolades & riches of which I was once so proud, have become insignificant with my imminent death.
In the dark, when I look at the green lights, of the equipment for artificial respiration, feel the buzz of their mechanical sounds, I can feel the breath of my approaching death looming over me.
Only now do I understand that once you accumulate enough money for the rest of your life, you have to pursue objectives that are not related to wealth.
It should be something more important:
For example, stories of love, art, dreams of my childhood.
No, stop pursuing wealth, it can only make a person into a twisted being, just like me.”…

See, now you’ve heard it directly from a genius,
so there you go don’t say I didn’t tell you so,
still you hear the final words of a brilliant billionaire,
& instead if take his advice you say “Who cares?”,

& that is actually a serious question, who cares?

Probably not me or you so why would we heed a warning,
no matter how wise the words were that were wrote,
we’re too busy trying to find fake treasures on Pokemon Go,
or read the latest news or scroll the latest posts,

seems all those Apples & Androids, have made us apathetic,
bit the forbidden fruit, in The Garden of Electronic Eden,
**** streaming has replaced actual ***, it takes less effort,
exchanged intimacy for IoT, replaced *** with EMFs,

no ******* just internet no farmer’s markets on weekdays,
just products on eBay & freebased sympathy that’s synthetic,
so we don’t feel the vibration of our brothers & sisters,
we just feel the vibration of our phones in our pocket,
we don’t notice the signs of our civilization in decline,
we just notice our phone’s notifications when they go off,

see the more connected we become to the virtual world,
the less connected we become to the actual world,

& I’m having a melt down,
witnessing everyone on their cell phones,
& I want to find a reason to believe in a real person to love,
but I feel like hope is gone & we’re all just lost without a home,
& I’m just as guilty as the rest of us,
‘cause I’m often also lost in the zone on my phone like a drone,

& I’m not religious but maybe we really do need Jesus,
maybe I really do need Jesus,
what the fck, wait,
Jesus,  has nothing to do with this,

a whole new generation of users has been created,
through the use of new additions of cell phones & laptops,
& some of the users are as young as 8 years old,
computers are the new & improved evolution of crack rock,
but family’s are so used to their kids using that they just shrug,
even though their kids are so addicted that they can’t stop,

some even enable kid’s addiction by buying them new editions,

cracked screens from dropping your phone,
gives you a minor heart attack,
oh how attractive cancer seems when it’s attractively wrapped,
in the form of an impersonal personalized phone case artifact,

Silver, Gold or Grey, SnapChat is the new black.

What the fck, hands glued to the latest PDA device,
hands glued along with your eyes,
seems you cling to your PDA  for dear life,
like it’s as important as a TAH, what’s a TAH, look it up,

look up look up,
you are alive in a body on these beautiful lands,
mathematically a 1 in 400 trillion chance of being born,
you’re literally the most amazing miracle you could ever have!

There’s a whole world out there,
please find someone to get to know & love,
because there’s probably someone right next to you right now,
that’s willing to give you their all & it’s obvious,

all you have to do to see is set down your phone & look up!
If you’d only just look up!

But, you’re too busy playing Pokemon Go to notice love,

I know, we’re part of a 1st World society,
& we all play our part by being passively compliant,
in order to be an accessory to our country’s atrocities,
so we get dressed up with the latest techno accessories,

I know,
you don’t want to think about it too much,
because then you might feel guilty, so you stay out of touch,
keeping your head down like you’re mourning a lost love,
there’s an actual psychological condition for this,
Cognitive Dissonance is what it’s called,

so you stay on your phone, not wanting to get involved,
because it’s easier to simply not feel,
won’t even make eye contact just want to be left alone,
because you’re conditioned to fear anything that’s real,

insecure & scared of the unknown you cling to your phone,

even though,
it’s the things we’re most comfortable with that usually **** us,
cars cigarettes alcohol cell phones,
I’m telling you addiction to technology is a serious illness,

as we begin to decay into a mediated medicated mental illness.

Do you even remember,
what you did on your phone yesterday,
do you even remember,
what you did with your emotions yesterday,
do you even remember,
when the last time was you felt real emotions,
do you even remember,
the last time you did anything to help the world?

What is there left to believe in when nothing feels right?

