I'm afraid of myself
I fear my own gullibility and nativity
It frustrates me that I can be so easily deceived

I keep an open mind, never taking words for truth
My conciseness warns me and keeps me sane

I don't want to be lied to or manipulated
I don't want to be part of your stupid game
You laugh when you think I believe you
It is nothing but a game.

It worries me
Someone I once thought of as a friend
Is a creepy predator in someone else's eyes
She told me what he did, who he really is
Do I take everything to heart or only half of it?

And yet it makes sense
I think I saw the signs.
I think I knew better

There was a reason I never told him my address
There was a reason I never wanted to be alone with him

He would smile and call me nicknames
I always felt unsettled
That little voice telling me
Looks like I knew better

I wish I had the power
To tell the deceptions apart
I wish I could see auras,
So I could know from the start

Do you genuinely like me?
Or are you just pretending?
Why do people lie and hurt
to those who don't expect it?

I hope your happy now
Did you enjoy yourself?
Cause You made a fool out of someone
Leaving them with broken trust.

Beware the snakes beneath your feet
Beware the guys who are lonely and nice.
Beware the ones who lie with smiles
And look at you with hidden lust

Listen to the voice in your head,
The one screaming "Beware!"
As soon as you turn your back the viper will be there
He is always lurking, nipping at your heals
Making you think your safe while waiting to strike
He will put candy in your drink or let you doom yourself

You've given me no reason to doubt,
yet I find myself wanting to escape.
This feeling in my gut, I head it's urgent warnings
Stay with the crowd, don't let him get too close.

What is going through your head?
What do you really think?
What goes through your mind when you look at me?
You say let's have a drink.

You scared me, so I reacted.
I hurt you, as witnessed by the angry red on your skin.
It was all fun and games, at least at the time.
And it makes me sick to think
That you liked it when I did that
When I showed you my strength

Beware the cunning snake, they are the most unpredictable
At least fuckboys know their jerks,
You know what their after.
What you see is what you get,
It's almost honest in a sense.

Looking back I see it,
All the little signs.
Good thing I stayed clear
Good thing I drew the line

It is obsessive,
Your emotions towards me.
You would hurt me if you thought it best
You would tell me not to cry
Whispering delusional I love you' s

I am always looking for you
Expecting to see you watching
Cause I am afraid of the beast I unleashed
When I gave you nothing

I saw it in your eyes very briefly,
The anger and coldness.
The reason to keep my distance.
I'm glad I broke your heart
So I'm not put in unwanted positions

You tell me your sick
I question your words.
If its pity your after,
If your trying to make me stay,
Well I'm sorry to tell you,
But this stops today

You're drowning
And I won't let you pull me down too,
So I block you on snapchat, on Facebook, and Insta.
I delete your number and the voicemails you left,
Because the relief I feel lets me know
That I made the right choice by letting you go.

Down the rabbit hole I go
Spiraling and falling,
I can't see the ground below

So many wonders and mysteries
This place, my Wonderland,
But lurking are the ghosts of an unwanted  history.

I'm writing about you again
My strange stranger

You visit me in my dreams
but I can't see your face

You have such strong arms
To wrap around me
They comfort and protect

You are at least a head taller than me
Enough so to rest your chin on my head

There is warmth and trust, so much trust
I curl into you

You are my best friend and partner
Doubt never creeps
I can't explain it

You smell of clean laundry and something familiar
You say I smell like vanilla

As you run your fingers through my hair
You stare with loving eyes.
They are never the same color.
Sometimes a blue so deep I could swim in them
sometimes a green so vibrant I can't help but stare

Your hair never stays the same either.
Sometimes its dark, sometimes its blonde
But always so thick and soft

I yearn for you
My heart aches
So much so that I want to cry

I wish you were in my life already
But one minute I'm ready and another I'm not
I'm sorry if I keep you waiting,
But please know, I'm on my way
And I hope you are too
Please be patient and wait,
Wait for me...

I hope that your heart doesn't belong to another
But if it does, It can only lead you to me,
A better person than before.
Mine is still new and I can't wait to give it you
And I hope you are the only one I give it to.

You never knew me as well as you thought you did
You only saw the side I wanted you to see
You saw the moon glowing in all her glory
Worshiping her more than she deserved
You didn't see the dark side
The side that didn't deserve praise and flattery
That left me with guilt
Because you were praising only half of me, thinking it was all of me

You never knew me as well as you thought you did
You always expected me to be the happy, bubbly person I could sometimes be
You thought something was wrong when I wasn't how you wanted me to be
"I'm fine" I say. And I really was.
Why can't I have my quieter days?
It can be exaughsting to be happy all the time
Sometimes I want to be expressionless

There were things I liked that you didn't know about
And there are things I have done that you didn't know about
If I told you, would you have seen me differently?
I know you would.

You never truly knew me
You only think you did
If I asked you a question about me, would you know the answer?
Probably not.
You knew what you saw, not the facts
You knew the moon glowed bright, but quickly forgot that there are two sides.
Just like you forgot that every cycle the moon goes dark.
It doesn't glow or shine brilliantly
It doesn't bathe you in moonlight and light your path
It leaves you blind in a night without shadows, without light

You knew the full moon, you never saw the New
Cause if you did, you would have left me alone