I lie awake
awaiting sleep
I lie in wait
For a moment's peace

But this restless energy will not leave me be
No wide yawns or heavy lids will come to set me free

"Sleep, sleep"
I whisper, in tune to my heart beat
"Drink me"
The coffee at my bedside tempts me

I close my eyes and start to count sheep
"Sleep, sleep" I whisper softly

"**** it" I eventually groan
reaching for my coffee

You shall bleed!

No Milord, please

You shall harm yourself!

No Milord, please

You shall love the one who does not reciprocate!

No!!! I beg you Milord, no! Don't do this to me!

You shall suffer!
You shall suffer!
You shall suffer!
Till death comes for you!

Y-yes Milord

It's lonely and cold
Without your voice
It's bitter and miserable
Without your words
But if that's the price I have to pay
For the paths we've chosen
So be it

I'm sad all the time
Not for any reason, just because
I want to break down and cry
When I think of who I was
Vs who I am

I used to have dreams
Now I only crave sleep
I used to want to fly
Now I'm content with crawling
I was a person with a calling
Now I struggle to find a reason to get by

Being genuine
Caused me more pain
Keep smiling could've helped
Knowing to keep my distance would've helped
Maturing faster might've helped
Should I blame my depression?
Should I blame the little professional help I get?
Should I keep throwing blame?
Or just give up and go to sleep