Feels like,
we are losing touch with everything that makes us human,
emotions experienced in artistic expressions are leaving,
we have no attention span & cyborg robots do most thinking,

as we steadily slip into an artificial abyss remember this,

I Love You,

& it scares you when I tell you,
like all real emotions scare you,
& then I tell you I want to take that phone you hold,
& throw it into the ocean,
& you finally look up from your phone after all this time,
stare me in the eyes glare & say, “How dare you!”,
like you’re defending your phone,
as if it’s a part of your very existence you were born with,
like you’d hate a fellow animated human,
for destroying an inanimate object, that’s the Devil’s trick,
because when we’ve lost all emotions only hatred lingers,
desperate I’ll take hatred over nothing if that’s all that’s left,

& I’m the biggest hypocrite of all,
because I say all this about technology,
but here I am writing these words on this laptop,
& offering advice but not offering apologies,

maybe I’ll really realize someday,
when someone shakes me & wakes me from my digital daze,
either that or when I’m all alone about to go home in the sky,
on that death bed quoting the last words of Steve Jobs,

“Stop pursuing wealth, it can only make a person into a twisted being, just like me…”,

Wow.

Can you hear me now?

No you probably still don’t hear me,
because you’re likely on your phone reading this right now,

your hands glued to the latest PDA device,
hands glued along with your eyes,
seems you cling to your PDA  for dear life,
like it’s as important as a TAH, what’s a TAH look it up…

∆ LaLux ∆

poem #16 from THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available worldwide here: www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJRBSKD

I wanted to say something with some significance urgently,
but like usual, I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
washing my words down unwillingly with plural rounds,
of complimentary shots from the open bar,

she didn’t even notice, because, as usual she was,
stuck on her phone, serving it more than it served her,

I wanted to remind her urgently, that I was there,
that she was there as well, that we were there,
I wanted to remind her urgently, to remember the memories,
before they were permanently gone, & forgotten forever,

lost in the sands of time, stuffed in the depths of our minds,
gone like skeletons in closets, faded like colors in sunsets, washed away like sand castles by the sea,
she was only ever there during ***,

only then would our souls connect & our eyes meet,
only then would she be present, without interference,
& our *** was the best, no debate, carnal yet caring,
physical yet spiritual, gentle yet rough, selfless yet selfish,

still as good as the *** was, I wanted more,
I wanted more of her, I wanted more of her there with me,

for I felt that all too familiar feeling of impermanence,
that this too would pass, as everything does,
that we too wouldn’t last & that time was our nemesis,
this gave me anxiety & anguish, so bad I wanted to speak up,
but I just clammed up, I bit my tongue, swallowed my words,
& swept all these underlying emotions under the rug,

see we were doing good, good enough to not make a scene,
or at least it seemed, & I didn’t wish to mess things up for us,

didn’t wish to arouse her inner child,
for that child was fierce, that child was a terror,
that child could be sweet but also bitter,
that child was sometimes a dream, but mostly a nightmare,

life is, sometimes a dream, but, mostly a nightmare,
so I didn’t make current waves, I just rode surfer waves,
as we rode in Uber cars, driven by newer slaves,
wanted nothing more for us than a way to escape,

wanted nothing more from her, nothing except her time,
how silly am I, to want the only thing that money can’t buy,

I wanted to say something with some significance urgently,
but like usual, I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
washing my words down unwillingly with plural rounds,
of complimentary shots from the open bar,

after a decent amount of time, maybe a few months,
I finally spoke, words which to this day I still regret,
words that would set in motion our end,
even though I didn’t know it yet,

I said,

“You love that phone more than you love me, so I’m leaving!”,
this sentence, like all the most hurtful sentences are,
was made up of a combination of truth, anger, & passion,
was made out of a sense of desperation, hatred, & love,

& I don’t know if you can actually witness a heartbreak,
but if you can, if you can witness & actually recognize it,
then I saw her heart break in that moment,
& it signified the beginning of our end catalyzing,

her heart broke for all the reasons a heart breaks,
she felt betrayed, attacked, misunderstood, & neglected,
she felt she had given me her everything & that I rejected it,
that I’d disrespected it & worst of all felt I didn’t detect it,

there were no tears, there was no explanations,
no reaction, no pleading, no reasoning,
there were only misinterpreted intentions for no reason,
& an escalation of arguments used as excuses for our abuses,

the truth is, I loved her,
more than any girl before, or any girl after,

but you know what they say,
you never really miss what you have until it’s gone,
you never really miss who you have until they’re gone,
you never get a chance to say goodbye once they’re gone,

“c’est la vie” life goes on, even when account’s overdrawn,
morally bankrupt, we broke up, as most couples eventually do,
going our separate ways with severed ties & broken hearts,
each of us holding separate parts of each other’s lies & truth.

