Falling in love with you was the best choice I ever made.
Not giving up on you was the best thing I ever could've done.
And handing over my heart to you, though I was hesitant at the start, was the start of the most exhilerating free fall of my life, and I know that it's the safest one I ever could have chosen as well, because I know that with you, falling is more like flying.
And I am confident with you as my wings, because you are the biggest blessing God ever could've granted me.
You are the most beautiful soul that I have ever been blessed to know.
I swear the moon ought to get it's light from you,
and the birds could learn a thing or two from you, because I've never heard a sweeter sound than you singing, but even that comes second to you whispering into my neck, "I Love you."

I want forever with you.

And that thought is beautiful enough to stand on its own, but there's more, thank goodness.
Because with you I can look forward to that future, but still be in love with the moment we're living in, laying in your arms and watching you doze off and listen to your heartbeat. Tonight I wonder what it was in your thoughts that made it start racing for a few moments there.
And I feel no need to rush at all, because I have forever (I think. And I hope). I just want to enjoy where we are now, before we get to where we are next.
And I like right now. It's the most comfortable and exciting anticipation I've ever experienced. Because I think that I'm falling in love. I think maybe that's what it means when I can't help but smile when I look at you, or grin when you caress my face. I think that's what it means that I sleep better in your arms than anywhere in the world, as if my heart is calmer when it can hear yours. I think that maybe this is what love is, wanting this forever with you, and feeling in my gut that there will always be a next moment to anticipate, but also a this moment to enjoy. So I'm enjoying comfortably and hopefully anticipating and wondering. Because I'm curious if you're thinking the same things. Im wondering if you might fall in love with me as well. And I'm hoping that you're crossing your fingers that I'll cross my heart and hope to die with you at my side.
And maybe tomorrow that anticipation will be answered. But for now, I'll go to sleep without you, knowing that one day I might not have to.

I know this is an adjustment mom But I also know it's one you understand. And I think that might be what scares you. Because I've never felt this way before. As many times as I've fallen it's always been the feeling of a freefall, waiting for the ground to catch me, or waiting for my stomach to catch up with the gravity and find its way back to my abdomen instead of my throat. But this time around, falling feels more like flying. And planning feels sort of freeing. And our plan has been to go with the flow and we haven't much worried about it otherwise. But this flow has us underhandedly talking about children and the future as if they belong to us, as we, not just he and me, separately. And I haven't built my home in a person, but it's in this person that I have found home. It was built before I was here. But I feel like I was meant to roam the halls of his heart. And maybe this honeymoon phase won't last. But we know each other, he and I. And because of that I feel confident in wanting this to do just that, and last. I want him to be my first love and my last...

Stop.
Breathe.
Go for a drive.
See.
Admire.
Pray.
Ponder.
Sing.
Dance.
Be spontaneous.
Trust.
Surrender.
Release.
Hope.
Love.
Pause.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Live.

A hummingbird sips from the fountain in that courtyard where the only sound is the dripping water and the faint buzzing of electricity. Every so often you'll hear a car pass, footsteps from somewhere close by, and the wind whistle through the trees.
And I think you forget to remember that every second of it is significant. The hummingbird chirps to remind you to listen, and I hope you will. The wind whispers around you while the sun wraps you in a blanket, to remind you to feel, and I hope you do. You hear the electricity and the water and I hope you remember that you're blessed to be where you are in that courtyard at work and in your life. When the cars rush past I hope you remember that there are hundreds of lives being lived all around you today and you are just one of these beings living your life. And I hope you remember that every one of those lives is important and significant but that yours, or theirs, are no more significant than others'. And when you hear the shuffling of feet I hope you look to the faces that they're carrying and smile- teeth and all- and I hope it's because you see the significance of every second of your day. And even if you don't, try for me.