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You were the light of my life
If only sunburns where amnesia
I'm gulping down these memories
Like i'm not in a desert
Like you're still here.
 Aug 2017 Cloudy Heart
Ray
THE BEST
 Aug 2017 Cloudy Heart
Ray
Just because I wish nothing but the best for you, it does not mean that I was not the best for you
It means, you were not the best for me.
 Aug 2017 Cloudy Heart
Rae
Bursting
 Aug 2017 Cloudy Heart
Rae
She sees a reflection
in a blank wall.
She feels a memory
through the touch of her toes
to the carpet.
A blank wall of nothing
is showing
a flurry of somethings.
For not even a wall can be blank.
Every nick to the surface,
every dried paint bubble,
every scar on the wall
tells a story.
That is why she sees
herself reflected
in the wall.
Because nothing is blank.
Everything that seems like nothing
is something.
Every person who seems blank
is filled
with life.
You say I'm running from myself
I guess you're right
Maybe I am
All I know is that the reason
I hear my heartbeat so clearly
Is because my chest is hollow

I am made up of layers
Too many layers
As if my skin
Was preparing to survive
Out in dead winter at the South Pole

I'm annoying
  I'm distrustful

    I'm stubborn
       And I'm doubtful

           And secretive

Maybe downright manipulative

   But most of all I'm exhausted

Exhausted of the nothingness
   That I float around in
Exhausted of everything
  That comes and goes
    Ensuring chaos
Exhausted of everything and nothing
  And all things in between
         Exhausted of
                     **living
Too tired to live too important to die, guess the story keeps repeating doesn't it?
(Front page 8/14/17)
I'll undress myself, undress all my coats,
undress all my fears, strip to my sheer.
I'll show you but will you want to see ?
what will your thoughts be to my naked, unadorned alive,
will you look around or will you hold your gaze,
as layer by layer i unfold myself,
strip myself down to my bare, undrunk skin,
will you still call me poetry as i take you on a tour of my anatomy,
will you explore all my fissures or stay gauging at the first shortfall,
will you understand the traces of my wounds,
the wounds not from battlefields but from gentle smudges of
unfinished love,
each covered with bandage, not healing just concealing,
trying to stop the pain from bleeding, covering my corpse in aches,
and so i keep my gaurd up, no strolling on passion boulevards,
for torment and agony were never printed on invitation cards,
but when the time comes and you compel me to,
i'll let my inner demons out for you,
and as i strip down to my sheer,
i wonder, will you peer or look away,
will your thoughts run astray,
will you love the bone and flesh just as much as,
you loved the carapace.
 Aug 2017 Cloudy Heart
Nadia
Why
 Aug 2017 Cloudy Heart
Nadia
Why
Why oh why
Do the trees obey me
Why oh why
Do the skies orbit me
Why oh why
Does my flames shine brighter than many
Why oh why
Is the rain so willing to help me
Why oh why
Do living creates depend on me
Yet my one true love
Sits on the opposite sides of me
And as we unite
Once in 365 days
A day to ourselves is added
We release nothingness
Utter darkness
Our love is a dark whole
I have tried to respect your way and obey your commands

but I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

I have disposed almost everything to make you proud of me

but I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

I could change my wardrobe from black to white

but I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

I could change my personality, and allow it be more bright!

but I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

Even if my eyelids has a lighter color of design

I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

Even if I burned my mistakes and my past to ground

I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried

What if I cut off every limb?  As payment to set you free?

I still couldn't please you, no matter how hard I tried

What if I surrendered my life and body to you?

Would that even satisfy?...

I could never please you, no matter how hard I tried....

*Your Not Worth It
I'm done trying to please you
I'm tired of trying to meet your expectations
I'm tired of trying to reach your standards
I am, instead, looking up to the one who is Higher
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