We went cold turkey, no calls, no emails, no text.

We didn’t speak for months, still I thought about her every day.

It’s strange how close someone can feel,
even when they are so far away,
it’s strange how far someone can feel,
even when they are right there with you,
sometimes I feel closer to someone, when they are not there,
if you love someone let them go,
the heart only grows fonder with time,
& if they return some day you know that they’re there to stay.

One day, I don’t remember the exact day, I called her,
craving to hear her soft tones in my ears once more,
to my surprise she answered, “Who’s this?”
“It’s me.”, I replied to remind her,
there was a long pause,
“Oh, my Love, it’s been months!” she exclaimed excitedly,
months in this city can feel like years,
“So good to hear from you Babe, can I text you later?”,
the sentence didn’t make sense,
I didn’t desire another text conversation,
I desired to hear her voice, to see her face,
still, it had been months,
& I didn’t want to scare her off with overt emotions,
it’s a strange time when people are scared of love letters,
I wanted to tell her,
that time is passing faster than any of us realize,
that life is too short,
to not spend every living moment with someone you love,
that we should be celebrated as miracles,
not neglected as mistakes to be ignored,
I wanted to say something so bad, but like usual,
I just bit my tongue & swallowed my words,
reminding me of all those nights we’d spent at the bar,
so in order not to startle her I only said “Ok.”,
she said, “Thanks!”, & we both hung up our phones,
thinking she wouldn’t text back, & I’d again be left alone,

to my surprise, she called me that same night,
& confessed she loved my madly,
& that us being together in this world of wrong,
seemed like the only thing that felt right anymore,

so we made a plan, to have dinner the next day,
& every moment in anticipation, felt like forever to wait,

we were to meet at this little bistro on Sunset,
I arrived a bit early just in case & shot her a text,
she texted me back instantly saying she was on her way,
felt as eager sitting there as a high school kid on his first date,

to my shock & surprise she stood me up, at first I was upset,
until I learned that in her defense it wasn’t her fault,
see she’d died in a car crash on Crescent Heights & Sunset,
cause of death a text she was sending me before she crashed,

in that last moment, she’d sent me a text that was never sent, & I later found out when I read it that this is what it said,

“Baby I love you, sorry I’m late, I’m on my way, see you soon.”.

& we’re still waiting,  
but now the tables have turned,
now she’s waiting for me to get off my phone,
& come back home.

So I send this message to her in Heaven in hopes it’s received,
“Baby I love you, sorry I’m late, I’m on my way, see you soon.”..

∆ LaLux ∆

Poem #55 from the best selling poetry book
THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available here: www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJRBSKD

Okay okay alright, I give up, you win, I surrender,
I’m waiving the white flag, I’ve had enough, need to sit down,
I’m folding the cards in my hands, laying them on the table,
wiping the sweat off my forehead then throwing in the towel,
been running so long legs’re about to give out want to give up,
& I don’t know how but I’m totally open to figuring it out,

relinquishing resentments, adopting pups, & releasing doves,
reducing defenses, developing myself for receiving the love,
needing some hugs, making amends, making out, & making up,
ready to give it all up right now, cuddle up & do snuggle stuff,
just to be fully present for you directly, for us, stepping up,
& I know this ADHD makes it difficult to focus,
but babe you know I’m dedicated to making it work out,
yes my mind gets easily divided at times but love will overcome,
I’ll tame my mind it can be undivided when in your presence,
until my death which will likely come when least expected,
like so many other legends that have passed away suddenly,
probably in a plane crash or other similar event wreckage,

