Oh My..
I'm so afraid I made a mistake..
I miss you more with every breath that I take..
Oh My..
I like him so much..
I don't want to not have him..
Oh My..
But I miss how comfortable we were..
How easy it was to be with you..
Oh My..
I can't even hold his hand without panicking..
It feels wrong to be with another guy..
Oh My..
And I see it hurting you..
But I don't want to hurt you..
Oh My..
I don't know what I want..
But it feels like I'll never happy..

Remember when you wanted me in your bed?
Now you rush off for your morning coffee instead..

Remember when a hug and kiss was never enough?
Now our room is inactive and our hearts feel scuffed..

..I miss you..

Do you miss me?

you feel pain
and fear
the world is so cruel
no one really cares
well, except for me and you

you're alone in this
you say no one could understand
but remember
you have me
take my hand

we've both suffered loss
and we've both been through hell
here, i have the scars to prove it
and so do you
so why wouldn't i get it?

i understand your pain
though my situation was different
but still it hurt like crazy
and ripped me apart
just as this has done to you

when you cry
i cry just the same
your pain
becomes my own
i feel your every mood

your emotions reflect in me
your anger infects me
your happiness bathes me
your violation degrades me
and your living changes me

we're the same
in so many different ways
so know that i'm always here
you're never alone
so that may lessen your fear

i've given myself to you
so use my feelings if you have to
to feel joy and happiness
flooding through my love
you can find everything you need within me

me and you
you and me
we're like clones, copies
we're one and the same
you'll always have me

One day I'm going to be old and droopy
And your ears are going to be huge and hairy
My cheeks are going to sag and so are my arms
And you won't be able to move like you used to

One day I'm going to be grey and naggy
And your hearing aids won't work and you'll complain
My eyes will steadily stop seeing as well
And you'll never remember what day it is

One day I'm going to be confused and deaf
And you're going to be elderly with dementia
I won't be able to walk, but I'll crawl to you anyways
You won't be able to speak, but you'll love me the same

One day we're going to be nostalgic and cranky
And we won't understand our grandchildren's technology
We won't understand why these kids listen to such garbage
And we'll be forever together, in love with each other

Baby, let me hold you one last time
Give me this chance to call you mine
I know you won't miss me
But I'll always yearn for you here

Baby, let me love you one last time
Give me this chance to trace your tattoos
I know you don't care for my innocence
But I gave it to you anyway

Dear, allow me to feel your skin
Let our bodies move once more with grace
I'll open myself to you once again
I'll entertain your wondering hand

Dear, allow me to wear your lust
Let our movements synchronize as we sigh
I'll release this tension within
I'll caress your face as you enter in

I may be a simple emotion
Or a mix of all
You may interpret only one
Or sense them all
But either way it goes
I'm an open book

Your touch is like sin
I'll still give in

I know it's wrong
But it's all I want

Your lust infects me
Courses through my veins

I know it's not right
It'll only fuel the fight

Your voice soothes me
It moves me

I know I should run
But the game has only just begun

I'll let your voice wash over me
Like a sweet symphony

I'll let your body blanket me
Let our scents mingle

I'll let your words heal me
While the taste lingers

I'll fall for you all over again
With any luck, it'll never end

I'll surrender to this lovely forever
Play tricks on our eternity

I'll let your touches fill the void
You'll be my medication

I'll hold you closer than before
And feel all your warmth

We'll be comforted by the knowledge
That this love is our infinity

No conflict.

Sometimes
I find it hard to believe
That we could choose to stay together always
And we could make it happen

Perhaps, I have allowed myself to believe
In Fate too much
Maybe I have given too much control
To Destiny

Pills and potions
We're overdosing
I'm angry but I still love you

Pills and potions
We're overdosing
Can't stand it but I still love you

I plan to love you past my capability

I plan to love you until all of heaven and earth's love has run out

I plan to love you until the end of The Neverending Story

I plan to love you until all the world's hope has run dry

I plan to love you even after the day we both die

You broke my heart
You crushed me

Then you sat around
And toyed with me

Showed me off to your friends
A trophy to your buddies

Then you threw me out
To the street with my love

You liked to see me down
Listened to my pain

Then you saw who I had found
And you lost your way

You realized that I wasn't afraid
You knew I had someone better

Then you ran to find her
Someone to fill the void I left

You couldn't stay faithful
Not them and not to me

And when you realize the truth
The fact that you're a failure

You'll forget who was your savior
You'll have not another favor

Then you'll sit all alone
No mercy will you be shown

Please
Don't look at me
I don't want to see your face

                            Please
                            Don't talk to me
                            It is I who wanted space

                                                        Please
                                                        Don't love me
                                                        Find someone to take my place

                                                                                                          Please

I think it's crazy
How we've all been brainwashed
Into believing that one of us
Can change nothing

We've been taught
To only see Adolf's evils
And to ignore
The magnificence of his rise

We're told stories of revolutionaries
In such a way
That we only dream of revolution
And settle for the man's reality

Isn't it amazing
How we've all been coaxed
Into believing one alone is insignificant
Selectively forgetting all starts with one

You, Me, She, or even He
Could change this world
With the right words and work
But we won't

We've been brainwashed
Into
*Insignificance

Suddenly I realized

The walls had crumbled
And were reduced to rubble

So I began to rebuild.

Tears don't sting anymore
Whiskey bottles not crowding the floor
Eyes wide open
To the words unspoken

Heart doesn't ache anymore
Burning pages I've already torn
I stopped fighting
But you're not winning

Every kiss
Reminds me of another's lips
As though
You're not mine to hold anymore

A stranger
Someone I could only dream to know
Every night
I will be haunted to tears

Every touch
Reminds me of distance
Sleep is gone
I've been abandoned by my only refuge

I wrote on myself last night

I wrote the words

                                                          Vile

            Broken

                                                                                            *****

                                            Alone

                      Ugly

                                                                             Fat

                                                    Pale

     Stupid

                                                                                     ****

                              Inferior

                                                                                                            Lonely

                 Sad

                                                          Awkward

                          Weird

                                                                                        Worthless

I wrote them with sharpie

And then I took my pocket knife

Freshly sharpened

And I cut the words into my skin

I cut lines across my thighs

And I watched all the ink sink in

"They say that ink poisoning can **** you

Well, welcome death

To my body. To my temple."

That's what I said

Later, I got in the shower

And I scrubbed off the writing

I scrubbed until my flesh was raw

There was even a little more bleeding

I marked DAY 3 off the calendar

And I went to bed

This morning I woke up

I plastered a smile on my face

And prepared for the day

To see the only one who makes me happy

And keeps me sane

At least when he is around

Soon I'll go home and do like usual

I'll pull out the sharpies

And again I'll sharpen my pocket knife

I'll make a long list of words

And I'll repeat the night before

But tonight I might not cry as much

Even though the pain will be 10 times worse

Does it taste sour?
The bitter hand of reality
It used to feed you
But you bit it

Does it feel painful?
The sharp blade of death
It used to protect you
But you abused it

I hope it's disgusting
I hope it stings
Because the truth
Is relentless