RIP Aaliyah, once gone can’t Try Again,
RIP JFK, probably our only real president,
RIP Otis Redding,
show some R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Try A Little Tenderness,
RIP Rocky Marciano,
KO’d after the plane dove on his 46th birthday,
RIP Buddy Holly, RIP Ritchie Valens,
both died on the same plane, so gone, so long La Bamba,

the Brightest Lights always cast the Darkest Shadows,
the brighter the light the darker the hues,
it’s the 4th of July we’re on a lake in Chile,
enjoying the company & enjoying the views,
post solar eclipse glory letting go of any lingering regrets,
though I do wish She were here,
they say heartbreak makes the best art,
but I don’t know if the effects are worth the burn I feel,

only here for a moment, so tell me why you came,
want to love liberated, but still inside my self built cage,
you possess priority in my life, your impression left indentions,
& I’m still trying to learn, how to show non ****** affection,
but it’s difficult when you’ve been abused,
it’s different when you’ve never felt love that was pure,
so I’m still working on it all or nothing, it’s up to you to choose,
if you’re willing to work with me until I’m cured I’m yours,

Okay okay alright, I give up, you win, I surrender,
I’m waiving the white flag, I’ve had enough, need to sit down,
I’m folding the cards in my hands, laying them on the table,
wiping the sweat off my forehead then throwing in the towel,
been running so long legs’re about to give out want to give up,
& I don’t know how but I’m totally open to figuring it out…

∆ LaLux ∆

poem #80 from THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available worldwide here:
www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJRBSKD

... Give me one reason to stay here,
& I’ll turn right back around,
said I don’t want to leave you lonely,
you’ve got to make me change my mind now,
give me one reason to stay here, & I’ll turn right back around,
& no money won’t help not at all not in any amount,
I’m past possessions & almost past The Point of No Return,
so at this point I see no point in turning back now,

like Tracy Chapman, Bruce Wayne Batman, or Tracy Morgan, like the Joker, Heath Ledger, Edgar Poe, or Captain Morgan,

or a Spacey Captain,
or a **** Batman ready for action,
just not actually Kevin Spacey,
we all know what happened,

we can imagine, so there’s no need for a reenactment,

I know I’m handsome,
thanks for the compliment, I’m flattered,
but not interested, ‘cause I just don’t find guys that attractive,
so quit the harassment & passive aggressive temper tantrums,

& quit asking for a dance,
you already have your answer,
I only give straight facts fam,
don’t know those fake strangers,

don’t need the gold you try to coax me with, soul’s platinum,
not a flash in the pan scam, I scan more than you can imagine,
hindsight 20/20 vision, I read the whole thing backwards,
from the final ending, to lights camera action,

gone till November,
leaving on a jet plane to Denver,
more Tracy Chapman than Tracy Morgan,
more Jon Wayne than Jon Denver,
more Honcho than Jon Doe, more Pronto than Macho,
more Brando than Tonto, full throttle no turning back now,

won’t back down,
feel most alive in times when I almost die,
the real thing, we vroom vroom we do don’t try try,
no need to try to live this life when you really live that life,

why sail the high seas when you can reach Heaven & fly?

Living The Life of Lives, living The Dream of Dreams,
one dream at a time, lucidly asking,  “What do you mean?”,

I mean, for real, for really real, how do you really feel? ...

continued in poem #74 in
THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3 available here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XJRBSKD

...so strong she was,
for being so delicate,
I asked her how her molestations had happened,
so she could express herself & maybe make some sense of it,

she said she didn’t exactly know,
I asked her if she’d ever gone to the police,
she said definitely no, I asked her why not,
& what she said next seriously surprised me,
she said she never wanted to get the men in trouble,
because she felt sorry for the guys,
as much as they’d abused her,
she had pity for them & always tried to empathize,

this hit me like the heaviest of epiphanies, tears hit my eyes,

she said she’d talked to each one,
after they’d done what they’d done,
she talked to her father,
& also to her grandfather,
she told them she understood it wasn’t their fault,
they had a perverse disease that became a problem,
or more specifically a distorted sickness,
& that this cycle had to stop no there was no other option.

THIS CYCLE HAS TO BE STOPPED.

I shouldn’t have to be the voice for these girls,
& be the one that talks about ****,
she shouldn’t have to share these secrets with me secretly,
because these things shouldn’t happen in the first place,

but this is not a world of should’ves’ & could’ves’,
this is a world of exacts,
this is a world of loud brags & silent abuses,
& I’m sick of this sickness what’s wrong with us?...

excerpt from poem #32 of THHT3: The Hollywood Hills Trilogy 3
available worldwide 9/9/19 here: www.amazon.com/dp/1950780023

∆ Aaron LaLux ∆